I, unfortunately, do not own Burn Notice.
This is just a humorous oneshot. Enjoy!

Fi's Seat

Michael stood by the fridge, opening a bottle of water. Fiona sat nearby, a spoon in one hand, a blueberry yogurt in the other. They were sitting in a comfortable silence, when there was a knock on the door, and Jesse entered. Both Michael and Fi had just drawn their guns, but they relaxed when they saw who it was. Fi was just about to eat a spoonful of yogurt when Jesse started talking.

"Hey, guys. Look, we gotta go; I jut got a call from Sam. Looks like we've got a job."

Michael shot a look at Fi, both of them wondering why Sam had called Jesse and not Michael. They silently agreed that they should get up and go help Sam with whatever he needed, even if he did call Jesse first.

Fiona sighed and looked at her freshly opened yogurt. She hadn't even had a bite yet. Michael heard her sigh and followed her glance, shooting her an apologetic smile.

"How about we stop for frozen yogurt on the way back?" Michael could barely contain his smile when she visibly brightened at that idea. Jesse stood watching this exchange with a look of confusion. They had barely spoken, and yet it seemed like they had an entire conversation.

Jesse got up and headed for the car, Michael and Fi following. However, when they got to the Charger, it was evident there was a problem. Jesse was sitting in the passenger seat.

Fiona stood outside the car, tapping her foot, looking visibly annoyed. She crossed her arms and looked at Michael, who looked a little nervous, but spoke.

"Hey, Jesse?" Jesse turned towards Michael, "That's, uh, Fi's seat."

Jesse looked confused. "What?"

"That's Fiona's seat." This time there was a slight edge in Michael's voice. So slight, that Jesse, who didn't know him that well, missed it. Fi, though, didn't.

Jesse scoffed. "What do you mean this is Fiona's seat?"

Now there was no mistaking the edge in Michael's voice. "I said that's Fiona's seat."

Jesse just looked amused. "I've seen Sam sit here before. What's the big deal?"

"Sam has never sat there when Fi was in the car. If Fiona's here, then the passenger seat is hers." Now Michael was getting annoyed.

"Dude, I got here first. It's just a seat." And now, Jesse was getting annoyed.

"And I thought you were stubborn, Michael," Fiona decided to add.

"And when we're in my car, and I'm driving, that's just Fi's seat."

"So what, just because you're banging her, she gets special treatment?" Jesse knew he'd crossed a line when he saw a flash of something he'd never seen before in Michael's eyes. One second he was sitting in the Charger, and the next he was pressed up against the outside of it, Michael holding him there. He didn't even have time to try and fight back.

Michael spoke in a low voice that was even more frightening than if he had yelled. "First of all, what Fiona and I do or don't do when you're not there is none of your business." Jesse gulped.

"Second, Fiona gets special treatment because she's been there for me when ever I needed her. I can count the number of times you've helped me out on one hand. I'd need both hands and feet to even make a dent in how many times she's helped me out of trouble, saved me from getting shot or blown up, and been there when I just needed someone to talk to. So, no, she does not get special treatment because of our physical relationship, she gets it because she's been my best friend for years."

"Third, this is my car. When you're the one driving, you can decide where people sit."

"And, finally, when you're talking about Fiona, you'll talk about her with respect." The last part was practically snarled by Michael, who saw the fear in Jesse's eyes. "Understood?"

Jesse nodded, and violently shrugged Michael's hands off of him. He glanced at Fiona, who was glaring at him, but also looked slightly amused by their exchange. Jesse scowled and stalked into the backseat of the Charger.

Fiona skipped over to Michael and kissed his cheek. "Thanks for defending my honor, Michael." She smirked and climbed into her seat. Michael shook his head and walked around to the driver's side. He started the car, and they made their way to meet Sam.

When the trio arrived at Carlito's Sam knew something was up. Jesse was sulking, Michael was glaring at Jesse, and Fiona was happily eating a cup of what looked like frozen yogurt.

When Jesse moved to take the seat farthest away from Michael, which coincidentally was the one with the Bloody Mary in front of it, Sam spoke up.

"Hey, Jesse, that's Fi's seat."