-Me- Hello my fellow fan fiction people this is my Thirty-eighth Invader Zim story. I strongly suggest that you read the other thirty in order before you read this one otherwise you will not get it. Here is the order. Cool Zim, The Stacker that came from the Stars, Zim and Gaz together at last, Zim's First Love, Zim's Future, Army Zim, Zim's Worst Nightmare, Zim and Fruit what a pair, Dib's New Alley, Amethyst's weird cruse of Doom, The Return of the Stalker that came from the Starts, Pool of Horrors, Talent show of Doom, Grand prize of RJ Doom, Halloween Terrors Combined, Annoying new job of Doom, New challenges, Maybe a New Alley for Dib, Kierra's Grand entrance, Jump in the line home alone dance party, A day with Amethyst, Thanksgiving interview, When Dance Dance Revolution and Waffles Meet, Zim's one little Slip, It'll be the end of the world invaderzimfannumber1and, Amethyst's 1st and Most Horrible Almost X-Mas Ever, Christmas Eve Shopping Spree, The Most Wonderful X-Mas Ever, Amethyst and Kierra's Worst Day Ever, End of the Year Sleep Over, Friday the 13th Valentine Stalker, Poison Bloody Pineapple, Hearts and Arrows, Bloody Sword Transfusion, First day back, Final Destination Iz style, Fourth of July Speech of Doom, First Date, Opposite Day, Neurotically Nice, Sonic Siren, Romance Blooming Deception, The Candy Zombie of Horror, Zombie Squeal, Thanksgiving Turkey Surprise, Invader Zim Western, Crash Course, A Meekrob Christmas Carol and Birthday Surprise. I don't own Invader Zim. I wish I did, but I don't. ENJOY AND REVIEW!
Setting 1 Dib's House
Dib was in his house watching TV and eating popcorn out of the bowl on his lap. Thistle was sleeping in between Dib's feet on the floor.
-Mysterious Mysteries Announcer- Welcome truth seekers to Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mysteries. Tonight is the exciting conclusion of the attack of the Mutant Zombie Vampire Doughnuts.
-Dib- Yes I've been waiting all week for this Thistle. (Thistle just yawned and put his head back down not really caring about the show that much.)
-Mysterious Mysteries Announcer- I'm here with the man who was attacked by these mysterious creatures. (He walked up to a man in a straight jacket.) Sir in your own words please tell us what happened on the night you were attacked?
-Victim- It was horrible I…
-News Reporter- We interrupt this program to bring you this special news report.
-Dib- What the heck? (He stud up in annoyance and in the process the bowl in his lap fell on Thistle's head.) Oh come on it was just getting good.
-News Reporter- I'm standing outside of a grocery store where an innocent employee has just been infected by a terrible disease. His condition follows pale skin and red eyes. The boys say I should not approach him, but I'm a brave reporter. (He went into the store and walked up to this man that was hunched over in a corner.) Hello Sir how do you feel?
-Sir- I want to suck your blood. (Thistle was flying with the bowl still on his head he was trying to get up to Dib's Room before he was attacked by more kitchen wear.) GIVE ME BLOOD!
-Dib- (He spat out his drink and the cola hit Thistle causing him to fall to the ground, but luckily for Thistle the bowl fell off of him in the process.) Oh no…
-News Reporter- (The Sir began to attack him for his blood.) AHH! CUT TO COMMERCIAL CUT TO COMMERCIAL! (They cut to a commercial.)
-Dib- I don't believe it. That poor employee he was turned into a vampire and I know who did it. I knew I never should have let Jason go. That fined he turned that man into a vampire. Vegetarian Vampire my butt and… (Thistle set Dib's coat on fire.) AHH! (He jumped into the air and then landed on floor and started rolling on the ground to put out the fire. When the fire was finally out you can imagine how mad Dib was.) Thistle what the heck was that for?(Thistle grabbed the bowl and played out what Dib did to him showing him that he had dropped his bowl on his head and spat cola all over him and he also gave Thistle a lump on the head from the bowl.) Oh I'm sorry Thistle for dropping my bowl on your head and for spitting my cola at you and for the lump on your head. But we don't have time for petty arguments don't you see we have to destroy the evil vampire before he strikes again. (He said holding a stake in his hand. Dib expected Thistle to be eager to help him, but all the little dragon did was just stick his tongue out at Dib and then fly upstairs to Dib's Room and to bed.) Fine be that way. I'll deal with this monster on my own. Look out Jason because Dib Membrane is gonna put a stop to your rain of evil and… (Gaz throw a trashcan at Dib.)
