Maybe if someone else was narrating this scene, they would have began with a different detail. Jeff probably would have said something snarky about how totally lame it was coming to the beach with his totally lame friends in the totally lame summer when he doesn t even need to be around these totally lame people but totally lame but also kind of hot Annie planned it and he didn t want to let her down(classic Winger. Jerk with a heart of gold), Shirley would have told you all what a beautiful day it was, Britta would have commented about the totally oppressive double standard of men not having to cover their chests, Pierce would have said something politically incorrect about the lesbian couple sweetly holding hands under an umbrella, and Annie would have noticed the cute seagulls fighting over some breadcrumbs.
But it s Abed speaking, and my best friend, Troy, is not wearing a shirt. His arms, his shoulders, his abs, his chest- all exposed for the world to see. And I needed help reacting to this.
Hey man, you okay? Troy asked, raising an eyebrow and putting a hand on my arm. Sure. Of course. -
Abed s not wearing a shirt.
Do the rest of them not notice it? Well, Pierce is perving over some girls and Annie s looking at seagulls and Britta s on one of her rants (to be fair, she s making some good points.)
But Abed s not wearing a shirt.
He s wearing a Batman bathing suit that I bought him (did I think about how cute his butt was going to look in it? Wait, what?) and these goofy-looking goggles perched on his forehead, but no shirt.
And, I mean, that was totally cool. Two dudes can hang out without shirts. Two best friends. Two bros. It s cool. Totally cool.
Abed was looking at me kind of funny. Hey, man, you okay? I asked him. I put my hand on one of his skinny arms, which I guess wasn t really necessary but I did anyway.
Sure. Of course, he said in his usual deadpan manner.
I mean, I was allowed to be a little surprised that my geeky best friend had abs, right? I mean, not like mine, but still, abs were happening. And, I mean, maybe it wasn t the abs themselves I was admiring, but the fact that Abed had abs, the fact that, beneath his geeky surface, Abed was, indeed a boy, and not a bad-looking one, and Okay dude, this is getting weird. Look at Annie s butt for a while.
Annie hopped up and down, and I noticed Troy looking at her. That was the look he had when he looked at certain girls. That look made me feel weird. Sort of like the feeling Watts must have had when Duckie dated Amanda in Pretty in Pink . I don t understand why I m having this feeling about Troy, though. Feelings are really hard.
Let s go in the water! Annie squealed. The rest of the gang nodded in agreement (except for Jeff, who had wandered off to flirt a gaggle of giggling girls). Pierce, Shirley, Britta, Troy and I ran down to the water, with Annie leading the way, bouncing in a way that made Troy look at her, look at her in a way that made my stomach hurt. When we got closer, the the water came in and Troy screamed and jumped towards me the second it touched him. Wow, it s cold! he said while the rest of the group laughed. Troy s naked back was touching my naked front. Troy s butt was touching my .
Oh, come on, it s fine! Annie said, wading in until she was up to her waist. Some guys who were swimming around began to take notice of her. I scanned the beach for Jeff, who I found, still surrounded by his gaggle of girls, looking Annie s way, annoyed.
I think this means that Jeff likes Annie, and certainly Annie likes Jeff. So why don t Annie and Jeff just date each other? Troy tried explaining this to me once, but I just didn t understand. If you had feelings for someone, would it not be logical to simply tell them? But something about the way Troy looked, now significantly wetter as he made his way into the water, made me question how simple that would be. -
Annie looked good, there was no doubt about it. She wasn t the pimply nerd I went to school with anymore.
But I think I kind of like nerds.
The water was cold as hell, but Abed looked kind of weird when I backed up into him. I know he s not used to this kind of thing, so I wanted to show him that the beach can be fun. So I went in up to my waist, and looked back up at Abed, who was coming in to join me.
Annie splashed us. Hey! I replied, splashing her back. Abed joined me, and we continued to splash each other for a few minutes.
Hey, guys. Jeff appeared. I thought I saw him with some hot girls before, but it s pretty obvious he has a thing for Annie. Jeff looked at me, and he looked kinda angry. It hit me that maybe it looked like I was flirting with Annie? The reality of it- me, splashing Annie, Abed, next to me, wet and shirtless, big, scary Jeff Winger thinking I was flirting with his girl. It seemed kinda wrong.
Did I like Annie? I mean, she was hot, sure, and she was cool. But for some reason, all I wanted to do in that moment was tell Jeff, Nah, it s not what you think. I m not interested, she s all yours. Why wasn t I interested?
Jeff started splashing Annie and in a moment they were wrapped up in each other, giggling and teasing each other. -
Stop it! No, you stop it! Jeff and Annie were splashing each other, shrieking and giggling. They were saying stop it , but they looked so happy. This is why people are so confusing. Movies are so much easier to understand.
