Heres a little story that sprang in to a mind just the other day :) Hope you enjoy :)
Big big thanks to Louise (csijunkie no1 1) who beta'd it for me. and helped me along. This is for you :)
Love letters.
"Sara, what's in this box?"
Gilbert Grissom was sat cross-legged on Sara Sidle's Bedroom floor helping her sort through her belongings for the removal van coming later on that day.
Sara, who was lying on her stomach across her double bed looking through old photos of her college years, looked up. Realizing what the small wooden box Grissom had in his hands contained, Sara jumped off the bed, grabbed the box and hugged it to her chest.
"Sara?" Grissom asked her confusion flashed across his face.
"Nothing, its nothing" Sara kept tight lipped. Standing up Grissom groaned slightly at the ache in his legs before walking slowly towards Sara who was now sat at the edge of her bed, box still in a death grip at her chest.
"Come on Sara, We will be sharing a home together in a matter of hours, at least explain why you are holding it, like it's the Pandora's Box"
"It's pathetic really" Sara sighed. "Just old letters I wrote over the years"
"Letters? What about?" Grissom asked intrigued, after noticing the look of embarrassment across Sara's face Grissom chuckled lightly. "Ah, you mean like a diary?"
"No Gil, not a diary. Diaries are about cataloguing your experiences and memories. These are letters"
It took Grissom the whole of 2 minutes to understand what Sara was hinting at. "Oh my! Love letters, who too?"
Sara looked up shocked. "No one."
"Sara honey" Grissom sat down next to Sara and placed a hand on her knee. "I'm really not bothered about old love letters you and some former lover of yours shared. There is really no need to hide them"
"You have misunderstood, these love letters so to speak are all from me, and I didn't have the guts to send them." Sara wouldn't even take her eyes of the box she was that embarrassed.
"If you don't minding me asking Dear," Grissom patted her knee and smiled a little. "Who were the letters intended for?"
"You"
Grissom was sure he had misheard. "Who honey?"
Sara cleared her throat a little and without looking up repeated a little louder "You"
"Oh!" Grissom said a little taken back. Sitting there in silence for what seemed to be hours for Sara but was only a couple of minutes, Grissom chuckled. "May I read one?"
"What! No, no way!" Sara jumped up and shoved the small box in a cardboard box labelled junk.
"Sara, please, I won't laugh if that's what you think" Grissom put on his puppy dog eyes knowing that's the one thing Sara couldn't resist.
"Fine, fine, only one okay!" Sara Sighed before grabbing the box again and taking a letter from the top of the box without acknowledging which one. Slowly passing it to Grissom, Sara took the seat she had just left, next to Grissom.
Before Grissom started reading he wrapped an arm around Sara's shoulders.
Dear Gil,
I still don't know why I bother with these letters if I don't have to guts to give them you. I guess it helps me release my feelings that are building up.
I wish you would do something about us, I know you have feelings for me with the way you look at me, the way you distant yourself from me when we get to close. I hope im right and not misreading the signals. The other day when I saw a case was getting to you I had to hold back the urge to comfort you, knowing you would hate that. You looked lost and alone, and I just wanted to comfort you, it's a shame you have built a wall around you so no one can help you.
I have tried telling myself to let you go, and believe me I have tried so many times, but somehow my heart can't let go. I guess it was just meant to be this way, me trying to break down your walls.
I hope you will figure this out soon, its exhausting waiting around for something you don't know if it'll happen or not.
All my love
Sara xx
"Sara, I didn't realise you felt like that" Grissom whispered, pulling Sara close and kissing her hair softly.
"It doesn't matter now Gil, That's all in the past."
"It does matter to me; I can't believe I was so blind, may I read another one?" Grissom asked softly.
"Sure, I mean it not like it matters now though"
"If you don't want me to its okay Hun, I just want to know how you feel" Grissom said whilst pulling Sara on to his lap and softly kissing her neck.
Sara giggled softly before taking another piece of paper she knew so well what it contained and passed it to Grissom. "This one, I wrote a while after we started dating"
Taking it from Sara's soft hand Grissom started reading it, out loud this time.
