"Hey, Parker."
"What?" Parker sharply drew his head up from its resting position of hanging against his chest as though there were an invisible noose around his neck. "Jesus, Abe. You startled me. At least give me some kinda warning before coming up behind me like that." He sighed. "Anyways, what's your deal?"
From what Parker could see in the dusky light, Abraham looked a little bashful. "Nothin', really. I dunno. I thought you were awake. Sorry for bothering you."
"Oh, come on, Abe, I don't buy that for a second. What's up?"
Abraham looked up at the sky, which was starting to turn a muted purple color as the sun slowly crept up on the horizon. Neither had any idea what time it was. "I think I'm losing my mind, Parker. Like, it's just so fucking quiet. I haven't see Garraty or McVries for awhile and I'm gettin' kind of worried. I keep thinking about how one of you could just drop dead and I wouldn't even fucking know."
"That's morbid." Parker snickered, then quickly turned to seriousness. "Hell, I think everybody's feeling like that. Something about this time of night, probably. And I saw McVries and Garraty a little while ago. They're practically stuck together with goddam superglue, so if you see one, you see the other too."
"What about Baker?"
"I think he's up there in the front somewhere. Can't tell. But he ain't dead, that's for sure. The shots, Abe, remember? Nobody's dead unless you hear a gunshot."
Abraham was silent for the next couple of seconds. "Thanks, Parker."
"Any time."
"Parker, you ever think about back home? Back when we weren't in this thing? It feels like fucking forever ago."
"Sure. My sisters probably miss me a helluva lot."
"You got sisters?"
"Four. All little. The youngest's a baby."
Abraham laughed. "Little sisters, huh? See, Parker, I think I'm losing it, because all the sudden I don't really miss anybody. Like, my girl? I don't give a shit about her anymore. That sounds cold, but I'm just...I dunno, being on this thing...I dunno if I believe in love anymore. I don't really believe in anything anymore."
Parker stretched his hands up behind his head, feeling his joints crack. "Hey, Abe, I think I figured out the psych stuff behind the Walk."
"Yeah? Tell me your wisdom, Collie." He laughed, and Parker couldn't help but notice that he'd gone from Parker to Collie.
"Well, ya know, after being in something like this, the only person you could ever feel a goddam inch of love for is somebody who knew who what you were going through then, ya know? But you won't be able to, at the end, because everybody else on the Walk is dead."
"Jesus, and you called me morbid."
"I know, I know, but listen, Abe. What if you broke the Walk? What if you just tried to have a Walk with two winners? Like, you held each other's hands and said if you shot one of ya, you'd have to shoot the other at the same time. Nobody with a goddam conscience'd be able to do that. Right, Abe? Right?"'
"They'd shoot both of you right there." Abraham laughed his big, bellowing laugh. "Those soldiers don't have a conscience, Collie. I don't think we do anymore either, you know. Not anymore."
"But it's possible, isn't it?"
"I guess. Collie, can I ask you something kinda...weird?"
"Nothing's weird with you anymore."
Abraham laughed again, then fell silent. "What do you think of me?"
"What the hell do you mean by that? You're Abe. I think that of you. You're Abe."
"I'm not a mind reader, Collie."
"I dunno...you're...you're the kinda guy I would've been pals with back in Illinois, you know? I dunno how to explain it. I'm a mean son of a bitch. I don't say that about a lot of folks, I guess." Parker rubbed his eyes, trying to keep himself awake. "You're not like anybody else I've ever met before. You're Abe." Abraham's silence wasn't very comforting, and Parker found himself trying to talk to fill the space between them. "You're Abe. You've got, like...I don't know, fuckin' honor and chivalry in you. Like you care a lot. And that's good. You get what I'm saying?"
More silence. And then "How the hell do you do it, Parker?"
"What do you mean?"
"How the hell do you manage to tell the truth all the time?"
Parker shrugged. Abraham was gawking at him like he was a zoo animal. "Musketeers forever, Abe, remember? We made an oath. Musketeers forever." He smiled wryly, trying to cover up the fact that he was worried. Jesus, he was really worried for Abraham, like a concerned brother or something. No, not a brother...that was weird. Something different than a brother. Somewhere between the lines of 'friend' and 'boyfriend.' Not that he would have ever told Abe that.
A sort-of smile played on Abe's lips finally, like he caught the emotion in Parker's tone. "Yeah. Right. The musketeers."
Aw, hell, Parker thought. He's got a nice smile. Maybe I oughta tell him if what I said is true about the Walk, I think the only person I could ever love after this would be you, Abe.
"Yeah. Get some sleep, Abe. I'll poke ya if you start going under the limit."
"Thanks, Parker," he said for the second time that night.
"Welcome, Abe."
I'll just tell him tomorrow, Parker thought. The thought that there wouldn't be a tomorrow for him didn't occur to him.