Napstablook rarely ever left their house.
And when they did, they only did in order to escape the the ruins, favoring its emptiness over the occasional passerby in Waterfall. But this day was a break from the dorm. The desolate ghost needed someone to talk to, an ear to listen.
They knew exactly where to go.
Napstablook rarely ever simply floated around Waterfall for the fun of it. Whenever they tried, they could swear the other monsters were staring at them, thinking to themselves, 'What a pathetic ghost.' But whenever they mustered up the nerve to have a pleasant, wandering float-around, they never forgot what they saw.
they ended up at the large, bright blue flower before they could even consider turning back and going home, lying down on the floor and wallowing in their solitary misery, like always. But they couldn't lie to themselves. Their ghostly soul was heavy with the sheer burden of what had happened, it was too overwhelming for them to handle on their own.
Clutching the bright pink diary they had brought, Napstablook floated up to the opening of the echo flower, their ghostly frame trembling with anxiety, What if someone listened and laughed at what they said? Or worse, what if they were recognized? They would be known throughout Waterfall as "Napstablook, the pathetic crybaby ghost." They smiled to themselves, although the smile was devoid of any joy. As if what weren't true. If they were known as the pathetic ghost, it would be nothing short of accurate.
It would still burn, though.
Taking a deep breath, Napstablook opened their mouth, and the ghost began to speak.
"Um… hello…" they started out uncertainly. "I'm N- uh, it doesn't matter, um… I… need to j-just… get this off my… my chest…" They clutched the diary closer, having a death grip on it, as if they believed that the owner of the diary would reappear if they clutched it tight enough. The words written inside replayed over and over in Napstablook's head.
"Come on, Blooky, you know I'd never leave you behind."
Bullshit.
Hot tears welled up in Napstablook's eyes as they recalled what they witnessed happen. How they would've been powerless to stop it, no matter what they did, if they even did anything instead of sitting and staring in shock, the tears cascading down their face as they saw…
The tears were coming full-force now, it was time for them to confront what had happened, once and for all.
"S… something h-happened to my… my d-dear cousin…" they managed to choke out. "He said… that he w-would never leave me, but… b-but…" They would've buried their face in the diary they clutched, for comfort, in only their tears weren't composed of acid.
"We… he w-was all I h-had… I thought we w-would be happy, working on the snail f-farm together…" Visions of a better future popped in Napstablook's mind, one where the happier ghost remained in Waterfall, with Napstablook. He would've been unhappy, they knew, but he wouldn't be…
He'd still be with them.
The tears were still streaming down, the event that crushed the little ghost's soul replaying over and over in their head. That sudden, inevitable moment. The reassuring words the star tried to pass off as truth. The way he was smiling as he…
As he…
Napstablook shuddered and sobbed, looking up at the opening of the flower. They had to say it, they had to come to terms with what happened, and this was the first step in doing so.
"B-but that can never happen, because…"
'Say it, just say it,' they told themselves. 'You have to.'
"B-because…"
They drew in a shaky breath, exhaling slowly and trembling.
"Because… h-he's dead…"
It was like a weight was lifted off their shoulders, only to be replaced with an even bigger weight, nausea overcoming them as the scene replayed once more. That human, fighting their cousin. Their dear cousin Mettaton, who would never intentionally bring harm to anyone. How that human beat him relentlessly, even after his limbs fell off, they persisted, until he could fight no more, his last words delivered with a smile. Napstablook remembered the hope they had that Mettaton would hold out, that he would beat the human. They remembered that hope slowly disappearing with every tense second. They remembered screaming when they saw hm cease attacking, the tears coming in rivers as the knowledge of what was happening crushed their very soul. They remembered the way his voice trembled as he spoke his last words, trying to be optimistic and reassuring even in his last moments. The diary, one of the few things Napstablook still had to remember him by, fell from their grip as they grasped the large petals of the echo flower and cried bitter tears for what seemed like hours. They looked up at the flower after their long crying spell had mostly subdued, and continued.
"I s-saw it…" they choked out, determined to say what they needed to say, once and for all. "It was on TV… I n-never said goodbye t-to him… h-he left in the middle of the-" They paused, sobs overtaking them for a moment, remembering how they awoke one day to find their cousin gone, one final diary sitting in the middle of his bed, "-middle of the n-night… and… I c-came here to s-say it…"
There was no real funeral, Alphys had been too brokenhearted to arrange one. A gathering of Mettaton's few dozen fans had come together to do what Napstablook suspected was simply being sad together. Even if they wanted to, and they did want to, they couldn't say goodbye. But, maybe, if they said their farewell into the echo flower, Mettaton would hear it from wherever he was now. They tried to seem as composed as possible; they needed to make this count.
"Mettaton… I r-really miss you, and… a-and…. d-don't worry about how I w-was when y-you left, I… I really liked w-watching you on TV… s-seeing you happy… a-awaiting the t-time for your sh-shows… I r-really liked… seeing all that…"
"I… I hope it didn't h-hurt too much, wh-when you… y-you know… I j-just… wanted t-to say goodbye… I-I'm not… d-doing this again, y-you're gone, you w-won;t be able to h-hear me…"
"I'm n-not mad at you… for leaving… I g-get it…. that w-was your dream… I'm r-really happy y-you got t-to see it c-come true… even f-for a little b-bit… y-you were really good…. your f-fans are really broken u-up, you kn-know…. a-and I heard your f-friend didn't t-take it very well… um… I m-might go and talk to her… maybe…. I kn-know she was important to you…."
"I guess…. this is it… I know y-you're not really listening… because you c-can't… but… goodbye… Mettaton…. I'll miss you…."
"Sorry… I rambled again…."
Napstablook floated there, staring at the flower which now held his tearful goodbye. Now that it was all out, they felt… numb. But not as burdened as before. In fact, they were actually… happy, in a strange way. They were glad that their cousin had the chance to make something of his life, to achieve his dream, even if that meant his becoming fully corporeal, making him able to be killed by that human.
The ghost sighed wearily. The human had seemed so nice. They thought that the human could be their friend. Their stomach churned as they recalled inviting that murderer into their house. People like that didn't deserve Napstablook's hospitality.
And yet, as they picked up the diary that had fallen from their grasp ,and begun to float back home, they couldn't bring themselves to hate the human. Some people would say the human should be burning in Hell for what they did. Napstablook was not one of those people. They were too burdened with grief to hate.
When they met the human, they found themselves yearning for their company. Now, because of that same human, they wanted to be left alone, leaving the weight of their troubles of loneliness and murdered cousins on the shoulders of whichever poor soul listened to the repeated words of mourning.
~o~o~o~o~o~
Also on AO3, reviews are appreciated, all that stuff.