How come I end up where I started
How come I end up where I went wrong
Won't take my eyes off the ball again
You reel me out then you cut the string
How come I end up where I started
How come I end up where I went wrong
Won't take my eyes off the ball again
First you reel me out then you cut the string
You used to be alright
What happened?
Did the cat get your tongue
Did your string come undone
One by one
One by one
It comes to us all
It's as soft as your pillow
You used to be alright
What happened?
Etcetera etcetera
Facts for whatever
Fifteen steps
Then a sheer drop
How come I end up where I started
How come I end up where I went wrong
Won't take my eyes off the ball again
You reel me out then you cut the string
~15 STEPS, Radio head
A/N:Originally I thought I would just make this a couple of long ass five shots but later decided that my attention span isn't all that it's cracked up to be….so yes, it will be broken up but hopefully not too long. Anyway…. .LEWAAAAARD!
15 Steps
His name was Samuel. Samuel Jay Uley. He was a sweetheart, with too hard of an exterior but the insides of marshmallows. He was smart, tall and dark. Perfect. At least…so I thought.
We met at the beginning of my freshmen year, when I was still a too short-knobby-kneed-nobody with nerdy square glasses. He was, well, Sam. A wannabe jock that was actually a nerd with a military sense about him. He didn't stand for illegal shit. Didn't do drugs but still liked to drink a bit. He was a huge hypocrite when he wasn't thinking, which was mostly when he was angry. That was a tendency among the Quileute boys…and me. We were all hot headed.
By the time month three came along, we were inseparable, practically joined at the hip. We were like two halves of the whole universe: one was wild crazy and spontaneous. The other, an enforcer and liked to keep order. We balanced each other out, which was great because during our shit years, we kept each other sane.
Over the years we grew closer until we were practically merged together. Everyone in town thought we wouldn't last. Honestly, who wouldn't? I was the daughter of two Council members and Sam the son of a no good whore fucking father. It would have never worked. But it did. For four glorious years. We stuck it through. Then everything began to change….
"Leah? You awake? C'mon, you're going to make us late!"
Jacob snarled, as he continued to pound his fist into the door. I retaliated to this by stuffing my head up under my pillow and cursing for even thinking about letting that pain in the ass known as Jacob Retard Black into my house. But that had been a year ago when I had made that decision. I had been young, naïve and recently heartbroken. I needed someone (even if that was as idiotic and happy go lucky as Black) I mean honestly, he should be kissing my feet after I freaking saved his sorry bum from that place and a months' worth of heartache. Instead the beast was eating the hell out of my food, breaking down my doors and being a complete pain.
Seth was never this bad.
Away from the fucking door, Black, I spat after having enough of the incessant pounding. My ears were still ringing even as my voice rose just enough so that the idiot could hear but not our neighbors. The last time Jake and I had gotten into a shouting match. The morons had ended up calling the police. I really did not want a replay of that evening, especially not today. Today of all days, why did I have to agree to this. My body slumped on its own at the thought. It was now an automatic response when I thought about the break up.
Ugh. Shit, I still had that bitter taste even after all this time. When the fuck was I going to get over him.
Him. Him. Him. Him. HIM!
Sam.
Asshole…
Without so much as a pause, I yanked my door open to reveal a still banging Jacob. His face was an amusing mixture of shock frustration and concern. All three emotions left his face before turning into a grimace.
Awwwww, Lee? What the hell! Put some clothes on before your nipples blind me. Jacob all but screamed as I roughly brushed past him and toward the bathroom. He was still screaming something about having a girlfriend and her killing him. I scowled.
Shut up, idiot. It's not like you haven't seen me nude before. Stop being a pansy, you fruit, I said as I slammed the door and listened to the apartment rattle.
Jake, who I assumed was on the other side of the door, sighed.
Yeah, Leah real mature. How can you call me a fruit after all we've shared? After all this manliness you've seen?
I snorted, as I remembered his so called manliness. The first time we did it, he had been barely legal, and terrible at it…then again I was desperate at the time. So it kind of evened out. Now, things were different, but kind of the same. It sucked.
Yes, Jake. I take it back. You are the manliest man thing I've ever seen, my voice drawled as I turned on the faucet, and waited for it to warm up. It had taken me a while to realize exactly how cold it could get in the Big Apple, especially while living in a rundown apartment on the bad side of town. But I guess I couldn't complain I was use to the cold. Jake and I had lived in La Push Washington, before we came here to New York. Back on the Rees, where there was nothing but wilderness and people. It was a complete snores feast when nothing was going on. Which, luckily for us, there was always something going on?
I allowed myself to smile, as I remembered a few parties and good times of the past. Paul's tenth birthday. Rachel's graduation. Embry finally getting laid. And yes that was definitely a big thing; no one thought he was ever going to get some…at least not when we were all alive…
Anyway the point was there had been a shit load of good times that had been shredded in less than three months. What a waste of a life….
Jake was no longer berating me when I finally came back to the land of the living and conscious. Instead I could hear the sweet ringing of silence, which was weird because Jake never shut up (and I do mean never. He snores like a bull mastiff mixed with a walrus). Unless he's stuffing his face, of course. But besides, that…
Attentively I pressed my head to the door, and listened intensely for any sign of life on the other side. There was nothing except the soft buzzing of the radio and a couple of mumbled words.
Oh…okay…Yeah…Alright. Yup. Loves you too Liz. Bye.
Silence.
Oh….
Shit.
Liz.
Fuck.
LEAH! Hurry up. We're going to be late for your appointment!
And with that, the silence was shattered and the younger Jacob, I once knew and was thoroughly annoyed by was gone (for the moment anyway) and the new, older, yet equally annoying Jacob was back. I groaned, and cursed, suddenly feeling as if I had aged back a few years. I hated when Jacob used that voice. It was just so fucking demanding, and fatherly like.
I shuttered as more memories pressed into my retinas and pushed them back with a bit more effort than necessary. I didn't need a guilt trip, not yet. Not until, I was 'safely' in my psycho-therapists office and free to express myself in any way possible.
I can't believe I agreed to this.