A/N: I know I said I wouldn't be post any new stories until I got my old ones sorted, but I figured I'd have one up as sort of a comeback piece. I know there are a lot of Shika/Naru which go like this, but I just had to write my own... version of it, I guess? Characters may seem ooc, especially Naruto, but please keep in mind that this is a fanfiction.
I'll keep my A/N short, since there really isn't too much to say... so I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer:I do not own Naruto, or any of the characters.
Warning: This is Boy x Boy (Yaoi), and there are mentions of prostitution here, so if those things offend you, please kindly press the back button.
October 10th.
The dreaded day the Kyuubi attacked the village of Konoha.
The day Naruto was brought to the world.
Everyone in the village was out celebrating the day the Kyuubi was finally defeated: eating candy apples, watching street shows, playing little games, going out on dates with their significant others… But the one person, who should be out celebrating, was sitting on a meadow by the hillside, watching the celebration from above, basking in the stars shining above him.
It's already been 18 years since the particular event occurred, and it amused Naruto to think that the villagers still haven't moved on. During their recent battles, most was revealed about himself: about how he was the son of the Fourth Hokage, how the day he was born was also the day the Kyuubi had attacked, and how Minato had wanted people to honor him as a hero, not look down upon him as if he were anything less.
However it seemed like the village was still resistant in honoring him as a hero, and instead decided to continue to look at the day as a tragedy. Naruto couldn't bring himself to care about what the people thought anymore. After the retirement of Tsunade as the Hokage, Kakashi had taken her place, but only temporarily, as he had wanted Naruto to undergo some training before he stepped up as the Hokage himself. Not that Naruto minded anymore, but he had long discarded his dream of becoming Hokage and just wanted to live a peaceful quiet life. His entire life had been full of happenings, either people coming at him to kill him or people messing with him because of the creature stored inside him. Peace was something he wanted, and peace he was going to get… for now.
Snapping out of his musing, Naruto sensed someone else walking towards him, but decided against doing anything to acknowledge his presence.
"You're not out celebrating your birthday with anyone." It wasn't a question.
"I know." Naruto chuckled, lifting his face so he could face the lazy Ninja with a genuine smile. "I never celebrate my birthday."
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow but decided against pressing the issue, and instead, sighed as he sat down next to the blonde. "So troublesome…" He muttered as he took out a cigarette and lit it, watching the clouds pass above them in peace.
"Why aren't you down there celebrating?" Naruto asked eyes focused on the clouds. He didn't want to look at the other male.
Shikamaru answered Naruto's question with a small click of the tongue. It was common knowledge among the citizens of Konoha what day today was: the day Kyuubi destroyed the village, killing many lives. No one had stopped to think, even after the many times Naruto had saved the village, that it was the young Jinchuuriki's birthday. Everyone seemed to have placed the thought into the back of their mind, picking the option of remembering the day as the tragedy and nothing else.
They were idiots; All of them.
"Doesn't it bother you?" Shikamaru decided to ask quietly, wondering what was going through the mind of his blond friend. He briefly regretted asking the blond such a question, and was about to apologize for having crossed a line, when a completely new emotion overtook him.
"Why should it?" Naruto turned to face the lazy Shadow-nin, genuine confusion evident on his features.
Shikamaru had no words. "You can't be serious"
Blinking, Naruto tilted his head and shrugged. "I would be lying if I told you it didn't bother me when I was younger, but that was when I didn't understand why the villagers didn't like me. Knowing why… At least I now know why I've been getting so much hate." He smiled sadly and continued, "I'm only happy they have someone else to blame for the incident rather than themselves. It always hurts the most when the only thing you have to blame for a loss is yourself." Naruto pointed his thumb at himself.
Shikamaru furrowed his eyebrows but said nothing, facing himself so he could watch the clouds once again. There had to be a limit to how selfless a person could get, and somehow, the blond seemed to raise the bar higher and higher for everyone. After being ignored, after being shunned by everyone in the village since a young age, how could anyone still have so much faith in humanity? How could one person try so hard for peace when they've grown up without any knowledge of it?
When his friend didn't comment on his reply, Naruto sighed, "Tell me what you're thinking."
