It was Christmas time, and although Santana was no longer officially with Brittany she still couldn't imagine spending the holidays away from her. It was a chilly December 24th night; Santana was going to surprise Brittany at her house for Christmas Eve. As the cab pulled into her street all Santana could imagine was embracing Brittany and the feel of her cold red nose against her bare neck. Letting Brittany go was the hardest thing Santana had ever done in her life, they had fought so hard to be together but the thought of hurting Brittany, the first and only person she had ever loved, tore a whole inside Santana that she could not ignore. So yes, they were not dating, but no one on the planet would love Brittany liked Santana did, how she still does.
"Can you stop here please?" Santana asked the cab driver a couple houses down from Brit's. She didn't want her to see the headlights through her window. As Santana walked down the icy sidewalk towards Brittany's house she couldn't stop smiling, she had missed her so much. It was only 7pm so Santana wasn't surprised to see Brittany's light on in her bedroom. She stepped up to the front door which was laid with a Holly reeve. She took a deep breath and with a huge smile she knocked on the front door.
Brittany was a vision, her blonde locks falling softly at her shoulders; she was wearing little shorts and a large sweat shirt, too big for her which made her look even tinier than she naturally was. Her blue eyes widened as she met Santana's smoldering brown eyes. Santana smiled widely at the woman she still loved deeply, Brittany, mouth slightly open stared back at her speechless.
"Surprise!" Santana shouted stepping forward and wrapping her arms around Brittany. She slotted her arms around her waist with such ease; it was like she was home. Santana felt Brittany embrace her and as she did she took in the familiar scent of her hair. She found the familiar nook in Brittany's neck that she fitted into so well and had to remind herself not to kiss her supple peach skin.
Santana let go as she felt Brittany pulling away and she took a step back to take her all in.
"I know that were…..well, I know that things are different, but….Brit its Christmas and I couldn't….I couldn't be away from you". Santana confessed staring familiarly into Brittany's eyes.
"Santana, I….I didn't think you were coming home for the holidays…..I thought, we'd talk in the New Year...Stuff has changed…" Brittany stumbled for her words.
"I know things have changed Brit, but it Christmas, and you're meant to be with the ones you love on Christmas. Brittany you know I still…" Santana stopped from saying the three words she wanted to say, as she saw Brittany look sheepishly to the ground. "Look, just for now, just for tonight Brit" Santana said reaching for Brittany's hand. Her skin was still so smooth and soft, her hands still fitted perfectly inside Santana's. "Can we forget it all, and just be together".
Brittany was biting her lip and looking down. Santana step forward and took her chin in her hand. "Don't look away" she said tilting the blonde beauties eyes up to hers. "Brittany, I have never stopped loving you, not one single second in all these months". Santana couldn't stop herself, it was too natural, too much a part of her being. She pursed her lips and pulled Brittany towards her soft, wet lips.
Just before their mouths could connect Santana was startled by a loud cough from behind Brittany. Thinking it was her dad she automatically took a step back. Santana watched as a man came from behind and wrapped his arms around Brittany's waist. That was Santana's waist, that was where Santana's arms were made to fit. It took her a second to recognize who was leaning his head over Brittany's shoulder. It was Sam Evans.
Santana just stood, taking in the sight of Sam with his arms wrapped around Brittany's slender waist. She looked searching into Brittany's eyes. She could see tears starting to well.
"Santana, what are you doing in town?" Sam asked smiling at the girl on the doorstep.
Santana looked up at Sam puzzled. She had so many questions running through her mind. "I..Um, I came home for the holidays". She said still staring at Brittany. "Um…so what….ah, what's going on here?" Santana questioned.
Sam still ever smiling, kissed Brittany on the cheek "Just thought I'd come over and spend Christmas Eve with Brit. I'll be spending Christmas day with my folks tomorrow so just making the most of tonight, where just about to start Avatar if you wanna come in?"
Brittany with a look of shock and sorrow on her delicate face motioned to speak as Santana cut her off.
"So, you two". Santana said now with the earth shattering realization of what was happening.
"Santana I was going to tell you, I just didn't know how" Brittany begged, tears escaping her eyes. She wiped it away before Sam could see.
"You're together" Santana said this almost to herself. Everything she thought she knew was over. The woman she loved more than anything in the world was now in the arms of another, and more than anything, Santana hated herself for it.
The smile dropped from Sam's face, he dropped his arms to his side. "Oh" he said. He looked into Santana's eyes. He always liked Santana, it was not his intentions to hurt her. "Santana, I thought you knew…Brittany said, well I thought she said, she told you about….us".
The word stung Santana like a thousand knives. Sam and Brittany, they were an 'us'.
All Santana wanted to do was run, run and run and run. But she knew no matter how fast she ran, she could not escape this pain. The reality was that the one she loved was now loving someone else. The thought of the two of them together crept like a monster into her thoughts. Sam touching what Santana had touched, kissing what only Santana was allowed to kiss.
As nausea swept over her, Santana backed in to the snow. She had to get air, she couldn't breathe.
"Santana, come inside, we need to talk" Brittany said stepping out into the cold, motioning for Santana to come inside.
Santana pinched her eyes as she tried to focus on forming words. "I, I forgot I have to go to my parents' house. I….have to go. Merry Christmas."
Santana used every ounce of strength she had left inside to move her legs. She walked away and as she did she heard Brittany call out her name. She didn't know where she was going, she just knew she had to keep walking. The pain in her heart overwhelmed her, everything went numb. The world as Santana knew it was over.