A/N: A rewrite of my first fanfic. A what-might-have-been. My Kim is a piano player.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. *sighs deeply*
Do you remember me, Jared? No, I didn't think so.
I remember you all too well. I watched you for a while before we actually met. Something in your face drew me – I can't quite explain what. Perhaps it was something in the way you held your head, sometimes. I saw you with your friends, laughing and talking, between classes. You seemed so at home in your own life. It made me feel wistful for something I couldn't describe.
Not far into the first semester, I was asked to play the piano in a school concert. It was one of the few times that I forced myself to drown out the protests of my shy side. I played in the concert, and walked away from it elated. Not because I'd played particularly well, but because you'd been there, turning the pages. We'd made small talk beforehand. I'd managed to make a joke – a really bad one, but you'd still laughed a little. It had been a lovely, genuine sound. Afterwards, you'd said that I was really good on the piano. I thought that something was finally going right in my life.
The next day, I passed you in the hallway. I said Hi, shyly. You didn't even spare me a glance. I thought, naively, that you hadn't heard me. I was soon disabused of that notion, after a few more days of being blanked. I guess my presence just didn't register with you. I gave up on you shamefully quickly – I always have been a coward.
I couldn't seem to stop watching you, though.
It's been a couple of years since that incident. I should be over it by now. Why does seeing you every day still get to me this way? Why do I feel such a strange pang of joy and pain when I see you, messing around with your friends? Why do I almost flinch when I hear your laugh?
I do not blame you. Neither do I forgive you. I just watch you, same as always.