A/N: It's been so long since I've written an SD fic and a fanfic for that
matter but I hope that I've still got it. This is the sequel to You Don't
See Me. I never intended to write one but I was reading YDSM yesterday and
I suddenly had this thought that I had to write one. This picks up where
YDSM left off, and to those who read, you all know that Ruriko finally told
Ryota about her feelings. What next? That's where this sequel starts. Hope
you enjoy! And please review. By the way, this isn't going to be a songfic
but I'm probably going to put in a few verses of maybe one or two songs.
Disclaimer: SD characters (Ryota, Ayako, blah blah blah) belong to Takehiko Inoue and Ruriko Morishita belongs to me.
Now That He Knows
- a sequel to "You Don't See Me"
By: juzAgirl
CHAPTER 1
What have I done? God!
"Now's not the time to regret Ruriko," I hissed at my reflection on the mirror. Am I imagining things or was she actually smirking at me?
"Is this what you wanted? Huh? Now he won't speak to you anymore! You blew it!"
"Dear are you alright? I heard yelling," okaasan's voice filtered through my door.
"I'm fine. I just had a nightmare. Nothing big, don't worry."
I heard a muffled "Alright," as okaasan left the door and went back to her bedroom. Now even my mother thought that I was going crazy.
Well, good thing that there're only a few weeks left before school lets out. It'll be summer and I won't be having a lot of trouble avoiding Ryota during finals week. Everyone will be studying really hard. I guess the timing wasn't too bad.
But why did I have to tell him?
Argh!
The memory of a few minutes ago went back dancing inside my head.
***
"Well?"
I couldn't say it. I got so tongue-tied that I thought I was going to go mute.
"Ryota---ano---"
"Ruriko, it's two in the morning. If this could wait until tomorrow-"
"No, it can't---"
"Then say it already. My mom will kill me if she found out that I was still awake and talking to you on the phone like some baka."
"Gomen---Ryota-kun---ano---"
He yawned and I didn't want to wait any longer so I just blurted things out. Maybe he would hear me, maybe he won't, but I took the chance anyway---
"---aishiteru---Ryota-kun---"
***
Then after I had hung up, Ryota called. I knew it was him but I didn't answer the phone. I wasn't exactly sure how I would face him after my confession. So I didn't take the chance. I pulled the phone cord from the wall socket and ran to my room. Sure, I was chickening out but it was a good chickening out. It was either this or hearing him ask what was the matter with me and of course, rejection. This was the lesser evil, I decided.
I climbed back into bed and tried to sleep. I pulled the covers up to my neck and looked directly at the ceiling, the moonlight from my bedroom window casting eerie shadows on the cream-colored surface. My eyes darted around the room and I was suddenly deliberating how long it would take me to pack all my stuff and leave town. I mean, there're certainly lots of other places in the world, places where humiliation won't find me. Where he won't find me to be exact.
"Who are you kidding Ruriko? You're doomed."
***
The final bell rang and I made a mad dash towards the back door of the classroom. I'd have exactly five minutes to reach the front doors of the school undetected and catch a bus just outside the school grounds. Five minutes before Ryota comes out of his class and heads towards the school gym. Measly five minutes!
Light. There was light at the end of the tunnel. Almost there.
"Ruriko!"
Then I froze in my tracks. It was loud-mouthed Sakuragi Hanamichi. Please don't do this to me. Not today. I tried to ignore the redhead but he caught up to me on time. Damn those long legs. I found his large frame in front of me, blocking my way to total escape. The door looked so tiny now and so far. Damn you Hanamichi.
"Hey! How're you doin'?" he asked cheerfully, clapping a large hand on my back.
Ouch.
"Fine fine Hanamichi. But I really have to get going. I have a lot of work to do. You know how hard it is just before finals week rolls in."
"But aren't you going to watch the tensai practice today? I've been learning quite a lot and I know tensais like me don't need to but I try to expand my horizons, you know. Besides, Ryota's going to be there."
"And what's that supposed to mean?!"
Did Hanamichi know something? Did Ryota blab everything to the whole team? Nooooo!!! Maybe I overreacted a little. Okay, I overreacted a lot. Hanamichi's eyebrows flew up and he took a step back. Then he cocked his head to one side and gave me a questioning look. One that was very unnerving and was burning me to the core. I felt my cheeks heat up.
"Nothing. I was just mentioning it. What is the matter with you, yelling at the tensai like that?"
