I'm Too Sexy
By ~*The Almighty Nelly*~
A/N: I got this idea when I was listening to one of my mom's CD's entitled Ultra Mix: Dance Hits of the 80's and 90's. This is a Kris/Akari songfic, to the tune of "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred. I'm sorry but I love the song, and it reminded me of them while I was listening to it! I don't own them or the song, just the idea.
Oh, and just so you know, I haven't seen the entire series yet. I've seen the first four volumes of the TV series, and the 6th, and the OAV's. Akari and Kris make a cute pair to me, and this is my first BAV ficcie. Enjoy! ^_^
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
All was virtually quiet at the University Satellite. Almost time for lights out, a young girl could be seen running down the hall on all fours, being chased by a tall blonde.
"TANYA!!!" the blonde screamed, blue eyes sparkling dangerously. "Get back here!"
"No!" the child-like voice of the animal dasher called back, a trademark giggle escaping her mouth.
"Give it back Tanya!"
"No!" she said again, turning her head slightly, revealing a picture hanging between her cat-like teeth. "Jessie, cruel!" she said again.
Growling, Jessie increased her pace, breaking out into an all-out sprint. Tanya, laughing, rushed off, ducking into their room and locking Jessie out. Banging on the door, Jessie yelled at her while she was rewarded with more laughter from the cat-like Tanya.
"Mou…" Jessie sighed, sitting down outside the hall. "Why did she have to find THAT picture…?" sighing again, Jessie leaned her head back against the wall, eyes staring up at the ceiling, the person in the picture becoming envisioned before her inner eye.
"My rival…" she whispered. "Rival…"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In dorm room 007, Kris sighed as she relaxed in the bathtub. "The Great Competition…" she sighed to herself, blue eyes softening. "We'll make it there for sure…" smiling, Kris began washing herself off.
Elsewhere in the dorm room, Anna and Akari were quietly discussing.
"Anna-chan…" Akari sighed, "Please understand, Kris is NOT my lover…" another sigh escaped her lips. When she and Kris had first met, she had (literally) crashed into her. Their ship had been hijacked by a group of terrorists, and of course they decided to exploit her as the daughter of Tomoe Midou. "Sometimes I wish things didn't turn out the way they are…" Akari thought.
"It's all right Kanzaki-san," Anna replied, smiling, "It doesn't matter to me, really."
Another sigh escaped Akari's lips, her red eyes unconsciously wandering towards the closed bathroom door. "I know, Anna-chan… it's just that…" Akari sighed, her ruby eyes shutting briefly.
"Is something wrong Kanzaki-san?" Anna asked, curiously looked upon her obviously distraught companion.
"Eleven in a row…" she sighed, her eyes shimmering, "Sometimes I wonder WHY she says we tried our best…"
"What do you mean? Are you talking about Christopher-san?" Anna asked again, utterly confused.
"Yeah… I mean, how can Kris be so calm about everything?" Akari asked herself, glancing towards the bathroom door as it opened.
"How can who be so calm about everything?" Kris asked, oblivious about the discussion that went on while she cleaned herself up.
"Y-" Akari stopped before the words even left her mouth. Kris stood there, virtually nude. Only two small towels covered her. "K-KRIS!!!" she shrieked.
"Nani?" she asked, looking to the two stunned girls.
"Christopher-san!" Anna gasped, covering her face with her hands.
"Kris!" Akari blushed, catching herself from admiring the expanse of taut muscle under smooth skin, "Onegai, put on some clothes! It's embarrassing!"
"I'm not embarrassed" Kris replied, cocking her head slightly.
"WE'RE embarrassed!" Akari yelled back. Shrugging, Kris walked off towards her part of the dorm room. Sighing Akari, relaxed again, ruby eyes blinking.
"Moo…" came the all-knowing voice of Gyubei, Kris' cow.
"Why do these things always happen?" Akari asked, sighing again. She seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. She looked up as she heard music suddenly being played. "What the…?"
Anna looked up too, confusion written all over her face. Suddenly she got up, walking towards the door.
"Matte, Anna-chan!" Akari called. "Where are you going?"
