Give You Up
By: Samantha Tiffany Elizabeth Coffin
Troy Bolton. East High's Golden Boy. Would you believe me if I told you he had a secret? Of course you wouldn't, but he does. No, he doesn't have three arms, or an illegitimate child in Canada ((at least, not that I know of)). It's better than that. His secret is me. That's right. I'm Troy Bolton's secret. Me. Ryan Evans. The Drama King. Believe me yet? No? Well, it gets better. Not only am I his secret, but we sneak around here at the country club all the time. Gabriella and Sharpay have no idea, and neither does anyone else. And we don't just hang out and play golf, even thought we do that too. Yeah, we do that. You betcha. So how is Troy? I don't know. Personally, I've had better. But he is smokin hot, isn't he? How big is Troy? Never bothered to measure, and it I had, it's a secret that dies with me. So why have the basketball captain and I been sneaking around; doing it in the locker rooms and my room, and the golf course, and I think once out by the pool? I'm not sure exactly. Either he's taking advantage of the fact that I'm gay to release his sexual needs ((which is fine by me)) or he really actually likes me ((which would be weird, because he's still dating Gabriella, and I don't really actually like him that much)). It definitely has to be something because he is definitely cheating on Gabriella, and he definitely doesn't seem to care, especially since she quit her job on Tuesday, and he still hasn't gone after her. I'm not really sure what to think of him at the moment besides "Damn, he's hott" and that's basically all I have to say about the situation. So, I suppose you want to know how this all happened. Well, it was awhile ago, at the beginning of the summer, and I had taken him ((grudgingly)) golfing as my caddy, and I'm not horrible at golf, but I let Troy play and he kicked my ass at it. After the game, he sorta came on to me in the locker room showers. Okay, that's a lie, it was actually before that, when we were on the 18th hole, when I sank a tricky putt, and he insisted– Anyways, we ended up in my room, and it just got better from there. We've never really talked about what "we" are, and I have the feeling that "we" are nothing, just two guys who regularly do it together. So why am I telling you this? Mostly because I feel bad for cheating on Troy, even though we really aren't anything. I'm "cheating" on Troy? Yeah, I am. With Chad. But it was just once, after the baseball game last week. How is Chad? Not as good as Troy. How big is Chad? Not as big as Troy. See, here's my problem. Chad's willing to have a relationship, but I can't give Troy up. Troy is like the king and Chad is like the court jester. I know I said I didn't care about Troy, but I just can't give him up. It's been going on so long now, it's like habit. Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday he stays after rehearsal, and we have "alone time". And it's fun. Like I said, I just did Chad once, and it wasn't that great, but Troy, I mean oh my god. I love it. Wait, did I just say I loved it? Huh. I did, didn't I? I love doing it with Troy. What the hell am I gonna do? I have to do something. But what? What should I do? I have to talk to Troy. Speak of the freaking devil, he's here. What am I going to do? I let him in the room and he begins doing what we usually do, and I stop him. He's confused.
"What's wrong?" Troy asks. "Did I cut myself shaving?"
"No," I say, "Troy, what are we?" He stops dead in his tracks. He's scared of that question as well.
"Uh, I don't know," he says. He sounds truthful.
"Why do we do this?" I ask.
"I don't know," he says again. I sigh. "Why, what's wrong?"
"This isn't right, Troy," I say.
"It's not right?" he says. He comes up to me and grabs me. "Which part?" He starts kissing around my neck.
"The part where you're cheating on Gabriella," I say, trying to ignore Troy's actions.
"Broke up with her days ago," he breathes, still planting kissing me anywhere he can get. I am very surprised to hear this.
"That still brings me back to my original question, Troy," I say, pushing him away lightly. "What are we?"
"I don't know," Troy says. "What do you want to be?"
"I don't know," I say, also truthfully. "But I do know…never mind."
"Why do you suddenly care?" he asks. "You've never cared before."
"Uh," I begin, unsure of what to tell him. "It's Chad."
"What does he want?" Troy asks.
"Me," I say simply. Troy sighs. "Jealous?"
"When did you two get together?" Troy asks. He's not angry.
"Just once," I say, "after the baseball game." I look at him. He's still not angry. "You're not angry."
"How can I be angry when neither of us can define what we are?" Troy asks. He's got a point. "And whatever we are, we're anything but exclusive."
"That's for sure," I say. "Or at least that's the way it was." Now he looks confused.
"Are you breaking up with me? For Chad?" he asks.
"No!" I say, moving closer to him and pulling him tight. "I couldn't give you up." If that wasn't a sappy thing to say, I'm not sure what is.
"Then what's the problem?" Troy asks.
"That is the problem," I say. "I can't give you up."
"So don't," Troy says. I sigh and let go of him.
"But it's not right! We can't even define what we are," I say. "And as far as I can remember, this is the most we've ever talked, ever!"
"What we are?" Troy asks. "We'll figure out what we are. Come on, sit." We both sit down on my bed, on opposite sides. There is a long pause, during which we both stare at each other, wanting nothing more than to rip each others' clothes off. After a silence, Troy speaks again, "We could start with what we're not."
"Okay, what's aren't we?" I ask.
"I don't know," he says. "Screw that idea."
"I've got something else in my mind I'd like to screw right now," I say. Troy laughs.
"I thought you wanted to settle this first," Troy says.
"I do," I whine. "I just wish it wasn't so difficult."
"Well, we're friends, right?" Troy asks.
"Sort of," I say. "Despite the fact that we've never talked before this summer."
"So, are we friends with benefits?" Troy asks. "Or are we boyfriends?"
"Well, we weren't before now," I say. "Unless you want to be."