"Gomen, Hanamichi-kun. I'm just a little tense."
Hanamichi nodded, believing my lame excuse.
"I wonder why."
I felt my eyes widen at that voice. In another country, or planet and maybe even in my grave, I'd know that voice. I'd know that voice anywhere, it was my curse. Ryota. My palms started sweating like crazy and my breathing came out in shallow gasps. This day was not going as planned.
"We have to talk."
"No, we don't."
"Are you two having a fight or something?" Hanamichi butted in.
"No."
He answered for the both of us. We weren't fighting but I wish we were. Fighting with him was better than this awkward moment. Was this punishment? I haven't done anything remotely wrong in my entire life, only that I'd told the guy I loved that I loved him. Is that a sin greater than murder?! Why did Ryota have to catch up to me?
"Well, let's go to practice then. Gori wouldn't be too happy to see us late, again."
"You go ahead Hanamichi. Tell them that I have some urgent business to discuss with a sensei."
"But-"
"Go."
Ryota's voice was firm and strong. There wasn't a hint of hesitation. Maybe that's why Hanamichi obeyed him. The tall freshman adjusted his bag and said goodbye, finally walking towards the gym.
"Bye Hanamichi," I called out, taking my chance for escape and dashing, again, towards the front doors of Shohoku high.
I'd forgotten that Ryota was Mr. Lightning Fast himself. He caught up to me easily, covering the nearest escape route. I knew that if I ran the other direction, he'd still catch up to me. Great. So I was trapped. The earth might as well swallow me up now.
"What was last night all about huh?" he asked breaking the very deafening silence.
I didn't make a sound or budge an inch. I just stayed there, looking at my shoes, at the floor, anywhere just to avoid his eyes. Then he reached out and touched my shoulder. I jumped.
"Gomen, did I hurt you?"
I shook my head slowly but I still didn't look up. He was never going to make me.
Then I saw brown. He'd reached out again, taking his right hand and forcing me to look at him. I don't know why I let him but at the moment that his eyes pierced mine, I started to let the tears fall. Why the hell was I crying? I tried to stop but trying made it only worse. For a few seconds, we were just standing there. I was crying and he was holding me.
Then I pushed him away.
"Don't do this."
"What?"
I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand and looked at him.
"Don't feel sorry for me. I know that what I said last night must have been out of place and shocking but don't feel sorry for me Ryota. I don't want your pity. I don't want anything from you. Just leave me alone."
"I'm not doing this because I'm feeling sorry for you. I'm doing this because you're my friend-"
I had blocked everything out after that word. I didn't want to hear how much he cared for me and how much he wanted me to know that he'd always be there for me because I knew that the reason behind that would only be because he thought of me as a friend. It still hurt even though Ayako had told him that she didn't love him. It still hurt even though I'd told him how I really felt. Everything hurt because these things didn't change the fact that I was still and always will be just a friend to Miyagi Ryota.
With one last look, I pushed him aside, just enough for me to reach the door. I ran as fast as my feet could carry me. I ran like there was no tomorrow. I ran as if my life was about to end. I ran even though no one was running after me.
I was finally out.
This was what I had wanted.
But why did I feel so lousy?
***
The lights were out and the television flickered wildly, casting long and large shadows along my bedroom walls. I was watching "Center Stage" and I'd come to the part when-
'If I was the one who was loving you baby, the only tears you'd cry would be tears of joy and if I was by your side, you'd never know one lonely night. And if it were my arms you were running to I'd give you love in these arms of mine. If I was the one in your life.'
I angrily pushed the mute button on the remote control and the rest of the song vanished. The movie went on without the words and without the melody but I knew what the next lyrics were. And they were playing inside my head. Note to self, never watch "Center Stage" when the guy you love is loving another. I wish that this was the movies. At least in most movies, there were happy endings.
So much for my happy ending.
"Ruriko are you awake?"
"Yes. What is it?"
"It's Ryota, on the phone. Said he had something important to tell you."
"Tell him I've died."
"What is wrong dear? Did you and Ryota fight?"
"No. I just don't want to talk to him right now. I'm watching a movie for class. I need to submit a 5-page essay on this tomorrow. I can't waste my time talking on the phone with him. Please, okaasan, tell him I'm busy. Tell him I'm not here. Tell him anything, anything to make him stop bothering me."
"Alright."
