It had been a tiring day so far, two domestic violence calls and several noise complaints. Jamie dragged his feet across the sidewalk one at a time, trying to keep up with his energetic rookie who never seemed to get tired.

"Janko take it down a notch." He ordered.

Janko sent him an apologetic smile and slowed her pace by a fraction of a second. In truth, Jamie should have had no trouble keeping up with today and his partner but he spent most of the night at the gym mercilessly beating a punching bag with a force most people didn't think he had in him. It only came out when he was angry, today marked the 6th anniversary of Joes death, and he found himself in a pair of boxing gloves at the gym still trying to cope with the loss of his brother. His hands were sore and bruised as well as his forearms and shoulders, and yet he felt better than he had last night. He felt like he was in enough pain so he could forget about his brother for a few hours and just walk the beat like a good cop. He also knew that he was tired and Sunday dinner tonight wouldn't be something enjoyable, especially if Danny kept up with his recent nagging. For almost two weeks, Danny had been up Jamie's ass like it was his permanent address, after a couple days his brothers incessant teasing and ridicule was rubbing him the wrong way but after two weeks, Jamie was one comment away from strangling Danny himself.

"Reagan." Eddie repeated for the fourth time.

"Yeah?" He jumped, startled.

"Ya got somethin' ya wanna tell me?" She asked knowingly.

"Naw. No, I'm good." He answered.

"Reagan... Sarge told me... What today was... I'm sorry." Eddie said cautiously.
Jamie shot her a tired look and watched her face change from nervous to a look of pity, he grimaced.

"Tours almost over." He snapped, "let's just enjoy the silence."

Even in the early hours of the day, Jamie could see Eddie recoil like she's been slapped, he didn't talk to her like that, not ever. He sighed, "I didn't mean to snap at you."

Eddie nodded slightly, "I am sorry." She reached out and touched his shoulder gently, "I didn't mean to make you sad."

He didn't answer, he had another 30 minutes on his shift and then all day to sleep and prepare for Sunday dinner.

Eddie was silent for the rest of the tour, knowing that in 18 short hours they would be on together again and that was going to be even more unpleasant if she kept talking.

The tour finally ended and Jamie breathed a sigh of relief, climbing into his car and driving as fast as he could for the family plot. He needed to talk to Joe before everyone else showed up.

A shudder ran through Jamie as he walked toward Joes headstone, the idea of his brother decomposing not far from his feet, laying in a metal box with dirt encasing him made Jamie both sick and claustrophobic. He took a shaky breath and knelt next to the gravestone.

"Hey Joe. Wish you were here, Danny and I need you, we aren't good at being brothers like you were. We need someone to patch things over, or I just need someone to kick Danny's ass when he calls me kid at the precinct. Danny is driving me crazy, he busts my chops over everything. You'd think I was setting the victims we save on fire the way he berades me after I do something right. God, all I want is for him to hop off my back once in a while but every time I see him it's like I'm breathing the wrong way and I piss him off."

"Danny can be difficult." Jamie's sisters voice rang through the empty cemetery.

"Erin." Jamie said in surprise scrambling to his feet, "I didn't hear you come up."
Erin smiled lightly, "You're not the only one missing their brother."

Erin reached out her arms, "Come here Jammers." She hugged him tightly, feeling like a sub for their late mother and feeling another sting of loss coming on.

"Joe loved you. He would be so proud of what you've become." Erin reassured the youngest. She pretended not to see Jamie turn his head the other way and wipe some tears away when he thought she couldn't see them.

He muttered a small thank you, touching Joes headstone on his way out, whispering an 'I love you' before continuing back to his apartment.

xxxxx

He slept for a long time, he woke up feeling worse than before, his sleep plagued with nightmares of losing joe and the rest of his family. By the time it was dinner time, he felt like he needed a nap again but he got dressed anyway putting on a nice pair of pants and sliding into his favorite leather jacket. He grabbed his keys and began the drive to his fathers house to suffer through the weekly family dinner.

The second Jamie let himself in the front door he felt jack and Sean attach themselves to his legs, he winced in pain but hugged the boys back.

Danny rounded the corner with Linda by his side, "Kid." Danny addressed him tersely.
"Danny." Jamie said out of formality.

"I see you've lived to see another Sunday." Danny said sarcastically.

Jamie bit back a comment, Danny seemed to already be a few beers in. Linda pulled her husband away before Jamie or Danny said something they couldn't take back. She wasn't oblivious to the past few weeks' tension between the brothers.

Frank sighed as he watched his remaining sons get on each other's last nerve, "Jamie, son." Frank said with a smile, "Erin said she ran into paying your respects to Joe this morning."

Jamie nodded uncomfortably, Danny glared daggers at him but guided his own sons to the dinner table without another nasty comment, grabbing the bottle of jack Daniels on his way.

Frank glanced back to Jamie and pulled him towards his seat across from Danny at the table.

Frank began grace as usual, closing his eyes to thank god for their food and to pray for those lost and those still sitting around the table. It was hard to imagine that it had been six years without Joe and his other sons hadn't made any progress relationship wise.

