Author's Note: My goodness, I live! I never really intended to write this, as I had the idea randomly ages ago, but after I went back to play a little DW4 and Zhou Tai and SSX both figured it was a fun and exciting idea to keep ganging up on moi (never play an unused officer on hard mode) I gave in. XD (That and I've barely seen this pairing around. Then again I haven't really been checking up, so I may be wrong.) This is more of a quick idea and proof that I'm still writing! Somewhat. I know this is a uberly simple story, but I've been busy. I shall be getting back to moi other DW fic in the near future, so no worries for those of you wondering. Standard disclaimer applies. Those who aren't open minded or don't support ZT X SSX, you're looking in the wrong place. On to the story!
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He noticed her from the very beginning. He noticed, ever since he entered their camp. There was something different--strange, almost foreign, about her. Perhaps it was simply due to how he at first compared her with other women he had encountered. They were always so quiet and obedient. They were almost like dolls. She was not so. Quite the opposite, in fact. She was similar to her eldest brother. Fiery, loud, strong willed--very much a tomboy. At first, he found it odd to be in the presence of such a girl.
She approached him almost immediately when he had been escorted to the Wu encampment. Introduced herself, smiled broadly, and welcomed him in as a new ally of the Sun family.
Zhou Tai simply grunted his response then, ignoring his cheerful comrade and fellow ex-pirate, Jiang Qin. Tai never was one of many words. He found this intimidated many women. Except her. She found it strangely intriguing how someone could stand to sit silently as everyone else was so merrily celebrating.
Sun Shang Xiang plopped down accordingly next to the newcomer, the broad smile never once leaving her face, even when he raised one eyebrow with something close to distain. She thought that he didn't know who she was, so she repeated her name. He responded with little more than a slight nod, and a mutter, which signaled to her that he had heard the first time.
He would admit later that he was rather unnerved at this young woman who had so easily seated herself between him and the comforting edge of the bench. It was uncommon for someone of such a rank to easily approach a significantly lower ranked warrior.
Her amber gaze curiously searched his expression, and several times he glanced over to notice this inspection. Soon enough, he found himself excusing himself from the table, holding in a sigh when she trailed after him.
"What is it?"
His first audibly spoken words to her were nothing short of curt, yet the smile wouldn't leave her face. "What's wrong?" she countered, her head half tilted. As they walked, he noted that she was swinging her arms almost abnormally, giving him the conclusion that she was happy. Very happy. Unnervingly happy.
Why?
Unable to think of a response to either this or her question, he repeated his own. The Wu princess tilted her head to the other side, the smile finally leaving her face. For a split second, he thought that he caught a faint frown flit onto her face, but it disappeared too quickly to be certain. "Oh, nothing, really." she finally responded, adjusting her arms behind her head and stretching a bit as she followed. "I heard some rumors from big brother about how strong you and your friend are, so I guess I'm just kind of happy."
He muttered something about how kind of was an understatement, then proceeded to wonder what exactly those rumors were. He was taken in under Sun Ce's wing to be his bodyguard at first, along with Jiang Qin, yet had a feeling Ce himself had heard little more than rumors of him from his father, Sun Jian. Tai had encountered the Tiger of Jiang Dong a couple of times during his pirate days, he could recall. He had also heard that Jian spoke highly of him, even though Tai was not an ally during his rule. Remembering this, he had a feeling that these so-called rumors that the young woman was speaking about were nothing more than that. Rumors.
He noticed that she was expecting an answer. He simply grunted his response--something that he had learned from long back that usually ended conversations. It was a good signal that he wanted to be left alone. Either she didn't understand, or she didn't care.
He was almost glad when she stopped, letting him take a few paces in front. It went silent for an abnormal pace of time.
The moon shone brightly in the sky, revealing what seemed like an endless ocean of midnight blue. He could only spot a few stars that night. Slowly, he began to lose himself in the space, and almost jumped when she spoke.
"Pretty, isn't it?"
Regaining his composure, he turned back toward her. Her eyes were focused on the moon, and he could catch the slight twinkle of its reflection in her gaze. She smiled again, shifting a little to glance in his direction. He gave a faint nod, allowing one end of his mouth to curl up in a small, tentative grin. He could tell that she noticed when her eyes went wide and she clasped her hands together.
