Disclaimer: Lightning Farron and Oerba Yun Fang do not belong to me. In fact, they might be so totally OOC here that their creators at Square Enix wouldn't recognize them.

Altercation

"Why do we always wind up like this? Can't we just have a normal, healthy relationship?

"We are normal! I love you, you love me, we're an insanely hot couple and we have amazing sex! That's the definition of a good relationship!"

"Fang, indoor voice please. I'm lying not three inches away from your face - "

"Indeed you are, and might I add that you look absolutely stunning Light. Even while looking as exhausted and sweaty as you do at the moment."

"Don't interrupt. Thank you for that comment though. As I was saying, it would be nice if we had a less strenuous relationship. I mean, I highly doubt any other couple has to spend the entire next day cleaning the house and rearranging the furniture just because their girlfriend decided to drop by for a visit."

"I said I was sorry about that lamp didn't I? It was really dark that night and you looked so gods damned sexy in your new Lieutenant uniform and the light switch just didn't want to be found then and that table was in the way and your zip got stuck and have I mentioned that you were really, really hot? It was just asking to be knocked over! Besides, you said that it wasn't a big deal and that I should keep touching – "

"I know what I said; you don't have to remind me."

"- your arse the way I was."

"… This is not about the lamp."

"Was it the carpet I wrecked when I accidentally let go of my lance? I didn't mean for it to land blade first, honest! But watching you walk out to the beach in that bikini, I just – "

"Fang. Fang! This is not about the lamp, or the carpet or the couch or that picture you managed to knock off the wall last night. This is about the fact that we can't seem to spend more than ten minutes together without you smirking as you ogle me, you grabbing inappropriate parts of me or you making suggestive comments to me."

"I'm not ogling you, I'm appreciating your beauty. Neither am I grabbing 'inappropriate parts' of you, I'm merely enjoying being close to your wonderful assets. And I ain't making suggestive comments, just verbalizing how attractive you are to me."

"And how would you explain your apparent need to get intimate with me with absolutely no regard for our surroundings?"

"That would be me telling the whole world that I love you and that you are all mine."

"I am not all yours. Wipe that smirk off your face. I am my own person."

"Who loves me."

"Well, yes, but that does not mean you own me. I am not some object to be shown off with to others – "

"Nope. You're certainly no object. And I was certainly not implying that I own you. But you do belong with me, just as I belong with you, Light. Not to mention, I'm the only one who kisses you like that and leaves you looking like this."

"… You're just reinforcing my point. Everything's just so physical with you. We can't even say a simple 'Good morning' to each other without you copping a feel of my behind! Etro, right now we're lying completely unclothed on the floor mats of my basement gym! We were just sparring, Fang!"

"And it was a pretty damn good session, if I may say so myself. It feels so great going up against someone who can match me strike for strike, and lunge for lunge. The adrenalin spike is just amazing! And the speed that you can move with! Man, 'Lightning' is one helluva fitting moniker for yourself. I still got you today though. Can't let yourself get distracted while in a fight, Sunshine."

"You put your hands on my chest and my ass! That's not how you throw someone, regardless of whatever fighting style they taught you on Gran Pulse!"

"Yep. Not how I throw a person. Definitely not. That's how I throw you, love. Threw you off your game pretty good, that move. Got you flat on your back, looking all hot and flustered."

"…"

"Don't get mad. Look how great that wound up? Alright, alright! Don't look like that, babe. I understand that you might have some reservations about your personal space and that you ain't used to letting someone else encroach upon it. But you don't have to keep building up those walls around yourself, you know? The world's not out to get you. Not anymore anyway. We all got through that together. You, me, Vanille, Sazh, Snow, Hope, Serah… All of us were in it, and we'll always be here for you. You don't have to be alone. I went through hell and high water with you, and I will always fight for you and our beliefs. And I will keep breaking down those walls of yours, because I love you, my stubborn Sunshine."

"I love you too Fang. And I'm sorry for overthinking how wonderful being with you is."

"You mean, hinting that I'm a horny pervert who can't get her hands off her girlfriend? No need to apologise. That's exactly what I am. And that sex with me is mind blowing."

"Fang!"

"It's just part of what's perfect about me. Your flawless body certainly helps too. Even your stellar personality. All those facts and more just factor into why we work so well together. Our make up sex is brilliant too."

"Fang!"

I think that this pairing is the hottest thing in the entire Final Fantasy universe. Had quite a bit of fun writing this at 6 in the morning. (I have got to start sleeping at more normal times). Anyways, reviews are extremely welcome. Criticisms about my writing style or characterisations are welcome as well.

Cheers!