Notes: Again, got bored : p. It's choppy…really choppy…but what do ya think? Eh…not too harsh people…first time for SXA…Thanks to my friend again : ), who hates to be called a marine.

Disclaimer: Don't own, never have. Eiichiro Oda owns them.

Summary: Pirates can be annoying to Marines, so can love…Smoker & Ace fluff : ) One-Shot.

Rating: M—to be safe

Smoke Can't Catch Fire

Standing in the middle of the street with blood spats on your body wasn't the brightest idea, then again we're talking about one of the not so brightest pirates…including his brother. As he mumbled something about how he shouldn't have done this or that, he turned his vision to the side, seeing someone else standing there. A tall Marine, grey-white hair, unshaven, two cigars placed tightly between his teeth, and his Marine attire of a white and black jacket, with cigars lining the left side, dark pants, boots and gloves. His facial expression was one of annoyance.

" Not too bright are you, Portgas D. Ace?"

" Oi, give me some credit for just figuring that one out…" Ace frowned as he stared at the Marine for a bit, before turning attention back to trying to wipe the blood from his arms and face with spit. Smoker rolled his eyes, walked closer to him and held out a small towel. Ace looked at him, skeptical. " Helping a pirate out, are we?"

" I'm giving it to you so you don't draw attention towards yourself…" frowned Smoker, not in the mood for either Ace's games or his little brother (who had arrived on this island as well). Although, it's "not" like Ace hasn't drawn attention to himself before…

Ace smiled slightly, not in happiness, but in sheer mockery, " How sweet of you, Smoker!" He took the towel and started to wipe the blood from his arms, but soon after turned to look at the Marine that still stood over his shoulder.

" What?"

" Will you wipe the blood from my face?" The smile had still not left Ace's face and Smoker wanted to break that smile so badly. Grinding his teeth upon his cigars, he took a hold of the towel that he had given Ace, took a hold of Ace's chin in his other hand and turned to face him. Regretting ever coming to this island, he started to wipe away the blood specks that spotted the pirate's face, mixing with his freckles. And as he did this, he just continued to think of how annoying this was going to end up. " Hey…"

" What now…?" growled Smoker as he got the final specks of the blood off Ace's face.

" As a Marine…I'm sure you earn a lot of money…mind treating this pirate to some food…?"

Thoughts of consequences of what could happen began to run through his mind, but then another thing ran through his mind. If he didn't treat Ace to something to eat…then maybe Ace just won't go away…that's a good possibility. Debating over whether he should risk other Marines seeing him with a pirate or having Ace follow him all day asking for free food was no big debate at all. Besides, he had another chance at capturing Ace. Grumbling slightly, "…sure…why not."

He let Ace pick out the place, pick out what he wanted, and Smoker ordered what he wanted. The Marine could really care less about how many people saw him at the moment, as soon as Ace ate; it'd be one big fight. Once the food came, it was just pure annoyance.

" You know I never understood this…" mumbled Ace over his food, spiting pieces in Smoker's face, mostly by accident, " are people…people come and go, but no matter where they go, they're always so rude…" He shoved more food in his mouth and Smoker just watched, almost in disgust as he ate his food. He listened though. " Take you for an instance…you're treating me rather nicely, but I know you're doing this because part of you can't stand me…

" Part of you…" another swallow and mouthful, " keeps telling yourself 'Ehhh…arrest him now and smack him in the back of the head, then at least he'll shut up and I won't have to hear it!'" Ace laughed at his own stupid impression of Smoker then drank some water, his smile returned as his voice lowered to a dull whisper, " And…there's another part of you is like: 'Oh God…how much I would just want him in my bed right now, and fuck his tight ass!'…" That last part wasn't any sign of softness at all.

Smoker choked on his water as soon as Ace said it and could feel the staring eyes piercing holes through both of them.

Ace soon finished, smiling gently, " Ahhh good…I'm surprised at you, Smoker, you know? Having the guts to have lunch in the middle of the day in the middle of a filled restaurant with a pirate…"

Secretly Smoker thought, 'So you'd go away…', but what came out of his mouth was, " I'll do what I want…" Ace's smile turned into a grin as he leaned against the table then went to reach across to touch the Marine's face. Smoker pulled away. "…what?" Ace didn't reply, just reached out and gently caressed the side of his face. That caused Smoker to frown, but he didn't do anything about it. Suddenly, then the pirate pulled back his hand and smacked the Marine, right across the face when his fingers were ignited with flames.

