A/N: This is my first Smallville fic. Hope you like it somehow. Lana's POV.
This is for the one I once called my light… hope you're happy without me.
Never Get Over
ShinSeiFuji
I don't know exactly what happened, but one day I just woke up emptier than I ever was. Maybe it was all too fast that I couldn't grasp the painful truth when it finally confronted me… telling me that you were no longer mine.
I hear you're taking the town again
Having a good time with all your good time friends
Everything that happened between us seems only a dream now. A once perfect
dream I've fallen deeply asleep to, wishing every time that it would go
on and on. But it was no good trying to live it. I had to wake up. It was, after
all, too good to be true.
There were just so many things that stood in our way. I had Whitney to start
with, and you, you seem to perfectly fit with your friends. It seemed almost
a sin to bother you. I was like another piece of a puzzle trying to squeeze
in with your already complete life. I guess I've always realized that,
but I've refused to believe it, until now.
I don't think that you think of me
You're on your own now and I'm alone and free
But really, what's the use of thinking about it? It's over, and
I simply have to go on. I should be used to being suddenly left alone by the
ones I love… Love? Is it really love that I feel that makes you so hard
to let go? Perhaps I'll never know, Clark…
I know that I should get on with my life
But a life lived without you could never be right
I decided to get myself busy and stop thinking about all this. I had to move
on, I had to live, and I'm desperately trying not to think of you anymore.
And then the phone rang. I felt my heart stop and my mind raced with thoughts
of endless possibilities. That things are not yet too late, that my life would
turn the other way around, that it was not the end of the dream.
I picked up the handset. "Please let this be him," I wished under
my breath.
"Lana?"
For a minute, I thought my prayers were answered.
"Hello? Lana, is that you?"
"Oh, hello Whitney. Sorry I was kind of distracted."
"It's ok. Listen, why don't we go out and eat something? Whaddya
think?
Maybe they were answered after all. I needed something to get me off thinking
anyway.
"Sure."
"Ok, I'll be there in a minute."
I put the phone down. I sighed, "I can get over you… I know I can…
I have to."
As long as the stars shine down from the heavens
As long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you getting over me
"Ready?" Whitney greeted me with the usual embrace and kiss. "The
new bar just opened a while ago. I wanted to try it with you."
I just smiled at him and got in the car. I must've looked pretty weird
to him, but then again he just smiled at me, too.
I try to smile so the hurt won't show
Tell everybody I was glad to see you go
I looked at Whitney and smiled. He was my boyfriend after all. I should be
enjoying my time with him, as much as I enjoyed being with you.
I remember you asked me once why I went out with Whitney, and I answered that
he was always there when I needed him, and that he made me feel safe. It was
true, perhaps it still is… but I've found comfort in you. Comfort
I've found in no one else. Comfort I can never have again.
But the tears just won't go away
Loneliness found me, looks like it's here to stay
The bar was half-full when we arrived, and a sweet melody was starting to
play.
"Hey, are you okay?" Whitney asked me as we sat down in a corner.
"Yeah," I said cheerfully.
"You seem a little distracted."
I shook my head. "I was just wondering what to drink. I'm quite
thirsty." Liar, I was thinking of you again.
"Wait here," Whitney said.
I know that I ought to find someone new
But all I find is myself always thinking of you
I found myself humming to the song played while Whitney went to the counter.
"Lana, what a coincidence."
It was Lex.
"Oh, hi Lex."
"I'm guessing you're with the quarterback," he said
with that mischievous grin he just can't seem to live without.
"Whitney," I corrected him.
"Well, you better check out the dance floor, you have very close
friends out there."
I knew he was talking about you again, he always seemed to. I took Lex'
advice, left him without a word. And there they were, Chloe and Clark, in the
middle of the dance floor, dancing to the song's chorus that seemed to
break my heart even more.
As long as the stars shine down from the heavens
As long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you getting over me
And then the feeling came back. That I was in a horrible nightmare. Everything, everything that we both cherished before, suddenly became things of no worth at all. It's like, the Clark I was staring at was someone I didn't know. Where's the Clark that where I found comfort in? Where's the Clark that gave me strength when I needed it? Where's the Clark that I loved so much? Where's the Clark who loved me?
No matter what I do, each night's a lifetime to live through
I can't go on like this, I need your touch
You're the only one I'll ever love
But no, I can't believe it. I refuse to. I guess I really am stubborn,
unyielding, but I have to give it one more shot, even if I have to learn things
the hard way.
"May I cut in?" I said out of the blue. "Just for a minute?"
I can tell you were both surprised.
There was hesitation in Chloe's voice when she answered, "Sure Lana."
Then she looked at you and smiled. A smile you returned, as if reassuring her
that I was nothing to you. It killed me.
I wanted to quit then, stop it all, but when you held me in your arms I couldn't
help but succumb to it. I was powerless against it.
It was like the dream. I wanted it go on, but it was ending. And I had no control
over it.
And as long as the stars shine down from the heavens
As long as the rivers run to the sea
I'll never get over you getting over me
There were so many proofs that was before me. Proofs that you really don't
love me anymore. And I'm down to the last thing I needed to confirm them.
"Clark, I…" I whispered.
"Yes, Lana?" he said as you looked directly into my eyes.
Beautiful, I've always found your blue eyes so captivating. They always
seemed to be sincere, and I've always found comfort in them. But right
now, all they tell me, is to move on and forget about you.
"I just wanted to thank you for everything." I felt so weak I couldn't
even say these words straight.
You just smiled.
"And I think," I said closing my eyes, "You and Chloe make
a good pair."
It was long before you answered, "Thanks."
The song ended and we both parted.
"'Bye Clark," I smiled at you.
"Take care of him Chloe," I said as she came walking towards us.
"Don't let him go."
And I walked away.
As long as the stars shine down from the heavens
"Hey, where have you been?" Whitney asked me when I got
back to our table. He was holding our drinks.
"Ladies room," I answered. "I don't think I feel good
Whitney, please take me home."
As long as the rivers run to the sea
The ride home was silent. I immediately went inside the house when we arrived, even without saying goodbye or goodnight to Whitney. I know the days to come are going to be even worse. I needed time. Much time to be alone. It's the only thing I can think of that can get me out of the mess I've run into. I'll get better, I know it, but somehow I can't help but repeat the last line of the song that made me feel safe in your arms one last time…
I'll never get over you getting over me.