White Flag

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Mark Schwahn and the CW. I own none of them. No copyright infringement intended.

Spoilers: The story picks up after Season 5. I will also incorporate into this story the 4 four letters I wrote for my last fic, 86 letters, but you don't need to have read it before starting this one :-)

Summary: How Lucas will realize that he is the guy for Brooke Davis, through his failed attempt to reconcile things with Peyton and after finding four more letters Brooke wrote after letting him go. This is will eventually be Brucas, but you'll also find some Naley, Leyton, Browen, and Jeyton. And lots of Jamie too, because that kid owns my heart!

Author's note: To all of you that have read 86 Letters, this is the story I promised in which Lucas will find those 4 letters and confront Brooke about them. This won't be a simple one/two-shots because before Lucas comes to his sense as to who he really wants to be with, I want him to realize why it can't work with Peyton. And I wanted this to be as realistic as possible, so I'll try to integrate most of the characters. The letters won't come up before a few chapters, but I promise Lucas will find them in due time. Oh, and it's my first time writing anything but Brucas, so please be indulgent. I hope to do justice to all the characters, and to English, because it is not my first language.

Chapter 1: Brave New World

Into the brave new world,

I hope I see you on the other side of this changing world.

Baby when my ship pulls in,

I try to believe in anyone, look at the state I'm in…

But for now

I'm just sitting at the table

Hearing songs, wishing I was able

Stable,

Na na na na naranana

I hope I see you on the other side

Na na na na naranana

I hope I see you on the other side…

(Don't keep me waiting)

Brooke sighed as she closed the door of her c/b store behind her. The streets of Tree Hill were empty and void of all emotion at this hour of the night and she couldn't help but think that it matched her mood perfectly.

She dropped her car keys on the counter and slowly took a look around. She remembered feeling so excited about opening this store, about moving back home, about starting her fashion line. It all seemed like a lifetime ago now. Tonight she felt like she would never feel that way again – happy. Happiness had boarded on a plane a few hours ago. Happiness had demanded to be called Victoria instead of Mom. Happiness was destined to be together with Peyton Sawyer.

She reached for the light switch but changed her mind when she realized how bright the lights would actually be. She couldn't handle them right now. Instead she walked to the back of the store, intending to grab a bottle of water from the mini-fridge. She had cried so much today that she felt like all water had left her body. She wished her heart had left too, so she wouldn't feel so lost.

A big delivery box was sitting in the middle of the room and Brooke immediately grabbed a pair of scissors and proceeded to open the package. Anything that could keep her mind off of Angie was a relief, and receiving her new fabulous designs was definitely a welcome distraction, she thought with a smile.

But her smile fell as soon as she reached the first piece of clothing from the box. Of course. It had to be tonight.

Back when Angie was still there, she had been designing her new clothing line for Macy, and a few of the designs she had pitched were baby clothes; cute, adorable baby clothes. She had drawn those sketches because Angie had affected her life in the best way possible and she wanted to communicate that through what she did best – designing clothes. All the sketches had come to life and were now sitting right in of her, in that box. But Angie was gone.

With tears in her eyes, she closed the box. It was no good dwelling on the pain – she'd cried enough today. She would open the box again tomorrow, when it was more bearable. Tonight she just couldn't handle it, just like she couldn't handle being at home alone without Angie. After she had gotten the call informing her that Angie had arrived home safely, she had to get out of there. She had driven around town for a little while before stopping at the beach. She wanted to sit in the sand and lose herself in the immensity of the ocean. She wanted to hear the waves crash on the beach instead of Angie's cries echoing in her ears.

But the wind was blowing tonight, and while it had seemed like a good idea at first, sitting there with sand in her eyes and with her hair blowing in her face was less than romantic.

So she had ended up here. It seemed like every time something went wrong in her life, she turned to her fashion line. People sometimes saw it as frivolous, meaningless even, but it was so much more to her. It was her haven – the place where nothing could touch her. Her store represented that feeling to some extent, which is why she had come here tonight. She wanted to feel like everything was going to be okay again. She needed to feel that way.

