Talent-less Tellius
A/N: Not sure if I'm making this a one-shot or not. Depends on whether you all like it or not. So if you like it and want me to continue, please review!
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The stage was set. The lights were ready. The crowd was gathered. The judges were seated. The contestants were lined up. And the host was, well, annoying.
"Ah, welcome, everyone, ladies and gentlemen, lords and countrymen, queens and kings, to Tellius's own test of will, determination, skill, endurance, and best of all…
"TALENT!" boomed the host.
And of course, as you all could guess, the obnoxious host was none other than Bastian, the Count of Fayre.
The crowd sighed. Bastian could be quite annoying at times.
"Now, to meet the judges!
"First, we have…Princess Leanne!"
"Uhh…hi…everyone," Leanne said sweetly.
"Next, we have the master tactician, Soren!"
"Shut it, Bastian," Soren remarked rather rudely, I might add.
"No, Soren, I will not 'shut it,' for now I must introduce our last judge…the fair Lady Lucia! My one true love! Milady! I love you!"
Lucia shook her head and hit her button, which made a loud buzzing noise.
"You're an embarrassment, Count Bastian."
"Ahh…such a compliment coming from you…hey! Wait a minute!"
"…Bastian…"
"Oh, yes, on with the competition! Our first competitor is…Sir Kieran!"
Kieran walked onto the stage, bringing with him three axes.
"So, Kieran, what are you going to do?"
"Well, Soren, I am going to juggle axes for your entertainment!"
Lucia and Soren looked at each other worriedly.
"This will end…badly…"
"Most likely."
"Okay, Kieran, get on with it."
"Yes, sir!"
Kieran then attempts to juggle his three axes. When he throws them up in the air, one comes back down and cuts his foot. Another zips past Leanne's head, missing her. And the last…got stuck in the ceiling and wouldn't come back down.
Lucia and Soren immediately hit their buttons. Leanne is too stunned to do anything.
"Please…someone…make…it…stop…"
Soren hit Leanne's buzzer for her.
"T-thank y-you."
"So…do I make it through?"
"Uhh…Soren? Leanne?"
"Uhh…no…"
"No way!"
"It's a no for me too. Sorry, Kieran.
"B-but! I was GREAT!"
"Janaff!"
Janaff, the security guard, comes on stage, grabs Kieran--who is still whining like a baby--and drags him off-stage.
"Thanks, Janaff!"
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"Ahh…and for our next act, we have…General Geoffrey!"
"Oh great. It's my brother. His talent's probably knitting or something stupid like that."
Geoffrey walks out on stage.
"So, Geoffrey, what is your talent?"
"I'm going to knit a sweater."
"Told you."
"Uh-huh. So go ahead, Geoffrey."
"Okay."
Geoffrey pulled out light violet and pale yellow yarns and knitting needles and began knitting quite quickly.
Soren hits his buzzer.
Geoffrey finished his sweater within ninety seconds.
"Here, Lucia. I made this sweater for you."
Geoffrey handed his newly made sweater to his sister.
"Aww, thanks, Geoffrey!"
Lucia set the sweater down on the table and hit her button.
"That wasn't nice."
"Your point, Soren?"
Soren sighed.
"Okay, Geoffrey, I say no. Leanne?"
"Y-yes. I like sweater."
"That's nice…Lucia?"
"Geoffrey, you're going…home!"
"W-what? Come on guys, knitting's cool!"
"Never said it wasn't. I just don't like you. Good-bye."
Geoffrey walked off stage.
"NEXT!"
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"Yes, up next, we have…Duke Oliver?"
"Yes, Bastian. Now shut up."
Oliver walked out on stage with Reyson and Rafiel on leashes.
"My brothers?"
"Leanne…"
"…please…"
"…help…"
"…us…"
Leanne hits her button.
"Oliver, what is your talent?"
"I am a collector of beauty!"
"Freak."
Lucia hits her button.
"You know, Leanne, you too could be in my exhibit!"
"Umm…er…no!"
Leanne hits Soren's button.
"Get him away!"
Janaff flies out, unties Reyson and Rafiel--who leave the stage--and takes Oliver off the stage.
"That was disturbing."
"Yes."
"V-very."
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"And last but not least, we have…Queen Nailah!"
Nailah and Volug--who is carrying a bookshelf--come onto the stage. Volug sets the bookshelf down and walks off-stage.
Some music starts playing and Nailah begins dusting the bookshelf with her tail.
Soren hits his button.
Bastian and Soren look confused.
Nailah finished dusting off the shelf and the music stopped.
"I say no."
"Oh come on, Soren! It's the best we've seen all day! I say yes. Leanne?"
"You dust my house?"
"Sure, Leanne."
"Then I say yes."
"Nailah, you're going to Sienne!"
"Woo-hoo!"
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So Nailah dominated the first day of Talent-less Tellius, while Kieran, Geoffrey, and Oliver were eliminated. Will the judges have better luck next time? Stay tuned to find out!
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A/N: Okay, so credit goes to my cousin for help with the Nailah and Geoffrey ideas. And for the record, I have no problem whatsoever with knitting, which I find extremely challenging, it's just not talent show material. Right?
So, as I've said, I don't know if this will be a one-shot or not. I have a few more ideas, but if no one's interested in it, I probably won't write it, considering I have a few other fics I'm working on. So if you like it, let me know!