Ambitious
Disclaimers: Kingdom Hearts and the rest of the amazing franchise © Disney and Square Enix; everything else © their rightful owners.
A/N: I apologize because I haven't updated on my other projects in a while. I've run into a few obstacles that have kept me from seriously sitting down and processing my thoughts. Now, I'm not asking for any pity, I'm just explaining why it is taking so long for me to spit out updates. My mom and aunt's childhood friend, whom I know quite well, had two sons.
The oldest of them committed suicide sometime between last Thursday night and Friday morning. I've kind of been in a whirlwind, off and weird and disconnected from everything.
I feel rather lousy, turning my back on my other stories and chucking out this drabble, but it's Father's Day, so I thought I should do something for it.
Father's Day has a lot of different meanings for each different person because of how they view their fathers. I'm definitely not commenting on mine.
Now, everyone knows I'm not claiming my perspectives on Sora and Riku's fathers are true, but this is just my idea of it all. Not everyone's lives are perfect.
Enjoy, and I'll be back to Noster Nostri/Sixteen Candles in no time at all.
Ambitious: A Drabble
There he was—on their island bluff. God, that kid was pissing him off! Sora's lip jutted further into his vicious pout and he had to run to ensure he did not start stomping around like a five-year-old. He was eleven for pity's sake, and he'd had enough of Riku's bad attitude today, rubbing his immaturity in his face. Little tan fists balled up and clenching with his temper, the brunette skittered up the sand, pounding across the bridge like the devil himself.
"Riku," he demanded attention, "what is your problem?!"
"I'm not going home yet."
"Well, duh! But I'm asking, why are you acting so mean to me and Kairi?"
"I haven't been mean to Kairi. It's mostly been you."
Sora sniffed daintily, recoiling if just a few inches with a rather hurt frown on his face. He'd noticed that; Riku didn't have to go pointing it out. It just made him feel as though Riku hated him for some reason. Why was he favoring Kairi all of a sudden? Wasn't he the one who had always wrestled Sora to the ground and insisted in a growl that he never hang out with her alone?
"Why...?" Sora prodded, slouching down at the mouth of the dilapidated bridge. His knuckles relaxed a bit, but the injured scowl still twisted across his visage in a rather profound fashion. He was a deep kid; he understood that the world was not always bubblegum and paopu and Chocobo chics. He knew that Riku had reasons for everything he did, and Sora tried his best to be the same—but despite the poignant things swirling in his chest, he was still too immature to grasp it all completely, and that left him rather handicapped in the way of pursuing those oblong notions. And he was aware of it, which was the most annoying part.
"Because," Riku offered blandly. He always expected that answer to be sufficient. Well, not today. Today Sora was going to get it out of him, whether Riku liked it or not.
"Tell me why!" Sora barked, and his voice squeaked ever so faintly as he flung himself at the older boy, who was comfortably seated on the edge of the bluff with his legs dangling over the sandy side, toes of his shoes pointing safely down to the ocean that licked at the jut of land. The brunette's tan little arms hooked around Riku's neck and tugged him backwards; the older kid choked out a yelp, aquamarine eyes widening as he scrabbled for something to grab onto, fingers searching the air fruitlessly.
"Sora—Sora, cut that out—"
"No! Not until you tell me why you hate me, Riku. There better be a good reason or I'm going to shove you off this bluff and into the water."
"—stupid—idiot—rrgh—" Riku lifted his hands, grasping the thin forearms draped around his collarbone. Sora had a chokehold on him from behind, rolling in the sand as Riku struggled to remove his arms.
Which he, when focusing on it, quite easily did.
And the argentine-haired boy promptly rolled over and locked the younger into his own routine chokehold, breath puffing into the delicate ear hidden in shocks layered hair and his knee pinning the brunette down at his tailbone.
"Not fair!" Sora howled into the dirt, grimacing in defeat. "Not fair, not fair, not—"
"You've been acting like a baby lately."
"—fair, not...what?"
"You've just been...making me mad today."
"But what have I done?"
"You're just annoying me today, stupid."
"I...I'm sorry, Riku. I'll try not to be so annoying."
"You don't mean that apology. You're making a funny face and you were being sarcastic."
"You caught me."
The brat flailed lightly as Riku released him and hastily moved away, scooting back to his seat on the edge of the bluff and crossing his arms as he peered out into the sunset. Kairi had long before gone home, leaving the two boys on their island to do what they did best—dawdle. They'd marched along the beach, examining shells and plants and stones, and that was when Riku disappeared. Sora had brought up the topic of Chocobo chics again, and he turned around and Riku was gone.
The brunette cautiously eased up next to his friend, leaning back on his outstretched arms and swinging his legs idly.
"Don't do that."
"Unh—why, Riku?"
"You're kicking up dirt."
"Sorry."
"Let's...let's fight."
"...Hunh?"
"Swords. Let's fight."
"I'm tired, though! We've been running around all day, and it was extra hot out—"
"First one to get his sword gets to attack first."
"Ah—hunh?! Riku! RIKU—you're already running! Not fair, not fair, not fair!"
But it was when Riku had Sora on the ground, the victor of the play-pretend match, pointing his wooden sword down at Sora's lopsided pout and messy tawny hair that he cracked. He gawked into those pleading blue eyes and he trembled, his fingers falling limp and his sword falling to the sand with a dead fwump.
Sora froze, peering up at his friend with a troubled frown, and then slowly climbed to his knees as he reached out to touch the loose fist that had just been holding a make-believe weapon. "Riku...? Are you okay? Did you get a splinter?"
"Does it look like I got a splinter, idiot?!"