"Oh! Is that a smile I see?" she teased, and he turned aside cooly to hide his expression from her view. This didn't work for long, as she was instantly at his side, taking a hold of his arm and tugging him back around with strength he hadn't suspected such a slender figure could have.
Giving in, he was rewarded with an even brighter smile than he had first seen from the young woman. "Now that's better!"
Finished with her teasing, Sun Shang Xiang released the hold she had on his arm and turned aside, happily returning to the others. He was left there, taking a moment to look back at the stars. Slowly, he raised one hand to his lips, a faint sense of confusion dawning on him. If he had remembered correctly, it had been months before he had last smiled. Months, if not years. Yet, this strange woman had coaxed him into it within the first hour of their encounter.
As a seasoned warrior, he had not had time for much fun and games. Sure, he would drink just as much as his old pirate comrades, but it had never drastically changed his mood. At least not enough to be able to freely smile like all of his comrades.
He turned to glance toward the happy group of his new allies, his gaze both landing and lingering on the Wu princess' form.
---
He watched her fight on the battlefield out of the corner of his eye. At first, it was because he did not want any of his allies to be slain when he could do something to help. Once he found out that she could hold perfectly well enough on her own, it was solely to admire her skill. She fought as bravely as the men of the force, and she was also unnaturally resourceful for the troops. When someone was injured, she would take her time to clear the area and try to help them as much as she could. She would get drenched with blood yet never complain.
He wasn't so sure why he had singled her out.
He noticed that when she saw him, she would always smile. Once, when he moved to assist her, she even stated that she felt much safer by his side. After the battle was over and their victory was achieved, she had taken a few moments of her time to congratulate him alongside the other officers. Again, she had smiled, grabbing one of his hands in hers and shaking it twice. "Thank you so much!" she had said.
"It was nothing." was his response.
Gradually, he found that they would have time to talk more. He was promoted from Ce's bodyguard to an officer himself.
It wasn't only Ce who seemed to take a genuine liking of him. The whole Sun family seemed to appreciate his skill. His sister was always asking him questions about his swordsmanship and how his life was when he was a pirate. She would repeatedly ask about his scars, as well. She would always patiently await his response, no matter how long he seemed like he would stay seated in silence. He would give in eventually, to her delight, and explain every detail to her intent figure. Whenever he was done, she would nod a few times, looking as though she had grown wiser by the second.
He kept a great eye on his leader, Sun Ce, and when Ce was not on the battlefield, he did the same for Sun Quan. Once, he charged to help the leader's younger brother without giving a thought for his own safety. As a result, Quan escaped the battle unharmed and incredibly impressed. Upon their return, both Sun Ce and Shang Xiang immediately went to their brother's side, the latter taking a moment to hug her sibling. Each of them were glad for Quan's safety. Sun Ce took the time to congratulate Zhou Tai as well as promise to promote him further, patting him on the shoulder and laughing heartily as Quan spoke of his own fears on the battlefield.
"Quan, some day you'll be succeeding me too, so you better not wimp out, okay?" Ce said with a grin, though the spark in his eyes clearly showed how worried he had been when he heard about what may have happened. The two brothers merrily went on their ways soon enough, leaving Shang Xiang to turn and fuss over the remaining officer's condition.
Tai had stayed rather quiet during the reunion of the Sun family after the battle, responding only with a grunt when asked if he was well or not. Not noticing that Shang Xiang had remained behind, he took a moment to slump against one of the trees nearby and catch his breath.
"You're bleeding!"
He glanced down and to his side, noticing the Wu princess anxiously looking toward one of his arms, which had a large gash in it. He remembered he had carelessly allowed an archer free access to shoot in his direction when he had charged for Quan's safety. "It's nothing." he managed to state, hiding a faint wince. An arrow wound was trifle, in comparison to what he had gone through before. He felt lucky he had been wearing his armor that day.
He slowly raised his unwounded arm to wipe off a trail of blood which was annoyingly trickling down his face and threatening to enter his eyes. He felt another wound on his face--it wasn't large, but it was deep. He knew it would leave a scar.
He noticed she was still there. "You'll be left behind." he gestured toward the direction her siblings had gone.
"Oh, that's fine, I'll catch up to them. They probably want some time alone for now anyway." she had stepped up to his wounded arm and was tugging at a bag she had beside her. "Here, I'll help you patch up. I owe you that much for saving my brother."
