The room was spinning again. The air around him felt thick and unbreathable, but he knew it was just his mind playing tricks on him. It hurt to breathe, but what choice did he have? Well, technically not breathing was a choice, but it sure as hell wasn't a logical one. Despite the current state he was in, Grimmjow knew that it made no sense to stop breathing.
He was a mess. An absolute mess, and there was nothing that he or anyone else could do about it. Or so he thought. Of course he could just go off and find the help that he needed, but that would involve admitting that he had an actual problem, and he still didn't believe that he had a problem. Grimmjow wasn't stupid, he knew that people definitely succumbed to the false sense of security that drugs provided, but they were weak and he wasn't. He knew that he could stop whenever he wanted to. This was his choice, and his choice alone. Or so he thought.
Being cast under a heroine induced spell caused him to have crazy thoughts and ideas that led him to have this false sense of safety and security. The heroine soothed him. It instantly melted away all of his problems and worries and took him to this place that could only be described as euphoric. It was a high that one couldn't simply describe or even begin to illustrate; and he lived for, rather, he craved that feeling constantly. If only he had listened.
It physically hurt to conjure up past memories or even simple images of him, and there was no drug that could help ease such a pain. He had let him down, no he had let everyone down, but he was the only one that Grimmjow ever card about. His word was the only one that ever held any real meaning to his life, and he would do anything for him. But it wasn't long before he had begun to lose patience with him. There was only so much that one person could deal with, and Grimmjow had literally put the man through hell. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't handle his rambunctious and unruly nature.
He had literally ruined his life. Grimmjow knew that Ichigo had such a promising life and career ahead of him, yet he had the unfortunate pleasure of falling in love with him. He was like a disease, one that quickly invaded the senses, rendering them utterly useless against him. Ichigo had succumbed to his charms quickly, and instead of leading him away, he carelessly invited him into his fucked up little fantasy.
At first, things were fine, and he was led to believe that he could overcome his addiction. Ichigo was so patient and kind, deliberately going out of his way to help him cope and deal with whatever demons that had latched onto him. In his arms he was safe from the temptations and evils that the outside world provided, and at the time that was all he ever wanted. But this feeling was a fleeting one, and he soon found himself reverting back to the only lifestyle that he ever knew.
Ichigo was livid. It pained him greatly to see him so angry, for all he ever wanted was to see him happy, but of course his anger was justified. He had invested so much time and love into their relationship, and he had singlehandedly ruined that all because he had a moment of weakness. Grimmjow was weak and useless, and Ichigo was too good and pure for someone like him, so he tried to leave, but found himself incapable of doing so. It was selfish of him to stay and ruin Ichigo even more, but he couldn't let him go. Not now, not ever.
The light in his eyes began to gradually fade, until Ichigo had lost all of the enthusiasm and vigor he had once found so charming and endearing. He wanted him to get that look back in his eye, the same look that made him blush with joy and gave him butterflies. So he did the only thing that he knew how to do.
Of course he wasn't thinking properly when he carefully injected the artificial paradise into his arm, however, he would do anything to see him gain that lovely spark in his eye. He was himself again, happy and excited about the future life that they would make for themselves, but this happiness didn't last long. Grimmjow knew that feeling that one gets after coming down from such an incredible high and how it left you craving for more. Ichigo was no exception to this rule.
The room spun faster, and he felt his stomach lurch uncomfortably, but he couldn't move. He was numb to everything around him and it had felt wonderful. He felt weightless, limitless, and unrestricted, allowing him to fall into a comfortable state of being. The room kept on spinning, and he closed his eyes trying to savor the feeling. It was nice. He sensed movement in the space next to him, but made no effort to open his eyes.
Time stood still, but the room still spun, and he felt a pair of arms lazily wrap themselves around him. Time had stood still, the room spun slower, and his breath ghosted slowly over his cold skin. Time had stood still, the room stopped spinning, and he felt a pair of warm lips brush against his temple. Time began to slowly tick on by, the room slowly resumed its spinning, and he heard soft proclamations of love being whispered in his ear. It was a fucked up situation.
"What have we done to each other?"
AN: There's a 70% chance that there are still hidden typos that I haven't managed to catch, but otherwise I hope you enjoy~.