Sora stared, eyes wide, because yes, it actually did look as though Riku had gotten a splinter and he wasn't aware of anything else that could bother the brave older boy so much that he'd pinch his face up like that. Unless he was about to cry, but he'd only seen Riku cry twice in the past eight years—
"Riku, are you going to cry?"
Pale little knuckles cracked into the brunette's jaw and then whipped back in recoil as Sora cried out, "No, don't—" and clutched at his head for protection; Riku hugged his fist to his chest with panicked, widening optics, and as the younger friend huddled down, crouched on his knees and waiting for Riku to calm himself, the twelve-year-old's breathing quickened in frantic shame.
Silent, he kicked his sword away and took off across the beach for that damn island bluff again, lithe arms pumping, leaving the other boy hunched on the sand to cover his head in fear.
He was still silent when Sora slowly approached him on the bridge again, once his jaw had stopped hurting; the sun was almost gone but still sent a warm glow across the sea and the play island. He remained silent even as Sora plopped down next to him, scooted closer in vindication, and then leaned his sloppy brown head on his shoulder to prove that forgiveness true. Somewhere in the forest behind them that seemed like a jungle to junior explorers, a bird twittered. And then:
"I don't want to be like that."
Sora was silent this time, letting Riku talk. He gaped out at the ocean, lashes lowered on his clouded blue eyes, and that something inside him he was too young to fully understand told him to just let Riku talk. Riku needed to let it out, whatever it was that was coming.
"I don't want to hit someone close to me without it being playful."
Someone close to me.
"I don't want...anyone to be afraid of me because I'll hit them if I get mad."
Riku, are you going to cry?...SLAP.
"Sora, you're lucky."
"W-what? Why?" Sora straightened up, brows furrowing as he looked desperately to his friend for some kind of explanation. But Riku was looking out at the ocean again, avoiding eye contact with the brunette.
"Your dad is gone."
His stomach sank. His expression curdled and his fingertips tightened on the cloth of Riku's shirt. "How...does that make me lucky?" He could feel all his light-hearted stupidity slowly fading away until all that was left at the moment was that adult-like something inside him, something that understood halfway but had so much to learn.
"Because I think it would be better if my dad were gone. Sometimes I wish he'd copy your dad, and just get on a boat and sail away."
"But my dad never did that...No, he..."
"You didn't know that, Sora? Everyone knows that about your dad. He wasn't ready for a baby so he decided to become a sailor and he just sailed away and never came back." Even as he spoke, Riku knew he needed to stop, but he could not. That sadistic hostility within him that longed to spite would not let him shut up. So he watched as the cruel words poured out, scathing he knew, and watched as Sora's eyes shimmered in agony and tears weighed on his dark lashes, because he really hadn't known what his father had done.
"No, my dad...died, he..."
"Sailed away."
"He didn't want me?"
"It's better if he didn't stay, Sora."
"He didn't want me."
"Everyone wants you, Sora," Riku quickly tried to mend his awkward yet intentional blunder, frowning sharply. "We all love you and he's a dumb asshole who missed out on a great son because he was too chicken to be a dad yet."
"But why am I lucky that he's gone?"
"I...don't want to talk about this anymore."
"No, Riku—please explain. I don't get it."
"You don't get a lot of things, Sora. Idiot. Didn't even know about your own—"
Sora snatched up Riku's face, his soft palms smashed against Riku's opalescent cheeks. Nose to nose with the other boy and forcing him to lock gazes, the brunette's brows furrowed further and he pleaded, "Tell me. I'll never be able to understand if you don't tell me."
Riku pushed him away, crossing his arms again and flicking his sea-green glare down to the gently moving water just eight feet below. His eyes followed a silvery fish flitting along beneath the surface, and then a whole school of them, and he frowned more bitterly before he opted to speak again: "My dad wants me to be the best at everything. I guess that's why I'm always trying to beat you at things. To prove that I am the best."
To prove that I am the best.
"I'm good at sports, I'm good at school, I can do housework okay, I guess, and I beat you at everything. I always have to be the best. If I'm not the best at something, I'm worthless to my dad."
If I'm not the best at something, I'm worthless to my dad.
"Sometimes my dad gets mad about things and he'll yell with my mom. They'll fight. He wins because he's the best at everything and that's how he wants it."
The best.
"I don't want to be the best at everything if it means I'll end up hurting you like my dad hurts my mom."
Sora gawked, at first because he was being compared to Riku's mother and then because the message clicked inside his flustered mind, and his mouth fell gently slack. His heart was pounding and he knew not why. The intensity of Riku's miserably guilty irises made shivers zip up and down his slender back. Letting go of Riku's shirt, he grabbed onto his hand and held it tightly; Riku didn't protest, nor pull away. "I...won't let that happen, Riku."
"Hnm?"
"I won't let you hurt me."
"But—Sora—I just—"
"Won a sword fight."
Riku peered at him, incredulous, before he shook his head and looked out at the darkening sky. But a faint smile tugged weakly at the corner of his mouth, and he shrugged limply, clapping his free hand down atop Sora's, sandwiching his other between all three. "Promise me that you won't let me be like my dad. Power hungry, and all."
"I promise. Now you promise me something."
"No, I'm not going to buy you candy."
"No, no, no." Sora cocked his head back and laughed, a smooth sound that made Riku's stomach knot up even as his smile broadened.
"Riku, I promise to make sure you never get power-hungry like your dad, if you promise me you'll never leave me like my dad."
"What if I forget?"
"If you get power-hungry and hurt me, I'll snap you out of it and after you apologize, I'll kick your butt. If you leave, then I'll go find you. And then I'll kick your butt some more."
"Alright, then. It's a promise."
-
OWARI.
Happy Father's Day to everyone.