-Gaz- Shut up Dib I'm trying to play a game.
-Dib- Everybody is against me in this house.
Setting 2 The Cafeteria
Jason was sitting at a table talking to Paige when the horror that is the big headed fool appeared.
-Jason- And that's why vampires hate garlic.
-Paige- Wow and I thought it was, because you're allergic to it or something like that.
-Jason- No that's not the case in fact… (Just then Dib jumped on top of Jason and they rolled on to the floor. Dib was on top of Jason and he had a stake in his hand.) Ahh Dib what are you doing?
-Dib- Like you don't know. I am here to destroy you.
-Paige- Dib this is not funny. Now get off of Jason. (She tried to pull Dib off of Jason, but he would not budge.)
-Dib- Never now stand back Paige I have to silence this blood sucker before he kills again.
-Jason- What are you talking about Dib? I never killed anybody.
-Dib- Then how do you explain this. (He showed Jason a picture of the employee he had either taken off the computer or off the TV either way it was a very bad picture, but good enough for Jason to see that the man was now a vampire with tiny little bight marks on his neck.)
-Jason- O.k. Dib first of all that is the worst picture ever. Next time try not taking pictures of the TV or computer and second of all look at those bit marks then look at my fangs. (He said pulling back his lips to show Dib his fangs.) Do you see a difference? Hmm… look at how tinny those bite marks are compared to my fangs. (Dib looked at Jason's fangs and he realized that Jason was not the culprit.)
-Dib- Oh well this is award.
-Jason- It gets worse. (He said pointing out the fact that everybody was staring at them.)
-Dib- Oh hi everybody we were just rehearsing a play called…
-Jason- The Attack of the Big Headed Moron. (Dib glared at Jason but then everybody stopped looking at them and went back to eating their food.)
-Dib- Sorry about that Jason. (He said helping Jason up.) But, if you didn't attack that man then who did?
-Jason- (He took the picture from Dib and looked at it.) Well obviously it's a very young vampire with very tiny fangs. Either way just, because I'm the only you know what that you know that does not automatically mean that I'm guilty.
-Paige- Yah Dib where do you get off jumping to conclusion like that?
-Dib- O.k. I'm sorry, but this just means that there's still a vampire out there and you're gonna help me destroy it Jason.
-Jason- I'm what?
-Dib- Yah come on Jason if I'm going up against a full fledged vampire I'm gonna need another ones help.
-Jason- Oh so you're saying you don't need anybody's help to destroy me?
-Dib- Well I ah what?
-Jason- Beside even if I wanted to help you Dib I can't. Need I remind you that I'm a wanted criminal? If the other vampires find me or my family I'm dead.
-Dib- Exactly one of the reasons why we need to destroy this monster.
-Jason- Huh…
-Dib- Think about it if we don't take care of it now then there's a good chance it will find you and destroy you and who knows who else. Don't you see Jason we have to get the drop on it before it gets the drop on us?
-Jason- Fine I'll help you if someone else comes with us.
-Dib- Why?
-Jason- Because, I don't want be left alone with you and your big head.
-Dib- MY HEADS NOT BIG and fine if you are going to be that way. Do anyone of you guys want to come with us?
-Keef- Uw I do!
-Dib- What?
-Keef- Hey Dib I can help. I would be happy to help. Jason, you, and I would be so happy together taking part in a big play and having so much fun and…
-Dib- This is not a play Keef and there's no way you're coming with us. Please you guys anybody but Keef. Will?
-Will- Ah-chew sorry Dib but I think I'm coming down with something Ah-chew! And statistics show that cold night air is very bad for a cold. AH-CHEW!
-Dib- O.k. Paige?
-Paige- Sorry Dib, but I have to plant my night flowers tonight.
-Dib- Gretchen?
-Gretchen- Babysitting.
-Shadow- Don't even thing about asking me Dib I've got work tonight.
-Rachel- Me too.
-Julie- Tak, Skoodge, and I have work to do.
-Dib- Oh come on I'm dispirit. Zim you can even come.
-Zim- Hahahahaha… Me the superior Zim help you. Hahahaha… (He fell out of his chair from laughing to hard. Dib turned to Amethyst who just shook her head and continued to eat.)