Dear my one true love,
These past couple of months has been the best months of my entire life. I haven't felt so much in love. You are the best thing that has happened to me, and I hope this stays. You have helped me through so much; you made me open up to you about my past, my fears and my dreams. You have comforted me when I felt low, you held me when I have awoken from a nightmare. I may add since I have not spent a night in my own bed alone, I haven't had a single bad dream, they have all been good ones, not like I need to dream since what I have always wanted is right in front of me. I hope one day I will have the courage to give you this letter and show you how truly you mean to me. I love you with all my heart and more Gil, and I hope you feel the same way.
Love always
Your Sara xx
Before Sara could say anything about the letter, Grissom covered her in small light kisses and before the kisses could get more passionate Grissom whispered to her ear. "Sara Sidle I love you with every part of my being, and I will always love you, even when I die I hope my love will still surround you."
Sara smiled a 100-watt smile and surrendered herself to Grissom, forgetting about the packing they should be doing.
A couple of days later
"Grissom, I think these are yours"
Sara was now unpacking in her new home. Grissom who was hanging her clothes in the wardrobe looked up and smiled.
"Sara, that box is yours"
"Well yes you're right the box is mine, but the letters inside, are yours. They where meant for you and I want you to have them" Sara smiled softly back at him before handing the box to him.
"Thank you dear, could I read them?"
"Well that's what I'm giving you them for, I have expressed to you how I felt during those years, but now you can truly know how I feel" Sara placed the box in Grissom's hand and continued with her unpacking. Noticing Grissom was still stood there unmoving with the box, she giggled, "Go Grissom, I'll be a while unpacking my stuff, and if you start now, you might finish by next week"
"Sara I think I should share something with you"
"Oh yeah what's that?" Sara looked up intrigued.
"My box of letters" Grissom grinned before heading over to his bedside cabinet and taking a similar wooden box into his hands.
Sara looked up; a flicker of emotions flew across her face before it settled on amusement. "Wow so the bug man opens up"
"Be nice dear, I thought seeing as you trust me with you most inner feelings I thought I would share mine with you"
Before Sara could say anything Grissom placed a small kiss on the top of her head, placed the box beside Sara and headed into the front room, before getting comfy in his favourite chair.
Picking a pile of letters out of the box, he sighed deeply before reading.
Gil
Today has been one of the hardest days of my life, firstly getting suspended, I know I was wrong for shouting at the suspect, but men like him get under my skin so much. Then you came round to my apartment demanding an explanation. Im so sorry you had to see me like that, and I'm sorry about the alcohol, I know you don't like it when I drink my problems away but it helps me, I don't know how and I don't know why. When I opened up about my past I was sure you were going to run away and never look back but you didn't you stayed there and held my hand in comfort. I so badly wanted to curl up beside you there and then but I knew that the handhold was all you could provide, and I'm glad you were the one I shared my past with. You are the only one I could trust with this huge burden. I just hope it doesn't affect what little relationship we have, because at the moment all I have in my life is you. Even though I haven't got all of you I still have you here, and I know hopefully one-day things will work out just fine.
My love
Sara
Xx
Sara who had watched Grissom leave the room before getting up from her position on the floor sat herself up against the headboard of the bed and took a piece of thick card out of the box. She smiled softly to herself at Grissom's perfect calligraphy before reading.
Sara
How I long to hold you in my arms on these cold winter mornings. I wish I could have the courage to open up to you and let you into my heart, but I just can't. I can't even explain why that is, proberly some genetic gene I guess. I saw you today, for some reason you looked more stunning then I have ever seen you before, you looked so fresh and young, oh so young. Maybe that's why my head won't let me have you. I think you deserve to be loved Sara. You deserve to be treated like a queen; you are one of a kind, unique. And you will always have my heart till the day I die.
G x
Grissom
I think I am going to distant myself from you. Today I saw you with doctor Lurie in the interview room, I was there listening to everything you had to say, and somehow I knew you were talking about me. Why can't you listen to you heart Gil. Being with me isn't going to ruin your career I couldn't ever let that happen. Are you afraid? Are you afraid of letting your walls down and thinking I would walk away? You should know me by now; I would do nothing to hurt you I love you too damn much. I think its time for me to move on, I have realized that it's maybe not meant to be. Maybe this is my destiny to love a man who won't love me back, that refuses to.
Oh I don't know any more Griss, my head is so messed up, if you could see me now, you would proberly run a thousand miles and never come back.