He shrugged. He didn't find the wounds as much of a big deal, aside from how he was beginning to feel slight fatigue from all of the fighting. He especially didn't find these to require the time and attention of one of the highest ranking women in Wu. Tai caught her surprised expression when he tugged his arm aside. "I'm fine." he muttered, standing straight to prove his point. Out of the corner of one eye, he saw her frown. She then started to take out something else from her bag.
Zhou Tai found himself presented with a meat bun, outstretched in the young woman's hands. He blinked once, looking from it to her and then back. "Oh, come on, you can take this at least," she said, raising it to him. He took it after a while of silence, then nodded.
"I appreciate your concern." he stated, watching as her expression brightened. It confused him how her cheerful mood would flicker back and forth almost as quickly as torch lights. Finally taking her actions as courtesy, he allowed her to help tend his wounds after he finished eating.
Time passed. Sun Ce was growing ill, and as each week wore on, the entire Wu encampment was feeling dread. The women, especially Ce's wife, were constantly gathering to see if there was anything they could do to help. While they gathered near the lord's room, Sun Shang Xiang frequented Tai's. For a reason unbeknownst to Zhou Tai himself, she had managed to befriend him and seemed to almost appreciate his company. He watched her eyes light up each time she visited him, and finally admitted to growing accustomed to her company as well.
Gradually, he noticed that he anticipated her return. She would stop by to speak with him at least twice a week, and each time, she would have something else that she wanted to learn. He wasn't much of a teacher, but her curious gaze would never allow him to ignore her questions. Sometimes she even had information to share. It would never amount to much other than idle gossip, but it allowed for the two to spend a few hours together nonetheless. It was a welcome refuge from all of their military efforts.
One time, she visited him with her head lowered. Zhou Tai simply looked her up and down, and shook his head.
She obviously spotted the movement. "Hm?"
"What's wrong?" he finally spoke.
Shang Xiang took a seat in the room, her trademark smile nowhere to be seen. She sighed deeply, then spoke. "Big brother's not feeling well... We've been talking about this, and..."
He watched quietly as she visibly drooped.
"Oh, I don't know..." she finished, shaking her head. "It just..doesn't look like he'll get better." she turned her gaze to his. "What do I do?"
He pondered for a moment. When his allies had been taken by the battlefield, he of course had felt pangs of sadness and regret. Yet, this wasn't quite the same. She knew that she would be losing her close relative--and the current leader of Wu. It was horribly disheartening. He had no kind words to offer her. He simply spoke what was on his mind. "Be strong."
She seemed to let the words sink in for some time before she slowly nodded, a faint smile flickering onto her face. "That's right. I have to be strong."
Shang Xiang stood up, brushing herself off and raising a clenched fist.
"I'll be strong. For his sake, too." there was an extended pause, then, "Thank you."
When she left the room, he felt as though he had said the wrong thing. The smile had been somewhat reassuring, but he had noticed something in her eyes. Had he disappointed her? He had had answers to all of her questions, yet this time...
His answer was made clear the following week. Ce passed due to his illness and fatigue, and all of Wu mourned the loss of such a inspiring figure. Sun Quan took over officially, but even he would not leave his room for the day, instead spending the time to grieve over his older brother. Everyone had their eyes lowered that day, and Ce's wife and her sister openly bawled loudly with each other in front of his room. Rumors even said that the strategist Zhou Yu would not leave his room for the day in fear of breaking down in public.
Tai had left his quarters after the news, wishing to take in a breath of fresh air. The weather was cloudy, the sky joining with the people in their mourning. It was right when he was about to step outside that he heard footsteps running behind him. He turned, but not quickly enough to avoid somebody crashing straight into him. The impact forced him to take a few steps back, and he stepped a couple more times to allow the figure access outside as well.
He looked down to see who had the misfortune of slamming into him, and paused. He recognized her from her clothing and her hair, but had he first looked at her face, he would have had to check twice.
Shang Xiang stepped back a little, lifting her gaze slightly to meet his. "I--I'm sorry, Zhou Tai," she started, rubbing at her eyes.
She had obviously been crying. Crying for a good, long while, as her eyes were red and her face slightly puffy from being rubbed too much. Simply put, she looked as miserable as she must have felt.
"I didn't mean to crash into you. I was just trying to go outside to... to..." her sentence failed, and she shook her head, rubbing at her eyes again.
He watched her as she managed to prop herself up against a wall, her arms drooping to her sides.
