Tonight
By Torad
It's the middle of the night
And all is black I hear your footsteps
My eyes fall slack
I know what you want
I know why you're back
I wish it would end
But I know it won't
Tonight I plead don't
But no one hears my cries
My savior is gone
For the night
My only hope
Is out of sight
Asleep and safe
Down the hall
I must be quiet
Though I wish I could scream
Wish for a savior
Anyone who can beam
That beautiful light
In such horrid darkness
Tonight I hate the sharpness
Of those knives
One away the other asleep
I can only pray for day to come
The sun will not rise in time
No help will
I'll have to bear through it
Though I want to be shrill
As I scream
Waking up the neighbourhood
Showing what's been done
I've broken a once perfect household
And the toture's just begun
Tonight I am used to shun
By everything I knew
My savior is gone
He won't witness my sins
My punishment I wish would end
But I know I deserve it
So I will quiet my screams tonight
And wait until the end
Tonight no wounds will mend
Not until I die
It's almost sunrise
And the torture has ended
Or has it just began?
I need to be careful
And hide what I can
None of them can know
Every night I wish to die
But every morning I smile
Because I know
Though they never will
Tonight my mind is screaming shrill
But you can't hear it
With every session
Every whip and every drop of blood
Every drop of semen
I redeem myself
I make myself worthy
Though it never lasts
By the end of the day I'm always
Just as tainted
Tonight I wish I had fainted
The darkness is welcome
It makes me wonder why I allow it
I know I don't but it feels as I do
Why I stopped fighting back
Wouldn't it be better
If I couldn't remember
If I weren't conscious at all?
But it wouldn't matter
Tonight I see the silver platter
I am served upon
I see their faces
In my head
With my eyes
I see myself tainting them
My presence dirtying them
My filth surrounding them
To see their worry
To see them hold back
It makes my heart ache
My heart is black
Tonight I just might crack
And who will be laughing then?
Why does everything hurt
Everything aches
My responses are curt
Each word is unbearable
I think they know
My eyes can barely stay open
And my body aches so
I nearly faint after a few steps
Until if finally becomes too much
I collapse in the hall
Of stampeeding teens
And my punishment will be as such
Tonight just might be too much
Everyone has a breaking point
They saw the brusies
The saw the cuts
I know they know
I can't make excuses
No if ands or buts
No explanation
Will suffice
No explanation
Will satisfy
Tonight I will learn to pacify
But that won't matter, will it?
The guilt I see
Sickens me
No matter who it's from
Don't you know?
Haven't you heard?
I gave my message
My message to the bird
And tonight I live as I will die
Tonight the truth will replace the lie
And you will see what I have become
No longer worthy of love and praise
Though I never was
But you don't and won't know
No scar or bruise
Or broken bone
Will tell my story
I should have known
I can't hide
Not anymore
I should have died
That first night
Tonight my soul will take flight
And take it's tortured memories
Outside the wind it howls grave
It knows my soul
Too late to save
I stand on the edge
And I want to fall
Just one more step
To break that wall
The one that distanced me
For far too long
And my broken mind will rest
Tonight I will show you I'm just a pest
So why bother trying to stop me?
You call to me
To stop this mess
You say it's insanity
But you have yet to take a step
Towards the edge
I want to jump
But live the fall
I want to die slowly
Watching the wall
Fade to darkness
Let my blood spill
Tonight I will let them get their fill
Of my death, my pain and suffering
Your words are hollow
To my ears and the wind
What you say
And what you want
Are two different things
You love your life
You want it to stay
But in your eyes
I'm in the way
Tonight I will no longer stay
To see that morbid joy in your eyes
Do you know
That I can see
That delicate
Intesnity
That burns in your eyes
At my burning pain?
Can you hear
Your morbid thoughts
Of my punishment you imagine?
I don't think you can
For shame would surley erupt
And we both know it
Tonight my eyes no longer lit
With life wasted in pain and rage
You want me dead
But say you don't
I speak the truth
Because you won't
I've always known
I'm in the way
So bow your head,
Make haste,
And pray
Tonight I will no longer see the day
But you don't want me to, do you?
You take a step forward
And another step back
The teachers approaching
You make a lie
Say I'd jump if you came
Any closer but I won't
But they don't know that
You make yourself frantic
The panic spreads
Infecting the old and young
Tonight I decide I will be hung
For my sins and infecting filth
The teachers
They call
Ask me to stop
No one dares come closer
The world is spinning
Like a top
I feel faint again
But my eyes remain
On your figure
On your eyes
They are trained
My eyes are blank
Ready for death
Your eyes are filled with longing
To see my death come
Tonight you will cry to your mum
Your wish came true, and you couldn't be happier.
There's no use now
Delaying this
I will give you this
Your final wish
Will you rejoice?
Dance on my grave?
Enjoy it while you can
Nothing lasts
Your fun will end
Tonight my broken spirit mend
On the way down as I rush towards the ground
I can still see your grin
No matter how hard you try
To hide it
So grin and laugh to yourself
Bathe in my blood
Let my demise be your blessing
And relish in
Your last day on Earth
Tonight
For tomorrow I will meet you in hell.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto
(Can anyone guess the two main characters in this poem? There's Sasuke obviously, but who else?)
A/N: Alrighty! Another poem! This was actually written 2 years ago, with a few finishing touches recently. I wish I could have uploaded sooner, but I couldn't find the fic that inspired this poem. I finally found it like
10 minutes ago and now that I have I can finally post! I find it strange, though, that I'm posting this in such an unfitting mood. So, now if you will excuse me, I'm going to go watch Panty and Stacking With Garterbelt!
See you next time, forgive my probable spelling errors that I always manage to miss no matter how many times I read it over, and have a wonderful life! And Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays!
P.S. the fic that inspired this poem is called "Follow Me" by the wonderful 'Jaiden Lockheart'
(Specifically Chapter 7)
Torad