A/N – Hi everyone! If you're reading this, I just wanted to get out some quick details about the story before you start reading. If you're still confused or are curious about something, shoot me a message or post a review and I'll get to it! Italics represent flashbacks. The rating will be T, and I won't be writing any smut. It's for your best interest, I promise. It'd be absolutely awful, much like this story already is! Errors are all mine. If there's a nice amount of interest, I'll upload more chapters. I've already written 4. All are 3,000 words in length!
Summary : Swan Queen. The story of how Emma and Regina came together, then fell apart, then came together again. Angst, fluff, happy moments!
Details just for you (in case you're confused!) : This story is AU. Basically, the beginning of the story is past events and flashbacks to fill in plot things and basic information. The story starts off in the past, 3 months ago, with Regina and Emma celebrating their six month anniversary. Once we get past this, we'll be in the present, at their nine month anniversary, and you'll know when that is. If you have any other questions about plot holes or things that don't make sense that I probably forgot to add in, let me know. Sometimes there won't be little fillers in between flashbacks.
*3 MONTHS AGO*
Chapter One
Regina sighed softly as she shifted in bed next to Emma. They had just celebrated their six-month anniversary. Emma had fallen asleep right after, Regina whispering sweet nothings in her ear. As tired as Regina was, though, she couldn't fall asleep. She was rerunning her and Emma's relationship in her head. How did Regina, the ferocious Evil Queen, get together and fall in love with Emma, the perfect and pure Savior. Regina wanted to burst out laughing thinking about it. A while ago, the mere thought of being in love with Snow White and Prince Charming's daughter moved Regina to the point of throwing up. Hell, just having sex with Emma was bad enough back then. She shook the negative thoughts away ferociously and stared into the ceiling, thinking about how Emma and her had their first kiss. Regina had been sitting on her feelings for Emma for a while before the kiss. She didn't know what the feelings were or what they meant. She remembered recalling that saying everyone threw around when they found out we were together, "there's a fine line between love and hate!" and scoffed. Maybe it was true. The curse still hadn't broken, though. There was no telling how Emma would react if it did break. Regina felt like someone was gnawing through her stomach from the mere thought of losing Emma.
Regina groaned as she went to find her "secret" spot. It's the same spot she went to when she got overwhelmed, which was quite often now that her son thought she was the Evil Queen and the daughter of the Charming's had arrived. Nobody cared to go there or look for her there (as if anyone would look for me, Regina thought), which made it the perfect spot. As she approached the bench overlooking the water, she saw someone sitting there already. A beautiful flash of blonde and red leather flashed into Regina's view. It was Emma. Regina thought that maybe it was just a better idea to avoid Emma and go home and drink herself asleep behind a locked door in her office and avoid the frustration her feelings toward Emma awaken. She couldn't face Emma when she was feeling as vulnerable as she was right now. Hell, the entire reason she came to this bench was that nobody ever came here. Why the hell was Emma Swan here? As Regina stood there, looking at Emma from afar, Regina realized something (for definitely not the first time). Emma Swan was unbelievably, absolutely, unquestionably beautiful. An accidental smile graced Regina's lips as she thought about how beautiful Emma looked without even realizing it. How beautiful she looked when she was cutting down the apple tree. How beautiful she looked when she first brought Henry home. How beautiful she was everywhere.
Against Regina's better judgment she slowly walked over to Emma and sat down next to her on the bench. A soft chuckle from Emma's beautiful lips pierced the once quiet air. Emma slowly turned to Regina and offered a small smile before letting out one of her signature Emma Swan sarcastic remarks. "Well, Mayor Mills, are you stalking me?" Emma teased.
Regina scoffed. "If I was going to stalk someone, Miss Swan, I'd choose someone I actually liked." It was a blatant lie and a terrible excuse and both Regina and Emma knew it. They knew what was happening, the feelings and the lust, and how powerless they were to really stop it.
Emma grinned at Regina softly before staring back into the water. "Well, if you aren't stalking me, what are you doing here? Nobody ever comes here. Especially not this late."
Regina released a puff of air. "This is where I come when I feel overwhelmed. I thought I was the only one who came here. I was surprised when I saw you here." Regina softly talked. She was waiting for Emma to get worried or scared or confrontational and fly off like a scared baby bird. As Regina would find out, she never did. Not yet, anyways.