-Dib- Fine Keef you can come.
-Keef- WOO! Oh this is going to be so much fun. Just me and my two buddies Dib and Jason WOO! (He said giving them a group hug.)
-Dib- It's going to be a long investigation.
Setting 3 Dib's House
-Jason- (He was ringing Dib's doorbell.) Come on Dib I haven't got all night and… (Dib came out of his house. He was soaking wet and he had a black eye.) Hahahaha…Oh dude what happened to you?
-Dib- Gaz was not too thrilled when I asked her to take care of Thistle tonight. I probably should have offered to pay her first thing. Anyway I really don't wanna talk about it. So where's Keef. Please tell me he told you he couldn't come?
-Keef- Hey guys.
-Dib- Oh great.
-Keef- Dib what happened to your eye. Did my beloved get mad at you? You know you two really need to learn to get along. Maybe you need to take her aside and give her a big hug and…
-Dib- Trust me Keef if I did that I would be in worse shape than this anyway can we just get started?
-Keef- Sure I can't wait to get this sleepover started. We're going to have so much fun and…
-Dib- This is not a sleepover Keef. We're going on a paranormal investigation.
-Keef- A what?
-Jason- Basically big head saw a news report last night saying that there has been a vampire bighting in town and our job is to destroy the vampire before he kills again.
-Dib- MY HEADS NOT BIG!
-Jason- Whatever.
-Keef- Oh wow a vampire hungt but I'm afraid of vampires.
-Jason- Too bad because I refuse to be left alone with him.
-Dib- Hey.
-Jason- Hay is for horses now let's get to work.
-Dib- Fine here Jason you can be the camera man. (He passed Jason a camera.)
-Jason- O.k. but…
-Dib- Don't worry it's a special camera from the Swollen Eyeballs and it can film vampires.
Jason- That is not what I meant. Why are we filming this little endeavor?
-Dib- So we can take it to Mysterious Mysteries.
-Keef- Cool we get to be on TV WOO! Now I want to come. I want to be on TV so that I can spread joy to the world YEAH!
-Dib- Whatever and I've got a stake gun that I will use to kill the fiends.
-Keef- What about me Dib?
-Dib- Well Keef I don't really have another stake gun after my last vampire battle for you, but you can use this garlic. (He gave the garlic to Keef. Then before he knew it Keef ate the garlic.) What no you idiot you're not supposed to eat the garlic.
-Keef- But, I love garlic. (He said and Dib smelled his fowl breath.)
-Dib- Uw man I guess you could just use your breath to word off the vampire.
-Jason- It certainly works on my allergies. (He said backing away from Keef.)
-Dib- Good then alright we're ready to go to the scene of the crime.
Setting 3 The Store
Dib, Keef, and Jason walked up to the store.
-Dib- Here we are the scene of the crime. Where the innocent man was attacked by the vile blood sucker… Jason put the camera back on me.
-Jason- Not if you're going to continue to have an attitude and name call.
-Keef- Wow Jason why is it that you seem to have a liking for vampires they're so scary.
-Jason- No reason Keef and stay away from me your fowl breath is bad for my allergies and… (He nearly through up, because Keef still did not go far enough away from him.)
-Keef- Sorry Jason. I...
-Dib- Guys can we stay focused we have a job to do.
-Keef- (They walked up to the counter to talk to the man in charge the man looked really sad.) Hello sir. Aw don't look so sad sir tell you what I'll buy something from here and…
-Dib- Keef I told you we have to remain focused while we're here. So I'll ask the questions. Sir would you mind telling us what happened to your employee last night. (He said with Jason reluctantly holding the camera on him.)
-Mark- Oh you mean Luke the guy who was stricken by that terrible disease.
-Dib- What it's not a disease it's…
-Jason- Yah that's who he means.
-Mark- Well it's like I told the police. I sent Luke to go take out the garbage and when he came back he was very pale, had red eyes, craved blood, and looked just like you kid. Ahh! Do you have the disease too? IS IT CONTAGIOUS?
-Jason- Of course not and I don't have this disease as you call it I am just an albino.
-Mark- Oh thank goodness. Anyway he was disturbing the costumes. So I called the hospital and they called the news and policemen and they took him anyway.
-Dib- O.k. but that does not tell us what the daemon looks like and… (Jason stepped on his foot.) Ow hey Jason…
-Jason- I told you to cut out the name calling.
