1,000 Paper Cranes

Romano was taking a leak one morning, as is usual in his after-nap routine, when he took a cursory glance out the bathroom window and found, much to his displeasure, a couple of kids in his backyard. He felt his inner-elderly-man disposition kick into high gear when this young pair did not simply continue onward across his premises, but had the damned gall to lay down on his property. Weren't those parents teaching their children anything about loitering on a nation's property, anymore? His newly cut grass was being squashed and abused by their asses!

With a huff, Romano finished his business, shook it off, and flushed. As he was pulling up his pants, he looked out again to find that the couple was now thoroughly engaged in tonsil hockey. This angered Romano greatly, because even from such a distance, he could see plainly that the boy's technique was all wrong. With a sudden urge to yell out to the disgusting pig that "only French men kiss that way" he was shaken to his very core just from the thought.

He opened up the window and started to shout to the lovers to take their fucking business elsewhere, but he was silenced when he saw that things were becoming far more heated, very quickly.

'Where did their clothes go?' was one thought that passed through Romano's head, but it was lost before he could formulate a response to his own question.

Incapable of believing what he was watching, Romano took a new roll of toilet paper and chucked it out the window, hoping it would hit one of the two naked trespassers and free him from having to say anything about this awkward turn of events. The roll flew through the air, leaving a streak of white behind it as it blazed across his lawn, completely over the two, and into the branches of one of his ornamental trees. As the paper settled to the ground, the couple was now covered by a line of double-padded toilet paper. However, they seemed unheeded by this fact, and continued at it.

Romano was pissed, now.

He grabbed another roll of toilet paper from a cabinet and swung with all his might directly at the male's head. It flew, leaving behind it a stream of white just as the other had, and plopped once, twice, clear over the couple's backs, and rolled onward, leaving them only with another sheet of paper to cover them. Romano continued to throw; he just threw them all, right out the window, before he ran out and finally glanced out to find his backyard was a mess with toilet paper streaks. The couple was now nowhere in sight, hidden behind a mass amount of white.

Though, Romano knew. Oh, he knew they were hiding there; humping like rabbits, desecrating his grass, all while Romano looked on in utter disgust.

He was flushed with anger and a little bit of oxygen-asphyxiation. Romano clambered out of his window and plopped into the bushes below. The downy softness that now covered the bushes caused him to bounce back quickly and he was on his feet, stomping to the couple in a short amount of time.

When he made it to the lumpy mass of white he kicked at it, hoping it hurt the male on top as much as possible, while moving the weaving of toilet paper away to uncover…

Romano stopped as he saw blond hair.

"Oh… Bro~th~er, what are you doing up so early? I thought it was time for your siesta," came a dulled, nasally male voice he knew well. It was the voice of a mentally retarded child.

And laying on top of the mentally disabled was a German. A. Fucking. German.

Romano could feel his palms grow sweaty, his face grow quickly into a grimace, and the flush he had from anger leave immediately and left him chalky white in the face.

"Oh, Bro~th~er, you look constipated. Maybe you should go to the toile—," but Romano's brother was unable to finish his clearly intellectual advice when Romano sobbed out a loud cry over perverts, bad kissing techniques, idiots, and no spaghetti. He fled from the scene, climbing back into his home through the window and closing it behind him.

Feliciano turned his head up, and the tell-tale sign of eyes was barely noticeable as he looked around. "Ve~, why are we covered in toilet paper?"