Well, um, so… This isn't exactly my best work, but it was inspired by X-Feli-Chan-X 's stuff (don't ask how it just was) so I figured I might as well post it as a birthday present. *(flails)* Anyways, just go read her stuff because she is by far the superior author in a competition with me and yeah… I don't own FMA (or really Jessica for that matter) and ON WITH THE STORY!
=^w^=
Jessica Rabbet was a very well-off young lady. Her father was a general, as had every male in her family before him. Thus, the Rabbet family had more than what some would call their fair share of wealth, and she rarely wanted for anything for very long. Unfortunately, Jessica had blossomed into a beautiful woman at twenty, and, as all young ladies (well, at least the ones she knew) do, she became rather… promiscuous. It seemed that the main goal between Jessica and her friends was to be conquered. Often. And by as many people as possible. However, the prize in each one of these women's eye was Colonel Roy Mustang. He was a tad old for her tastes; but, she figured, that messy black hair, alluring dark eyes, and sexy uncaring attitude made up for the nine year age gap.
Taking all this into consideration, it was no surprise that Jessica was ecstatic to be needed by her father at the office. That morning she woke up early, and set about priming herself: she spent extra time brushing out her long red hair, she applied layer after perfect layer of perfect eye shadow and lipstick with extra care, and she slipped on her favorite strapless sparkly red dress with a slight thrill. Checking herself in the mirror one last time, and pulling on a pair of long purple gloves, she left for Central Command.
When she arrived, she thanked her driver, and noticed with slightly more happiness than necessary that she was more than a full hour early. Situating her features into her most alluring smile, she begged and flirted her way up to the Colonel's office. "Excuse me, but is Roy here?" she asked, looking at the five people sitting in the office.
"May I ask your purpose with the Colonel?" Jessica investigated the woman who spoke: blonde hair, slightly above average bust, light to medium stature; a possible challenge, but an easily beatable one.
"I'm here on a matter of personal business."
"You do realize that it is far out of protocol to allow people to wander freely in and out of out commanding officer's office, yes?"
"You do realize that my father is General Roger Rabbet, and I can have you court marshaled if you keep me from my goal."
"Oh, burn, Hawkeye!" a blonde man chewing on the end of an unlit cigarette crowed. "Go on, let her in! Nothing's gonna happen, and you know it." Then he sent Jessica a wink. "Hey when things don't work out with you and Chief, just remember that I'm perfectly available."
"Oh, so you don't believe I'm good enough for the Colonel?" she fumed, puffing up like an upset chicken.
"Well, yeah. I mean, if you had shown up about eight months ago, he'd be all over you, but you're a little late now, sweet cheeks."
Jessica flushed, partially in anger and partially from embarrassment. "I'll have you know that I have never once in my life been rejected, regardless of previous relationships! I highly doubt your precious Colonel will be the first."
"First of all, assuming I'm not overstepping too many boundaries, that's not something to brag about," the blonde woman said. "Second, the Colonel will see you now."
"Thank you." With that, Jessica quickly left, glad to be away from those flashing eyes and pitying, yet amused, glances. She took a deep breath, readjusted her dress, and walked into Roy's office, and subtly shut the door with a soft click.
However, it seemed this click was enough, for at that moment Roy looked up from his paperwork, and Jessica had to catch her breath: he was even more beautiful than he had ever imagined. "Ah, yes, Miss Rabbet. Is there anything I can help you with?"
"Oh, I could think of one or two things," she purred, creeping like a jungle cat towards him.
"Then, by all means, enlighten me."
"Oh, I just have this one little problem." By now she was beside him, and some how found a way to climb onto his desk and straddle his knees with her ankles. Roy was positively shaking with concealed lust.
"Please tell me how I may be of assistance, Miss Rabbet," he said, his voice strained. "I really do need to return to my work."
"Aw, but don't you like me, Colonel," she said, leaning forward to husk the last word directly in his ear. She sighed in mock defeat, and leaned back, smirking when she saw Roy positively deflate. "Well, you see, there's this one thing that I want so badly, and only you can get it for me."
"What do you want?"
"You."
