Disclaimer: All of the characters belong to JJ Abrams. *sigh*
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Three long years. The longest years of my life thus far. I had sat at the back of the tiny church and cried, tears running freely across my cheeks until there were none left. I thought I was going to die. She had been the reason I had gotten out of bed every day for years though she never knew it. Then one morning fate took her from me. Evil had won out over good. She was so good. Fate had stepped in never allowing me the chance to hold her in my arms and tell her they way I truly felt. I despised fate for taking the most amazing, intelligent, brave, caring, beautiful woman who ever set foot on Earth. I couldn't help it. Couldn't help hoping that there had been a huge mistake.
Jack had woken me that day. I had been well before dawn. I heard his words but wouldn't let them register. It wasn't true, I told myself over and over. I screamed at him. NO! You're lying. You lie. She's alive. There's been a mistake. You're wrong, Jack. You're lying. She was gone. She hadn't even started to live. She'd never known. Jack tried to comfort me. I slid to the floor, onto the cool tile. I couldn't feel anything but empty. I did not shed tears, those would come later. Jack sat next to me in a daze of guilt and sorrow. I still don't know why I said it. But maybe it was because I had to tell someone that I'd lost the love of my life. If I hadn't I'm sure I would have curled up and died along with her. I looked Jack in the eye. I told him. I told him everything that I'd wanted to tell Sydney for so long. I confessed my feelings. I told him about all of the times that I'd wanted to tell her. All of the times I'd let her down. The times I hadn't done enough. Jack eyes looked sad and he placed his hand on my shoulder. He said he was proud of me, and that I'd done all I could to protect her just as he had. His face grew softer and sincere. He needed to confess as well. She had loved me. She loved me as I loved her. He told me that she had wanted to be with me. That the minute that SD-6 was dead she was going to be with me. My heart swelled with grief once more. We sat on the floor together until the sun was pouring through the windows. We tried to the draw strength from each other to get back up and face our lives without her. Without our Sydney. She was gone.
I called Devlin. He had heard. I told him that I was taking a few days off. He protested only briefly and then consented. Everyone knew why I was doing this and it was useless to try to deny it any longer. I didn't care if I lost my job. I didn't matter. I drove to the shore and I sat on the beach listening to the surf. I recalled the night we had met here. I replayed her voice in my head. She had been surprised when I told her to meet me at the beach and not the warehouse. We had talked for hours, just watching the ocean meet the sand again and again, under the stars that night. She had told me that she loved the ocean because it was turbulent, ever changing, full of beauty and secrets. Whether she knew it or not she had described herself. Before we left she had hugged me and kissed my cheek softly. She thanked me. All the while I wanted to scream to the world that I loved her. I wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss her until the pain and the suffering was gone. I should have but I didn't. I stuck my feet in the warm sand and imagined her sitting next to me, cracking jokes and filling me in on her latest adventures. I missed her so bad.
I stripped off my shirt and pants. I moved into the water and swam wanting to feel her soul wash over me. The ocean was my lifeline to her now. The only thing I had left. I thought about swimming out as far as I could. I didn't care anymore. I just cared about her. I wanted to be with her, wherever she was.
Eventually I found myself sitting on the sand again, emptier than I was before. I played Jack's words over in my head over and over. She had loved me. Had she though about me in her final moments? I shook my head trying not to think about it. It was too late and nothing would ever change that.
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- -This is kind of angst ridden right at the moment but trust me ;) it'll get better. Please read and review even if it's only a word or two. Any ideas for the plot would also be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
****
Three long years. The longest years of my life thus far. I had sat at the back of the tiny church and cried, tears running freely across my cheeks until there were none left. I thought I was going to die. She had been the reason I had gotten out of bed every day for years though she never knew it. Then one morning fate took her from me. Evil had won out over good. She was so good. Fate had stepped in never allowing me the chance to hold her in my arms and tell her they way I truly felt. I despised fate for taking the most amazing, intelligent, brave, caring, beautiful woman who ever set foot on Earth. I couldn't help it. Couldn't help hoping that there had been a huge mistake.
Jack had woken me that day. I had been well before dawn. I heard his words but wouldn't let them register. It wasn't true, I told myself over and over. I screamed at him. NO! You're lying. You lie. She's alive. There's been a mistake. You're wrong, Jack. You're lying. She was gone. She hadn't even started to live. She'd never known. Jack tried to comfort me. I slid to the floor, onto the cool tile. I couldn't feel anything but empty. I did not shed tears, those would come later. Jack sat next to me in a daze of guilt and sorrow. I still don't know why I said it. But maybe it was because I had to tell someone that I'd lost the love of my life. If I hadn't I'm sure I would have curled up and died along with her. I looked Jack in the eye. I told him. I told him everything that I'd wanted to tell Sydney for so long. I confessed my feelings. I told him about all of the times that I'd wanted to tell her. All of the times I'd let her down. The times I hadn't done enough. Jack eyes looked sad and he placed his hand on my shoulder. He said he was proud of me, and that I'd done all I could to protect her just as he had. His face grew softer and sincere. He needed to confess as well. She had loved me. She loved me as I loved her. He told me that she had wanted to be with me. That the minute that SD-6 was dead she was going to be with me. My heart swelled with grief once more. We sat on the floor together until the sun was pouring through the windows. We tried to the draw strength from each other to get back up and face our lives without her. Without our Sydney. She was gone.
I called Devlin. He had heard. I told him that I was taking a few days off. He protested only briefly and then consented. Everyone knew why I was doing this and it was useless to try to deny it any longer. I didn't care if I lost my job. I didn't matter. I drove to the shore and I sat on the beach listening to the surf. I recalled the night we had met here. I replayed her voice in my head. She had been surprised when I told her to meet me at the beach and not the warehouse. We had talked for hours, just watching the ocean meet the sand again and again, under the stars that night. She had told me that she loved the ocean because it was turbulent, ever changing, full of beauty and secrets. Whether she knew it or not she had described herself. Before we left she had hugged me and kissed my cheek softly. She thanked me. All the while I wanted to scream to the world that I loved her. I wanted to pull her into my arms and kiss her until the pain and the suffering was gone. I should have but I didn't. I stuck my feet in the warm sand and imagined her sitting next to me, cracking jokes and filling me in on her latest adventures. I missed her so bad.
I stripped off my shirt and pants. I moved into the water and swam wanting to feel her soul wash over me. The ocean was my lifeline to her now. The only thing I had left. I thought about swimming out as far as I could. I didn't care anymore. I just cared about her. I wanted to be with her, wherever she was.
Eventually I found myself sitting on the sand again, emptier than I was before. I played Jack's words over in my head over and over. She had loved me. Had she though about me in her final moments? I shook my head trying not to think about it. It was too late and nothing would ever change that.
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- -This is kind of angst ridden right at the moment but trust me ;) it'll get better. Please read and review even if it's only a word or two. Any ideas for the plot would also be greatly appreciated. Thanks!