Frank watched Danny carefully as his son poured himself what frank wanted to say was his 6th shot of the night, frank could feel the tension rising between Jamie and Danny, danny getting drunker and Jamie getting madder as Danny harassed him.

"So kid," Danny slurred, "Heard you got a thing for your partner."

Jamie flushed, "I don't. Shut up Danny."

"I heard your new nick name is runty Reagan because your girl can kick your ass any day."

Jack and Sean giggled when their father said ass.

Jamie turned a darker shade of red, "I'm not a runt."

Frank tried to make peace before his youngest jumped across the table and shut Danny up himself.

"Boys. Is tonight really the night?" Frank begged.

"I could take Jamie any night." Danny replied, "the kid weighs 160 soakin' wet."
"Danny!" Linda reprimanded her husband.

"It's a good thing my wife can fight your battles for you kiddo. Cuz you couldn't take me with even your service weapon."

"Danny, please. Joe would've wanted you two to get along." Frank tried to soothe them.

His sons head snapped in his direction, "Yeah dad? Well Joe is dead."

Jamie flinched from across the table, "Shut up."

"He's dead and he's never coming back..." Danny told his brother.

"Danny!" Linda cried, ushering their sons and Nicki out of the dining room, "Stop it."

"Dad's right Danny, Joe just wanted you two to act like brothers." Erin scolded him.
"Well I'm done acting. It's been six damn years. Has anyone asked me what I wanted?" Danny asked, standing now and making his way toward his kid brother.
Jamie was doing a good job controlling his temper until Danny reached down and grabbed Frank's youngest by the collar.

"Do you know what I want?" Danny seethed, asking again.

Jamie grabbed Danny's wrist in a warning hold, "more booze?" Jamie asked innocently.

Frank had never seen Danny move so fast, his fist sailed into Jamie's face with such power that an unsuspecting Jamie tipped over in his chair with Danny following closely behind.

"I WANTED JOE BACK AND I WOULD'VE TRADED YOU, YOU WORTHLESS HARVARD LAWYER ANY DAY." Danny screamed into little Jamie's face.

"Boys!" Frank and Henry shouted, both trying to rip Danny off his younger brother.

"I was thinking the same thing when I heard Joe died. I was hoping it had been you first of all people." Jamie challenged his brother, egging on Danny's punches.

Frank's sons wrestled on the dining room floor, smacking each other so hard they were drawing blood. Frank looked down in despair, not knowing if he should intervene or let them fight it out.

"You weren't even here! You're barely a Reagan!" Danny shouted. "Even Joe knew you didn't fit in with the family, he said it himself that you didn't belong on the force!" Danny seethed, feeling successful knowing he was getting to Jamie, making the kid feel as bad as him, "I prayed to God to take you instead, to leave Joe and just take the stupid kid. But I guess he wasn't listening. I mean you, this family could get over you, but Joe, we loved Joe, now he was a true blue Reagan."

Jamie stopped fighting, frank knew it was time to step in but he wanted Jamie to know his father thought he could fight his own battles.

"I hate you Danny. I fucking hate you." Jamie whispered, beaten. He shoved Danny off him, wiping blood off his face as he stood dizzily.

Danny scrambled to his feet about to lunge for his brother again but frank stepped between them.

"All Joe wanted was for you two to get along." Henry said, clearly upset.

Neither brother said anything, only the sound of Erin crying was amplified in the silence.

"Danny." Linda said sharply, dragging him out of the dining room and into the kitchen, leaving Jamie with Erin and frank.

Frank closed his eyes and prayed for strength, "Jamie... Your brother..."

Jamie cut him off which he rarely did, "I think Danny made it pretty clear we weren't brothers."

His youngest son sat back down in his chair with a thud holding a dining napkin to his bleeding nose and a dejected expression on his face.

Erin stroked a hand through her brothers hair which frank was thankful that she could take Mary's place once in a while as the tender touch.

"Erin can you give us a minute." Frank asked.

Erin exited, taking one last glance at Jamie slumped in his seat with his head in his hands.

"Son, Danny's been mad at you for a long time. He felt like you missed an important moment when Joe died and you were safe at Harvard from it all." Frank reasoned.

"Safe? Safe!?" Jamie spoke incredously, "He was my best friend and I never got to say goodbye." Emotions rocked Jamie's voice, "I was alone, with no one to say it was going to be alright. No one..."

Frank shook his head, "Jamison, I didn't mean it like that."

"Dannys right, I'm not a Reagan." Jamie stood up and stumbled toward the door, leaving the bloody napkin behind.

"Jamie wait!" Frank stood and raced after his youngest but he had already slammed the front door and started his car.

Frank turned his expression lethal, "Danny!" He snapped, spinning on his heel, "Sober up." He said with a growl aimed at his oldest who should have known better. Jamie's skin wasn't exactly made of iron like Danny's.

Frank marched out to his car and drove to the only neutral place he could think of, joes grave.

Frank rested laid between his wife and son's graves and took a deep breath, "God give me strength." He repeated.