roses that we tainted, a vocaloid fanfic

Author's Note: Wow, this is, um... Well, let's just say it's rated T for a reason, shall we? (evil laugh) :3

This fanfiction contains one-sided twincest. However, I think incest is definitely WRONG, no question about it. In fact, God clearly says so in the Bible. I just happen to like the angsty part, that's all. :P

{ roses that we tainted }

Oh, the things you do for love...

Her heart breaks a little every time she sees Len and Miku together, her brother and her used-to-be best friend, lips touching and fingers entangled. Enough of it and Rin can't take it anymore. She can't seem to stop the jealousy sweltering in her heart, bubbling up like acid and leaving a sour aftertaste. At first she wondered why she even cared so much, but after too many sleepless, torture-filled nights to count, now she knows the ugly truth a little too well—

She's in love with her own brother.

Sometimes, she thinks everything would be perfect without Miku, the beautiful and impeccable one. Once, the two girls had been best friends, but that was long ago after Len asked Miku out and Rin started breaking apart inside.

Her brother has the most beautiful eyes Rin has ever seen, eyes like twin stars, as blue as the sea. Every time she looks into their depths, she feels like she is drowning—in love. She can gasp for air and claw at her throat all she wants, but she knows the end is inevitable as she sinks deeper into Len's spell, feeling her death draw slowly closer with each painful breath. He is the one killing her.

And his hair, as bright and golden as the sun, the exact same shade as hers. It is the only luminary that brightens her day, but more often than not, Rin sees her brother's blond hair pressed intimately into long, bright turquoise locks. She holds her breath until her lungs are burning, clenches her fists until the color has long drained away from her knuckles, because it is her only way of preventing herself from throwing up at the sight of the "perfect" couple.

Rin knows Len loves her too, but as a sister—how he's supposed to feel. Len is the innocent one, the pure one. It was Rin who broke all the rules and fell in love with her twin, and now she's nothing more than a incestuous freak. The knowledge kills her inside a little every day.

Nobody told her love would be this painful.

One day, Rin invites Miku over to hang out, and they go to the mall and just spend time together like normal girls, normal friends. They shop for clothes together and laugh and take turns trying on ridiculous outfits. It reminds Rin of the old days, when they were best friends and didn't have to worry about anything in the world. The feeling almost makes her feel bad, change her mind. But she shakes her head and forces herself to think of all the times when Miku and Len ignored her to indulge so selfishly in own relationship.

Unknowingly, her nails dig sharply into her thighs, and the sharp tang of blood begins to well up (again) from the scars covering her legs.

I hate you, Miku.

Later when Miku's about to return home, she thanks Rin for the great time they had that day, who just nods and smiles in return. Unseen to Miku, she slips a knife from her pocket into her fingers.

When sleep finally takes over, Rin's dreams are haunted with shadows and fleeting glimpses of pale turquoise. Nebulous blue shapes dance across her vision, skipping closer into her reach but darting away before she can touch them. Too slow! they taunt. Try and catch us! Almost out of her control, fury washes over Rin and turns her mind blood-red. Reaching out and tearing them to shreds out of sheer anger, she watches, satisfied, as the turquoise shadows fade into nothingness, and doesn't feel a bit of guilt.

She wakes up with a start, jolting up in her bed.

Her hands are sweaty, but at least the crimson is gone.

Len knows.

When Rin came back from her day at the mall with Miku, she had planned to wash off the remains of the "innocuous" incident right away. But as soon as she opened the front door, Len's eyes had fallen on her blood-smeared fingers and the knife she was holding, stained a deep crimson. Dark, almost black, drops of blood were dripping onto the floor, tarnishing the immaculate white carpet.

It didn't take him long to put two and two together.

And now he hates her, doesn't want anything to do with her.

Whenever Len looks upon his sister, his eyes narrow in disgust as if her presence alone pains him. He never talks to her again, but Rin can feel the hatred coming off him in waves. Her brother's rejection breaks her to pieces, even more than it did when he and Miku had their first kiss right in front of her. She feels empty, hollow inside, because no one likes her now, everyone gives her that same repulsive look like Len does...

I didn't want this—I just wanted us to be happy together.

But she knows the girl Len loves is lost, gone, and he'll never forgive her for that.

