50 ways to annoy the Cullens

(PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!)

50. Tell Esme she isn't a real mom because she doesn't make a full course dinner and dessert every night.

49. Ask Carlisle what it was like to go to high school with Jesus and ride there on a dinosaur.

48. Ask Esme to adopt Jacob Black

47. Smash the wooden cross that hangs in the Cullen's house while Carlisle watches, laugh and say "Whoops" when you're done.

46. Look around Carlisle's book collection and ask him "Do you have Dracula?"

45. Pay an old woman to say to Esme, "Esme Cullen!!!?? It's you! I'm your daughter, I survived but you jumped, I mean, fell off a cliff."

44. Ask Bella when was the last time she was covered in feathers.

43. Tell Bella the Volturi have Nessie.

42. Laugh after she calls from Volterra saying she can't find her.

41. Tell Bella that Edward and Tanya had an affair.

40. Pay hot guys to say EW in front of Rosalie.

39. In front of Nessie, ask Edward and Bella really loud, " How did you get away with the kidnapping, you ended up with a really good one!!!!" Then, smile adoringly at all of them.

38. Tell Nessie she was an accident. For Real.

37. Give Emmett a bunch of gay secret admirer letters.

36. Ask Emmett if he is on steroids.

35. Put Rosalie in a class for pregnant women.

34. Laugh when she cries.

33. While in a family gathering, ask Edward if he is gay. LOUDLY.

32. Trade in everyone's car for a pink one. Except Alice.

31. Make hers a black CRV with bunnies on fire.

30. Ask Rosalie if she waxes. If she says yes, then say not enough.

29. Hit Alice on the head super hard and ask her if she saw you doing it coming.

28. Think about bad things happening to Bella in front of Edward, for hours on end.

27. Ask that family if they know Dracula

26. Say " Is that VICTORIA???!!!!??" every half hour, VERYYYY loudly

25. Call them "parasites", "leeches", or "monsters".

24. Bring the wolves into their house.

23. Fill Edward's iPod with rap or hip hop songs.

22. Scratch that, insult Edward about his age: he is too old to have an iPod

21. Fill Edward's closet with Team Jacob shirts

20. Smash his piano and have somebody hold him down so that he won't be able to kill you.

19. Ask Edward how Mike Newton is doing, oh wait, only Bella knows that!!!!!

18. Cut yourself in front of Jasper when his eyes are black .

17. Offer to change Jasper's white carpet for him, but change the color of it by dying it with blood.

16. Ask Jasper if he can teach you how to square dance.

15. If he is wearing a plaid shirt, ask him if he's going to the rodeo.

14. Talk in a really bad Texan accent in front of him.

13. Call Rosalie a prostitute.

12. ……. While Emmett is in the room.

11. And see that she doesn't deny it.

10. Cut off her weave.

9. Laugh when she says its her real hair, and say "SURE!!!!"

8. Give her a pregnancy test and say that it's Bella's, again!

7. Pay Bella 100 bucks to say that it's true.

6. Cut up all of Alice's credit cards in front of her.

5. Burn her closet full of new clothes.

4. Tell Alice that her favorite store is going out of business.

3. Video tape her reaction.

2 Post the video on You Tube.

1. Constantly ask Alice for wining lottery numbers.

Author's notes

Team Edcob 4 Life: Yes, I do with all of my heart love the Cullens, but this was necessary, I know. I do not own Twilight. Do not really do anything on this list to our beloved Cullens. Humor was the only the intended when writing this.

TwilighterluvsEdward: I also LOVE the Cullens, but we were bored and decided to write this for HUMOR ONLY!! Thanks for reading it and please review!