Emma let out a genuine laugh. Regina nearly gasped at the sound. The sound of Emma's pure laughter was the most beautiful and intoxicating thing she's heard in her entire life. Regina's face was completely frozen as she processed the emotions inside her at the realization of how much she loved Emma's laughter. She wanted to be the cause of it.
"I come out here for the same reason as you. Whenever things get tough I come out here for hours and just watch the water move. Sometimes it's nice to have a place to process."
Regina nodded. "What's your reason for coming out here?" She asked gently. When she saw the deer in headlights look on Emma's face, she quickly fixed it. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it."
Emma let out a small noise. What it was about, though, Regina couldn't tell.
Something about Regina comforted Emma. It made her want to let out all the things she's never told anyone before. Regina felt like coming home.
"It's just.." Emma let out a frustrated sigh and locked her hands together; "It's everything since I came here. With Henry. He's so sure I'm some pure, beautiful Savior who rescues cats from trees and saves the world. I don't want to completely break the kid's heart, but I'm not this perfect person he thinks I am. Just like you're probably not the evil woman he says you are. I bet underneath all that tough Mayoral armor, you're just like everybody else, Regina."
Regina closed her eyes tightly as she felt a tear leak out.
"I'm no saint, Miss Swan. I've done some things I'm not proud of."
Emma gently put her hand over Regina's and smiled. "Regina," she whispered. "I think everyone's done things they aren't proud of."
Regina scoffed. "It's not just some little thing, Miss Swan. I didn't just steal a few beef jerky packets from a convenience store. Henry's right, you know? About what an awful person I am. But he brings out the best in me. Ever since I got him, he's brought out the best in me. But now, I'm not so sure." Regina was about to break out in full blown sobs, tears leaking down her face. She tried to steady herself, whispering a mantra in her head. Don't let the Savior see you cry. Don't. Don't. Don't.
Emma had a few tears leaking down her face at this point, too.
"Regina, look at me." Emma was talking a bit loudly at this point, begging me to look at her. Like she was begging a scared child hanging from a tree to just gently climb down.
Again, against Regina's better judgment, she looked at Emma.
"Regina," Emma chuckled as if to say "I can't believe I'm about to do this" and grabbed my face with her hand, "You're the most wonderful person I've had the pleasure of meeting. Even when you're rude as all hell I can't stop thinking about how amazing you are. How strong you are. How beautiful you are. You might think you're an awful person, but to me, you're beautiful."
Emma looked truly surprised the words had came out, confessing her adoration for the woman she was supposed to hate, but the words were truthful.
As quickly as this conversation started, Emma and I were kissing.
Her lips were soft and gentle and they tasted like hot chocolate.
As we broke apart, Emma left me with a gentle but confident and cocky smile.
"I'll see you some time, Regina."
Regina grinned wildly. "You very much will, Emma." She whispered to the now hot air.
Regina didn't know what she wanted. She had previously just wanted to shove Emma against a wall and have her way with her, but now some doubts had arisen.
Coming out of the memory with a jittery smile plastered on her face, Regina turned over to face Emma. Emma groaned slightly, the consistent sign of her waking up. She did it every time. Regina tucked a part of Emma's beautifully curled hair behind her ear. Emma yawned very loudly before grunting out a barely comprehensible "'m tired" and rolling back over to sleep. Regina rolled her eyes, but she wasn't annoyed. She enjoyed endearing moments like that with Emma. Regina thought back to the first time they saw each other after the kiss.
Regina walked throughout the town with purpose, looking into all the businesses and residents as usual to make sure nothing is going wrong in the beautiful town she created. Unfortunately for Regina, Emma had the same idea. As the new Sherriff, it was Emma's job to patrol the city and make sure nobody was getting into trouble.
As Regina caught sight of Emma's bug driving right near the path where Regina was walking, a pit of anxiety, stress and sadness pooled into Regina's stomach, slowly making way to her heart. She hated those moments – where you hurt so badly, you hurt in your heart, too. She pushed down her emotions as best as she could and quickly turned around with a quick spin and walked as quickly as she could in her heels back to the Mayor's Office. Emma wasn't the issue. Emma was perfect. In fact, Emma was everything Regina wanted in somebody. She was brave, loving, and charming. There lies one of the issues – she was a charming. Regina couldn't have feelings for the Savior, the child of Snow White and Prince Charming, for God sakes. Regina scolded herself heavily, the pain in her chest returning again.
Her mothers voice echoed in her head constantly, growing louder every time and staying. "Love is weakness, Regina."