"I look horrible, don't I?" she mumbled.
He couldn't deny it. He nodded. She shrugged faintly, unsurprised at his bluntness.
"Anyway, I'm sorry." she said.
"Don't be."
He watched as the tears welled up around her eyes again, and she tried desperately to rub them away. He felt the wind pick up, and frowned as she continued to sniffle.
"You're going to get sick." he added in.
"I'll be fine."
Her words were quick and half-hearted, and after she began rubbing at her face again, he finally moved up to her, taking her arm and forcing it down. "Don't do that. You'll draw blood."
She lifted her other arm weakly, but he brought it down with his opposite hand. Defeated, she slumped, lowering her gaze. It seemed like an eternity passed before she spoke, her words shaky, "I'm sorry."
"I said not to wor--"
"I mean, for this."
Zhou Tai raised an eyebrow, and she continued, her voice going softer with each word.
"You said that I should be strong... I wanted to be, I really did! I just... brother's..."
Her eyes closed, and he watched her quietly.
He watched her breathe, each soft breath shaky. He watched the rise and fall of her bosom, and the faint puff of smoke released from her lips with each exhale. He could feel her trembling under his grip, and he was tempted to release her. He didn't, for fear she would return to her rubbing. It was as if he was watching a completely different woman from who he had seen months back--even days back.
Tears were returning to her face, and he frowned once more. She was speaking again, her words broken and barely audible. "Father already...and now brother...it's just not fair..."
He realized that her father had also been the leader of Wu and was buried not too long ago. He could truly only vaguely sympathize as to how the young woman felt. Tai released one of her arms, lifting one finger to gently wipe away the tears which were threatening to overflow on her face. Her eyes fluttered open, and she murmured something that he couldn't hear. "Don't rub." he warned, dropping her second arm. He noticed a light red mark on her wrist, and only then did he realize how tightly he had been gripping her. She nodded in response to this, then sniffled.
He found her in his arms a brief moment later, sobbing freely into his chest. He wasn't sure if she had leapt to him, or if he had pulled her to him himself. All he knew was between then and now, she had crossed closer then ever before. He lifted one hand to her head, stroking her hair as he looked up into the sky. He could predict it would rain soon enough. She was apologizing again, he wasn't sure what for.
For some strange reason, her sobs were beginning to affect him as well. He wasn't about to shed tears, but he could feel an overwhelming feeling of sorrow well up in himself. Ce had been a good leader, he knew, and he would be missed. Yet, there was something else that was driving this sudden wrench of emotion, and he pondered as to what it was.
He realized it when she looked up toward him again, her face soaked with tears. He looped his arm around her, preventing her from moving from her spot, in case she would start rubbing her face again, then brushed the small droplets aside with his free hand yet again. Her eyes tracked his hand's movement for a moment, then shut slowly.
He realized it when he had to utilize all his self control not to lower his hand to trace her lips--not to trail his fingers up and down her tear-stained face...
Her lips were slightly open, almost inviting him to take advantage of the moment. He wanted to bring her closer--wanted to erase her sorrow-- He wanted her as his own. He desperately craved to feel her lips on his; to kiss away all her salty tears and tell her that everything would be alright. Once, he even moved forward, his face lingering only an inch away from hers. She didn't move, and in the silence, he felt how much she trusted him. Her eyes stayed shut, tears slowly welling up in their corners once more. He could feel her breath on his lips; the soft puffs of their breathing mingling in the air together.
How would she feel if he was to tell her how he felt? How exactly did he feel?
How would she react if he were to bring her close to himself and utter how much he cared? Would she shun him? Claim that he was simply taking advantage of the moment? Would it increase her tears? Or would she accept the fact that her lowly officer was in fact, interested in her?
As the realization dawned on him, he all but dropped his hold on her. It was true that she was a warrior, an officer of Wu just like he was. It was also true that she was a princess. He did not deserve her--he could not.
Her eyes opened immediately as his hold on her loosened. If it wasn't that she was holding onto him just as tightly, she would have stumbled back a few steps.
The first thing she said was that she was sorry. The words were all but numb from overuse, but she said them anyway. Then she let him go, attempting a small smile. He noticed the sorrow didn't fade from her eyes as she glanced up toward the sky, then back at him. The last thing she said was thanks. He watched as she rushed back inside. The moment her figure left his sight, it began to rain.
