Disclaimer: I don't own, no infringement is intended. Don't sue. Implied KiGo, get over it.
Feedback is appreciated if you have something constructive to say, otherwise don't bother.
My thanks to "sheltercat" for the beta. You're a gem, C.
A soft persistent scratching noise echoed throughout the room. The world's most dangerous woman, world-class thief and all-around badass was intent on one objective: filing her nails to perfection. Her employer was occupying a corner with some nameless henchman flunky. Both men were seated at a small table, hunched and glowering at each other over a marble chessboard.
Only the noise of an emery board hard at work could be heard. At least, until a familiar redhead kicked open the door and rushed in, her lanky blonde companion following close behind.
"Alright Drakken, hand it…over?" Kim Possible stopped short. She had been expecting trouble. What she was seeing was something completely opposite.
The slightly mad genius turned in his seat at the commotion and shot a perplexed look at his sidekick lounging on the easy chair.
"Don't look at me." Shego shrugged casually and continued filing her nails. Her boss nodded once and turned back to his game. The henchman never moved, intent on finding a way to escape checkmate.
"Um, KP?" Rob Stoppable never claimed to be the smartest person, but he was definitely confused by the rather mundane scene being played out before him. Usually Drakken was rambling about his newest attempt to take over the world and Kim and Shego were trading blows the way lovers traded caresses. His only answer was a look of bewilderment from his best friend.
The ding of a bell had the teen hero dropping into a defensive stance, ready for action. Whatever Drakken and Shego were up to, they wouldn't catch her unaware, weird behavior or not.
A nameless henchman entered the room, intent on the chiming.
"Stop right there!" the redhead called out.
He looked at her as if she had grown two heads. "I don't want them to burn." He crossed the room to open the door to a stainless steel container. He pulled on two gloves and reached in. Kim tensed to see what doomsday device was going to be used on her this time.
"Cookies are done!"
The warm sugary smell of chocolate and cinnamon filled the lair.
"Cookies?!" It wasn't often Kim Possible was caught off guard but this was quickly becoming one of the oddest missions she'd ever been on. "Wha-"
Drakken clapped his hands, catching Kim's attention. "Excellent! Henchman Dave here is about to capture my knight and I could do with a snack."
The henchman handling the cookies wagged his finger. "Nuh-uh sir. These need to cool, so hands off. That means you, Shego."
The woman in question put her nail file down, picked up a magazine and started flipping through the pages, not deigning to reply.
Drakken questioned his henchman-turned-pastry chef. "Henchman Bob, do we have any milk for these delectable treats? I do so enjoy a nice, tall glass of milk with fresh cookies."
"I believe we do sir, I'll just go down to the – "
"Will someone tell me what is going on here?" An irate voice rang out.
The occupants of the room stopped and turned to look at the now fuming teenager with puzzled looks on their faces.
"You're still here?" Shego sounded bored.
Kim glared and crossed her arms. "Yes, I'm still here. Now hand over the software you stole and let's get this over with."
"What are you talking about Princess?"
"Argh! Don't play stupid with me Shego. I know you took that dream sequencing software from the Sleep Lab. Hand it over."
A dark eyebrow raised questioningly, "What software?"
The teen hero scoffed, "Oh I'm just supposed to believe you've been here the entire time, all innocent right?"
A smirk found its way to the green skinned woman's lips. "Well, innocent is such a strong word Pumpkin. Answer this though, am I breaking any laws?"
"Well…"
"Destroying any property?"
"No but – "
The thief waved her hand dismissively. "Boring as it sounds Kimmie, it's our day off. What, heroes don't get those?"
"Of course we do, I just…"
"So villains don't get a break? "We can't just sit around and kick back?" Shego grinned; baiting Kim had always been a favorite pastime of hers. "Tsk tsk Kimmie, I'm surprised at you. Thought you hero types were for equality for all and all that garbage."
"We are! I –"
Shego snorted. "Apparently not, seeing as how you just barged in here like you owned the place. What's next? You gonna take our cookies too?"
"Ghaa! Shut up! I know you stole that software and that Drakken's hatching another plan to take over the world."
The eyebrow rose again. "Says who?"
The red head flipped open her Kimmunicator while keeping an eye on her nemesis. "Wade, relay sitch back to me again."
"Sure Kim but uh, what are you doing at those coordinates?"
The teen froze and said slowly, "Those are the coordinates you sent. Where Drakken and Shego are with the stolen software." A feeling of dread started to form in the pit of her stomach.
"Kim, I never said it was Drakken and Shego. I relayed the coordinates to Ron because you were out of range when they were being transmitted. Speaking of, I'll have to do some tests on your Kimmunicator to see why you weren't able to receive the information."
Kim blinked slowly. This could not be happening. Kim Possible did not break and enter into the wrong villain's lair. "Did you say you sent the coordinates to Ron?"
