Nearly Over You Now – Chapter 1
-O-
DISCLAIMER: I am not connected to Emmerdale and its characters, which belong to ITV
-O-
Paddy looked at Chas; she was serving behind the bar as usual, but, her expression and demeanour told him that something was troubling her. In a quiet moment between customers, he managed to attract her attention.
"You're not your usual sparkling self tonight," he said.
"Oh, cheers, Paddy!" Chas grimaced.
"Look, I don't mean to pry, but is something wrong?"
Chas looked at Paddy steadily; although they had once been lovers; and their relationship had ended, they had remained on good terms and they had a mutual interest in Chas's son, who Paddy still looked upon as a surrogate son of his own.
"It's Aaron!" Chas looked almost relieved to have spoken his name, as if doing so was lifting a weight off her shoulders.
"He's not cutting himself again, is he?" Paddy's face was full of concern.
"No," Chas replied, "well, I don't think so; I'm never very good at spotting the signs! When he started doing it I had no idea! Anyway, no; it's the way he's been since Hazel left. These days, he just sits in his room playing his music: he never goes out or sees his mates. Adam calls sometimes but Aaron makes some excuse not to see him. I'm worried about him, Paddy!"
"Have you tried to talk to him?"
Chas gave Paddy a look which made a verbal answer almost superfluous, "Talk to him? This is Aaron we're talking about! Communication was never his specialist subject!"
"Do you want me to have a word?" Paddy asked.
"And say what, exactly? 'Why don't you have a night out?' 'Don't lock yourself away in your room?' I've tried all that but, you know Aaron, the more you tell him not to do something, the more he'll do it!" Chas looked unsure of herself; she thought that her next statement would almost betray a confidence, "He's been talking to himself, too."
"Well, we all do that at times," Paddy smiled.
"But it's a bit weird, you know, like he's really talking to someone in his room, but I know that no-one else is in there."
"Maybe he's on his mobile, talking to his mates?" Paddy suggested.
"I thought that...at first," Chas continued, "but last night, I passed his bedroom door and he was nattering away, as usual. I was going to knock and ask if everything was OK, but I thought better of it and came back downstairs; that's when I saw his mobile phone on the table in the back room! He'd forgotten to take it up with him. So I took it up for him and, as I got near the door, I distinctly heard him say 'Jackson'! I knocked and told him he'd left his phone downstairs. He came to the door and took it from me and I asked him who he had been talking to; but he shrugged and said he hadn't been talking to anyone and that it must have been the radio."
"Hmmm!" Paddy looked thoughtful, "So he seems to be covering it up...whatever it is."
"I'm really scared, Paddy, I don't know what to do."
"I don't suppose there's anything to worry about; after all, we all talk to people we've loved and lost, it's a way of coping."
"I hope you're right," Chas did not seem convinced, "I don't know about Aaron, but all this is beginning to do MY head in too!"
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Adam called into the Woolpack for a drink and Chas invited him into the back room; she knew that Aaron was in there and she was determined to get them together to talk.
Adam looked around the room as if searching for something; he did not know how to begin this conversation. However, Aaron spoke first, "If you're going to try to convince me to have a night out, you can save your breath!"
Adam looked at Aaron steadily, "I don't know what's got into you lately, mate; you always seemed to be up for a good night on the lash before! What's up?"
"What's up? You need to ask?"
"Well, I do actually. You were always able to talk to me; when you came out; when Jackson died..."
"He's not dead! Why are you saying that?" Aaron had a face like thunder.
"Don't you remember, mate? You gave him that drink; you were in court over it."
"No!" Aaron put his head in his hands, "You're lying to me! He's still here; I was talking to him last night!"
Adam started to get worried, he looked at Aaron in astonishment; he could tell that Aaron believed every word he was saying. He decided to try to humour him, "Last night? Where did you see him?"
"In my room of course!" Aaron looked at Adam, but his eyes looked glazed, almost mad, "Where do you think?"
Adam tried to keep up the pretence of complying with Aaron's whim, but his honesty got the better of him, "Aaron, mate; you couldn't have seen him. He's out there, in the graveyard!"
"Stop it!" Aaron spit out the words vehemently, "I WAS with him last night; why are you saying these things, you're evil!"
"But..." Adam protested.
"Get out! I don't want to see you anymore; you're no mate of mine!"
Chas burst into the room on hearing Aaron's shouting, "What's going on?" she asked.
"Ask him!" Adam made a move to leave.
"Aaron?" Chas looked at her son.
"Just leave me alone!" Aaron shouted at her; then bolted up the stairs to his room.
Later, as he lay on his bed, Aaron heard the soft voice that he loved so much; it soothed him in a way that nothing else could, "We should go away together again," Jackson's rich, low tones seemed to envelope Aaron as he stared at the ceiling, "We were happy in Lanzarote, weren't we?"
"Yes!" Aaron replied, "So happy!"
"Stay with me tonight; we can share this bed, make love; do whatever you want to do!" Jackson's voice seemed to reach Aaron from a distance.
"Yes!" Aaron replied again, "I'd like that!" He turned his head; Jackson was there; head on the pillow, smiling warmly at him and he melted into the moment.