It's been a few nights now. He's been calling non-stop and it wasn't doing me any good. He even came over once. Good thing I was buying something from the grocery store and okaasan asked him to come back some other time. At school, it's been better. I'd learned pretty quick how to avoid Hanamichi and when the right time to exit the classroom was. I became the invisible girl of Shohoku High.
What he wanted to say wasn't really important to me. I didn't want to hear about how he treasures our friendship so much. But don't get me wrong. I also treasure it but that has to come in after everything else, after my broken heart and embarrassment---and oh yes, my big mouth.
He wasn't going to get anything more out of me.
"This really isn't fair."
"Yes, it isn't."
Then I did a double take. How? I slowly turned to look at my window and there he was. Outside. On top of the tree. Sitting on a branch. Waving like crazy. Everything else froze as he tried to reach my window.
"Oh no, you don't-" I yelled as I ran towards my window, desperately trying to reach it before he did. And I won. The glass went down and the blinds closed. Ryota was resorting to tricky measures. No worries, I just have to make my strategies better.
Thud!
"Ouch!"
Oh no.
Against my better judgment, I hurried downstairs and out the door.
"Okay mister, I've had enough of this."
He was sprawled on the grass and he winced as he looked up at me. My hands flew to my hips and I started tapping my foot on the ground. He wasn't going to make me help him. He wasn't going to flinch his way into my good graces. He wasn't-
"You shouldn't have climbed that tree," I murmured as I reached down to help him up.
"So you're talking to me now?"
"Not unless it's super necessary."
"Like when?"
"Like when you've just been hurt like now."
"You're going to get me killed."
"You're going to get yourself killed."
"Wouldn't you enjoy that?"
"Ryota, please, let's get this over with. I'm ready. You can tell me that everything's going to be different because I was a nut. You can tell me that there's simply no chance of you-know-what. I'm tired and I can't go on like this, like I'm a fugitive or like I have this ugly wart that I need to hide. I need my life back."
"The one with or without me?"
"Be serious."
"I am."
I dropped my hold on him.
"Itai!"
"Gomen. I---I'm just---let's just act like nothing happened okay?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Okay, I'm cool with that. I thought that it'd be weird forever."
That's his answer. He doesn't really care about my real feelings. It's okay for him to just stay as friends because his love for me just goes as deep as that. It's never going to be deeper. Never going to be beyond that.
A/N: I decided to cut this up in chapters. How many? I have no idea. I'll just let it go with the flow. So here's to the first installment. Review!
Disclaimer: SD characters (Ryota, Ayako, blah blah blah) belong to Takehiko Inoue and Ruriko Morishita belongs to me.
Now That He Knows
- a sequel to "You Don't See Me"
By: juzAgirl
CHAPTER 1
What have I done? God!
"Now's not the time to regret Ruriko," I hissed at my reflection on the mirror. Am I imagining things or was she actually smirking at me?
"Is this what you wanted? Huh? Now he won't speak to you anymore! You blew it!"
"Dear are you alright? I heard yelling," okaasan's voice filtered through my door.
"I'm fine. I just had a nightmare. Nothing big, don't worry."
I heard a muffled "Alright," as okaasan left the door and went back to her bedroom. Now even my mother thought that I was going crazy.
Well, good thing that there're only a few weeks left before school lets out. It'll be summer and I won't be having a lot of trouble avoiding Ryota during finals week. Everyone will be studying really hard. I guess the timing wasn't too bad.
But why did I have to tell him?
Argh!
The memory of a few minutes ago went back dancing inside my head.
***
"Well?"
I couldn't say it. I got so tongue-tied that I thought I was going to go mute.
"Ryota---ano---"
"Ruriko, it's two in the morning. If this could wait until tomorrow-"
"No, it can't---"
"Then say it already. My mom will kill me if she found out that I was still awake and talking to you on the phone like some baka."
"Gomen---Ryota-kun---ano---"
He yawned and I didn't want to wait any longer so I just blurted things out. Maybe he would hear me, maybe he won't, but I took the chance anyway---
"---aishiteru---Ryota-kun---"
***
Then after I had hung up, Ryota called. I knew it was him but I didn't answer the phone. I wasn't exactly sure how I would face him after my confession. So I didn't take the chance. I pulled the phone cord from the wall socket and ran to my room. Sure, I was chickening out but it was a good chickening out. It was either this or hearing him ask what was the matter with me and of course, rejection. This was the lesser evil, I decided.