"It's nothing." Shikamaru muttered, taking a huff out of his cigarette and exhaling deeply.
"Is it?" Naruto pushed, raising an eyebrow.
"Since when were you so perspective?" Shikamaru countered, putting out the cigarette on the sole of his shoes.
"Situation called for it." Naruto laughed, "Things happened I guess."
The Shadow-nin couldn't deny that things did happen; In fact, a little too much, in his opinion. Right after they had graduated from the academy, they were entered in a Chunin exam where a crazed snake-nin killed their Third Hokage, one of their comrade runs of seeking more power and he was given the responsibility of bringing him back to the village, the Akatsuki emerges and tries to take the life of the blonde currently sitting next to him, Pein, the 'leader' of the Akatsuki members tries to destroy the village in search of the blond, and lastly, who could forget about the last war they got into, killing the majority of the country. Of course, the one 'good' thing that came out of this whole thing was, the blond who always seemed to be getting himself into trouble was now stronger, he is undergoing training now in order to become the next Hokage, the bastard Sasuke came back, and new alliance Konoha had made with the other countries since the war made them stronger as a nation.
"Yeah, things happened." Shikamaru agreed softly. "Sasuke came back though." He glanced at his friend, watching for a reacting from the corner of his eyes.
"Yeah, he did." Naruto sighed and showed no other visible reaction. "Told you I'd bring him back somehow. I never go back on my words." He teased with a slight wink, knowing that it wasn't Naruto who got Sasuke back in the village.
Shikamaru merely scoffed at those words. "I thought you'd be happier."
Naruto smiled sadly, facing the clouds once more. "I thought so too." He furrowed his eyebrows, seemingly deep in thought. "I guess… with the war and everything… I just had too much to think about."
Humming, Shikamaru accepted the answer. "So what happens now?"
"I guess we continue living like this." Naruto chuckled. "Training during our spare times, maybe take on a student or so…"
"Are you thinking of taking the Third Hokage's grandson?" It was common knowledge that the Third Hokage's grandson admired Naruto ever since they were younger. "Konohamaru, was it?"
"I'm not taking anyone as a student though." Naruto winced at the thought of himself being a teacher. "I'm going to be the worst instructor in history." He laughed nervously; already being able to imagine the chaos he could be dragging both himself and his student in, if he were to ever become an instructor. "Besides, I still have to finish the book Pervy-Sage entrusted me with." He ignored the small groan coming from the Shadow-nin. "You're going to take up Asuma-Sensei and Kurenai-Sensei's child as your student, right?" Naruto already knew the answer for this, though he thought he'd best ask anyway.
"Maybe."
Surprised by the answer, Naruto asked, "Why maybe? You said you were going to take them under you and train them because Asuma-Sensei entrusted you with the task?"
"I don't want him or her growing up to be a ninja, Naruto." Shikamaru said, glancing at the blonde from the corner of his eyes. "After having been through this many wars myself… I don't know if I can handle seeing the little troublesome kid put himself in the same amount of danger we had to put ourselves in." Naruto nodded in understanding, "Besides, we don't even know what else is out there, just waiting for the next generation to grow up."
Naruto chuckled at the answer, surprising the Shadow-nin. "What's so funny?" He asked, eyes narrowing in accusation.
"I didn't know you were so over protective." Naruto grinned, "Whoever claims your heart must be lucky to have someone who cares for them so much." Having long given up on ever finding a significant other, Naruto laughed wholeheartedly.
"You speak as if you aren't going to have anyone." Shikamaru narrowed his eyes further, showing a hint of irritation on his normally nonchalant face.
"Probably." Naruto smiled. "No one wants to be with a guy like me, Mr. Shadow." He paused to wink at Shikamaru's expression at being called Mr. Shadow, but continued. "There is no asset in being with a guy like me… So 'troublesome' as you would say."
Shikamaru frowned, "And why do you assume I'll get someone? Being tied down in a relationship is troublesome." It wasn't true for all cases, but Naruto didn't need to know the details… yet.
"Of course you'll find someone, everyone has someone for them." Naruto placed a comforting hand on the Shadow-nin and smiled.
'It should be the other way around. Why are you trying to comfort me when it should be me that's comforting you?' Shikamaru sighed, reaching up and lifting Naruto's hand off his shoulder. "And why, pray tell should it be any different for you?"