Words lingered on the tip of his tongue. He willed himself to stay quiet--for her sake just as well as his own. He realized that she was everything, and realized he never wished to see her sorrow again.
---
Sun Quan was somewhat confused when he approached him the next day. He had spoken with the little brother of the former leader of Wu countless times, but never much unless he was called upon. Quan had much faith in him, he knew, due to his valiant success in defending Quan in the earlier battle. He wondered if it in part also had anything to do with his close friendship with the leader's sister.
"Oh, Zhou Tai!"
Tai could see that not even the new leader of Wu had completely recovered from the loss of his brother. His expression was bright, yet his eyes were slightly red from the night before. He swung his hand out in a wide gesture to wave the man in.
Quan graciously accepted Tai's offer to be something like a personal bodyguard. He mentioned that he had wanted to ask of his services before, yet he had been a little wary for such favors. With his permission, he would personally request for Tai's help in any major battles should they occur. He seemed to be enthused at the prospect of having such a valiant warrior at his disposal.
After a short chat with his new leader, Zhou Tai excused himself. His job was done.
It was the least he could do for her. If her brother's passing was to emit so much sorrow from her, he would do his best to make sure that she wouldn't have to suffer through that again. Whatever happened, he was going to make sure that Sun Quan would not get hurt.
---
A few months passed, and Shang Xiang had returned to her normal self, happily waving him down when she had the chance, and occasionally taking time from her day to visit him. Her questions switched from his distant past to current battles, as she would barely see him when he was near Sun Quan in camp. He watched her gush about how everyone was so strong, and how she was so happy to have him near her brother. She thanked him almost every time they met, lavishing almost unnecessary praise. If he disagreed with her words, she would only tell him that he was being modest.
Each time he saw her, he felt an unexplainable warmth envelop his senses. She would take a seat, clasp her hands together, and give him a smile that was endearing in every manner. Yet, he said nothing of his feelings, and instead continued every day as he always did. Only silently would he admire her. It was if she were a goddess figurine encased in glass. He could ask for nothing more than to simply look at her, and even doing so was a great honor.
A few times he dreamed about her. He would finally drop his poker face and tell her all that he had kept inside. She would simply smile, then shake her head. Once, she even grew angry. She wouldn't accept him, even in his dreams. It was better that way.
He didn't want her to grow distant.
"Geez, you've been quieter than ever lately," her voice entered his thoughts, and he took a moment to glance at her. A faint pout had crossed her expression, and he shrugged.
"There's just nothing to say."
"Oh phooey to that!" she put her hands to her hips, standing as he stayed seated so she could loom over him. "There's plenty to talk about!"
She wondered what was wrong as she looked down at him. When he wore his armor, his face was hidden so well in the shadows. She couldn't tell what he was thinking. He liked it that way.
When he grunted his response, she sat back down, rolling her eyes. "You're hopeless."
He didn't speak then, but he responded in his mind as he shifted his gaze toward her. "Maybe I am."
---
A few days later, the people of Wu gathered for a victory celebration. Zhou Tai excused himself rather quickly, not taken in to too much cheer. They had been lucky enough not to get attacked while celebrating before, but he knew to be on guard at all times. He could see Sun Quan taking notice of his leave, and soon enough Sun Shang Xiang had trailed out to coax him back.
"Why are you going outside now? Did you finish eating?"
He shrugged a bit. "Not hungry."
"Why not join in the celebration? Brother wants you to, too."
"Later."
The young woman frowned, coming up to his side. He stopped walking, and instead shifted so he could look down toward her. "Oh, come on, Zhou Tai," she tried, "Can't we be cheerful for once? We're not on the battlefield!" her eyes were searching his. "Please? For me?"
He took a deep breath, the words affecting him more than she would know. For her, he would do anything.
She moved to take his arm, turning him around so they could start back inside. Quietly, he spoke. "Princess, why do you take time to speak with me?"
She paused mid-step, her eyes widening once. To his surprise, she dropped his arm, then ran up in front of him, lifting one finger in the air in a scolding fashion. "Hey! What do you mean by that?"
As he looked down toward her now-curious gaze, he shrugged. His former leaders and their families prior to Wu had never bothered with him before. Yet, she would look him straight in the eyes, treating him as if they were on the same level of standing. He knew that had she not done such, he would not feel for her so greatly.
