Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Authors notes: Hello! This is my first story, a Sasu+Naru story. This story takes place in the anime version of Konoha and is set around the time when Sasuke attempts to leave Konoha. This story is one that will touch you once you grasp at the sheer emotion that drives it. From beginning to end, there will always be a main point of interest, that will have you reading from chapter 1 through to the end. Bold is actual conversation, Italics are thoughts or comments or particular points of interest, and plain text it plain text. :) This story contains YAOI, BOY+BOY LOVE. If this make you feel uncomfortable, or offends you for any reason, please redirect your browser. :) Please leave reviews, I do appreciate it! And so, without further a due, My Love, My Pain, My Sasuke!

My Love, My Pain, My Sasuke

Chapter 1

Memories of Sin, Pain, Love and Death

It was a sunny morning in Konoha; the village was lazily awakening to the new day ahead. It was a peaceful morning with the shop owners slowly getting everything ready for the public, greeting pedestrians and shop managers nearby.

In Naruto's room, a stream of light was splashing on part of Naruto's face. He had stayed up very late last night, staring at the endless sky because of his inability to sleep. He was lying in his bed, curled up into a ball, hugging a pillow for comfort and support. His face was relaxed and serene, his mouth slightly open and his hair splashing his head, adding to the effect of the light in his face. His right hand was holding on to a headband, dark red splats of dried blood still evident on the blue cloth.

Naruto winced a little as the ray of light intensified on his face. At this point he opened his eyes, a shade of blue that would normally shine bright, were dark. He had closed his eyes to absorb the refreshing warmth on his face until a shadow deprived him of the light, followed by a sharp tapping noise coming from the glass of his window. Naruto opened his eyes to see a bird with a medical symbol on a cloth wrapped around its wing sitting on his window sill. It was a messenger bird from the Konoha hospital.

Naruto was to write a report on what had happened a week before. Sasuke had tried to escape Konoha. Sasuke nearly got what we wanted. Sakura had tried her best to stop Sasuke, but she could not convince him and he carried on to the gates of the village, where he met with Kiminaro and the sound four. Just as they were leaving, a limping Naruto had appeared before them. Naruto couldn't help but try to remember what had happened…

Naruto was crying. Sasuke had made Naruto suffer many, many times before. On purpose or unwillingly, it hurt all the same. Naruto loved Sasuke, to a point where it hurt him more than the stares of those whom reject him in the village. Though Naruto isn't sure himself, he can safely say the pain isn't because he likes Sasuke, who is a guy, his rival and best friend. It's so hard, painful, and saddening, because Naruto, without his knowledge, fell in love with this person, sometime long ago, and has been secretly in love, never to be acknowledged nor returned like the countless fantasies and dreams he's had, each one sweeter than the last, and all the more heart wrenching. Kept a secret from Sasuke, kept a secret from the world, and for sometime, even himself.

Naruto couldn't believe Sasuke was going to leave everything, his friends, home, and pride, everything that could ever have importance to Sasuke, to take up on Orochimaru's offers of power. What got Naruto most angry… was the fact that he's going to leave him, alone and heartbroken, to suffer. To leave him and everything else, for Orochimaru and Itachi. The fact, that he didn't even say goodbye, that he never returned what Naruto now most treasured. And that he intended to keep it away for good.

Naruto has no recollection of what happened afterwards. He'd been crying like he'd never cried in his life, feeling as if he were crying his blood and soul out, letting the endless sadness flow out of his body in a way that's it's as if he was losing the warmth of life itself. He'd reached a point where he'd probably lost consciousness and fainted, falling to the ground, but his desire to stop Sasuke was immeasurable.

All he remembers was that after blanking out, he was watching through his eyes what the Kyubi was gazing upon. The entire sound four were lying on the ground, with webs, spiders and troll corpses, amongst other battle tools, not too far off. Kiminaro stood like a statue made of bone, in a gesture that seemed to make it obvious he was trying to defend himself with his life against whatever it was the Kyubi had done to him. Now Naruto watched as Sasuke was on the ground in front of him, broken, in pain, and unable to move. Naruto stood frozen inside himself, staring at his love, a few moments away from death as Kyubi was ready to kill, to spill his loved ones blood, to make sure there's no one to make him suffer like that again. Naruto had always wanted a moments rest, a time where he could finally breathe and not cry nor think about his love, to wallow in self sorrow, but never would he want to do this, to have his own hands spill the blood, to take the life away from his love, his Sasuke.

Sasuke tried to speak, spilling blood from his mouth but managing to talk "I c-cant … d-die here …"

Kyubi was about too kill Sasuke, preparing its claw, enveloped in a demonic hatred red energy, for one final slash, to take just one more life, one life in comparison to the many it's already taken. It seems so insignificant, but that one death will take its toll on Naruto, it will break him, shatter his hopes, his love, because if Sasuke is dead… if his love is dead, so is the heart he was more than willing to give him, the heart that had only Sasuke's name. Naruto could only watch, horror practically pouring from the cracks of his already breaking self. Kyubi carried on, nothing being able to stop it at this point. Naruto was shattering into many uneven broken pieces, like a mirror, reflecting in his broken self… he's broken without his Sasuke. The final hit… the one to take everything from him… his own hand will take everything from him. He will never hear his voice, see his eyes, and feel the warmth of his body, the friendship, the smell or taste… every trace of Sasuke will be taken away from him… by his own hand. Everything, except the painful memories. The memories of sin, regret, love, death… the memories that will now scar and pain him for the rest of his life… if Sasuke were killed…

A heart wrenching scream was the only thing that followed, and a shattering silence.

"Naruto!!"

Coming up on Chapter 2: Black out! Naruto wanders through the village, still in a state of alert from the nighttime kidnappers. Naruto, tortured by his demons that wont let him rest in peace, has no choice but to fall into his memories once more to find some relief from the relentless claws of reality. All that and more, coming up on chapter 2!