"I don't know," Troy says. "I didn't break up with Gabriella for you. Actually, she broke up with me."
"I figured as much," I say.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks. I shrug and cross the invisible barrier between us, kissing him, and leaving to tomorrow the question of what we are.
I wake up in the morning, and Troy's already gone. He always is. I make up my mind what I'm going to do. What I have to do. I call Gabriella. I'm gonna get her and Troy back together. It's for the best. I'll go out with Chad, and I'll be fine. The talent show goes ahead like I planned it, and I win the Star Dazzle Award for my efforts. It's a great night. Troy and Gabriella kiss on the hillock in the sprinklers, causing ((somehow)) fireworks to go off. I'm with Chad, who is delighted to be with me. I can tell Troy is happy back with Gabriella, or at least he looks it. In the weeks to follow, he never came around again. We never decided what we were, and we never really broke up. And I'm sad because Troy's gone, but no one knows. Everyone knows about me and Chad and ((almost)) everyone's happy for us. Two weeks after the start of school, I'm sitting alone in my room. It's the middle of the night and I can't sleep. There's a knock on my window. It's Troy. I'm shocked. It's been at least two and half months since that night we talked. I walk over to the door to the balcony where he's standing and let him in.
"What are you doing here? It's the middle of the night." I say. He just stumbles into my room and hugs me. "Did you have a dream I was dead? Because calling would have sufficed." He shakes his head. "Then why are you here?"
"I can't do it, Ryan," he says.
"Do what? What are you doing?" I say, confused.
"I can't be with her anymore," he says. Gabriella.
"But you're happy," I protest.
"Not half as happy as I was with you," he says.
"But we can't," I say, backing away from him.
"Please," he pleads, taking a step closer to me. "Ryan, please." He takes another step towards me and I don't back off. He pulls me into another hug. It feels so good to be back with Troy, but we just can't.
"Troy, come on, you know this isn't a good idea," I say.
"I broke up with Gabriella," he says.
"Again?" I say. "You know how much convincing it took for her to go back out with you the last time? I was on the phone for, like, an hour."
"So don't get us back together this time," Troy says. "I don't want her anyways. I want you."
"No, you don't," I say. "You just know I put out."
"That's not why I want you," he says. "Although that is a bonus." He flashes that Golden Boy smile, and it almost makes me melt.
"Troy," I begin. "Troy, I have Chad now." I hate to pull Chad into something like this, especially because I don't really like him, but then again, who do I like? Oh, yeah, the guy I'm denying at the moment.
"I'm sure he'll understand," Troy says, pulling me even closer and planting those kissed on my neck like I like. Chad had never mastered that skill. To tell the truth, in the two and half months since we've been together, I'm sure we haven't done it as many times as Troy and I did in the one month we were "together" or whatever it was.
"But, what does that make us, Troy?" I ask.
"Anything you want, as long as I have my Ryan back," he says.
"Whoa, your Ryan? Since when was I ever yours to claim?" I say.
"Since I started claiming you," he says, pulling away from my neck, where I can tell he has just "marked his territory".
"But you don't really want me," I try again, in one last ditch attempt to make him leave. "You want what I have to offer."
"No," he says, pulling us together. "I want you." I resign to the fact that I'm not getting him out of my room tonight.
"You're not getting any tonight, Troy," I say.
"That's fine," he says. I'm surprised to hear him say that. Our relationship, whatever it was, was never about anything but sex. "I wasn't really expecting to get lucky."
"Ha," I say. He pulls me onto my bed, and we sleep until the next morning, which thankfully is Saturday. I wake up to find him already awake. "You're still here," I remark.
"Of course," he says.
"Usually you're gone," I point out.
"So?" he says.
"Won't your parents be wondering where you're off to?" I ask.
"Told them the truth," he says.
"Which is?" I prompt.
"That I was spending the night at my boyfriend's place," he says.
"Oh, so who's the lucky guy?" I ask.
"Well, I think you know him, actually," he says. "He's got blonde hair, blue eyes, he's kinda short though, but that's okay. He's got this insane sister, who I'm pretty sure is trying to kill me, and they both love to wear pink. Let's see, he's got this amazing hat collection, lives in this gigantic house, and I'm standing right next to him. Can you guess?"
"Oh, let me think," I say. "Is it…Invisible Bob?" Troy laughs, as he realizes that Invisible Bob ((his imaginary friend from the third grade)) actually fits this description. "No, I'm just kidding. He's me!" There is a pause. "No, seriously, though, why does your imaginary best friends suddenly remind me of me?" Troy shrugs. "How'd your parents take it when you told them?"
"I don't think it really sunk in. I was in a pretty big rush," Troy says.
"So, I'm your boyfriend, am I?" I ask.
"Only if you wanna be," he replies.
"Can you excuse me for a second?" I ask. Troy nods, utterly bewildered. I take my cell phone from the bedside table and dial Chad's number. "Hey, Chad, yeah, it's me, Ryan. Listen, I don't think this is gonna work out. I'm getting back together with my ex. Yeah, he's amazing. Thanks. Bye, Chad." I hang up the phone and put it back where it was. Troy is looking at me, rather expectantly. "What?"
"So, are you my boyfriend?" he asks.
"Sure, Troy," I say. He picks me up from the bed and plants a big one on me, and I know I'll be happy forever and ever as long as we're together.
A/N: So, unbelievably cheesy ending, I know, but I was writing it in class, because I never really pay attention to the teacher (it's Physics. What am I supposed to learn that I don't already know?) and the idea just popped into my head fully formed. It was weird. It's probably been done like a hundred times before, but I thought it was good, and then reading it, I realized "Wow, this sucks" but there was really nothing I could do to improve. Pay attention in Physics, kids.