Brooke grabbed a bottle from the fridge and took a few sips as she walked back in the store and sat on the couch. She felt lonely. No matter how much she had told herself that Angie was going to leave, no matter how hard she had tried not to get too attached, she had failed. She loved this little girl like her own daughter. And she was going to miss her so much.

Her fatigue from the day was finally kicking in and Brooke lay down on the small couch. She curled up in a ball and closed her eyes. Images of the day flashed in her head. Dressing Angie up to go to the beach, reluctantly marking down another day on the calendar, receiving the phone call, packing up her things in a hurry, giving up Angie at the airport, turning around and seeing Luke watching her, breaking down in his arms. She felt so empty now, so drained. How come every time she held happiness in her hands – in her heart – it slipped away from her?

The question kept on swirling around in her mind as she finally closed her eyes and fell asleep. Tomorrow would be better. She had to believe that.

--

Lucas sighed as he closed his phone. He wasn't really sure what he had done. Haley had told him to stop running and hiding his heart, but the problem was that nothing was as clear in his heart as Peyton's drawing on the river court or as Lindsay's voice mail on his phone. It was all messy and tangled up, and he was standing right in the middle of it.

If he was being honest with himself, he had to admit that maybe he wasn't in love with Lindsay the way he had claimed he was. She meant so much to him – she had helped him publish his first book, and while he had been by her side during the last 4 years, he had grown from a boy to a man. But the part he always tried to forget was that she was the one who had helped him get over Peyton. She was uncomplicated, honest and beautiful. At first, he had loved her because she was so different from Peyton, but then he had truly fallen for who she was. But maybe it was the whole problem – he loved her, but he wasn't in love with her. Or at least, not the way he should be for someone that had been about to commit his life to her.

And then there was Peyton. All skinny legs and tangled mess of a hair. He couldn't help but wonder how things could get so complicated between two people who had loved each other the way they had. Maybe that's what true love really was about, but it didn't change the fact that it was hard. He had told her it was all hard – letting her go, losing her, seeing her again. It was hard because from the moment their lips had touched the night of the championship, he had always thought nothing would ever come between them. He never thought he would ever doubt what they had.

And maybe it was time for him to start believing again. Peyton said the people she loved always left her, but the truth is that he felt like they all left him too, one by one. Keith, Brooke, Peyton, his mom, Lindsay. Perhaps he was a romantic at heart, or perhaps having seen his mother so lonely for all those years had made him this way. But deep down, all he wanted was to love and be loved in return.

Love is what it's all about. He smiled as he remembered what the carriage driver had told Brooke and him that night in New York, after he had first learned that his book was going to be published.

Brooke. He had been standing here in the airport with her mere hours earlier. When he had seen her looking so broken, lost in the middle of the crowd, he had felt a need to protect her and keep her safe from the heartbreak of this world that was unlike anything he had ever felt in his life. She was so amazing and brave and beautiful, sometimes he wondered how she could still be single.

There was a time when she was his and he had truly thought she was the one for him. But somehow, she had stopped missing him, and he'd had to face the sad and difficult truth: he wasn't the guy for her. He remembered asking his mom what she did when Dan didn't love her back; she'd said she would get back to him when she got over it. A part of Lucas was still trying to get over losing Brooke. Sometimes she would look at him a certain way and for a fleeting moment, she was his again. But he knew better – she didn't love him anymore, and he loved Peyton. Or Lindsay.

How had he gotten himself in this mess in the first place? The time when it used to be just Haley and him seemed like a lifetime ago right now. He wished there could be some kind of sign that would help him figure out what he really wanted, deep down.

The sound of his cell phone ringing brought him back to reality. He grabbed it from his pocket and opened the text message he had received. A smile graced his face as he read it.

Angie is home safe. Thank you for everything. And yes, I'm going to be fine. Stop brooding! Brooke.