Smoker sighed slightly, being pushed ever so slightly, but didn't show that he was bothered by it, " You're pushing your welcome…"

" I am?" smiled Ace as he just stared at him. The pirate just rubbed his nose slightly, stood up, stretched and pulled his hat back on. " Oh…alright, well I'm done…it was a really good meal, thank you." And like that Ace walked right passed him.

Not anymore than a hour later, did Smoker's day really start to get worse. He must've missed the Straw Hats leaving, but something else happened.

" Ehh…oi! Didn't I just run into you like an hour ago?"

Smoker turned to see who it was, oh great…he raised his brow, looking at Ace, " Just about, yes…"

" Don't you have other people to bother?" Ace laughed, " Ohh…or is it cause you like to stalk me?"

Smoker frowned, " Who's to say it's not you who's stalking me?"

" Ahh…probably because," Ace replied putting his hands behind his head, " I try to avoid Marines as best as possible…"

" Well you're not doing such a great job at it, are you?"

Ace frowned, " I don't stalk Marines." He sighed and made his way over to Smoker, grabbing the collar of his jacket tightly. " I still think it's because you want me." Yanking him down, he pressed his lips forcefully against Smoker's, pushing his tongue inside his mouth, tasting nicotine as he explored.

Pushing him away, Smoker growled, " Get away from me." The Marine turned and walked the other way…and again…did it happen.

" Shesh…we got to stop doing this…"

Smoker frowned again, this time it was starting to irritate him, the third time in one day, how is that possible? " Are you sure you're not staling me?"

" Positive, I'm heading out this time…" Ace replied, " before…I just felt like wandering…who knows how long it'll be until you see me again…"

" Oh…I don't know how I'll ever survive…" growled Smoker and Ace came over to him again and went to kiss him, but Smoker pulled away.

" Just a goodbye kiss?"

He was twitching now and half of his mind was pretty much just begging him to kill Portgas D. Ace at this very moment. Without moving, he let the pirate get close enough so he could give him a small kiss on the cheek and then there was a clicking noise. He looked down to see that Ace had handcuffed his own belt loop to the Marine's.

Ace smiled innocently, well as innocent as he could get, " Now you have to come with me."

" I don't think so," he frowned, pulling Ace along with him as he started to walk. " If you don't undo the handcuffs, you'll have to come with me constantly."

" I bet you'll like that one," Ace kept his innocent smile as he put his hands in his pockets. " Sooo…what are you doing? Patrolling?"

"Something like that…"

" H-hey! This doesn't look like patrolling!" yelled Ace as Smoker pulled both of them into a deserted alleyway. He sat down suddenly, pulling Ace harshly to the ground.

" Nah, I feel like sitting now."

" Why? Afraid to have people see you with a pirate hooked to your pants?"

Smoker shook his head, " No."

" Then what?" asked Ace but Smoker wouldn't reply, just stared at the wall in front of him, totally ignoring the pirate beside him, until…well until Ace fell asleep against his arm. Smoker's eye twitched slightly as he reached over and removed the keys from the sleepy pirate and then switched it, so Ace's hand was handcuffed to his own. A couple of hours passed before Ace had woken up, " Aww…that felt good!"

" Sleep well?" asked Smoker as all Ace did was nod. " That's good." It didn't matter to him anymore, he had Ace and he wasn't going to let him get away this time. Then all that would remain would be to capture Monkey D. Luffy and then he would be happy.

" Oh…I should probably be going," said Ace as he stood up, only to be yanked back down.

" One last thing…" he said as he crushed his lips against Ace's. He explored every little bit of the pirate's mouth, enjoying it as much as he had before when Ace started it. After pulling away and enjoying those few satisfying seconds, Smoker stood up, yanking Ace with him.

" Wha…?" asked Ace a little confused, but Smoker didn't reply, just pulling him along with him as he headed back towards the Marine ship. " Oi!! This isn't fair!"

But all's fair in love and war.