Lonely Faye Oneshot

Thank you if you are reading this right now. This was something I just wrote because I needed a break from the other story that I'm currently working on. At first, I wanted to make this into a full short story, but then I decided against it. Why? Because I can't work on two stories at the same time for one, and I'm having hard time figuring out the details to this story.

SO, anyway. Enjoy reading. R&R's would be lovely. This story hasn't been edited so if there are any grammar mistakes or typos, I'm sorry. :)

So alone…

There had been times in Faye Valentine's life when she felt as if she didn't need anyone. Being brought out of a comatose state into a world that she didn't know threw her in a loop. It made her a loner and an outcast. She had no memories of where she came from, so decided it was best to make up a story of her own. That way, if anyone ever asked her about her history, she would have something to say other than giving them a stupid look and silence.

Her life was one that was on the run. At least in the beginning. It was during her time as Poker Alice that she met this strange man out of sheer coincidence. If it hadn't been for him, Faye knew that her life wouldn't nearly have been as exciting. After their encounter, she knew that he was someone that would impact her life forever and she was right. In what seemed like a short time, she was a member of their bounty hunting team, of course by her choice. She had a way of persuading anyone to do what she wanted.

It was a fun couple of years with those boys, even through all the drama and fighting. It was a strange sort of family, very dysfunctional and thrown together. Who could have ever known that these people would grow to care for one another? That is why after Spike died, she felt as if she had no other choice but to leave. Ed had gone to Earth with that mutt of a dog, so it would've only been her and Jet. It wouldn't be the same; it would be too awkward.

Faye laid in her bed, staring at the alarm clock. It had just turned on, signaling for her to wake up to yet another monotonous and boring day. A small hand appeared from beneath the quilt that covered her, pressing gently on the clock. There was no need for her to be the same girl she once was. There wasn't a need for her to do anything anymore.

Turning on her back, Faye stared up at the ceiling. A fan turned around slowly and as she watched it, tears formed in her eyes. She was quick to wipe them away, of course. Even in the solitude of her own room she would not allow herself to cry. It was too much of a weakness to cry and she didn't want to prove to herself that she was not strong enough to handle this new life of hers.

What life? As she thought about it, she knew that this wasn't a life, but a death sentence. How many times could she remember laying in her bed all day, smoking countless amounts of cigarettes and drinking bottle after bottle of alcohol? Too many to even start and Faye hated to admit that to herself. But what else was there to do with herself? She had tried on occasions to go and bounty hunt again, 

trying to get into the old routine of things, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. It was too painful and it brought of memories of Spike.

Oh, Spike Spiegal. He was one of those types that you either hated or you loved dearly. And for Faye, it was the latter. There wasn't anyone else in this world that she loved more than that man. It was useless for her to feel this way of course, as his love was for another woman. Julia. Someone that left him without as much as a goodbye. At first, this woman intrigued Faye. She was just as mysterious as Spike was. But now she infuriated her. It was Julia's fault that Spike went there; Julia's fault that he died. If it hadn't been for that stupid bitch, then everything would have been fine. He would still be alive and she would have him to herself.

Faye rolled back over on her side. This was useless thinking, of course. There was nothing she could do about it, so she should stop thinking about the what ifs. Her mind wandered instead to his face. It had been a while since she last saw him, about two years. His face was getting fuzzy in her mind. It was now that Faye wished that she had taken a photo of Spike. Without someone tangible to look at, all she had were pictures and memories that were all up in her head. Even those were proving to be useless.

She dragged herself out of bed, carrying herself to the large window. The only window that was in her room, its view showing the city of Mars. Faye didn't know why she had come here. Maybe in a way, it brought her closer to him? How naïve could she be! She had to get him off her mind, but there wasn't any way to do it, it was useless. Faye had tried without success. So it seemed that the only option was that she would have to live with his ghost the rest of her life.

Pressing a hand against the cool glass, she slid the window open. Hot air hit her body, blowing her hair and nightgown around her small frame. Looking below on the busy streets, a thought came into her head. She should jump. That was a good plan. It would be a way to end all the thoughts in her head. What a nice way to go. Live your life to the fullest, end up wallowing in sorrows and regrets, and end it all by jumping off a building. Yeah… That was a way to go. As she stepped up on the window, Faye sat on the sill. Her gaze still on the ground below. Standing carefully, she began to let herself fall.

A panic rushed through her as she grabbed against the wall. No, this wasn't right. This wasn't the way she wanted to end her life. Faye wanted to go out the way all infamous people did; with a show and a bang. Suicide seemed so selfish, even for her. With heavy breaths, she went back in the window.

Today wasn't a good day to die.