I climbed back into bed and tried to sleep. I pulled the covers up to my neck and looked directly at the ceiling, the moonlight from my bedroom window casting eerie shadows on the cream-colored surface. My eyes darted around the room and I was suddenly deliberating how long it would take me to pack all my stuff and leave town. I mean, there're certainly lots of other places in the world, places where humiliation won't find me. Where he won't find me to be exact.
"Who are you kidding Ruriko? You're doomed."
***
The final bell rang and I made a mad dash towards the back door of the classroom. I'd have exactly five minutes to reach the front doors of the school undetected and catch a bus just outside the school grounds. Five minutes before Ryota comes out of his class and heads towards the school gym. Measly five minutes!
Light. There was light at the end of the tunnel. Almost there.
"Ruriko!"
Then I froze in my tracks. It was loud-mouthed Sakuragi Hanamichi. Please don't do this to me. Not today. I tried to ignore the redhead but he caught up to me on time. Damn those long legs. I found his large frame in front of me, blocking my way to total escape. The door looked so tiny now and so far. Damn you Hanamichi.
"Hey! How're you doin'?" he asked cheerfully, clapping a large hand on my back.
Ouch.
"Fine fine Hanamichi. But I really have to get going. I have a lot of work to do. You know how hard it is just before finals week rolls in."
"But aren't you going to watch the tensai practice today? I've been learning quite a lot and I know tensais like me don't need to but I try to expand my horizons, you know. Besides, Ryota's going to be there."
"And what's that supposed to mean?!"
Did Hanamichi know something? Did Ryota blab everything to the whole team? Nooooo!!! Maybe I overreacted a little. Okay, I overreacted a lot. Hanamichi's eyebrows flew up and he took a step back. Then he cocked his head to one side and gave me a questioning look. One that was very unnerving and was burning me to the core. I felt my cheeks heat up.
"Nothing. I was just mentioning it. What is the matter with you, yelling at the tensai like that?"
"Gomen, Hanamichi-kun. I'm just a little tense."
Hanamichi nodded, believing my lame excuse.
"I wonder why."
I felt my eyes widen at that voice. In another country, or planet and maybe even in my grave, I'd know that voice. I'd know that voice anywhere, it was my curse. Ryota. My palms started sweating like crazy and my breathing came out in shallow gasps. This day was not going as planned.
"We have to talk."
"No, we don't."
"Are you two having a fight or something?" Hanamichi butted in.
"No."
He answered for the both of us. We weren't fighting but I wish we were. Fighting with him was better than this awkward moment. Was this punishment? I haven't done anything remotely wrong in my entire life, only that I'd told the guy I loved that I loved him. Is that a sin greater than murder?! Why did Ryota have to catch up to me?
"Well, let's go to practice then. Gori wouldn't be too happy to see us late, again."
"You go ahead Hanamichi. Tell them that I have some urgent business to discuss with a sensei."
"But-"
"Go."
Ryota's voice was firm and strong. There wasn't a hint of hesitation. Maybe that's why Hanamichi obeyed him. The tall freshman adjusted his bag and said goodbye, finally walking towards the gym.
"Bye Hanamichi," I called out, taking my chance for escape and dashing, again, towards the front doors of Shohoku high.
I'd forgotten that Ryota was Mr. Lightning Fast himself. He caught up to me easily, covering the nearest escape route. I knew that if I ran the other direction, he'd still catch up to me. Great. So I was trapped. The earth might as well swallow me up now.
"What was last night all about huh?" he asked breaking the very deafening silence.
I didn't make a sound or budge an inch. I just stayed there, looking at my shoes, at the floor, anywhere just to avoid his eyes. Then he reached out and touched my shoulder. I jumped.
"Gomen, did I hurt you?"
I shook my head slowly but I still didn't look up. He was never going to make me.
Then I saw brown. He'd reached out again, taking his right hand and forcing me to look at him. I don't know why I let him but at the moment that his eyes pierced mine, I started to let the tears fall. Why the hell was I crying? I tried to stop but trying made it only worse. For a few seconds, we were just standing there. I was crying and he was holding me.
Then I pushed him away.
"Don't do this."
"What?"
I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand and looked at him.
"Don't feel sorry for me. I know that what I said last night must have been out of place and shocking but don't feel sorry for me Ryota. I don't want your pity. I don't want anything from you. Just leave me alone."