Her expression softened, and she glanced aside once, almost as if to gather her words. When she returned her gaze to his, she spoke, "You're a part of Wu, just as much as any of us. Princess or not, I don't like having to put my standing ahead of my friends."
He lifted one eyebrow at her words. "We are friends?"
She went silent for a while, then burst out laughing. "Oh, don't be joking! Of course we are, silly! We all are." to prove her point, she gestured at the other officers, merrily chatting and drinking alongside their leader. "Right? We're all united in the same cause. That's all that's important."
Zhou Tai took everything in slowly. All of the Sun family were like that, speaking to everyone, officers or not, directly and without matter to rank. They welcomed people in as allies just like...family.
He wondered if she thought of him like family too. He wondered if, should he to pass, she would shed tears for him as well.
"Oh, there you go again." she said, shaking her head at his sudden silence. "Brighten up, will you?"
Slowly, almost without even noticing himself, he graced her with his small smile that only she was able to produce from him.
---
It was exactly a month later when she didn't appear to visit him at her usual time. He suspected that she was busy, and that she would stop by later. She didn't. He began to wonder what was wrong when she didn't appear for an entire week. He didn't even spot her whenever he exited his quarters. A week and a half later, he heard a familiar knock on his door, and allowed her to enter, as she normally did. He found it odd that her greeting was quiet, and that she was not smiling. She took a moment before speaking.
"Hello," she stated, a mischievous grin appearing on her face, "Did you miss me?"
He simply shrugged his response, noticing her expression dim out of the corner of his eye.
"Sorry that I haven't had a chance to come by for a while. Brother and I have been..discussing a few things."
She must have noticed that she had sparked a bit of interest in the man, as she leaned forward a little to continue.
"Zhou Yu and he decided that I'm going to be married."
The words sounded so casual coming from the young woman. It took a moment for them to register in his mind. He almost forgot to breathe. Hiding his confusion, he asked the only question that came to mind. "With whom?"
"Liu Bei, of Shu." She shrugged, clasping her hands together and lifting her arms over her head lazily. "Zhou Yu insists that it will be a good way to ally with their army."
"Ah."
He could sense her gaze upon him as he turned aside. Inside, he felt completely blank, he himself unable to distinguish his own feelings.
So, the princess would finally be wed. It wasn't surprising, he knew. Many people married to form alliances with other armies. He had just not expected that she would be one of them. He had also not expected it would happen so soon. He slowly realized that he had known her for quite some time now. She was easily at a marriageable age.
Her gaze wasn't turning, so he finally brought his own to meet hers. It was then when she spoke. "What do you think?"
He blinked. "What do you mean by what do I think?"
"Oh, well, you know..." she gestured a few times with her hands, and he knew that she had no clue how to explain.
He pursed his lips together, willing coherent thought back to his mind. "I think..." The blankness in his mind collapsed all at once, tossing incomprehensible phrases at him at a furious speed. The sudden flow of words rendered him quiet once more, letting the silence reign for a good long minute. She was patiently awaiting his response as she usually did. The jumbles in his mind slowly translated themselves, and he spoke, keeping completely expressionless. "I think that it will be an asset to Wu. The strategist's word must have been thought thoroughly."
He noticed that she visibly drooped at his words, and cursed at himself inwardly. The jumbled thoughts in his mind slowly cleared as she shifted. When she looked toward him, the smile had returned to her face. "Yeah." she said, her voice unnaturally soft. "Yeah... I think so too." Her voice slowly grew louder, returning to her normal speaking level, "I had a feeling you would say something like that." she leaned back a bit, wrapping her arms around her knees and rocking back and forth. "I think that's part of the reason why I came to ask you first."
He let her sit silently for a moment before questioning, "When will you be going?"
"Tomorrow, actually. Short notice huh? It's going to be kind of hard to adjust, I think. I've lived here all my life, and suddenly I'll be whisked off to another camp, just like that!" she snapped her fingers. He watched her smile lessen, her expression somewhat wistful. "It's okay, really. But... I have to admit that I'm kind of sad. I mean, I'm getting married to someone I don't even know. I've heard that Lord Liu Bei is a great man, and I've seen him a couple of times on the battlefield, but..."
He nodded once. It wasn't only she who felt awkward. The young woman who had apparently captured his own heart was being wed off to a man that he had also only heard rumors of. All he could say was, "Do not worry about us. I will allow no harm to come to your brother in your absence."
