Title: Anytime
Characters: Tom Gurney and Wade Martin
TWs: Strong language, substance abuse, mentions of abuse and thoughts of suicide
This is the first entry in my fanfiction series "Young Volcanoes", which gives readers a glimpse into the lives of Bullworth's students, some good, some bad. It's from Tom's perspective, but mostly about Wade's issues. I just really love their friendship!
It was a Tuesday night, nearing 2 o'clock, and Tom Gurney was having a tough time falling asleep. It was still Fall, but it might as well have been Winter – it sure felt like it. Tom was wearing a sweater and had wrapped himself in two blankets, but it was no use. He was positively shivering. If he had been warm, he still wouldn't have slept, though. His insomnia was getting the better of him again.
Tom looked across the room at the sleeping figure of Davis, who was sprawled across his bed and was in a deep sleep, unbothered by the cold. Tom scoffed silently, jealous at the easiness with which sleep came to his friend.
Tom usually used sleeping pills to combat his insomnia, but he hated having to rely on medication to get through his day. That's why he hadn't taken any tonight. He regretted it now, though. He kept tossing and turning, not being able to quiet down his thoughts.
After another 30 minutes of trying to fall asleep, Tom gave in and decided it might be a good idea to just take some sleeping pills. But before he did so, he first wanted to smoke a cigarette, to see if that maybe calmed him down enough to sleep. He knew smoking was bad for him, but he really didn't care. Smoking came with being a Bullworth student.
Since the two Bullies had a strict non-smoking rule in the dorm room, Tom was forced to go outside. He slowly slid out of bed and snuck out the door, careful not to wake up Davis. The dorm was awfully quiet, which wasn't surprising, knowing what time it was. Tom walked out the doors, where the cold air hit him like a truck. He started shivering, and he momentarily opted to go back inside. But his need for nicotine got the better of him, so he continued.
He went on his way to the parking lot, but he stopped when he saw a Prefect walking by, mumbling something to himself. What the hell are they still patrolling for? Tom thought to himself.
With the parking lot out of the question, Tom decided the next best thing would be to take a stroll around town. Sneaking out of the school gates, Tom was about to make his way towards Bullworth Town, when he heard a noise.
Music. He heard music. Music that sounded familiar to him. A suspicious feeling rose up in him. He decided to follow the sound and see where the music was coming from. Just off the bridge to the town was a small, dirt road that led to a secluded little beach. The music seemed to be coming from there.
Tom had a feeling he knew who was playing the music, but he was still hesitant to walk towards the beach. For all he knew, it could be the Townies playing the music. And he really didn't feel like dealing with those guys. But his curiosity got the better of him, so he walked down the dirt path and, like his hunch had suggested, there stood his best friend.
Wade Martin, red-haired and blue-eyed, stood close to the edge of the water. He was staring dreamily ahead, holding a half-empty bottle of vodka loosely in his hand. An old-fashioned stereo, one only Wade could still own, stood behind him in the sand. It played Wade's favorite music, a mixture of rock and punk music.
Tom would have been shocked to see his best friend in such a state, if it was the first time. But it was not, unfortunately. It had happened before, only Wade had promised to not do it again.
That clearly hadn't worked out.
Tom moved over to the stereo and turned it off. Wade slowly turned around, surprised at the sudden lack of music. "Tommyyyy…" he drawled out, when he saw his best friend. He reached out to his best friend, as if wanting to hug him, but he didn't move over to him. Judging by the size of his eyes and his pupils, he hadn't only been drinking alcohol. There was a large bruise on his left cheek, and his shirt had a tear in it.
"Wade, what the fuck have you been doing here? Do you know what time it is? Aren't you freezing?"
Wade tripped over his feet a little, chuckled lightly at his clumsiness, and made his way over to Tom. He hugged him casually. He reeked of alcohol and smoke. "Relax, Tommy-boy. I've been enjoying myself. Kept the party going after it was over." He said this casually, as if nothing was wrong with the current situation he was in.
Then, Tom suddenly remembered. It had been Christy's birthday today. Every year, their father insisted that they come home for a proper birthday dinner with the family. Wade always went, because he didn't want Christy to be alone with their father and he knew she'd appreciate him being there. He always went, despite knowing it always ended the same way every year.
Tom looked at his friend with a worried expression. This made Wade's smile falter a bit.
"He hit you again, didn't he?"
Wade nodded. "But I got him good this time, too." He said this with a small smile, but it didn't seem genuine one bit. "The dinner went fine enough, at first. I kept quiet, I really tried to keep my calm, you gotta believe me, Tom. But that nasty slut of a woman he's with now just wouldn't shut up about what was wrong with the house and whatnot. And my dick of a dad agreed with her! That's all fine and dandy, but then he started complaining about Christy and the way she dresses. She was wearing her goddamn school uniform, for God's sake! I just couldn't take it anymore, Tom. I yelled at him to shut up and he stood and wanted to grab my shoulder, but I pushed him away. In a reflex he hit me on the cheek. Then I punched him square in the jaw. It's probably going to leave a bruise. Then I left. Christy was screaming for me to come back, but I ignored her. I don't know how she's doing now…" he trailed off, suddenly feeling guilty for leaving his sister behind.
