"Do I even want to know?" Natasha asked, already knowing that she didn't. Unfortunately for her, Coulson had asked her to keep an eye on the team while he went out on assignment for a few days. It had been a rough week for them and the boys decided they needed a night out on the town to relax. Nothing could ever be that simple though, could it?
"Uh, probably not" Steve answered from his seat on the couch. Steve and Clint were seated in Tony's living room, while Tony sat on the coffee table with Bruce standing over him. Bruce appeared to be holding a bag of ice wrapped in a dishtowel to a nasty bruise that was rapidly forming on Tony's forehead.
Coming to stand in front of Tony, she reached up to press on the bruise gently, examining it as Tony hissed in pain.
"Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole?"
"Go away" he groaned, pulling away from her hand and taking the ice pack from Bruce to put it back on his head. "Why are you even here?"
"Because, first I get this video from Clint…" she said, holding her phone out in front of his face. Tony could hear the pounding bass but not much else as the music in the club had been so loud. He saw himself being helped onstage by two women in g-strings and not much else. After standing back and watching them do a few moves on the pole, they stood back and gestured for him to take a turn. His first few revolutions hadn't been bad, but he had tried to hang upside-down and quickly found himself face down on the stage floor. Not his best moment.
"Not long after that, I get a message from Bruce saying I may want to come here and check on you."
"Traitors" Tony mumbled, shooting a dark look at Bruce and Clint. Bruce just shrugged apologetically.
"How could I resist? It was hilarious. I didn't know you were going to faceplant" Clint said, laughing.
"Somehow I don't think Coulson will be thrilled to come back and find you out of commission due to a stripping-related accident" Natasha reprimanded him, sounding like a mother scolding a young child. Unfortunately a child would be easier to look after than Tony Stark.
"I'll have you know I was still fully clothed at the time, thank you" he retorted.
"Probably wouldn't have been for long" Clint added.
"Well now you'll never know, will you?"
"Ok, well can I safely assume you guys are done for the night? No more incidents?" Natasha asked, heading for the door. She wanted nothing more than to just go home and go to bed.
"Yes ma'am" Tony mock-saluted. "And it wasn't my fault. Stripper poles are trickier than you'd think."
"Not if you know what you're doing" she couldn't help but add, raising an eyebrow and smirking as she walked out, closing the door on Tony's surprised expression.