It hurt.
It hurt, but there was so much more to it than that simple word could describe.
Ripping. Tearing. Burning. Stabbing. Rending.
A dissolution of the soul that he was powerless to stop.
And all the while, Itachi watched him. Watched him with those fucking glassy eyes. Those fucking eyes that couldn't even see him anymore.
"You're doing well, little brother."
"What the fuck would you know? You can't even see me."
"I can tell from your voice."
He wanted the pain to stop. He wanted it to stop so he could remember something. It was important, he knew that. He knew that it was very, very important. Life altering, perhaps.
It had caused the pain, he was sure.
But at the same time, he was so very lost.
Sasuke tried once again to move towards his brother, muscles tensing and straining and fatigued. He didn't slide more than a foot, and eventually he let his straining arm, one that held a bloodied knife, fall to the ground.
Bloodied.
Blood.
Red. Redredredredredredred-
It was everywhere. Where was it coming from? Him? It was possible. Sasuke didn't want to take the time to check himself for wounds. Or take his eyes off his brother. He might decide to attack, and where would Sasuke be then?
Damn bastard just kept staring.
And his soul just kept rippingtearingrendingburning.
But Itachi still didn't move. He sat there. Slumped against a tree, covered in red and black and brown, and not at all as Sasuke had remembered him.
When did his brother get wrinkles? When did his body look so weak and thin and helpless?
Why was there blood everywhere?
And someone was screaming now, calling for him. His name. Sasuke. Sasuke. Asking where he was.
He didn't know, so how could he answer?
He wanted to tell them to shut-up and go away. His brother was dangerous, even without his sight. He was going to hurt anyone who came near. He would kill them too, take them away and put them someplace that Sasuke couldn't reach, even with big-boy hands. Hands that strangled and stabbed and caressed and loved in their emptiness.
There were people now, in the woods with them. Sasuke wanted to snarl, wanted to snap out at them like a dog because Itachi was his God damn it, and why were they touching him?
Why was Itachi letting them touch him?
Voices floated into his mind, voices that sounded familiar but far away.
"That's Uchiha Itachi, right? Man. That kid really did a number on him-"
"- a hole right through his chest would you look at –"
"- blood everywhere, most of it's Itachi's though. Will Sasuke be –"
"- fine, I'm sure that we can patch him up and get him to safety. Put the body –"
"- away from here. We can't just leave it for the crows, even through the bastard deserved it."
Sasuke opened his mouth and asked 'Where are you taking him? Itachi, why are you letting them touch you? Why are you leaving again? Why are you covered in blood? Why can't you see? Why did you do it? Whywhywhy –', but the words never left him. They were carefully bottled away, wrapped in his fragile soul.
He clawed at the ground even as the medics checked his body, his nails catching on rocks and wood and grass and attempting to carry him to Itachi. He couldn't let his brother go again, and why were they taking him away? Why did Itachi let them put him in a bag?
"Poor kid," a voice said, possibly connected to the hand that was stroking the hair away from his face. He couldn't seem to focus on anything. Who was touching him? "I wonder what he'll do now? With his brother dead, and all. Do you think they'll let him become a ninja? After the desertion?"
Sasuke didn't hear the answer, if there was one.
He was too busy trying to stay afloat in what was left of himself, because he had finally remembered what had caused the hurt.
The final blow of Itachi and Sasuke had stepped right into it.
As they carried him away, his brother -was dead dead dead never coming back, oh God what have I done - traced his back and told him that everything was as it should be now, and soon, oh so soon, Sasuke would be able to follow him.
Sasuke drowned in the memory of his brother and never resurfaced.
A/N: Written whilst in pain and tired. So tell me if you see any mistakes? That would be lovely.