She nodded, burying her face in her knees. "I know... I know that. You'll all be strong, even if I'm not here."
To his surprise, she laughed quietly.
"I just feel that it's weird to be leaving to marry someone before I even had a chance to confess to my crush here in Wu."
He lowered his gaze. He had never considered that the young woman would be thinking of another man in their ranks. There were plenty of eligible men, truth be told. It was especially true for her, as she was one of the few female officers and thus close to many of the men. The simple statement allowed for more jumbled phrases to mix into his mind, and he shook them aside. It would be close to impossible to guess who it was, yet he had a strange curiosity on what man had truly wooed the warrior princess. He felt a pang of familiar sympathy for the young woman, who was unable to stay with her own beloved. Attempting to lighten to mood even slightly, he spoke, "So even our warrior princess had a crush. I find this hard to believe."
She smiled. "I may be a bit of a tomboy, but that doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to look!"
"He must be a lucky man."
Her smile faded slightly. "I guess. Though he would never think of me as anything other than a little brat, I know."
He lifted his eyebrow. To his knowledge, he had not known of any man who would think of her as such. Potential suitors came to mind, but the list was too large for him to follow. He was not one to stalk her to see whom she met, either, so he concluded that the range must be undoubtedly high. Still, he would not leave her dejected, and casually remarked, "I doubt that would be the case. You're a very skilled woman, and I'm sure that any man can see that."
The words did the trick, and she immediately seemed to brighten. "You think so?" She didn't wait for him to respond, and instead shut her eyes as she spoke, clutching her hands close to her chest. "If it was that I was to stay in Wu, I wish I could have stayed with him. It's okay if it didn't end up in a relationship, I just would like to be by his side. I see him almost every week, and even though we don't do much other than talk... I don't know. I always looked forward to being near him, I guess."
He watched her, silently. The man she was referring to was indeed lucky, he concluded. He wondered if they suspected. He wondered if they had fallen for her as he himself had so many months before. He came to wonder if he would ever see her again after the next day.
"He's really strong, you know," she continued, "One of the strongest men in our ranks, I'd say. Brother likes him too. He usually doesn't show it, but he's really sweet."
He wondered why she continued to gush about this unnamed figure. If the speaker were any other person, he would have promptly escorted them out by then. He noticed that she was growing quieter as time passed though, and soon enough her words were barely audible.
"It's okay though," she managed to state. He could hardly hear her. "I have to fulfill my duty to father and brother, and to Wu as a whole. This is the best I can do."
He noticed that she was beginning to cry. His heart went out to her, yet he didn't budge, afraid that if he moved to comfort her, he would not be able to release her again. He found himself speaking, "Why not tell him how you felt?"
She paused from her quiet sobbing, raising a questioning gaze to him.
"At least then you will know you haven't left anything behind."
Slowly, a smile appeared on her face. "...you're right. I should, but... don't you think it'd make tomorrow hurt even more?"
He knew that what she spoke was the truth. He didn't bother to deny it. "Do what you feel is best."
"Thank you." She stood up, her expression returning to normal as she wiped aside her tears. "I think I'll get ready for the big day tomorrow for now." she tilted her head. "You'll come to see me off?"
"If you wish it so."
"Please." she stated, turning toward the door. She walked to it, then paused, lifting her hand to pull it open. Her arm dropped slowly before she did. "I'll miss you."
Both instinct and pure logic told him that it was the last time that he would speak with her. He would not be visiting the Shu camp, if he were to protect the leader Sun Quan. She would more than likely stay at the Shu camp, and if she was to return, she would be escorted by her to-be husband at all times. It would be, at the very least, the last time that he could speak to her one on one. He wanted to say something, yet all words caught in his throat.
Luckily, she seemed to be awaiting a reply. It took him a long while to speak, quietly and with as much respect as he could muster.
"We will be praying for your happiness."
It was then that she turned back toward him, shaking her head. At first he thought the movement was directed toward his words, and then he noticed a tear fall from her cheek to the floor. "I can't go yet. I have to say it." she said, running up to where he was seated. Bewildered yet still poker faced, he stood up.
She was looking up at him with a strangely sad but determined expression on her face.
"Sit down, please." she said, and he did so, too confused to argue with her request.
"Is there something wrong?"