The next morning, Chas took a breakfast tray up to Aaron's room. She knocked on the door and called his name, but there was no answer. She decided to enter, just to leave the tray of food inside, and was shocked to discover that Aaron was nowhere to be seen. She rushed down the stairs again and found Diane behind the bar, getting things ready for opening time later on.
"What's up?" Diane could see that Chas was upset.
"It's Aaron; he's gone!" Chas said, excitedly.
"What do you mean; 'gone'?"
"What I say, he's not in his room! Where could he be?"
"I shouldn't worry, he's a big boy now; he can look after himself!" Diane was trying to comfort Chas, it was not her intention to sound flippant.
"But that's just it, Diane, I'm not sure he can; the state he's been in recently."
A knock at the door interrupted them and Diane went to answer it.
"Chas," it was Diane's turn to look worried, "Someone to see you!"
Chas looked on as a young police officer entered the bar, "Are you Aaron Livesy's mother?" he asked.
"Yes!" Chas had turned pale, "Oh God! He's alright, isn't he?"
"He's down at the station," the officer reassured her, "The transport police picked him up; he was wandering about on the railway line near Hotten. I think you'd better come with me to the station; we're having trouble getting any sense out of him! He keeps insisting he's going to Lanzarote; but he doesn't have any luggage with him. It's lucky that he had his passport on him so that we could identify him; as he didn't seem to be able to give us his name!"
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A few days later Paddy was giving Chas a lift in his car. Chas did not know what to expect as Paddy drove her up the long, narrow roadway leading to a large house. She had never visited such a place before and the names 'loony-bin' and 'nut-house' rattled around in her head. A tear came to her eye as they approached; she still felt guilty for letting Aaron come here, but she knew that he was probably in the best place. He needed help; pure and simple.
They stood at the door and rang the bell. A very kind young woman answered and let them inside and they briefly waited while she punched a code into a keypad to allow them access through an inner door. The lady then showed Chas and Paddy into an office with a large desk and chair opposite two seats; where they were invited to sit.
"It's quite nice here, isn't it?" Chas sounded surprised.
"What were you expecting?" asked Paddy.
"I dunno, really," Chas looked pensive, "I suppose I was thinking it would be all padded cells and straightjackets!"
"The people in here have mental health problems, Chas, they're not criminally insane!"
Just then, a stout, middle-aged man, dressed smartly in a dark suit, entered the room. He approached Chas and Paddy and shook hands with them as he introduced himself, "I'm Doctor Benson; I've been dealing with Aaron's case," he smiled at them and sat behind the desk.
"How's he doing, doctor?" asked Chas.
"He's showing signs of improvement; we've put him on medication and he seems to be responding. It seems that his brain has shut off some memories that he just couldn't deal with anymore."
"Jackson's death, you mean?" asked Paddy.
"Yes," Doctor Benson continued, "It's as if one part of his mind has blocked that out, but, the memories are still in there somewhere, so there's a bit of a battle going on in his head. We need to try to get him to come to terms with Jackson's unfortunate departure, only then will he be able to move on; once he has accepted the situation fully."
"You make it sound like he's a schizophrenic!" Paddy sounded upset.
"Well, it is a form of schizophrenia," the doctor answered, "but it has a specific cause which can easily be identified, which should make it easier to treat."
"Can we see him?" Chas enquired.
"Yes, of course; although I wouldn't expect too much at this stage."
The doctor led them down a corridor to a bright, sunlit lounge. Two young men were sitting at a table, playing cards and two others were sitting in armchairs, just staring into space. Aaron was on a settee and Chas caught her breath when she saw him. He sat, wringing his hands and looking agitated, and his eyes looked vacant; unfeeling and cold. Chas sat next to him and put her hands on his. "Aaron, love, how are you?"
Aaron looked at Chas, then at Paddy, but he did not speak. In fact, Chas was not even sure if Aaron recognised them.
"Look at him Paddy," Chas' voice trembled with emotion; she spoke as if Aaron was not even present, "I've never seen him like this!"
Chas and Paddy stayed for a long time, chatting about things that had happened back in the village, but Aaron remained silent; detached from their attempts to converse with him. After about an hour; when they finally decided to leave, Chas hugged Aaron to her; but there was no reaction.
As Chas and Paddy crossed the room towards the exit, Aaron suddenly seemed to become aware of their presence, "Mum?" he said.
Chas dashed back to him, "What is it, sweetheart?"
"Will you take me home? I want to go home!" tears rolled down Aaron's cheeks and Chas mopped them with a handkerchief.
"Not today, love," she cooed, "you've got to get better, but we'll be getting you home soon, I promise!"
"I don't like it here!" Aaron cried, "They think I'm a head case! Please, I want to go home!"
Paddy put a reassuring hand on Aaron's shoulder and spoke to him, "Chin up, soldier. The people here are very kind; they'll have you back to your old self in no time."
After they left, Chas sat in Paddy's car and sobbed her heart out, "I hate leaving him here! Did you see the look on his face when I said we couldn't take him with us?"
Paddy put his arm across Chas' shoulders, "He's in the best place; I know it's hard, but I'm sure he'll get better and all this will be worth it."
Chas took some comfort in Paddy's words, but her heart was still breaking.