"Oh, I just need some fresh air" she replied, "Wanna come with me Gyubei?" she asked the cow, who "moo" ed in response, walking out of the door with Anna.
Akari swallowed as she realized something.
She was alone…
…………… with Kris.
"Huh? Where's Gyubei and Anna?" Kris asked, music still playing in the background. Akari sighed in relief when she saw Kris in her normal clothes.
"They went for a walk" Akari replied.
"Oh" was all Kris said. Akari looked at Kris when she didn't say anything else after a few moments.
"Kris?" she asked hesitantly.
"Shh…" Kris replied, smiling as a song came up. "I love this song!" she smiled, running up the stairs, restarting it, and turning up the volume.
"What song is it?" Akari asked, smiling at Kris. "Okay… maybe being alone with her isn't so bad…" she thought, inwardly sighing with relief.
"It's called 'I'm Too Sexy' by a guy who calls himself 'Right Said Fred'" Kris replied, coming back down the stairs. Standing in front of Akari, she held out her hand, smiling. "Would you care to dance?" she asked politely.
"Umm… sure Kris…" Akari said, uncertainty written all over her face and voice.
I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love Love's going to leave me
Kris smiled again, pulling Akari into her arms.
I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirtSo sexy it hurts
Akari and Kris slowly started to sway to the music, keeping in time with the beat.
And I'm too sexy for Milan, too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan
Sighing Akari relaxed in Kris' arms, much to the taller girl's enjoyment.
And I'm too sexy for your party, too sexy for your party
No way I'm disco dancing
Grinning, Kris gently grabbed one of Akari's arms, spinning her out.
I'm a model, you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk
Akari laughed, smiling again at Kris as she spun her back into her arms.
I'm too sexy for my car, too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far
And I'm too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat, what d'you think about that
The pace of their dance picked up as they began to move about the room. Kris sang along to the song, her eyes always locked with Akari's, her higher pitched voice mingling with the deeper singer's.
I'm a model, you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk
Grinning, Kris backed away from Akari during the music interlude, and sang along to the song again.
"I'm too sexy for my, too sexy for my, too sexy for my" she sang, striking three different poses and making Akari laugh again. Akari joined Kris in singing the chorus, spinning around the room with the tall bluenette.
'Cause I'm a model, you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah, on the catwalk, yeah, on the catwalk, yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk
Grinning, Kris backed away from Akari again, this time, doing the infamous model walk. Walking up to Akari, she pulled her close, whispering the words into her ear…
"I'm too sexy for my cat, too sexy for my cat
Poor pussy, poor pussy cat
I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me"
Pulling back and looking her in the eyes, Kris spoke normally.
"And I'm too sexy for this song"
Giggling, Akari smiled at Kris.
"Feeling better?" the taller girl asked.
"Hai… arigato Kris" she smiled. "Ano… when was that song made by the way?"
"A very long time ago." Kris replied, smiling again. "A few thousand years to be exact."
"Honto?"
"Honto. Somebody had done a remix of it during this century, but I like the old version a lot better" Kris smiled, releasing the smaller girl. A comfortable silence passed between them.
"Kris…" Akari started, locking Kris' gaze with her own.
"Akari…" Kris whispered, her eyes softening again. Smiling Kris took a step towards the smaller girl and wrapped her arms around her. "Don't worry, we WILL win tomorrow. The spirits tell me so!" Kris grinned and Akari giggled again.
"Oh Kris…" Akari sighed, burying her face into a strong shoulder, "I hope you're right…"
"Don't worry. Everything will be fine, you'll see" Kris whispered assuring the smaller girl, "I'm confident that we'll win tomorrow." Gently grasping the chin on her shoulder, Kris locked her eyes with Akari's again, smiling. Leaning forward, Kris kissed Akari on the cheek and rubbed their cheeks again. "If you're confident in yourself, everything will be fine" she whispered, hugging Akari once more.
Blushing, Akari hugged Kris back.