She leaned in to press their lips together, but at that moment, the office door was kicked in with a loud, "I'm here, Colonel Bastard!" Standing in the doorway was a young, pleated-haired blonde boy, with an auto-mail arm and leg, and a manila envelope crumple in his hand. He looked between Jessica and Roy for a moment, before letting out a slow "What the hell?"
"Ah, Fullmetal, you're here," Roy grinned, looking around the woman on his desk. "This is Miss Jessica Rabbet."
The boy just moaned in jaded annoyance. "Another one?"
"Yep."
Another one? Jessica thought. Was she just another woman in a string of floozies? She knew she was by no means his first, but to be labeled as "another one" was just downright insulting.
"-dward Elric."
"Huh?" she asked. What just happened?
"I said, this is the Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric."
"Is he called that because of his arm and leg?"
This was obviously the wrong thing to say, because it got very quiet, and gold eyes flared viciously at her. "Ah, not exactly. You see, he has the power over matter."
"Namely metals," Edward growled. There was a shock of blue light, and Edward was approaching her with his right hand formed into a wicked sharp blade.
"Edward…"
"No, Roy," Edward snapped. "I'm not about to let this… person continue as she was. I quit. You can't boss me around. You can re-hire me if you're really that desperate in a few weeks."
"What's wrong with you, you half metal freak?" Jessica screeched, cowering towards Roy who had mysteriously rolled away.
"Listen, bitch," Edward snarled, "and listen carefully; I'm only going to explain this once. You see this auto-mail? I have it because I've experience horrors you can't even imagine. You see that man behind you? He's far to intelligent and far too dignified to ever fall for this whore routine of yours. And you know what else he is? He fucking mine. Now, get your ass out of my spot, and get the fuck away from my boyfriend."
Jessica's eyes widened with every word, and when he was finished, she bolted out of the building, regardless of what her father said. She went straight home, destroyed all of her "fancy" dresses, and ran away to a nunnery in Japan where she lived the rest of her life as Sister Usagi.
Ed, on the other hand, grinned, quite pleased with himself, and perched on the edge of a roaring with laughter Roy's desk where Jessica had been mere moments ago. "So, how was your week while I was away?" he purred, wrapping his arms around the older man's neck and nosing his cheek.
"Miserable," Roy chuckled, pulling him down into his lap. "Yours?"
"Meh. Al and Winry are doing good. Hey, did you know they have another baby on the way? I don't know how they're going to manage with Ally, much less Ally Two."
"They'll figure out a way. Speaking of which, have you thought any more about adoption?"
"You do realize that you're suppose to be married before you talk about having kids, right?"
"You do realize that we're getting married in two month's time, and by the time we even get started on the adoption papers we will be married, Mr. Mustang."
"And who says you won't be Mr. Elric?"
"Well, I asked you, plus I'm seme."
"That has nothing to do with this!"
"Sure it does, Mr. Mustang."
"Fine, whatever. But it's going to be Elric-Mustang. I'm not a fucking girl."
"Whatever you say, Mr. Mustang."
"Stupid Colonel Bastard. Hey, since I quit, that means we can actually tell everyone now, right?"
"I'm pretty sure they already know. Us walking in together in the mornings, and you practically pouncing on me when you get home is kind of a dead giveaway."
"Yeah, but I still wanna formally tell 'em."
"Whatever you say, love."
"That's the second time you've said that."
"What ever you say." Ed laughed, and slapped Roy upside the head, causing him to grin like a love-struck idiot. "Hey, what did Jessica do that pissed you off so much, anyways, other than the obvious?"
"Hmn? Oh, she sat in my spot. No one's allowed to sit on your desk provocatively but me."
"Interesting. You know, you can sit provocatively on my desk now and I won't mind."
"But I thought you had paperwork."
"Yeah, but we need to celebrate you quitting. If you're not my subordinate, then that means we don't have to keep this a secret from those who don't know about it."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning you can scream as loud as you want, and no one can say anything about it."
"Oh, is that a challenge?"
"Think of it more as an invitation."
"Well, then. Let me RSVP."
"Whatever you say, love."
=^w^=
*(dies from the OOC)* Trainer Plot Bunny used Max Revive! *(is revived)* Meh. As I said, not my best work, but it could have been worse. Drop me a review and go see Feli-Chan and wish her happy birthday! She should be on my Author's list, but if she isn't, go here: u/2205251 /X-Feli-Chan-X