Word has gone around, and Rin can't stop seeing the disgust, the hatred in people's eyes. She used to have a name, once. She was one of the most popular girls in school, invited to all the parties and really, any social event. People she didn't even know would wave and say hi in the hallways, and at lunch, everyone clamored to sit next to her at the "cool" table. In fact, now that she thinks about it, she was the second most popular girl in school.

Second only to Miku, of course.

But now what has she become? Who is this creature that sits alone at lunch at an empty table with no friends at all? A monster, that's what. An unwanted soul who floats around and follows the trails of her former friends as they flee from her tainted hands. It is like a game of hide-and-seek, only everyone is hiding from her out of terror and she can't seek out a single person from the shadows.

Her closest friends abandon her, and even though it doesn't hurt as much as when Len ignores her, her heart is splitting farther and farther apart until all that's left is a huge black chasm in her chest.

"Wait—Luka, come back! Kaito, where are you guys going? Meiko!"

"Ahh... We're kinda busy today, Rin." And every other day too, she thinks dryly. "See you another time?"

She doesn't have a heart anymore.

During the rare times when they don't hide from her, girls call her a murderer, and Len just doesn't know her anymore, it seems.

She needs to get even, for all the ostracism she has ever known, starting with Miku, then Len, then every single freaking person at school. Now, whenever she looks at her hands, she sees traces, stains of bright crimson and remembers the last person who fell at her hands, the last person who had gone too far. Blood on her own fingers, blood on her knife, blood everywhere. She hadn't even known she could do this, didn't know she was this skilled.

Oops, too late.

She laughs.

As the seasons pass, Rin become more and more sick of living, of simply existing. What purpose does she have, now? Her heart is gone, stomped into pieces, and all that's left for her to do is take other people's hearts to make herself feel better. A heart-eating monster.

Sometimes, when she is bored, she idly traces a crooked line of crimson scars down her arms and legs, some still fresh wounds where a blade had sliced into her formerly porcelain skin. She can't help it; it is just her way of getting away from the world, this horrible world where every rose has a thorn, where a web of lies and deceit is tangled, where past sins come back to haunt you.

And when she looks in the mirror, she sees a ghost-pale thin girl, with stringy blond hair and hands perpetually covered in blood (she has long since stopped trying to wash off all the evidence) and dead eyes. Eyes that used to be blue but are now gray, monochromatic like the rest of her life and the world around her... There's also a hint of something else hidden in there and she doesn't know what it is, but it's definitely not sanity.

What a freak.

Insomnia.

Rin sits up in her bed and listens to the still, silent night air. Her curtains blow in the breeze, her window wide open. She just doesn't care anymore. The monsters from outside can come and get her all they want. She swings her legs off the side of her bed, feeling trapped inside a prison of her own. From the confines of her room, she can hear her family sleeping: her dad's snores and her mom's quiet breaths.

Slipping out of bed, Rin makes her way into the hallway. She can't sleep tonight.

She pushes open the door to her parents' room and pauses in the doorway, hesitating.

Good night, Mom and Dad. Sleep tight.

Len sleeps in the room next to Rin's, painfully innocent and unknowing. Her lips form a small smile before she tiptoes to her brother's room, opening the door quietly and taking a seat on his bed, careful not to make any noise, watching him sleep. Without the cold, hatred-filled eyes she is so used to seeing when he's awake, Len looks like an angel. The moonlight through the window casts a glow on his face while he breathes slowly, inhaling and exhaling.

Her brother looks so calm, so at peace.

Rin brushes a stray strand of golden blond hair off his forehead and he still doesn't stir. Without any hesitation, she leans down and kisses his lips. They are warm and soft.

Almost out of habit, she reaches for the knife hidden in her pocket and pulls it out. Its fresh blood-stained silver blade gleams in the moonlight, and Rin admires it for a while. Then, with an exhausted sigh, she lets it fall gently on Len's neck.

When she finally realizes what she's about to do, Rin stops suddenly, considering, but her brother's eyes fly open at that very moment. At the sight of those beautiful blue eyes, Rin almost wants to throw up, let him go. Len's eyes register confusion for only a second before they stretch wide open—so wide that Rin can see their whites—with recognition, shock, then horror.

A bloodcurdling scream echoes through the empty house.

Outside, the night is silent.