He closed his phone, feeling relieved; and that's when he saw her. She was clutching her duffel bag with both hands, looking more nervous than he ever remembered seeing her. Maybe this was crazy, but he needed to take a chance on something. He had wanted this for long: now was the time to finally have it.

"Hey Luke," she said softly, almost shyly.

He smiled. "Hi Peyton."

--

"Brooke."

"Brooke!"

"Brooke, wake up!"

She groaned. Who was talking so loud and why was it so goddamn bright in here? And more importantly, why was her mattress so hard??

A hand lay on her arm and shook her gently. "Brooke, you gotta wake up."

She spoke without opening her eyes as she recognized the familiar voice. "Millicent? What are you doing in my bedroom?"

"We're not in your bedroom, Brooke. We're in the store."

Brooke immediately sat up and opened her eyes upon hearing Millicent's words. Given how sunny it was outside, she guessed it was around 8 or 9 am. She was amazed she had managed to sleep that much given last night's events, not to mention how uncomfortable this couch was. She made a mental note to herself to remember to buy a better one.

"Right. And you are here to open it," she stated.

"Yes," said Millicent, nodding. "Well, not really. In part." She stopped, nervous, and then spoke again. "I need to talk to you, Brooke."

Brooke looked up, and that's when she saw Mouth standing behind her assistant. So that's who the second voice was. She had thought she was crazy for a second. Her hand reached for her hair as she moved across the couch and invited Millicent and Mouth to sit down. God, she was not a morning person.

Mouth spoke first. "I was offered a job in Nebraska, as a sports anchorman, and I accepted it."

"Mouth that's great!" she screamed. "When do you start? What's the channel? Oh I'm so excited for you!" She stopped when she saw the way Millicent and Mouth were looking at her. "It's great, right? Because it looks like you both think it's bad news and I'm just really confused right now," she trailed.

Millicent smiled. "It's great news. But since Marvin and I want to be together and his new job is basically across the country, I decided to move with him. To Nebraska. Next month."

"Oh." It was the last news she had expected to get this morning, and all of a sudden she couldn't help but being sad at the thought of losing Millicent too.

"Are you mad? Because I know you have a lot of work with the new designs coming in soon, and Victoria is gone, and you have Angie now, and –"

"Millicent, I'm happy for you two! Really. It's great news." She smiled. Millicent had become a true friend over the months and she was going to miss her. But if Nebraska was where her happiness was, then Brooke was thrilled for her. Especially since Millicent's happiness involved Mouth being happy, too.

Millicent sighed in relief and smiled. "I'm so glad to hear you say that."

Brooke turned to Mouth. "You better take care of my girl or I will come to Nebraska and kick your butt!" she told him jokingly.

"I promise I'll take good care of her," Mouth said, laughing.

"You better, Anchor Boy."

"So where is Angie?" Mouth asked. "And why did you sleep in your store?"

Brooke's smile fell immediately. "Angie's gone."

"What?" Millicent exclaimed. "But she wasn't supposed to leave before next week! We had planned a goodbye party, and Lucas had suggested to throw it on the rooftop and he'd already bought all the decorations, and –"

Brooke sighed. "The agency called yesterday and said that she was going home earlier than expected because she'd been doing so well. I gave her back at the airport during the afternoon." She tried to smile and be brave but she didn't have it in her.

"I'm sorry, Brooke. I wish I could have been there."

"It's okay. I'll be okay, I think. I just needed some time alone, and the store seemed like the best place." She was silent for a few seconds. There it was again – the pain and confusion and hurt.

"But anyway," she said, swallowing her tears." I better get going so you can open up the store." She got up and grabbed her back and keys. "I'll back later today, 'kay? Mouth, congratulations, I'm so proud of you!"

She hugged him again. "Thanks, Brooke. Call us if you need anything, okay? We're here for you."

This time Brooke managed to muster a smile. "I know. Thank you, guys." She walked out of the store and into the bright sunlight. She didn't really know where to go from here. It was a brand new world and she had to find her place again.

--

For those of you who are interested, the song I used for the title of this chapter is sung by Richard Ashcroft.