"Yeah. Kim, is there a problem?" The boy genius was concerned for his friend, who was rapidly turning red in the face.
"That's what I thought you said. Wade, can you re-transmit?" she asked weakly. This was not happening, except that it was and with the one person she absolutely did not want it to happen in front of.
"Sure thing Kim. Re-transmitting now." She heard a few clicks of the keyboard.
A blush steadily worked its way up Kim's face. "Thanks Wade."
"No big, as you like to say. Transport will be there in about 15 minutes."
The teen flipped the Kimmunicator closed and turned to glare at the blonde boy who was currently trying to make himself as unobtrusive as possible.
"Uh…heh…oops?" Ron shrugged sheepishly.
"Ron!"
"It was an honest mistake!" He hurried to defend himself. "You know I get those two numbers mixed up. Laterade and longitard. I can't remember which one comes first."
Kim rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Ron, latitude and longitude."
"That's it! I knew I was close."
"I'm going to kill you," she hissed.
Ron waved his arms frantically. "It was an accident KP. I swear. No harm done. C'mon, don't be mad." He hated it when his best friend was angry with him. Not to mention, it wasn't necessarily good for his health either.
"I'll deal with you later." The tone was soft and dangerous and Ron gulped. He was in for it now.
Kim closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 'Play it cool Possible. Make a graceful exit and fast.'
"Problems, Princess?"
She opened her eyes to see Shego looking at her with a sardonic smile on her face.
"It would seem that I may have made a slight miscalculation and um, came to the wrong lair."
"What? Miss Perfect made a mistake? Is that even…possible?"
Kim gritted her teeth. 'Stay cool. Breathe. Graceful exit. You can do it.' "Looks that way. I'll just be going."
Drakken spoke up again, "Really Kim Possible, what sort of manners are those parents of yours teaching you? Barging into our lair unannounced, destroying property. Speaking of, who's going to replace the door you kicked in? These things aren't cheap, I'll have you know."
The teen counted to ten and made a valiant attempt to hold on to her temper. "I'll pay to replace your door."
"I suppose that will do. I should probably speak to your parents about your behavior. Next time, do the polite thing and knock," the mad scientist sniffed.
'Pompous jerk. Who does he think he is, lecturing me? I ought to…easy Kim, graceful exit.' "Right. I'll remember that," she managed to say through tightly clenched teeth. She turned to go when a voice stopped her short.
"Aren't you forgetting something Kimmie?"
Kim slowly pivoted on her heel to face her archenemy. "What?" she ground out.
"What do we say when we make a mistake?" Shego was enjoying this far too much.
Another blush spread across Kim's face and her temper skyrocketed. Leave it to Shego to revel in her pain this much. The hero had thought she might be able to retreat without having to say the dreaded words.
Green eyes met with green and a silent conversation took place between them.
'I hate you.'
'Don't blame me, this is all your fault.'
You're going to pay for this.'
'Can't wait Princess.'
'You are a pain in my…'
'You love it.'
'Whatever.'
'Later?'
'Count on it.'
"Well?" Shego smirked. No one was the wiser to their little conversation; it was one of the benefits to knowing your opponent so well.
Glaring daggers at the thief, Kim mumbled something unintelligible.
"What was that? Didn't quite catch it."
"I'm sorry," the teen enunciated slowly. Shego was definitely going to pay for this.
"For?" The green-skinned woman couldn't help taunting the girl a bit more. Her Princess was absolutely magnificent when pissed.
Kim had never felt the need to swear before but a litany of curses that would have made her parents faint threatened to spill from her lips. "You know what for Shego."
The villainess shook her head. "Can't say I do. Maybe Dr. D will have to have that chat with your parents after all."
Silence as two pairs of eyes met again.
'Pain. Maiming. Hurting!'
'Ooh Pumpkin, you promise?'
'Shego!'
"We're waiting. C'mon, cookies are getting cold. I don't have all day." A smug smile crossed Shego's lips.
Wishing a painful torment on the green-hued woman, Kim managed to speak the words that threatened to choke her. "I'm sorry for breaking the door down and for interrupting your afternoon."
The thief sighed dramatically and slowly shook her head. "I'm very disappointed in you Kimmie but I hope you've learned your lesson. Your apology is accepted. Don't let it happen again."
The hero made a strangled noise in her throat and stormed out with a still contrite Ron Stoppable in tow.
10 minutes later….
"Shego! That was brilliant. She never suspected a thing. Just like you said."
"Doy! I told you, if you act cool and take the upper hand, your enemy will be so caught off guard, they'll never have a clue. You gotta step up your game Dr. D. Otherwise the Princess is going to just swoop in and foil your plans like every other time before."
The scientist pondered this a moment. "It would appear you're right. Henchman Dave! Bring out the Dream Destroyer and get me a glass of milk."
Fin.