They were ignoring Troy and me. Hey, guys. Pierce is being gross, so we yelled at him and now he s sulking back on the shore. You guys having fun? Troy smiled. Yeah. I nodded. Yup. Unlikely group of friends, at the beach. Has the whole general air of a teen movie. Except none of us are teens. Classic teen movies always made me wish I had friends when I was a teenager. I noticed my friends cringe a little, but I wasn t sure why, so I continued. Especially Breakfast Club. But then I came to Greendale and met you guys, and we were just like Breakfast Club. I ve actually never seen Breakfast Club said Shirley. What? I was shocked Never seen Breakfast Club I saw it. Didn t like it much Britta added.
I was flabbergasted. But Breakfast Club is a classic! Troy pulled me aside. Look, dude, I know you love movies. And I know the movies that you love are important to you. But when you treat people like that for not having the same taste as you, you seem like kind of a douche. I cocked my head to the side. I do? Yeah, bro. You sound like the kinda asshole who wears a fedora and makes girls feel uncomfortable just by existing. I know you re way awesomer than that. I wasn t exactly sure what Troy was talking about, and I did not like being told what to do, but I didn t want to be a douche to my friends. Okay. I won t be a douche anymore. Troy smiled. I really liked his smile. That s my man. I really liked being called Troy s man, and I wasn t sure why.
I felt bad talking to Abed like that. I know he hated being told what to do, but I can t just let douchery run rampant like that. I was a jock in high school, and I m not tryna make it sound like I had it rough, but trust me, nerds, you can be pretty fucking condescending sometimes. And since I had to take 10th grade English twice, I wasn t gonna let Abed shit on people for not knowing about the classics . He was cooler than that.
That s my man. When he said that, a tiny little smile appeared on his lips. Abed didn t smile a whole lot, but when he did, I had to admit- it was pretty fucking adorable. Oh, whatever. This is my internal monologue, I can say whatever I want. I CAN EVEN SCREAM. ABED, YOUR BUTT LOOKS REALLY NICE IN THAT BATMAN BATHING SUIT. I ALSO KIND OF WANT TO LICK YOUR ABS. ON A DEEPER LEVEL, I THINK I MIGHT BE IN LOVE WITH YOU. DESPITE OUR OUTWARD DIFFERENCES, WE FORGED AN UNLIKELY FRIENDSHIP AND AROUND YOU I CAN JUST BE MYSELF AND YOU RE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN MY LIFE AND YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY THAT SOMETIMES I THINK I M DREAMING. And you can t even hear me. -
Shirley mentioned that she had brought food, so we headed back up to eat. Pierce was still moping, but Shirley handed him some baked good which he proceeded to munch on contentedly. Sorry for not being more specific, but I was pretty focused on Troy then. I sat down on my blanket and ate. Troy was a few feet away from me, talking to Pierce. Jeff and Annie were flirting and Britta was talking to Shirley. I couldn t tell you what anyone was talking about.
Troy made me so happy. I loved being with him. I loved watching TV with him, and going on adventures, and just being around him. I was very sad when I wasn t around him. I wasn t very good at feelings, but I knew that.
But he also made me feel other stuff. Like, when he looks at Annie that way, I feel jealous. And when he doesn t have a shirt on, I feel other things. I ve generally been perceived as asexual my whole life, due to my detached demeanor, but that wasn t true. I ve hooked up with a few girls (let s face it, I am pretty adorable) but as I sat there on the beach, girls were the last thing on my mind. Troy was just so beautiful. I wasn t sure if that was the feeling I was supposed to be feeling, but I was feeling it all the same. The way he wore his heart on his sleeve, and never hid his emotions, which was helpful when you re like me. They way he laughed, and the way he cried. How cute he was when he was confused. The way he was talking to Pierce when the rest of the group couldn t deal with him anymore, cringing at his ignorant statements but never giving up on him, because Troy was nothing if not a good friend. Actually, from now on .friends don t mess with each other.
And that, in a nutshell, was what I liked about Troy. He didn t hide behind a mask of cool, hipster-y cynicism, like Jeff and Britta. He wasn t sugary sweet like Annie and Shirley, but he wasn t mean like Pierce. He was Troy, beautiful Troy. Troy the Pure. Troy, who would make sure I stayed a Lovable Geek and not a Manic Pixie Dream Boy with 80 s-movie-quoting, fedora-wearing Douche tendencies. Troy, without any kind of mask- maybe he had one when he was Troy Barnes, Prom King, when he first showed up at Greendale. But that fell away really quickly, and I fell for him. Troy was a thing of beauty, and I accepted that that was how I felt about him.
And, I thought, smiling at him from my towel (and if I was perceiving correctly, he was smiling back), he looked really good without a shirt. -
I decided to talk to Pierce because everyone else was kind of annoyed with him, as usual. Pierce was sort of an asshole, and I m not going to excuse it by saying that s just how he is, cause that s kind of a stupid excuse. If who you are is an asshole, than you should change who you are. People always want people like Abed to change, but when you re an asshole, people say well, that s just how he is. I don t like that.
