Nonsense Cookerature: How to Create a HiccupxSelf Insert Fanfiction

by ChaMeleonNinja812

A easy to read, easy to prepare recipe guiding you on how to prepare your very own Hiccupxself insert fanfiction. Success is NOT guaranteed and a terrorist attack might follow. Don't Like? Please Read! Flame please! Compliments are not allowed.

1. Chuppter On

Greetings, stranger. If this is your first time reading one of my abominations, I apologize beforehand for any damage inflicted upon your sanity, ego or retinas.I am so sorry.

In case your tiny cerebral cortexes haven't worked it out yet, HTTYD belongs to Dreamworks and Cressida Cowell, not me, not my cat Zeref, and no, it doesn't belong to Donald Trump either, contrary to common belief.

Anyways, on with the show! (or, in this case, the recipe)

How to Create Thy Very Own HiccupxSelf Insert FanfictionThou shalt require:

1 ooc Hiccup

1 self insert 900000 ml romantic cliches

2 cups of fantasies

125 g raging prepubescent female hormones

1000 kg corn kernels

2500 kg brie cheese(grated)

5 heaped tablespoons grammar bad

1/2 cup badd spaling

1 ooc Berk cast(afterthought)

* this recipe does not require a plot so don't even bother

* *for a HiccupxOc fanfiction, simply change name and colouration of self insert

Step on:Beat raging hormones using electric mixer at high speed until fluffy. Fold in fantasies using overactive imagination. Set aside.

Step tw:Preheat oven at 1000 for 15 minutes. Bake ooc Hiccup at 250000 for 45 minutes or until smoking hot.

Step thre:In a large beer keg, add your smokin' hawt Hicc, hormone mixture, and half of the romantic cliches. Swing keg around your head several times. Then, add the rest of the cliches and self insert. Swing until well combined.

Step fou:To prepare the corny cheese/cheesy corn sauce, blend cheese and corn until smooth. Heat mixture in a cowboy hat over stove at low heat, stirring gently with a spork. Remove from heat after 10 minutes. Set aside until needed.

Step fiv:Pour your unholy self insert mixture onto a baking tray. Sprinkle in ooc Berk cast as an afterthought. Wait until it sets. Then poke holes in it using Deadly Nadder quills. Drizzle with cheese sauce and leave to firm up.

Step si:Garnish with grammar bad and badd spaling before serving. If desired, add a lame-ass screenshot cover with comic sans lamer-asser title. Serve. And by serve I really mean "inflict this repulsive mess upon the eyes of your audience so that it corrodes their retinas".

Well now that's over with, once again, I offer my sincere apologies for any physical and emotional harm caused by this abomination.

Thank you for wasting your time to wallow through this mess. I appreciate it, I really do.

Remember to flame!