Tom shook his head and sighed. "You know what I told you to do, remember? Never hit him back. Don't give him that power!"
Wade sat down, defeated. "I know, but you know how I get, Tom. I just see all red." Out of all the Bullies, Wade was the shortest, but definitely the one with the most anger. Tom knew that. He had experienced it first-hand.
Wade sighed. "I just don't see the point of it all anymore, Tommy-boy. I let down everyone I'm around. First my dad, then Christy. I let you down most of the time, too. I am a horrible friend to you, I'm failing all my classes again, I fucked up my own fucking sister's birthday party and I hit my own freaking father!" His voice broke at the end of that sentence and silent tears started falling from his wide eyes. He hated crying in front of people, especially Tom. The black-eyed Bully had so many problems of his own and knew about so many of Wade's secret struggles already, that the redhead just didn't want to bother him any more than he had to.
Tom sat down next to the smaller boy and put an arm around his shoulder. Wade leant into him. "I'm sorry, Tom," he whispered.
"You have nothing to be sorry about. I understand. But you have to realize this is not the solution."
Wade tore away from Tom's touch and stood up, suddenly. "But don't you that it is?" He started pacing back and forth along the beach. "Don't you understand that I don't want to feel this way anymore? Don't you understand that I need to do this? It's the only way I don't feel this constant pain and this constant guilt! I can't do this anymore, Tom. I'm tired. I want to leave." He started tugging at his hair and breathing heavily, tears still silently rolling down his cheeks, and Tom knew he wasn't talking about leaving this beach.
Tom opened his mouth to speak but didn't know what to say. So, he closed it again. He didn't have to say anything, though, because Wade spoke – screamed, actually – again.
"And don't tell me you understand! You have no idea what it is like to feel this way. To feel this constant pain." He was positively in hysterics now.
Tom just stood up. "No, I don't." He could have said that he did. He didn't face an abusive parent, but he related in feeling a constant emotion that never ceased its attack on his mind. He could've mentioned the medication he had to take every morning. But he knew Wade knew this all in the back of his mind. He was simply not in a position to realize it. And Tom didn't, couldn't, blame him.
So, he just moved over to his friend, pulled his hands out of his hair and hugged him tightly. Many "bros" didn't hug their friends, because it was "gay". But Tom didn't care about all that. He couldn't hug away the sadness and pain that Wade felt, but he could sure as hell try. Wade slowly wrapped his arms around him and cried into his shoulder. "I just want it to end, Tom."
"I know, Wade. I know," Tom replied sadly. All he could really do in these situations was remain calm and let Wade rage. There was no use in trying to calm him down or suggesting he find help. He wouldn't listen. Especially when he was high on drugs.
In an attempt to not make Wade's trip go completely bad (they would be even further from home if that happened), Tom leaned down and turned the music back on. He lit a cigarette, finally, and leaned back against the wall. "You were doing something before I came here, weren't you? Don't let me stop you."
Wade grinned at him, took a final swig from the bottle of vodka, and threw it at the wall as hard as he could, screaming along with the lyrics of the song.
Tom joined in on the chorus and the two danced and sung their hearts out, jumping around, not caring that people, and probably the Prefects, could hear them.
Wade would forever thank his friend for being patient with him. For not making him feel bad when he got like this. Deep down he knew he needed help, and he knew Tom was right. He was weak. But Tom was never judgmental and was always there for him. Wade honestly didn't know how he had deserved such a friend.
Tom relished in the rare moments when Wade was happy. Albeit because he was under influence. He was smiling. When he was sober, he would continue to push Wade towards getting help. For now, he was content seeing Wade happy.
After a while, Tom noticed the stars were disappearing and Wade was sobering up. It was time to go back to the dormitory.
They slowly made their way back to campus, still quietly laughing and singing. When they entered Wade's room, surprisingly without being spotted, Wade crashed onto his bed immediately. He dozed off pretty soon after.
The room was empty, since Wade shared it with the Prep Parker, who usually slept at the Preppy's frat house. Tom tucked his best friend in, after removing his shoes. He then sat on Parker's empty bed and watched Wade silently, a melancholic and pitiful expression on his face.
Wade was going to have a huge hangover tomorrow, so Tom figured they'd take the day off tomorrow and hang around town for a bit.
Tom was almost dozing off himself, when he noticed Wade raised his head and looked at him. "Tom?" he mumbled. "Thank you."
"Anytime," Tom replied, a small smile on his face.
And it was true. Anytime Wade felt like this, Tom would be there for him. He would take care of him. He was his best friend, and Wade would do the same for him.