Author Notes: I enjoyed writing this little fic and intend to flesh it out, expanding the story into a multi-chapter story. This ficlet is a non beta post, sorry for any issues. Issues with spelling and grammar will be fixed when I begin to write this out.
Original Post for CS Hiatus Challenge Page: post/144925757129/burdens-of-war
My Tumblr: post/145061438720/burdens-of-war
Emma knew she had been trained for this day, knew how to assist the doctors and perform her duties as a nurse, but nothing could really prepare her for the horror she encountered the first day she walked into the hospital. There were young men everywhere, missing limbs, crying out in pain: some begged for their mothers and others for death to claim them.
When Emma had arrived in England, the Red Cross had sent her to a hospital in the countryside north of London where those severely injured or dismembered came to recover and complete rehabilitation. It was Emma's job to aid patients in adapting to life now, to help them find a way to live with the cost the war had demanded of them. Many of the young men outright refused her assistance, their pride wounded along with their bodies. New patients arrived daily and eventually most would be sent home, healed on the outside but their souls still bearing the heavy burden of loss.
Days passed much the same each day as the war dragged on. Long days and weeks were rewarded with a free day every Sunday. Emma attended church and then sometimes simply wandered though the little town near the hospital. Emma had made several friends among the nurses but she still felt alone and far from home.
Emma could barely think of her mother or of her family in their small town in Maine without being homesick. The last night before leaving for training in New York she had spent the evening helping her mom in the kitchen making supper, while her dad chased her younger siblings, Leo and Ava, around the yard in a game of tag. Dinner had been a lively affair, though no one could ever call an evening in the Nolan household anything but lively and loving. Her parents were proud that their nineteen year old daughter volunteered as a nurse; that she had decided to be selfless and dedicate her time to the wellbeing of others. Her father had called her his little hero and hugged her tightly before bidding her farewell, letting his little girl go off on her own adventure. Tears had marred her face then and now just thinking of the goodbye to her family at the train station.
Some days Emma didn't know how she could continue to do her work, as it was not only physically demanding, but emotionally exhausting. Her mother wrote to her often, encouraging her to find strength and courage in the men whom had far greater struggles to overcome and that if they could rise and face each day, then so could she. Emma was grateful for her mother's letters and wisdom which oft gave her hope on even the worst of days.
Killian Jones knew that he was going to die. He spent an unknown length of time in a hospital tied to a bed, flowing in and out of consciousness as a fever ravaged his mind and body. He caught glimpses of a blond haired angel whenever he opened his eyes. She pressed a cool cloth to his forehead and sang to softly to him, coaxing him back to the realm of the living. He decided then that he very much wanted to live, if only to met the angel nursing him back to life.
The day that Emma first saw Killian Jones, she stopped breathing for a brief moment. She had seen many men come through the hospital but he was something else entirely. His raven hair unkempt, beard growing unchecked, he had a scar across one cheek, bruises on his other but he was still the most gorgeous man she had ever seen. Emma certainly blushed when she discovered his dark hair covered not only his head but his chest and other areas of his body. She had seen many men in a state of undress as she helped them bathe or washed those who couldn't do it for themselves, but seeing him undressed was the first time she experienced true embarrassment, she thought.
After two weeks of fever raging through him, it finally broke and he regained consciousness, much to Emma's relief. When his blue eyes met hers he simply stared at her as she sat next to him on the bed and spoke.
"My name is Emma Nolan. Do you know who you are and what happened?"
"My name is Killian Jones. I'm in a hospital, but I don't know why I'm here," he whispered.
"Killian, you were injured. You lost your hand and almost lost your life to an infection in the wound but the infection is gone and the fever has passed."
Killian looked down at his left arm for the first time, realizing that his hand was gone and whatever he had thought he felt was a phantom sensation. Killian met the green eyes of the angel who had saved him and looked away. His emotions welled within him and the loss of his hand meant more than just that. He would never be a full man and his life would never be normal again.
