"It's times like this I wish we could just go to a bar and get a drink," Ellie said, sipping soda. Marco smiled at her, blew on his coffee and sipped it.
"We can get a drink if you really want one," he said.
"I do. I want one," They were sitting at the Dot. The wedding gig had been nearly a week ago.
"So tell me," Ellie said, her eyes peering into his. He blinked and squirmed under her stare.
"He kissed Manny,"
She knew. She knew in her heart and her mind that he had chosen Manny. She knew when he gave her that friend speech at the wedding, when he'd looked so uncomfortable at the Dot when Jimmy and Marco so conveniently left them alone.
"Say it again," she said, head down. The news was like water on cement. It had a hard time sinking in.
"He kissed Manny,"
Why did she love Craig? She didn't know. The way his hair curled. The texture of his voice. The way he looked at her sometimes and made her feel like she was the only one who mattered. But it hadn't been true. Manny mattered, too.
She moved her soda aside and laid her head down on the table, her red hair fanning out around her head.
"I want to die," she said, her voice soft under her hair.
"No," Marco said.
"I do," She picked her head up, her cheeks flushed nearly as red as her hair, "I do. He loves Manny and I love him and this is just stupid,"
"It isn't stupid," Marco said, "it's how you feel,"
Marco. So patient. So understanding. She would be lost without Marco. Just lost in the sauce.
"He's a vampire, Marco. He takes and takes and he never gives, not one inch. I'm sucked dry,"
Marco sipped his coffee.
"Maybe, uh…" Marco tried.
"No. No maybe. I loved him, I love him and he…he won't give me anything in return,"
"Maybe it isn't as simple as that," Marco said.
"What do you mean?" she said, and she looked out the window. She could see the sunlight on the sidewalk, the leaves moving on the trees. The universe continued to breathe, not caring that she felt hollow.
"I mean, Ellie, when did you start liking him? It was when he started going to your group, and you found out all those things about him. You found out that his mother left, that she died, and how he felt. How he missed her so much he couldn't speak, and he'd go to her grave when he was 12 and just stare at her name on the stone. You found out that his father beat him, and how he felt like nothing and worthless, and how he had to hide all those bruises all the time. You found out that before he was hospitalized for bipolar he had hit Joey and feared that he was just like his father. You found out about all his guilt, his low self esteem, how he felt out of control so much of the time. You found out he was broken. Maybe that's what you were in love with. Maybe you thought he was as broken as you were. And maybe he didn't like that,"