Regina felt like she was going to retch all over the place, but this wasn't the place or the time to show weakness, especially when Emma Swan was involved. She'd been doing that a lot since Emma Swan showed up on her porch that night. Regina Mills never showed weakness until Emma came along with her Charming attitude. This woman was going to kill her, she was certain of it.
Emma caught sight of Regina and slammed down the gas pedal on her Bug, fully intending on talking to Regina about what happened on that fateful night two days ago.
She didn't know how to categorize her feelings with Regina. Ever since she saw Regina the first time, she felt something. At first it was just lust, Emma knew Regina was an extremely beautiful woman, and some of the things Regina did were a bit flirtatious. Still, Emma didn't acknowledge it to anyone else but herself in rare, fleeting moments. And then something happened after I rescued her from the fire. Regina stopped being as cruel as she had been. She showed a rare companionship to me when we were in private. In public it was the same old Regina, constant sarcastic remarks meant to wound you in whatever way she could and casual hatred.
In private, Regina was a completely different person. Like on the bench. Instead of yelling at me or trying to purposely make a joke that jabs me in a soft spot, she showed something I've never seen her show before - a moment of emotion. I always had this premade idea that Regina was constantly cruel and she couldn't love anybody but Henry. No matter what she did, it was clear she loved Henry. But showing friendly (or was it more than friendly? The kiss sure said it was) care or raw emotion to anyone was completely off limits, and yet I saw it the other day.
As she drove a bit in front of Regina's walking path, Emma stopped her Bug haphazardly and jumped out of the car, barely remembering to shut the door. Regina quickly flipped herself around and started walking in an extremely quick jog-like pace in the opposite direction. Fortunately for Emma and unfortunately for Regina, she had heels on.
Emma caught up with Regina and just walked silently next to her for a few seconds, admiring the raw beauty this woman exudes before speaking.
"Regina, hey," Emma softly said, "Can we talk? About the other night?"
Regina grunted and stopped walking, examining her surroundings to see if there were any unwanted guests around that could eavesdrop. She found none.
"Miss Swan, what happened the other night was a mistake. I was feeling vulnerable and I made a mistake. I find you quite obnoxious and I think it would be best if we remained on a professional relationship. I am sorry if I led you on. Goodbye, Miss Swan." Regina whispered the last part like a secret, like she didn't even want to hear it herself.
Emma stood on the corner of the street with a blank face. Tears welled up in her eyes but she refused to let them out, not right now. She got into her Bug and drove as far as she could without thinking of Regina.
Regina walked home and laid in bed while she drank as much apple cider as she could, refusing to cry.
"Love is weakness."
And Regina hated weakness more than anything.
The next day, there was absolutely no sign of Emma Swan anywhere. Although Regina acted like she couldn't have cared less, she really was worried sick. When she did act worried, she played it off by saying she didn't want Henry to get hurt by Emma leaving, and everyone believed her, regardless of the upset and blank look Regina got on her face when Emma's name was mentioned.
After dinner was finished and Henry was in bed, Regina convinced herself to go look for Emma. For Henry, of course.
Regina stopped by the diner first, hoping she was there. She wasn't.
Next stop was Mary Margaret and Emma's apartment.
"Hello, Miss Margaret. Is Emma home?" Regina asked, pretending to be bored with the idea of Emma. Mary Margaret shook her head no, and with that simple head motion more anxiety and sadness was planted into Regina's heart. More than she already had, anyways. "Have you seen any sign of her lately?"
Mary hummed thoughtfully. "I saw her drive off looking really flustered the other day, but I don't know why she was upset or where she went."
Damn it, Regina thought. "Thank you, Miss Margaret."
Next stop was the Sherriff station. Emma wasn't there, and there wasn't a single sign of life in the station. Regina cursed under her breath.
A hint of a voice yelled in the back of her frenzied mind – "The bench!"
Regina went immediately.
Emma tilted and swirled her beer aggressively as she watched some pelicans pick on a piece of bread she threw a few minutes ago when she lost her appetite thinking of Regina.
Emma honestly didn't know why the hell she was beating herself up so much over this.
It wasn't her that did anything wrong, it was Regina. Emma genuinely thought Regina was in to her, all the stolen looks and dirty thoughts while exchanging heated words over Henry. Oh, shit. Henry.
Emma honestly hadn't thought this through. What the hell would Henry say if he knew his two moms were together, or even just friends? He could already hear it.
