Red Velvet at Midnight
The moonlight filter through the window as the night breeze blew back curtains, casting shadows on the half lit faces of two young men. The fair-haired boy set down his instrument on the windowsill; the dim light rolled off the violin trailing the concave curves, beautiful and delicate like the musician. The moon's luminance reflecting in Jem's silvery locks of hair mimicked its pale glow, a light contrast to his companion, Will's dark hair tinted electric blue in the night.
Moments before Will's intrusion to his friend's room, the notes of Telemann floated through the air echoing down the hall and bouncing off the walls. Now they were greeted with only the sound of their own breaths and the restless wind. The silence was suffocating Will like an elephant in the room but the effect was shattered by an unbeknownst Jem as he turned away from the window to face Will.
"You have never shirked from your duties," Jem said. "And I know that you would have done what you could to save Tessa in the tea warehouse, whoever she was. But I could not help thinking that perhaps the reason you were so determined to save her was because you knew what she meant to me." He tipped his head back, his smile incandescent.
"Did I guess correctly, or am I a thickheaded idiot?" Jem asked.
"You're an idiot," said Will, and swallowed hard past his dry throat. "But- you are correct. I know what she means to you.
Jem grinned. His smile was illuminating even at the darkest hour of the night. Everything Will planned to say to him was obviated with a single smile, his mind blank and he was at loss with words he recited moments earlier. Despite loving Tessa, Will also loves Jem and he couldn't be so selfish to take that away. If Will revealed his feelings he knew Jem would back down for him. He knows Jem would see him a better suitor for Tessa since Jem's health was deteriorating and he may not have that much time left. But Will also knew that in those final days he wanted Jem to be happy.
Tessa already agreed to the proposal and Jem would lose it all if truth be told. Will rationalized that he can't lose what was never his and put on a brave face for his brother, smiling back hoping his acting skills at being jerk applied to being sincere. His façade must have been convincing enough for Jem's smile widened.
"Thank you for what you did for Tessa." Jem said.
"Thank you for watching Brother Enoch pull shards of metal out of my back afterward." Will said.
"I also got you duck pie." Jem reminded.
"Ah, yes, strange cravings I have after such an ordeal." Will winked "Would you like me to return the flavor?"
"Duck pie is a bit too heavy this late at night, will you please be so kind and send Sophie or Bridget up with a tray of cupcakes?" Jem said taking Will up on his offer.
"Seriously?" Will asked incredulously.
Jem laughed. "What else are parabatai for?"
"Apparently for getting midnight snacks." Will grumbled as he slipped out of the room and down the maze of hallways towards the kitchen.
Once the door closed shut, Jem's smile fell. Now it was his turn to drop the façade.
"No, Will you're the idiot" Jem whispered under his breath "I know what she means to you."
Jem returned his gaze up to moon his memories shuffling through the past events and his slender fingers absent-mindedly tracing the smooth patterns along the edge of his violin.
Jem recalled the numerous times when he caught Will and Tessa exchange meaningful glances. He knows they have a strong connection yet he hoped that his with Tessa's is stronger. The only way to accomplish this was weaken the bond between them. Jem was not pleased with himself and extremely ashamed of his actions but he couldn't lose Tessa. His mind stopped at the most recent discovery, when he fortunately (unfortunately for Will) overheard his confession to Tessa.
Jem knew that if Will asked him he would give up Tessa, he never denied Will of anything. How can Jem say no after hearing the tragic story Will having to deny love from all those he loved to protect them. If Will straight up asked him he would crack from all the guilt, he knew how he was compared to Will. Jem was weak, sick and dying the only thing good was his kindness which would be stripped if he said no. Will was strong, healthy, handsome and had many things going for him minus his cruelness. Will would have been a better man and choice for Tessa now that he is fixed (something Jem will never be). Jem was being unfair to both Tessa and Will by hiding his knowledge and making them keep a secret that was never existent.
The only way Jem could deal with this was having Will not ask him to let go of Tessa. When it's not said, it's not true Jem twisted logic justified. Jem addressed the elephant first by guilt tripping Will, he knew Will's feelings were mirrors of his own, and he had played Will on it. Jem praised Will putting him in such good light, manipulated Will's motive to fit his own, and successfully forcing Will to back down. Jem was being selfish and his act was wrong on so many levels. Will is his parabatai, a brother, yet Jem treated him as a love rival and stole his girl. Tessa is the love of his life, yet Jem put her in a situation where she was confused and torn between two lovers but by default had to choose him. Jem hung his head in shame his conscience eating away at him. If the drugs didn't kill Jem first keeping this secret and harvesting the immense guilt surely would.
"Bridget will bring up your cupcakes." Will's voice carried through the door.
"Thanks Will, care to join me?" Jem asked out of pleasantry
After a moment of hesitation Will declined. "Not tonight, I'm like a zombie, not good company to keep, I might eat out your brains!"
I wish you would Jem thought bitterly for his thoughts were killing him slowly. But Jem didn't come clean instead he replied in mock surprise "Finally sleeping in your own bed?"
"After sharing brother Enoch's, that would be a yes!" Will laughed as his footsteps and laughter faded as he grew farther from Jem's room.
"I'm so sorry." Jem whispered when he could no longer hear Will. His heart clenched at the desperate measures he turned to for ensuring his engagement with Tessa. Jem felt agony as he compared what he was doing to Mortmain's plan; he had acted no better.
A knock on the door alerted Jem of his cupcakes arrival and brought him out of his reverie. Even before Jem opened the door he knew Bridget had dropped them off for he recognized her usual eerie murderous ballard being sung. Though this was new version which he never recall hearing before.
Oh the knowledge that you may gain,
Leads to only heartbreak and pain
A slit wrist, a lacerated vein
No self-control will remain
Innocent eyes can't see through
To monster you've changed into
Darkened blood flows through you
All your promises untrue
Love is a battle of strategic art
The only rule: don't get caught
Blackness engulfs your heart
Many others are torn apart
You've betrayed those who care
Plummeting them in great despair
Gone are the loyalty you've swear
You do this fully aware
It's scary what you become under the mask
Sacrificing love and honor for your task
You've turned your friend to the flask
In alcoholic warmth he'll bask
No weapons are needed to do harm
Anything can be done with simple charm
Nothing catches you in alarm
For careful spoken words can disarm
Never thought you could fall so low?
Strike a friend with an underhand blow
You've put on a mighty good show
Guilt haunts you for you know
You've cheated your best friend
You swore many times to defend
Destroyed the life he begun to mend
Your friendly act is all pretend
You've killed the goodness inside
Brushed your mortal feelings aside
Just so you can have a bride
Who still can't decide…
You're the lucky groom
Marked by a certain doom
Everyday will be lead in gloom
Until your body is entomb
The love triangle of three
With death closing in on thee
A great tragedy this would be
All spectators will agree
You've become heaven's disgrace
This might put you in place
A poisoned cupcake that is laced
With blood and tears only you taste
Bridget final lines hung in the air, suspended in time long after she had disappeared, leaving Jem haunted by her truthful words and a lone red velvet cupcake sitting at the foot of his door.