A/N: Don't mind me, just writing nonsensical crack fic. None of the opinions stated in this fic are mine. Alice is America.
Alice, for once, just wanted people to stop staring.
Correction: she didn't mind staring if people were screaming her praises after how utterly heroic she sounded when she made a speech. She didn't mind if people were struck speechless after seeing her walk confidently down the streets to buy her groceries. But people seemed to be staring at her for different reasons today and it made her depressed in the least heroic way possible.
Frankly, she wondered why people would stare at her in horror. She checked her compact mirror to see if there was something grotesquely disgusting on her face-and there was nothing. Her face remained as clear and as flawless as ever, framed by short blonde hair. Her blue eyes twinkled behind silver glasses.
…It must have been the fact that she decided to wear something else other than her usual battered brown cowboy boots and nearly microscopic jean shorts, bikini top in the pattern of an American flag and a white shirt with a knot tied strategically under her chest. Instead, she wore a plain tee shirt a short but super cute skirt, black leggings and a pair of uggs. Even if it the temperature was supposed to climb steadily higher, Alice refused to not wear her extremely comfortable shoes.
Instead of doing the sensible thing (whatever that would be), she called Arthur from her cell phone in hysterics, close to tears.
"A-Arthur, people are staring at me funny!"
"…What am I supposed to do about that?"
"Use your magic to make it stop or something." Arthur sighed loudly. Instead of saying something snarky and rather rude, he instead opted to respond as calmly as possible.
"That's not what magic is for."
"So what should I do?" She was openly sobbing, forgetting for the moment that heroes don't sob.
"So what are you wearing?" Alice's sobbing promptly stopped at Arthur's odd question.
"This isn't the time for phone sex, Arthur." Arthur sighed.
"Get your mind out of the gutter, you disgusting prat and describe what you're wearing."
"Let's see…I'm wearing a tee shirt, leggings, uggs-"
"Take your uggs off immediately and your problems should be solved."
"But-"
"Take them off."
"I think they're cu-"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence."
"But-!"
"Take. Off. Your. Uggs. Right. Now." Arthur could practically hear Alice pouting over the sounds of rustling and shuffling.
"I changed shoes. You happy now?"
"Yes, quite."