So, once upon a time I was on my cosplay group's message board, and on our Question Forum there was a question asked.
"I have always wondered what Mello would do without chocolate for a month. It would be quite a horrible sight. I want to know so bad. Someone take it from him!" It wasn't exactly a question, but this is what I replied.
Disclaimer: The characters in this belong to...well, you all already know. So I'll just give them back when I'm done with them.
A Month Without Chocolate
Dedicated to: Ludi Invalidi Pro Cosplay Group
I was bored, alright?! I'd already beaten my game twice, and was far too lazy to start a new game again. So, as I sat there with the end music of the game playing, my mind racing. What could I do now? Beat Ocarina of Time again? No...I didn't want to hook up the old Nintendo 64.
Finally my mind drifted from video games and to the blond male that had randomly shown up in my life again. Ah, Mello. And his chocola--
The idea hit me fast and hard. And I liked it. Murder was imminent.
It was to be an experiment! To see what my dearest Mello would do without chocolate for a month. So, while he was out stalking little girls (haha, sorry, inside joke. You wouldn't understand it), I went around the apartment quickly packing up all the chocolate into a box, before throwing said box into the trunk of my car.
These are my notes on the experiment…
Well, first he thought that he had chocolate, but had misplaced it. So he searched the whole house, looking everywhere. Everywhere. Yes, that does mean my underwear drawer (which has the most amazing underwear in the world, not like it matters...) and the crack between the wall and our bed.
So! After not finding his chocolate, Mello began on stage two of chocolate withdrawals: PMSing.
At first I thought it was gonna be one of his little fits that he throws every once in a while. You know how it goes, right? …No? Well this is how it would normally go:
Mello would stomp into the room, demanding that I get him chocolate. To which I'd promptly answer him: "After this dungeon crawl, Mel! I need to finish it. I can't save in the dungeon!"
He'd then give a yell of frustration and stomp off angrily.
No. That's not what happened. This is what happened:
He stomped into the room, as he always did. "Matt…where's my chocolate?" He sounded annoyed, it's as if he knew that I had taken it all and put it in the trunk of my car. All I did was shrug and make an "I dunno" noise. Something that Mello hated.
"Fine. Go get me chocolate then." He snapped.
Shit! I can't get him chocolate, it'd ruin my experiment! was what went through my head, but all that came out of my mouth was "…"
Nothing.
"Maaaaatt…" It was a warning, I could feel it.
Quickly thinking of the best excuse I spat out, "Ah, well…you see Mello…I'm broke."
There was a slight pause. Silence. "What?"
So I continued. "Not only that but I'm in the middle of a dungeon crawl. I can't save in the dunge--"
At which point...he unplugged my PS2.
So that was only stage two.
After a while, he accepted the fact that I didn't have money. So begins the third phase of Mello without chocolate.
Third stage of withdrawals: Depression.
After a while, Mello kinda stopped moving. At first I thought he was dead. But on closer inspection, he was moping. Yes, he was laying around the house looking rather unhappy. This was the hardest part for me, seeing as he was giving me these big blue puppy eyes. Which is what I do to him, so he was doing it to me...must be revenge. It nearly broke me, but my will was strong! I must finish the month without chocolate!
A while later I found him in the kitchen, hoping to at least find the chocolate chips or some (rather bitter) baking chocolate. We'd used all of that for his birthday, so there was no chocolate in the kitchen.
After about a day or three of this Mello slowly began stage four.
Stage four of withdrawals: Talking to vegetables.
This was probably the most disturbing and strange thing I'd witnessed in all my life.
I woke up one morning to find Mello sitting at the kitchen table talking. At first I thought he was on the phone with that blond chick (Halle, was that her name...? Hmm...) from Near's place. So I got myself a bowl and poured myself a bowl of cereal. Sitting down at the table, I realized that it wasn't a phone that he was holding, and he wasn't holding anything to his head. He was holding it upright on the table. It was a head of broccoli.
Thoroughly weirded out, I quickly finished my cereal and retreated to the living room to play more of my game.
The talking to vegetables phase didn't last long. I knew this when the broccoli flew from the kitchen and happened to hit me in the head. Some how, I had a sinking feeling that he knew that I'd taken the chocolate. Could be just a hunch, but...
Stage five was odd, but mild, to say the least. Stage five of Mello's withdrawal: "Cling".
By this time we were on our last week or so of the withdrawal. At this point in time, Mello had gotten freakishly sweet and clingy. At first it was kinda cute, just a little. Then after a while he wanted me to hold him while I played my games. It was difficult to let him hug me around the waist and lay in my lap while trying to play Twilight Princess. Every once in a while Mello would whine, at which point I'd pause the game and let him shift a bit against my side. Which was a little bothersome while trying to get through difficult boss battles.
By the end of the month, Mello was just fine. Except for the occasional twitch and the strange mumbling that he seemed to pick up on day 27. Mind you, I had counted 30 days in a month.
Finally we had ended the 30th day of the month, and my experiment was a success. I sneakily put the chocolate back in the house and pretended that nothing had happened.
I had thought surely that Mello would have at least kicked a couple kittens in his time without chocolate. But no...no kittens were harmed. Though, he did freak out at some time, though, kidnapping that blond chick and storming into Near's SPK headquarters going on about a picture. Almost shot Near is what they told me. I had to come pick him up from that one... I mean, he'd already gotten his picture back, but he was convinced that the 'crippled sheep' had more pictures of him. If I'd been in Near's spot, I would have drawn a quick picture of Mello. The poor blond would have taken the drawing happily and left with a rather cheesy grin.
Mello noticed that he had his chocolate back, even the half-finished bar, and came to ask me about it. I told him that the explosion was messing with his head, that he'd been acting weird, and that maybe he should have some chocolate to soothe the pain of insanity. He only nodded and turned to go.
A moment later I heard a rather familiar "click", and it wasn't his chocolate snapping. A few seconds later there was an ear-shattering "BANG", and a bullet whizzed passed me embedding itself in the wall behind me.
Mello only smirked and left me sitting on the couch wide-eyed and heart pounding. And I knew that he'd known all along that it was me who'd taken his chocolate. And I knew that he'd have his revenge.
So there you have it. Why you should never take Mello's chocolate away. Ever.
Hope you enjoyed it~
-Matt