-Dib- Maybe what I'm saying is the truth… (They glared at each other.)
-Keef- Hey Mark (He said reading the guy's name tag.) do your surveillance cameras film near the dumpster?
-Mark- Of course.
-Keef- Can you show us the one from last night?
-Mark- Sure.
-Dib- (He was shocked that Keef thought of that idea.) Keef how did you know to ask that?
-Keef- My sister watches a lot of cop shows.
-Video- (The man took the trash and dumped it into the dumpster and then a bunch of those Genetically Enhance Vermin that Zim infected the city with attacked the man.) AHH! (After they were done sucking his blood they ran off. Then the man stood up completely changed and turned into a vampire.)
-Keef- Oh that poor man.
-Jason- What were those things?
-Dib- I can't believe it those fools.
-Jason- Dib do you know what those things are?
-Dib- Yep they're one of Zim's old take over the world plans. Someone must have been experimenting on them and turned them into vermin vampires.
-Jason- Who would do such a thing?
-Dib- It does not matter who did it. What matters is that we need to find and destroy those things before it is too late and to do that we are going to need to talk to Zim.
-Keef- WOO I get to see my buddy Zim!
Setting 4 On The Way to Zim's Base
Keef, Jason, and Dib were headed for Zim's base. Jason and Dib were ahead and Keef was behind.
-Keef- So Dib why would Zim want to take over the world… And are you guys even listening to me?
-Dib- What am I going to do Jason? Keef does not know Zim and Amethyst's secret and I promised them that I would stop trying to revel it.
-Jason- Hmm… I've got it I'll turn into a bat and distract Keef while you go talk to Zim.
-Dib- O.k. great idea.
-Jason- Ah Keef I just remembered I have to go get something from my house. I'll be right back. Here Keef you hold on to the camera. (He passed Keef the camera and then ran off.)
-Keef- Wait Jason… (But, it was too late Jason was already gone. Then in less than a minute a bat came and attacked Keef.) AHH! GET IT OFF I HATE BATS AH! (Soon Jason the bat had the camera and he flew off with it.)
-Dib- Oh no Keef he has my camera you must get it back for me please…
-Keef- Oh don't worry Dib I'll get your camera back for you. You can count on me.
-Dib- Right and I'll go talk to Zim. See you later. (Keef ran off after the bat.) Good job Jason. (He ran off to Zim's house.)
Setting 5 Zim's Base
-Dib- (He was about to knock on the door, but then he heard an explosion coming from inside and all of a sudden Zim, Kierra, Gir, Mini Moose, Diva, and Amethyst all came shooting out of the base scorched up from the explosion and Amethyst ended up falling on top of Dib.)
-Zim- Uw Gir how many times have I told you not to touch things that can explode?
-Gir- WOO IT GO BOOM!
-Kierra- Dah of course it go boom, because you're not supposed to touch it idiot.
-Diva- Hey don't talk about my love like that.
-Amethyst- Ow my head and… (She looked behind her to find Dib and screamed.) AHHH! Dib what are you doing here?
-Dib- I came here to ask your dad something.
-Zim- What do you want Dib stink?
-Dib- Do you remember when you infected the city with genetically enhanced vermin?
-Zim- Ah yes one of my most brilliant evil schemes, because you couldn't stop me.
-Dib- The only reason I didn't stop you is because Mortos is nothing but a Big Mooch.
-Zim- Whatever get to the point filthy human.
-Dib- Well somehow they have become vampires and they are attacking innocent people so I was wondering if you have any way of tracking them.
-Zim- Of course I do. I put a tracker in every one of them. (He said taking the tracker out of his Pak.) And I can use this to track them all but why would I give it to you?
-Gir- Uw pretty toy. I WANT'S! (He attacked Zim and grabbed the tracker from him.)
-Zim- Gir you stupid robot give that back.
-Gir- No it's mine. (He ran around all of them holding the tracker.) IT'S MINE IT'S MINE IT'S… (He bumped into Dib.)
-Dib- No it's mine. (He grabbed the tracker and ran off.)
-Zim- Gir you idiot now see what you've done?
-Gir- YEAH!
-Me- Well did anybody see that coming. This chapter if you ask me was sometime more trouble then it was worth. Anyway I hope you all enjoyed it and I hope to finish this story before I go to the beach next Saturday. Anyway review, look at my new drawing, and until next time I leave you all with these very true words ZIM WILLL LIVE FOREVER!