Hia this is sort of an experiment, this does have really serious themes in it, just to warn you, i don't want to upset anyone. Anyways thank you for reading.
Stop! Please I beg of you!
I disgust myself, I am pitiful and deserve nothing. Is this what everyone feels? Am I the only one who would rather be dead? You would think I'd have learned by now not to cry out, it only makes it worse.
Why? Please!
There I go again, asking for more. 9… 10 … 12. Why am I even counting? I seem to say things out of reflex, perhaps I was brought up wrong.
Let go!
She must have done if this is what's happening to me. If I just let go now the pain might end. Why don't I let go, it would be so much easier for everyone. Why is it that I won't let go?
Why are you doing this?
It's because I am afraid, that's why. I'm scared and I don't know what to do.
Stop!
The tears won't stop, why don't they ever stop? I suppose the ache in my body forces me to cry, and why should it not? It's not my body's fault that it gets treated such. It's all mine. Oh why won't they stop!
Brother!
I didn't get up off the floor until long after the footsteps died away, even after that I stayed where I was, my hair quivering in front of my face as I tried to breathe again. I just lay on my side my knees tucked up to my chest, my hands clasped white in front of them. Even the sun had fallen before I moved. I sighed as the door closed and uncurled my legs, hearing the crack as they got used to being straight once more. I placed one hand on the floor watching the pathetic shaking of my arm as it tried to lift my body of the cold floor. Bringing my knees up once more I pushed myself up and stood in the frosty moonlight that came in through my window. The icy air bit at my skin as I moved to the diamond panelled window, looking at the courtyard of even grey stones below, a black horse snaked across it like a wound. The rider of that horse did not spare me a glance; if he had I would surely have cowered away. And so another day of my life ended as though it expected not to see dawn.