"Well, like I said-" But before Naruto could finish what he was about to say, he was cut off by a pair of chapped lips pressing against his own. Confusion evident in those blue orbs, Naruto blinked, staring at Shikamaru they parted from the chaste connection. "Shikamaru?" Naruto asked, tilting his head to the side.
"I'm not going to apologize for that." Shikamaru drawled lazily, staring at Naruto's confused eyes with his own determined ones. "Don't ever finish that sentence, you've saved the village much too many times for you to even have to consider yourself anything less than an amazing shinobi."
Naruto blinked at what Shikamaru said, cracking a small smile. "You're weird..." He stated before turning to face the clouds once more.
Shikamaru could only stare at the blonde, mystified as to how he could stay so calm after someone had just kissed him square on the lips. "Did you not feel anything at all?"
Without looking at the Shadow-nin, Naruto shook his head, "No."
Anger starting to emerge from Shikamaru, he grit his teeth as he asked once more, "Really? Nothing at all? Disgust, irritation, annoyance, violation, happiness, or even confusion?" Narrowing his eyes, he dared the blond to refute his question.
However, Naruto calmly replied, "Nothing..." still looking at the clouds. "You see, Shikamaru…" Naruto carefully began, choosing his words carefully, "I'm not… I've- I've long learned not to associate these things with feelings." He paused to look at the Shadow-nin's expression, looking for the cue he needed to continue. When he did, he said, "I'm not exactly as pure as one might think… I've long been doing these things for people: men, women, and even elders who needed somewhere to vent their… frustrations…"
Shikamaru couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You've been prostituting yourself?!" The anger in his voice pierced through Naruto's heart, but he made no notice of it and just simply shook his head. "Naruto, that's not okay."
Naruto laughed, "I'm not trying to ask you to pity me, Shikamaru, nor am I telling you for that same reason." He went back to looking at the clouds. "I'm telling you to let you know, I'm not fit to be in a steady relationship with anyone, to have feelings for someone, to be happy. You need to be with someone who actually knows what love is, who knows what it feels like to be loved and to love. I can't give you any of that."
Shikamaru glared, knowing Naruto couldn't see him, but he didn't care. He couldn't keep his emotions in check like was would normally be able to. "I don't understand why you are trying to force yourself to believe everything that you've been telling me tonight. Why you even think you are unable to receive or give anyone love is just beyond me Naruto." It irritated him how he was the only one getting riled up by the situation and the blonde seemed completely fine with how things were with his own life. "Do you not care about your own feelings at all?"
Naruto shook his head and smiled, "Shikamaru, it's not that I don't care about my life, or any of those things…" He chuckled, "I'm just accepting my life as it is. No one is going to want to get tied down to a life with a Kyuubi Vessel; Not that I mind being a Vessel, don't get me wrong... I've lived with this little guy ever since I was born..." Naruto winced at the warning growl he got from the beast inside him. "I just don't want to trouble anyone else with my troubles. In a way, I guess you could say I'm being selfish, keeping myself away from everything and all… But I'm sure even you can feel the stares and even glares I'm still getting from people when I'm just simply passing by…" Naruto sadly shook his head, "It doesn't matter how much I try and save them, and I doubt it would make a difference even if I get rid of this little guy inside me. As long as I am alive, they will have me to blame for their loss and heartache, and I'm fine with that, you know? It's better than having everyone blaming themselves."
Shikamaru growled, lifting himself off the ground and positioning himself so that he was straddling the blonde, "So you wouldn't give jack shit if I started blaming you as well? For the war? for the loss of everyone?"
Naruto's eyes widened at the sudden action, briefly wondering if he should be one hundred percent honest with his answer. "I would be lying if I told you I wouldn't give jack shit… But I guess… I can't stop you from doing so, and I'd rather you do that then blame yourself."
Enough was enough. Shikamaru pushed Naruto down harshly to the ground, ignoring the small wince at the sudden action. "So you wouldn't mind if I used you for my own pleasure, and throw you away like a fucking whore I picked up at a bar?" He growled in anger, face hovering inches away from Naruto's own.