But still, he was my friend. I guess honestly my real reason was that I didn t feel like sitting next to Abed right now, not after having all those thoughts in the water. Especially the loud ones. Don t tell anyone this, but I think Abed can read minds.
I was talking to Pierce, but I was watching Abed out of the corner of my eye. Dude was just looking at me, with that same cute smile on his face. He was just so damn cute. He was all tall and lanky, and he had those big, dark eyes. His cartoony little mannerisms have made me want to jump his bones for a while now, if I m being totally honest. But it was more than that. I ve always been Troy, the football player; Troy, the Prom King; Troy, the dumbass. Troy, the guy who would always be all brawn and no brain, all fans and no friends. I ve hooked up with lots of girls, but I ve never had a real girlfriend. I had lots of bros, but I ve never had a real best friend.
But around Abed, I was just Troy. I was everything I was and nothing more and nothing less. A few months ago, I had to choose between plumbing and air conditioning as what I wanted for the rest of my life. I chose Abed.
I love him. I love him forever as a friend, a best friend, and that s the realest love there is. But that day at the beach, I realized I loved him, well, that way.
And that was okay. Okay, I m coming clean here- I ve always liked boys a little. Even in high school. But you can t like boys when you re Troy Barnes, football-playing Prom King. I remembered the conversation I had with Jeff when I first got to Greendale, about my stupid jacket. No one cared about that guy anymore. They cared about Troy. I realized I was surround by five people who just love Troy, and one who, if that cute smile meant what I thought it did, might love Troy the way I loved him. it was so streets ahead Pierce said, concluding some boring old man story.
Yeah, I said, smiling at Abed. -
I want to go back in the water, I declared, after all the food had been eaten and we had just sat on the beach, talking and laughing.
The group looked at me, a little surprised. I was usually the comic relief, providing direction for the group was kind of a Winger move. Yeah, me too. Troy said. The rest of the group seemed to be okay with the idea, so we all went down the water. I noticed that Troy wasn t looking at Annie this time, and that gave me a sense of satisfaction. Annie didn t even look that great, anyway.
Was I a bitch?
We got to the water and waded around for a while. Jeff and Annie returned to their flirty splash fight, and again, Troy and I were next to each other, wet and shirtless. Troy turned to me suddenly. Wanna swim out farther? Sure, I said.
Troy couldn t have looked more beautiful swimming. I followed him- I might not look like much of an athlete, but I always liked swimming, and I could keep up with Troy no problem. We were out a lot deeper than the rest of the group now.
I could barely touch the ocean floor with my feet now. Times like those really showed how much taller Abed was than me. I kind of liked it. We were just standing there, in the water, looking at each other.
Abed grinned at me, and dove underwater. He came up a second later, and whipped his head back, flipping his hair out of his eyes. It was without a doubt the hottest thing I ve ever seen.
After I came up, Troy did the same, going underwater and then coming up, and flipping his hair out of his face. He looked so pretty I almost couldn t stand it. - I hope my little merman performance impressed him as much as his impressed me. Everything felt so good, then. The sun, the cool water, the general beachy smell of saltwater, sunblock and fresh air, the knowledge of good friends close by, and the man I love right in front of me, gorgeous and wet.
Water s really nice today, I remarked. Great romantic dialogue, doofus. I thought. A movie buff like Abed s probably expecting something a little more quoteable than that.
Haha, Troy s so cute when he s nervous, I thought. Yeah. -
He was smiling that little smile again. Yeah, he said. Wanna go under again? And we did, at the same time.
We plunged under, and I opened my eyes. There was Abed, in front of me, my best friend, floating in front of me, wearing those doofy goggles in front of those big, beautiful eyes.
We stared at each other for what felt like hours, and then I put one hand on the back of his head, one on his arm, pulled him forward, and kissed him.
Lights. Camera. Action.
Big underwater kiss scene, the ones the fans have been waiting for. Geeky outcast from a conservative Muslim family being given the kiss of his life underwater, by the handsome, popular, goofy yet sensitive football-playing prom king. Perfect.
I may seem like the stoic, cool-under-fire type, but Troy was kissing me, and on the inside, I was squealing like a schoolgirl.
Kissing Abed underwater was so awesome that awesome was basically redefined in that moment for me. I didn t want to come back up, because what could possibly be more awesome than kissing Abed underwater? But a dude s gotta breath, and after a minute of pure, unadulterated awesome we emerged, and wordlessly did our handshake. Everyone was up to the same shenanigans, but the world just seemed brighter. Abed and I swam back towards the others. Where d you to go? Britta asked.
I shrugged. We went farther. Britta accepted that, and soon it was time to go. As we all packed up and headed back to our respective cars, Abed looked at me, and said We should do this again sometime. Yeah! Annie agreed. Today was so much fun! Yeah, it was, I said, looking at no one but Abed.
Next Thursday? Annie suggested? Cool, said Abed, looking at me. Cool, cool, cool.