Sokka's Dilemma

Sokka had a dilemma. One he really had no idea how to fix. Which was a frustration all on its own. He was the Idea Guy! He was supposed to come up with all the solutions, the brilliant plans! But now, he had nothing. Zilch. Nada.

"Why is this even such a big deal?" Toph asked him.

"How is this not such a big deal?" Sokka replied. And it was. A huge deal. La, his little sister was getting married. To Zuko! Of course it was a big deal!

On one hand, the thought of having a brother, in-law or no, was something Sokka actually looked forward to. Even though they wouldn't be related by blood, there's just this invisible barrier between friends that doesn't exist between brothers.

However, on the much larger hand, Zuko was marrying his baby sister! At first, he was outraged. Who would ever dare touch his sister? Of course, he knew they had been together for years before, seen them do all sorts of horrifying things like kiss, and dance, and—ugh—hold hands. But marriage opened up a whole new level of horrifying imagery. And that was when Sokka began to feel sick. Once the images were in his head, no amount of anything could get them out. It was at this point that Sokka decided that Katara's and Zuko's marriage would just have to be one where they didn't do anything. A reasonable enough request. It sounded a lot better in Sokka's head than when he, ah, demanded that Zuko promise he didn't do anything remotely intimate with his sister. Katara had been pissed.

Which led to where Sokka was now. He had cooled down considerably since that unfavorable event, but that was just to get everyone off his tail. Because now he was plotting. Plotting ways to somehow break up this engagement, lock his sister up in a room, and make sure no boys came near her ever again. A simple enough goal. All he had to do was beat up Zuko, subdue Katara, probably beat up Toph and Aang when they tried to stop him, and avoid any palace guards that probably patrolled the halls. Easy.

And then Sokka actually thought about it and saw where his brilliant plan went wrong. He couldn't beat up Zuko. Or subdue Katara. Or beat Toph and Aang. And he certainly couldn't hide from guards with a subdued Katara he never had a chance of subduing in the first place.

So, Sokka decided to come up with a different plan. And his mind wandered over to Aang. Aang, who had smiled brightly and was the first to give Zuko and Katara his congratulations. Who barely bit back the frown, and forced himself to remain cheery despite his inner feelings. Aang didn't love Katara. Not really. And Sokka knew that. But it was her face he saw smiling down at him when he woke from the ice. A pretty, smiling girl, who went penguin sledding with him, and was with him from the very beginning. Yes, Aang had a very unhealthy crush on the girl two years older than him. But, if Sokka could use that to his advantage…

Only problem was, if the tiny hints of a plan Sokka was beginning to form actually worked, then he'd have to stop worrying about Zuko and have to start worrying about Aang. This was a lose-lose situation no matter what way he looked at it.

So, yes. Sokka had a dilemma. One for the life of him he couldn't solve.

"When do you think he'll snap outta it?" Toph asked as they stood in a wide semi-circle around the shell-shocked Sokka.

"It's been ten minutes," Katara commented with a frown. "Think we should be worried?"

"Nah," Zuko replied. "Just give him a bit longer. He's no longer angry, and he's already asked for something ridiculously outrageous. Now we just have to wait out his plotting until he figures out this is happening."

"How long will that take?" Aang wondered.

"It's Snoozles," Toph answered. "He could be here all day."

Katara sighed. "I told you, we should've eased him into this gently."

"Eh, I think this way is better," Toph disagreed. "Rip off the bandage, so to speak."

"Ripping off a bandage could be unsafe, depending on the injury," Katara told her.

"Whatever."

Sokka suddenly gasped, eyes shooting wide as his brain returned to the land of the living. Slowly, he looked at all of them, although he avoided looking Zuko in the eye.

"You done being a drama queen now?" Katara asked.

"I have conditions," Sokka suddenly blurted out.

"Oh great," Zuko moaned. "We're gonna be here all day."

"I'm being serious," Sokka growled, but he found he still couldn't really look the Fire Lord in the eye. "Number one: no kissing in front of me."

"You've seen us kiss be-"

"NO! Kissing. In front of. Me!" Sokka deadpanned, staring his sister in the eye. "Starting now. If I see you two kiss, then all I'll be able to think of is…" He gulped and shook his head, his gaze hardening. "Number two: Zuko, I get to use your beach house on Ember Island whenever I want."

Zuko shrugged. "Sure. But if Katara and I vacation there while you're there, I'm kicking you out."

"Fine," Sokka huffed. "I don't even want to be there while you two are." He rolled his shoulders and took a deep breath. "Number three: you name your firstborn son after me."

"No," Zuko and Katara said at the same time.

"What? Why not?" Sokka grumbled, taking on a whiny tone.

"Because," Katara said slowly, looking for words, "It'd…be weird!"

"Weird?" Sokka asked uncertainly.

"That's the best you could come up with?" Zuko muttered so only she could here.

"Shut up!" she hissed before turning back to Sokka and saying, "Yes! Because…you're my brother! And if we named our firstborn son after you, it'd…be weird."

"Maybe if you were dead," Zuko added in helpfully.

Sokka huffed. "Fine. Whatever. You're not going to have kids anyway."

"Oh?" Zuko raised an eyebrow.

"That's right." Sokka looked Zuko dead in the eye. "Cause if you touch my sister in any way that could get her pregnant, I will come after you. And I will destroy you. Fire Lord or not."

"Ugh, I thought we got past this already!" Toph groaned. "Snoozles, you're being really selfish right now."

"What?" Sokka spluttered.

"Yeah!" Toph growled. "What you don't get is that Zuko loves Katara, and Katara loves Zuko. So you need to shut up, quite your whining, and be happy for them. Don't you get it? Your sister is getting married. Be happy for her!"

Silence.

"Wow," Aang mused to Toph. "Didn't know you could be so-"

"Shut it Twinkletoes," Toph growled. She turned back to Sokka and grumbled, "Well?"

"Well…" Sokka sighed and turned to look at Zuko. "You love her?" he asked.

"I do," the Fire Lord replied without hesitation.

Sokka shifted to look at his sister and said, "And you love him?"

Katara smiled. "I really do."

Sokka heaved a deep sigh. "Then…I'm happy for you two." He managed a meek smile.

Katara's face split into a grin. "Oh Sokka, thank you!" she cried, enveloping him in a huge hug. She pulled back, to see a concerning glint in his eye.

"Alright!" Sokka declared, jumping up and rubbing his hands together. "Where's Gran-Gran? Let's get this wedding planned!" He marched out, a determined look on his face.

"Um…"

"Pardon me, good sir!" Sokka called from the hall, probably to the guard. "Fetch my grandmother, if you would? I have much to discuss with her!"

"Uh…"

"To the planning chambers!"

"…"

"What just happened?" Aang muttered, looking a little bewildered.

"Sokka's gonna plan our wedding," Zuko murmured, looking horrified. "I'm going to get married in Water Tribe blue, with a boomerang on my back."

"The reception feast is going to consist of fire flakes and seal jerky," Katara added, looking equally horrified. Her eyes slowly slid up to look at Zuko. "We need to stop him."

"I may already be too late," he muttered, real fear in his eyes.

"We have to try." Katara's eyes narrowed as she gazed at the still open door, where Sokka had disappeared. "We have no choice," she concluded, taking a deep breath. "For the future of…well, who knows what he could do with so much power. We must be swift." And then she was off, racing out the door and down the hall, screaming after Sokka for all it was worth.

Toph chuckled. "I can't wait for this wedding."