"If you're confident in yourself… everything will be fine…" Akari thought, snuggling closer to a soft muscular body, much to Kris' surprise. "…Everything will be fine…"
"Kris…" Akari thought, slowly drifting off to sleep in the strong arms of her teammate, "Arigato…"
"Everything will be fine… as long as you're with me…" was Akari's last thought as she fell asleep. Unknown to her, she had whispered it outloud. Kris smiled once more, kissing Akari on the forehead and carrying her to bed. Unknown to the girls, their teammate and friend Anna looked on from the doorway. A knowing smile graced the innocent face. "I knew she loved her…" she whispered her companion, Gyubei the cow. A moo was her only response. Giggling, Anna entered the room, Gyubei in tow.
All was peaceful in dorm room 007. The three companions and friends slept peacefully, and had dreams of victory for their next match.
Gyubei smiled. Yes everything would be just fine now, even she was sure of it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Jessie awoke from her slumber as she heard a door open. Looking up, she saw Tanya smiling at her.
"Jessie, cruel!" she whispered jokingly, handing the picture to her.
"Tanya cruel you mean…" Jessie muttered, getting up from her spot on the floor. Looking into the tearful eyes of the shorter girl, Jessie sighed, closing her tired eyes.
"Gomen Tanya…" she said, and her companion laughed, jumping on her.
"It's okay!" Tanya smiled, hanging onto Jessie's neck as she looked at the picture in the blonde's hand. "I thought Jessie said she wasn't gay?" Tanya asked confused. Looking over to the other girl, Jessie laughed softly.
"I'm not, Tanya. Why would you think otherwise?" she asked.
"Because of the look on your face when you looked at her picture" was the automatic, blunt reply.
"Well I'm not, okay?" Jessie replied.
"Coulda fooled me…" muttered Tanya.
"Anybody can fool you Tanya" was the grumpy retort.
"Why do you have her picture anyway?" The question was asked out of pure curiosity.
"Datte…" Jessie trailed, "Datte… she is my rival…"
A trademark Tanya giggle was her only response.
"Uh huh… rival…"
"And what's THAT supposed to mean!?" Jessie countered, eyes aflame with rage.
"Tanya knows the REAL reason!" a giggle and footsteps. Jessie followed Tanya into their dorm room, her eyes narrowed.
"Oh? And why is that?" she feared that Tanya would be correct in saying why she had the picture.
"Datte…" Tanya trailed, "… Jessie and Ayla are friends!" a large grin spread across Tanya's face. Jessie was stunned to silence for a moment. Then she smiled.
"Yeah… you're right Tanya. Ayla and I ARE friends…" yawning Jessie turned towards her own room. Another yawn escaped her lips as she trudged up the stairs. "Goodnight Tanya" she said.
In the darkness, cat-like eyes glowed as bright as the feline teeth.
"Jessie loves Ayla…" was the silent laugh as Tanya trotted out to find a nice spot to sleep. "And Ayla loves Jessie too…" she yawned as she fell asleep on the stairs.
Yes, everything would be fine. Tanya smiled. She was sure of it.
THE END!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: Damn, that was sappy! Okay, okay, before people start flaming me. I KNOW JESSIE SAID SHE WASN'T GAY! But… there's the question on how she can be so sure. I mean, she could be saying that to keep her fan club off her tail, when in reality she's in love with our favorite Russian. That's only my opinion anyway. To all you Ichino/Akari lovers don't even start with me! I mean, if you loved them being together so much, why don't YOU go and write a fic on them? If you beg me enough, I might, but I really doubt it. Oh, and about Tanya… she seems to be smarter than she acts to me. And besides, you can blame her knowing about the supposed Alya/Jessie relationship on her animal instincts.
Vocabulary time!
Mou= Jessie's little noise from episode 4, when Tanya got her with the paint
Arigato= Thank you
Gomen= Sorry
Datte= Because
I might make a sequel to this after I see the rest of the series, but I'm not sure if I should. If you want a sequel to this, review please! I wanna write more BA fics, due to the lack of them on FF.net… anybody know a good place to find them? E-mail me at Mishiro4Eva@netscape.net if you do!
~*The Almighty Nelly*~