With a loss of words, Naruto just stared into Shikamaru's eyes. When he finallyfound something to say, he said, "If it were anyone else, I probably wouldn't have minded… But Shikamaru, I don't want you doing this to yourself." Naruto shook his head and gently pushed the other male off him, "You're only doing this to prove your point to me. I know you're smart, Shikamaru, you know as well as I you won't be able to forgive yourself if you have meaningless sex with a person you don't even like."
Shikamaru allowed himself to be pushed off with a grunt, knowing Naruto was right. "Hn…" He huffed, "And if I told you I liked you?"
That caught Naruto off guard. "What?"
"And if I told you I liked you?" Shikamaru repeated patiently.
"I-... You can't." Naruto stiffly said, closing his eyes to calm his beating heart. He had already rejected Hinata and Sakura, he could do it this time. "I'm really not meant to-"
Just as he was about to explain, a familiar loud voice interrupted him. "There you are! Do you know how long we've been trying to look for you?"
"Kiba" Naruto acknowledged the new presence and sat up.
"What do you want Kiba?" Shikamaru asked, clicking his tongue, not even trying to hide his obvious annoyance at the interruption.
Kiba whistled in a mocking gesture, "Someone's in a bad mood" He chuckled at the scowl on Shikamaru's face before turning his attention back at Naruto. "Hey, so I was wondering if you were free a little later, so we could- you know… Do what we did the other night."
Shikamaru blinked, glancing back and forth between the two.
Ignoring the look Shikamaru was giving him, Naruto smiled, "Sure, I'd love to."
Kiba's grin widened before walking towards Naruto, crouching down so that he was looking at the blond straight in the eye. "Great. I'll see you in an hour then at your house." and leaned in to capture Naruto's lips with his own before heading off.
"Naruto..."
Naruto didn't have to turn around to know shikamaru was beyond angry. "Come on, Shikamaru... you know Kiba's a nice guy..."
"I may have to change my mind about how I look at him." Shikamaru sighed, "So, what is your reply to what I said before?"
Naruto's smile dropped, "I can't get... involved with anyone."
"Why?" Shikamaru narrowed his eyes crawling over so that he was sitting in front of the blonde.
"I think you know how much of a danger being with me can be..." Naruto started, "Not only would you open yourself up to danger, but you would also be opening yourself to others in the village looking at you in disgust for being with someone like me..."
"But the only reason you care about this, is because you care about me, right?" Shikamaru tried to suggest, watching the blond carefully for any positive reaction. A small cringe and silence was all Shikamaru needed. "I think you should know me well enough to know, that I don't give a shit about what other people think."
Naruto had nothing to say to that, knowing he was right.
"And you thinking I can't defend myself when danger come is a little insulting on my part." Shikamaru huffed in mock annoyance, which Naruto had to laugh at. "Just think about it Naruto... For once, do what your heart wants, what it needs." As much as Shikamaru didn't want to let the blond go, he knew he had no right to hold him back, "You've got company waiting for you." It came out a litle more angry than he had expected, but even though he knew he had no right to hold him back, he couldn't help it.
Naruto offered Shikamaru an apologetic look, "I'll see you tomorrow then..." and stood, dusting himself off. "Hey... It was nice seeing you though, and talking to you..." and dashed off without waiting for a reply.
Being left behind, the lazy nin laughed dryly, staring back up at the stars, a million thoughts running through his head.
He wasn't lying when he had told Naruto he liked him. At first, of course, it started off with mere fascination. Naruto's clear blue eyes had first caught his attention in the academy, how could someone have such beautiful colored eyes? It seemed almost unnatural to him, the existence of such clear, blue, honest eyes. It didn't mean Shikamaru wasn't honest, on the contrary, he was known to be quite brutally honest. Lying was bothersome, and keeping up with a lie was even more trouble than just telling the truth from the beginning. That being said however, Shikamaru was honest, but he had secrets as well. Yes, sometimes when people thought he was cloud watching, he would watch a certain blond from a far, basking in the energy that radiated from him. He found it to be quite enjoyable.
It wasn't until a few years later, that Shikamaru realized he had no interest in girls, or boys, in fact, he was just simply interested in Naruto.
