Thanks for the reviews. :)
Now on to the next installment of what I'm affectionately referring to as "the KISS series". It ended up being longer than I thought it would so I'm making it a two shot. I know I said it would be called "I Wanna Rock'N'Roll All Nite" but I changed my mind when I found a better song... ;)
I FINALLY FOUND MY WAY
Part 1.
Three days had passed since his father's wake and that kiss and Jack hadn't been able to get Kate out of his mind.
Every time he that thought he was winning the battle he was hit with the memory of something else she'd said:
"And these girls, they just let a guy like you go?"
"So I guess I must be pretty special then, huh, for you to allow me into your inner sanctum like this?"
"Let me get this straight – you think having sex with me would be 'crazy'? Cause it didn't seem like you minded earlier when I kissed you… In fact, I bet you wouldn't mind if I did it again..."
And she almost had. She would have if they hadn't been interrupted. Was it just his imagination or had she wanted it as much as he did?
There was a moment in his room – he could still see her smile as she pulled back, her lip gloss smeared, her cheeks flushed, her green eyes sparkling – and again downstairs, when she'd teased him about it, where he was almost certain that she shared his feelings.
That she loved him or at least that she thought that she could.
Why else would she care about girls that he'd dated more than twenty years ago?
Why else would it bother her so much that he might not want to sleep with her?
Why else would she flirt with him like that?
There was only one way to find out. Determined to get to the bottom of her confusing behaviour, he sat down at his desk and thumbed through the menu of his cell until her number came up.
"Hello?"
She answered it almost as soon as it started to ring – out of breath as though she'd raced to pick it up – and for a moment he wondered if she'd been expecting his call, but he shook the thought off when he realised that she probably hadn't even bothered to check the caller ID. Her greeting was so vague that it could have been meant for anyone.
"Kate, hey," he said, trying to not to sound too eager in case he'd misread her intentions. The last thing he wanted was to come on too strong and make things awkward between them.
"Hey," she returned, and he thought that she sounded pleased but her friendly tone made it difficult to tell.
"Is there something you need, Jack?" she prompted him when he struggled to think of an opener, something that wouldn't make the real reason for his call too obvious. He could hear the smirk in her voice as she waited for him to get to the point.
"I uh… I just found your number and I thought I'd see what you've been up to since the funeral," he began, cringing at how callous this seemed when he said it aloud. He was going for cool and casual but he wasn't sure that that was how it had come across.
As far as excuses went, it didn't even make sense. If her number was programmed into his cell then obviously he knew where it was.
"So what you're saying is, you're not really interested in what I've been doing, you just thought you'd ask, since you 'found my number'…?" she insisted and as he pictured her amused expression, he almost wished that he'd just come out and told her what he was really thinking. That couldn't possibly be more embarrassing.
"What? No. Of course I'm interested, Kate…" he tried to defend himself, but she cut him off before he could figure out how else to explain his apparent indifference.
"Okay then," she agreed, letting him off the hook, and he settled back in his chair for what he hoped would be a long and fruitful conversation. "Since you asked, this morning I got up, took a shower, fed the baby... went to the grocery store where this gorgeous guy started playing with him while we were in line…"
He was prepared to listen to the mundane minutiae of her life in the real world, curious about how she spent her time, but this last part threw him for a loop. While he wasn't confident enough to believe that he'd secured the number one spot in her heart now that Sawyer was out of the picture, it had never occurred to him that she might take an interest in anyone else.
"His name is Lance," she gushed and the image of a bronze Adonis at least ten years his junior sprang into his mind. Someone closer to her type or what he envisioned her type to be.
"You have to meet him, Jack," she told him and just for a second he wished that he could. Who was this guy? Did he even know the first thing about her or was he just after her compensation money? Surely he must have recognised her. They'd been all over the news for weeks.
"He's smart, funny, good with kids. He's supposed to call me to set up a date. I actually thought you were him just now."
He felt like she'd sucker punched him in the stomach when it hit him that that was why she was so quick to answer her phone. It wasn't him that she'd wanted to talk to, it was Lance.
"That… I'm happy for you, Kate," he managed to agree, to mask how heartsick he was at the realisation that he'd had his chance with her and he'd let her slip through his fingers.
Again.
It had taken him almost five months to work up the courage to sweep her off her feet and this Lance guy came in and did it in five minutes? "You deserve to be with someone like that."
She was silent for a moment and he worried that, despite his best efforts, she knew how insincere he was.
"You know, I really think this could be it," she confessed, and he wondered why she was telling him this when they'd never had that kind of friendship before. Couldn't she see how hard it was for him to hear? How painful it was for him to think of her with another guy, one he wasn't sure that he could compete with? "Aaron seems to like him and I think it'll be good for him to have a father figure in his life."
He almost choked at these words. How could she be thinking about that already? Especially after that thing with the pillows? Hadn't that proved that he could take care of Aaron? That he could be a good father to him if she let him?
"I thought you just met this guy? Lance?" he reminded her, struggling to keep the venom out of his tone. He wasn't fooling anyone. He wasn't happy. He wanted to put his first through the nearest wall. Or better yet, someone's face. Lance's.
"I did," she agreed. "But you know how sometimes you can just tell? You meet someone and there's this… connection. You're not really sure how or why, it's just easy. Everything works."
She could have been describing his feelings for her. "Don't you think you're rushing into things, Kate?" he insisted, desperate at the thought that she might share that with someone – anyone – other than him. "Maybe you should wait until you've been out with him a couple of times…"
It took him a moment to register the sound coming from her end and then he trailed off. "Wait, are you laughing?" He wasn't aware that he'd said anything that could be considered funny.
"You don't seriously think I'm planning on marrying a guy I met in line at the grocery store, do you, Jack?" she teased him, hiccoughing as she tried to get it under control.
"No, of course not, I just—" he started to argue, a furious blush creeping into his cheeks when he realised how close the idea had come to sending him into a nervous breakdown.
"Then why did you say you were happy for me when we both know you didn't mean it?" she asked, and he noticed that her voice had changed. She wasn't joking anymore.
"Why don't you want me to be happy for you, Kate?" he pressed, sitting up straighter, determined not to let her turn it back on him this time. It was always about his feelings and never about hers.
She didn't speak for a long time, and he was afraid that she'd hung up until she said, "You really don't know?"
"Don't know what?" He was getting tired of having her mess with his head. Why couldn't she just agree that this wasn't a game to her?
"The only guy I talked to at the grocery store was a balding, middle-aged man who told me Aaron reminded him of his grandson," she confessed with a sigh. "I made it all up, Jack,"
This wasn't at all what he was expecting; it was a few seconds before he managed to find his voice. "Why?"
"To see your reaction," she told him. "I've gotta admit, I'm surprised. I didn't think you'd take it so well."
Her tone took on a teasing note as she added, "I was sure you'd be jealous."
Now that she'd as good as admitted that the attraction was mutual, he knew that he should get her back, but all he could think was that if Lance wasn't real, then he hadn't missed his chance.
He wasn't going to make that mistake a third time. "So you don't have a date tonight?"
"I don't have any plans," she agreed.
"Then you won't mind if I ask you out," he insisted.
She didn't answer right away, and when she did, he could hear the smile in her voice. "Took you long enough."
In Part 2: The date and more KISS-related humour... ;)