He watched her as she looked down at him, barely standing a few inches taller than him even while he was seated on the thick mat. He took her image in, trying to lock it into his memory as she continued to eye him with an odd flicker of determination clear in her gaze. He wondered what it was that she was thinking.
She adjusted herself so she could place one hand on his shoulder. Then, she placed the other on his opposite shoulder. He felt somewhat strange, able to feel the woman's touch only faintly through his shoulder pads. She was closer now, the look of determination starting to become overrun by sorrow. He noted that she wouldn't respond to his question, so he repeated it. Her only response was a shake of the head.
Slowly, he lifted one hand to hers on his shoulder. She flinched visibly at the contact, then began to manage a smile. "Zhou Tai?"
"Yes, princess?"
"I'm sorry..."
He felt, rather than saw, her movement, closing the distance between them as she leaned forward to exchange a kiss. It was over before he realized what had happened, and by then she had moved a good couple of inches from his face. When he looked at her, he could see her face was flushed, her eyes half open and visibly looking toward the ground. He suddenly realized that she had been referring to himself earlier on.
He lifted his hand from hers, his finger tracing the trail of her now slowly drying tears. His opposite arm brought her closer, and he leaned up to whisper into her ear.
"Don't be."
He felt her body tremble when he ran his mouth across her jaw, pausing to wait for her acceptance before he allowed their lips to meet once again. This time he took hold of her completely, extending his gesture of love for as long as either could manage. She broke away after a while, stopping to catch her breath and almost sinking into him with a quiet sigh.
He licked his lips--she tasted salty from her tears. Shang Xiang slowly smiled, moving her hands from his shoulders to give him a tight squeeze.
As he looked toward her, he wished with all his heart that time would stop. He shifted both arms loosely around her, cradling her and taking the feeling in. He knew it wouldn't last, but he never wanted to forget her warmth.
"Thank you, love." she stated softly, resting her head on his chest for only a moment before pulling away. "For everything."
He let her go, giving her a nod. He couldn't think of anything further to speak. Her smile told him that she knew this as well. She left the room shortly after, and he lifted his hand to his lips, as he had done the first day that he had met her. He was finally able to be content. Even if he had lost his woman to a man of high status, he knew that he would always have his own place in her heart. He couldn't ask for anything more.
---
The next day, everyone was gathered to see the lady off in her carriage to the Shu encampment. Teary farewells were bade by the women, and Sun Quan held his sister for a long time before he let her proceed. Sun Shang Xiang kept her smile on her face, reassuring everyone that she would do her best to adapt in her new surroundings. She promised them that she would return to visit if she could, and that she would miss them.
Zhou Tai stayed away from the crowd the entire time, leaning against a sturdy tree a little ways from the others. He had come to keep his promise to see her off, but there were so many people and too little time to exchange any words with her. It was when she got up into the carriage that she spotted him, and he saw her expression brighten. She smiled broadly at him, and waved. He lifted his hand faintly, and nodded.
As the carriage rode off, he turned to leave. Sun Quan stopped him mid-way, waving him down and walking beside him as he returned to the camp. The men were silent for the majority of time, but finally Quan spoke. His voice was quiet and not accusing in the least.
"You loved her, didn't you?"
Zhou Tai stopped, but didn't respond.
"I'm sorry." Quan continued. "It was Zhou Yu's plan. We needed this to be on good terms with Shu."
"My thoughts are for the betterment of Wu. If allying with Shu will achieve the goal, I have no complaints." was Tai's response.
He noticed Quan's hesitation. "Zhou Tai... you're one of my most trusted generals. I trust you with my life. I would have trusted my sister to you any day, had the situation been different."
To Tai's amazement, he turned to see his lord bowing his head down graciously.
"Please accept my apologizes."
Zhou Tai slowly nodded, reaching over to give the other man a friendly pat on the shoulder. "Don't do that. It isn't your fault." he paused, then added, "It isn't anyone's fault."
In the end it wasn't anyone's fault but his own that he had happened to fall for the Wu princess. He knew that more than anybody. He also knew more than anybody that they would never be.
He lifted his gaze to the sky, noticing that it was just starting to grow dark. He could pick out a few stars shining in the distance alongside the bright moon, and slowly, a small smile appeared on his face. He could hear her words in the back of his mind, just as she had said the first day they had met.
--"Pretty, isn't it?"--
He wondered if she was looking at those same stars as well.
--FIN--