"I'm not doing this because I'm feeling sorry for you. I'm doing this because you're my friend-"
I had blocked everything out after that word. I didn't want to hear how much he cared for me and how much he wanted me to know that he'd always be there for me because I knew that the reason behind that would only be because he thought of me as a friend. It still hurt even though Ayako had told him that she didn't love him. It still hurt even though I'd told him how I really felt. Everything hurt because these things didn't change the fact that I was still and always will be just a friend to Miyagi Ryota.
With one last look, I pushed him aside, just enough for me to reach the door. I ran as fast as my feet could carry me. I ran like there was no tomorrow. I ran as if my life was about to end. I ran even though no one was running after me.
I was finally out.
This was what I had wanted.
But why did I feel so lousy?
***
The lights were out and the television flickered wildly, casting long and large shadows along my bedroom walls. I was watching "Center Stage" and I'd come to the part when-
'If I was the one who was loving you baby, the only tears you'd cry would be tears of joy and if I was by your side, you'd never know one lonely night. And if it were my arms you were running to I'd give you love in these arms of mine. If I was the one in your life.'
I angrily pushed the mute button on the remote control and the rest of the song vanished. The movie went on without the words and without the melody but I knew what the next lyrics were. And they were playing inside my head. Note to self, never watch "Center Stage" when the guy you love is loving another. I wish that this was the movies. At least in most movies, there were happy endings.
So much for my happy ending.
"Ruriko are you awake?"
"Yes. What is it?"
"It's Ryota, on the phone. Said he had something important to tell you."
"Tell him I've died."
"What is wrong dear? Did you and Ryota fight?"
"No. I just don't want to talk to him right now. I'm watching a movie for class. I need to submit a 5-page essay on this tomorrow. I can't waste my time talking on the phone with him. Please, okaasan, tell him I'm busy. Tell him I'm not here. Tell him anything, anything to make him stop bothering me."
"Alright."
It's been a few nights now. He's been calling non-stop and it wasn't doing me any good. He even came over once. Good thing I was buying something from the grocery store and okaasan asked him to come back some other time. At school, it's been better. I'd learned pretty quick how to avoid Hanamichi and when the right time to exit the classroom was. I became the invisible girl of Shohoku High.
What he wanted to say wasn't really important to me. I didn't want to hear about how he treasures our friendship so much. But don't get me wrong. I also treasure it but that has to come in after everything else, after my broken heart and embarrassment---and oh yes, my big mouth.
He wasn't going to get anything more out of me.
"This really isn't fair."
"Yes, it isn't."
Then I did a double take. How? I slowly turned to look at my window and there he was. Outside. On top of the tree. Sitting on a branch. Waving like crazy. Everything else froze as he tried to reach my window.
"Oh no, you don't-" I yelled as I ran towards my window, desperately trying to reach it before he did. And I won. The glass went down and the blinds closed. Ryota was resorting to tricky measures. No worries, I just have to make my strategies better.
Thud!
"Ouch!"
Oh no.
Against my better judgment, I hurried downstairs and out the door.
"Okay mister, I've had enough of this."
He was sprawled on the grass and he winced as he looked up at me. My hands flew to my hips and I started tapping my foot on the ground. He wasn't going to make me help him. He wasn't going to flinch his way into my good graces. He wasn't-
"You shouldn't have climbed that tree," I murmured as I reached down to help him up.
"So you're talking to me now?"
"Not unless it's super necessary."
"Like when?"
"Like when you've just been hurt like now."
"You're going to get me killed."
"You're going to get yourself killed."
"Wouldn't you enjoy that?"
"Ryota, please, let's get this over with. I'm ready. You can tell me that everything's going to be different because I was a nut. You can tell me that there's simply no chance of you-know-what. I'm tired and I can't go on like this, like I'm a fugitive or like I have this ugly wart that I need to hide. I need my life back."
"The one with or without me?"
"Be serious."
"I am."
I dropped my hold on him.
"Itai!"
"Gomen. I---I'm just---let's just act like nothing happened okay?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Okay, I'm cool with that. I thought that it'd be weird forever."
That's his answer. He doesn't really care about my real feelings. It's okay for him to just stay as friends because his love for me just goes as deep as that. It's never going to be deeper. Never going to be beyond that.
A/N: I decided to cut this up in chapters. How many? I have no idea. I'll just let it go with the flow. So here's to the first installment. Review!