Have you ever felt that you weren't, well, human anymore? I've killed so many, including those who once called themselves my friends. Yet, I don't think I would take any of it back. Don't you think it strange then that I fear I've lost my humanity? Well, you wouldn't, if you knew why I thought it had all been justified; why I hoped that I was still human.
The reason is her. I have no regrets, because everything has led me to her. I'd do anything for her, including killing myself, if she asked, but I'm afraid. Is this real? How can a person with no soul love? You see, that is why I fear I have no more sympathy. My feelings for her cannot be real if I have none, and I desperately want this to be real.
No one would believe me at this point. How could a murderer so evil love or fear not being able to love? I know it sounds ridiculous; I'm not stupid. However, if you think about it, it is not so strange. I am very emotional; you have seen this with my temper. I am ruled by my passions (Would you believe that it was an argument that caused me to stab my friend through the chest?). Yet, anger is not my only sentiment. I am also fueled by resentment, jealousy, fear, and love. I killed my friend out of rage, I killed the rest of them out of fear they would kill me, I betrayed the council out of resentment for how quick they were to judge me, I stayed in Cyclonia out of fear of being killed, and now I stay out of what I hope is love for her. So, you see, I am not so evil, just a slave to my emotions.
That is why I am questioning myself now. I am afraid I cannot love her. I am afraid I am no longer human. I'm just a coward in the end I guess, for thinking is the only way I'm brave enough to try and solve this. There are other ways, such as seeing if I can help someone, but she will never love me if I was that way. She'd turn me out of Cyclonia now if she found out. At least, that's what I'm afraid will happen, so I guess there is no other way to find my answer than sitting here and pondering it.
I already knew all that. I guess writing it down didn't help at all.
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Well, what did you guy's think? It's a Dark Ace fanfic obviously, but I'll let you all guess who the girl is. However, if you don't know, I gotta admit that you're stupid.
This is just a test. I have an idea to continue it, but you all will have to review it if you want me to. Plus, you get an imaginary cookie if you review too! -