Emma saw Killian's pain and she touched his face turning it back to face her, before dropping her hand to her lap. She knew she was toeing a line, but comforting him seemed more important.
"I know what you are thinking, and although it may take time, you will learn to live with this loss. You are not any less of a man because you have lost a limb. You still have so much to give this world. You simply have to resolve to work harder for things than you did in the past, but there is hope. I will help you through this."
Emma hadn't realized she had cried until she felt his hand brush a tear off of her cheek. She blushed and tried to look away, but his hand held her cheek. She was definitely crossing a line. She could be friend, sister or mother as her patients needed, but never lover. It was against the rules and she had seen it lead others to heartbreak.
"So passionate, love. Who could say no to an angel such as yourself?" He chuckled and he knew then that everything would be alright.
Weeks, turned into months as Killian learned to live without his left hand and how to use the hook and brace that had been made for him. He was adapting much faster than Emma had expected. She worried about what would happen when he left. She didn't even have to say anything about her fears, Killian could see the worry on Emma's face as the weeks progressed. His new normal wasn't the only thing Killian spent weeks learning about.
They had shared stories of their lives to this point, their fears, hopes and dreams. He told her about his older brother Liam, who raised him after their parents had died. Killian had followed Liam into the Navy at eighteen, rather than attend university per his brother's wishes. Killian had been in the Navy for five years until Liam's ship was destroyed by a German U-Boat. Killian spent the last year throwing himself into his work until an attack on his ship left him injured. Now that his career in the Navy was at an end, he thought about finishing his education and becoming a teacher.
Emma told him of her childhood with her brothers and sister, James who would have been seventeen but died from an infection when he was eight, Leo, aged fourteen and eleven-year old Ava. James was the reason Emma had decided to study medicine, so that she could prevent others from feeling the pain she had felt when he died. She had just begun courses at university with the intention to study medicine but Pearl Harbor changed her priorities. She signed up for the Red Cross nursing aide certification and been sent to England shortly after. She hadn't seen home in almost two years, letters and care packages the only comfort of home she had. Sometimes she would read her letters to him and Killian loved to listen to the tales of her siblings, small town gossip and simple moments that her family shared.
Even when Emma wasn't speaking, she was still something of an open book to him. He knew the one thing she didn't talk about was the worry about him leaving. One sunny spring morning, they walked arm and arm into town, enjoying Emma's free day when Killian saw the worry again in her emerald eyes.
"You don't have to worry about me, love. I'm a survivor," he assured her. He stopped their walk and edged them off the path into an old ruin out of sight of others that might be walking down the lane.
"I believe you, Killian," she sighed. She backed away, not afraid of him, but afraid of herself if she lingered.
"What is it, love?" Killian used his left arm around her waist, the back of his hook pressed into her back, to pull her into him. He shifted his fingers into her blond hair, pulling out the tie that held her hair up. "What are you afraid of?"
"Killian... I ... We shouldn't be doing this. It's against the rules," Emma breathed, looking away. She very much wanted to and he damn well knew it, but she was afraid she'd give him her heart and he'd break when he eventually left.
"Emma, hang the bloody rules. It's just an excuse. I care for you deeply... hell I've fallen in love with you and I know that you feel the same."
Emma turned to face him. She could get lost in the depths of his cerulean eyes.
"Killian, I'm in love with you too," Emma admitted. She tried to continue but Killian captured her lips in a kiss. She deepened it and moaned into his mouth as he pressed into her.
"Emma, I am being discharged soon and I want you to come with me. We don't even need to stay here in England. I'd follow you to the end of the world, if you'd let me," Killian said, pressing kisses to her lips, forehead and cheeks. "What do you say, love?"
Killian held her and watched her eyes register what he was asking. He saw her answer before she could even give it and smiled.
"Don't think I'm going to take my eyes off of you for a minute," she teased.
"I would despair if you did," Killian laughed, kissing her again. No matter what challenges came next, it'd be worth it because they had each other. Love was worth it.