Love Sara xx
Sara,
I'm afraid that I am going to grow old and die a lonely man. It has only dawned on me this day that I have nothing but my work. I have this hole inside of me, which will never be filled until you stand beside me. I think I know what to do about this, but am not sure if I am too late. You seem to have become a lot happier and more confident in yourself and I'm worried that a man has something to do with this. I know I shouldn't say I hope not, but I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy when I think of you with another man, insane isn't it. You are not my property so there's no need to be jealous but you still have my heart and soul, and I think am going to tell you one day soon how I truly feel about you miss sidle.
G x
Gilbert Grissom
Today wow what can I say about today, when you pinned me against that blood soaked sheet, my head swam with thoughts I really shouldn't share. With your body being so close to me I had to hold my breath. I can still feel you so close; it's a shame I had to ruin it with ramberling on about leaving. I wish I could have kissed you; I had to hold myself back, I think you would have just walked away and never looked back to be honest.
Sara xx
My Sara,
I don't think you would ever know how happy I am at this moment in life. I have everything I have ever dreamed of and more. I am glad I finally plucked up the courage to ask you out on a date (date seems such a childish word for what it was) the smile on your face when I told you I'm ready for you to be in my life, made my heart skip a beat. The first time you told me you loved me I thought I would die a happy man right there. Love such a useless word for what we have Sara; we have shared more love than I think is possible. I couldn't believe that I could love someone this much, how my whole being belongs to you. My Sara, you are the only one for me, I think if there is a God he made you to be my other half and me yours. Since the day you appeared in front of me in the lecture hall all those years ago I knew you where the one, and when you left you took my entire heart for that, one day you knew I would come back for it. My darling Sara, I never knew what love was until you took me into your arms, I'm sure our love is far more then the average love is supposed to be. Every time we kiss it's like the first time, every time you hold me. I feel like half of me has gone when you release me. I don't think I could ever explain how deeply you mean to me, I don't think you would ever know how sorry I am for not doing this along time ago, but that's the past. That doesn't mean I can forget what I did to you, but I have made a vow to make that up to you as long as I shall live. I love you so much and I hope one day you will find out how much.
My heart is yours forever darling.
G xx
Gil
I love you
Sara x
Sara
I love you
G x
Grissom smiled softly, knowing how much he hurt her in the past, he knew she had forgiven him with the words in her letters. Standing up Grissom walked towards the bedroom where he left Sara to read his letters and noticed she was leaning against the door frame big smile across her face, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears.
"I can't believe we wrote letters to each other and didn't send them" Sara shook her head half amused.
"Me neither, but I am glad we have shared these with each other, it given me a little more insight of what your complicated mind thinks like" Grissom chuckled wrapping his arms around Sara's waist and kissing her neck softly. No more words were spoken as Grissom showed Sara how he truly felt.
6 weeks on
"Here you go" Sara said placing a cup of coffee and a letter in front of Grissom.
Grissom was sat at the breakfast bar, in what was now his and Sara's home. Seeing the Letter in front of him and immediately noticing Sara's handwriting on the front he raised an eyebrow.
"Just read it," Sara laughed giving Grissom a kiss on the cheek before heading upstairs to get ready for a court appearance. Watching Sara walk off, Grissom sighed happily, knowing he'll never get use to Sara showing of her perfectly sculptured legs. Remembering the letter, Grissom traced his finger lightly over his name, and smiled before reading.
Dear daddy
I won't be here for a while yet, but just wanted to let you know I'll be coming soon and I love you. Im looking forward to us to playing together and having loads of fun.
Maybe you and mommy could read me bedtime stories. Maybe even some of the love letters you wrote to each other.
I love you daddy
Love
Baby Bump xx
Grissom placed the thick card on the table and wiped a small tear from his eyes. Turning around he was about to go find Sara that is until he realised she was standing behind him with a small smile on her face. "'I'm going to be a daddy?"
"Yes you are" Sara grinned after seeing Grissom's eyes light up. Without another word being said Grissom kissed Sara on every inch of her skin available, placing the last one on her Flat stomach.
"So you are okay with this??" Sara asked in-between kisses.
"Ok with this?" Grissom raised his eyebrows. "I am ecstatically happy; it's the best thing that could happen I'm going to be a daddy!"
Sara didn't have anything to say back to that so she just stood there leaning her head on Grissom shoulders one hand on her stomach covering Grissoms.
"I love you" Sara mumbled.
"Oh don't I know it" Grissom grinned before leaning in for another kiss.
The End. Please let me know what you think :)