By the time he realized though, he found he was spending time with the blond less and less because of their new assigned teams, and when he finally found the courage to admit his feelings to the blond, he was barely in town, always off training or on a mission.
Shikamaru would often curse at the unfairness of the situation, but the sky seemed so against in him telling Naruto about his feelings.
The war broke out, and he couldn't do anything to help Naruto.
Naruto was fighting the war all alone.
He understood the difference in their power and their strength. Shikamaru was never a fighter after all, but more of a strategist. The knowledge didn't help though, as he was forced to watch from a distance as Naruto fought the enemy who had singlehandedly defeated his entire village.
Shikamaru wanted to scream, to force his legs to move and to at least stand by the blond's side.
But he couldn't.
It was then, he realized, he had to tell the blond about his feelings. Considering their line of job, they didn't know when they would see each other again. Facing the death of his mentor had been a tragic reminder of the fact.
He wasn't going to live a life full of regrets.
"Aaah!"
Naruto screamed as Kiba moaned, releasing his seeds inside Naruto with one last thrust. After taking a few moments to catch his breath, Kiba pulled out of Naruto and rolled over, laying down Next to him and pulling him close to him. Sighing, the blond gently tried to pry the Inuzuka off him and raised an eyebrow when the other wouldn't budge.
"Why don't you ever let me stay with you after sex?" Kiba asked, nuzzling into Naruto's warmth and sighing in content.
"Because we started this on the premise that we wouldn't be getting emotionally attached to each other." Naruto reminded him, successfully prying the other male off him.
"Hmm…" Kiba hummed trying to hide his disappointment before he pushed himself off the bed and headed for the shower. Naruto did nothing but stare at the Inuzuka male, biting the bottom of his lips in hesitation. When he heard the shower turn on, Naruto allowed his mind to freely wander back to previous events. What was he going to say to Shikamaru? He still didn't have an answer for himself. It was obvious he wanted to accept the offer; Any human being, no matter how much they denied it, needed someone to love them, to feel as if they were actually loved. Shikamaru was willing to give it to Naruto, and was the first to offer it.
But Shikamaru was so innocent, so pure... Unlike he himself who has had many partners in bed previously. Naruto was dirty. He was filthy; like a rag that has been tossed around, cleaning up for everyone's mess. Releasing a shaky breath, the blond sat up on his elbows, cutting his trail of thought just in time for the shower to turn off. He watched as the Inuzuka walked out with only a single piece of towel wrapped around his waist. It was undeniable that Kiba had quite the desirable body, but of course, knowing he was a ninja who had to keep his body in shape, it wasn't all that surprising.
Feeling Naruto's eyes on him, the corner of Kiba's lips pulled into a small smirk. "Like what you see?" He asked, trying to get a reaction out of Naruto.
"I guess you could say that."
Damn, that was straightforward.
"If you had accepted my offer back then, this could have all been yours." Kiba pointed at himself, then added a little more quietly. "The offer still stands, you know..."
Naruto said nothing as he continued to stare at his friend. Making a final decision, Naruto slipped out of bed, walking over to where the Inuzuka was standing and pulled the other male into a hug.
Kiba stiffened, understanding what the hug meant. Gritting his teeth, Kiba wrapped his own arms around Naruto, crushing the blonde's body against his own with force. "I guess I should've guessed…" Kiba sighed, releasing Naruto from his embrace and stared into his sapphire eyes. "Did you know?"
When Naruto tilted his head to the side, Kiba continued, "I'm going to miss this…"
Naruto slowly nodded his head, "Today is the last time, I guess… I'm sorry though, I know we started this when I told you I wasn't going to go steady with anyone… for obvious reasons."
Kiba sighed, scratching the back of his neck, "I guess you found someone worth risking it huh?"
Naruto laughed, "I guess you could say that."
Kiba offered the blond a toothy grin, "I wish you the best of luck then, you deserve it. And if they hurt you, you know who to come to" Kiba winked in a friendly manner before turning around and picking his clothes from the floor and dressing himself before leaving through the window.
A/N: I hope you liked the fic, and I'm still debating on whether or not I should end it here, or end it as a two-shot (two chapters). Please let me know if you'd be interested in the actual development of Naruto and Shikamaru.