"The Savior, associating with the Evil Queen? It's all wrong, Emma!" said fake imagination Henry.
Emma felt a surge of anger swell inside her and she stood up and threw her half empty beer as hard as she could at an innocent boat. The glass bottle exploded loudly, echoing like a dreadful scream and shattering all over the boat, leaving random scratches.
Emma heard a loud gasp behind her, and knew who it was as soon as she heard it.
Emma turned around slowly, a concealed look on her face. She laughed a bit. "It took you this long to find me? I expected more from you, Madame Mayor." Emma teased, a downcast look on her face when she didn't get a reply or a smile from Regina.
Emma turned around and sat down on the bench again, popping open a beer.
Regina joined her.
As soon as Regina sat down, she was being offered beer. Regina scoffed and let out a small remark about "not being raised without manners" and was surprised when Emma laughed about it, shrugging it off as an effect of the alcohol.
Emma coughed. "So, what are you doing here? I'd pretend to be surprised you even looked for me, but that'd be useless."
Regina sighed. She knew she could never hide her emotions from Emma, even if they didn't involve Emma directly. "You win, Miss Swan. Yes, I came looking for you. Yes, I missed your presence today. I apologize for what I said."
Emma stopped mid-swallow and put the beer on the ground. She started looking around in a puzzled way, a very confused look on her face.
"What the hell is with that look on your face, Emma? Why are you looking around like somebody just told you about winning a million dollar lottery?"
Emma burst out laughing. "Be-because! Oh, oh man, this is great."
Regina was clearly irked. "Spit it out already, then."
Emma stopped laughing and stared at Regina with a dopey smile for a few seconds before answering. "You just apologized to me! And it wasn't sarcastic either like usual. It was one hundred percent, absolutely positively genuine. Oh, and I accept your apology, too."
Regina tried to look bored by the fact that Emma accepted her apology, but she couldn't.
It was too exciting.
A week later, Emma was getting tired of the tension. Not the emotional tension – the physical tension. Regina had been constantly flirty but when the time came to do something about it, she'd completely switch her attitude and act like she hadn't said anything.
I mean, were there rules to this? Emma had never really done the slow burn lust thing. She'd never really been in a relationship either, besides Neal. Regina doesn't seem like the relationship type, either. I'm praying I'm just attracted as hell to Regina and there aren't any feelings besides friendliness.
Regina would be one hell of a frustrating person to deal with, Emma thought. She recalled that saying, "opposites attract."
Maybe it's true. Even just a little.
Emma grumbled resentfully at her hour old donut. This topic was for another time.
Regina had been getting tired of the tension too, she just didn't let Emma know this little fact. It's okay, though, because she has a plan.
Henry was going over to a friend's house for the entire night tonight. Regina was going to casually and carefully invite Emma over for a great meal of lasagna and feign being "too lonely to be left alone". Emma, being utterly Charming, will rush right over to help ease my aching, lonely heart. Knowing my looks and Emma's impulse control, this should work out perfectly.
Of course, Regina thought, there was the issue of both her and Emma's feelings. What if one of us – or both, God forbid – fall for the other? Regina grumbled, discouraged. As much as she enjoyed making other people feel absolutely horrible and relishing in their pain, the mere thought of doing it to Emma was wounding.
Regina didn't really hate Emma anymore, it was just a gentle dislike. Regina decided it was simple enough to call it what all the teenagers call things like this nowadays – her and Emma were "friends with benefits"
The mere idea of labeling what the relationship was made Regina tired.
Regina exhaled, deciding it was best to leave that topic alone until it was warranted.
After all, Regina did have lasagna to make. And it was going to be perfect.
Later on, Emma was at home playing on a busted up Xbox (Henry had given it to her, his reason being "Emma needs to have fun, even if it's through my old and half broken Xbox, Mom!") when her phone rang with a text message. Emma groaned, fully expecting it to be some major Storybrooke emergency she'd have to fix. Instead, she was pleasantly surprised when the name popping up was 'Mayor Mills'
"Emma – Henry is over at a friend's house tonight and I am feeling unexpectedly lonely. Would you mind coming over? I have lasagna and wine. Only if you want to, of course."
Emma's mouth dropped wide open. Was this it? Was this the moment she had been waiting for? There was only one way to find out.
As Emma gave Mary Margaret a cheap excuse as to why she won't be home tonight, Emma started feeling jittery. What if she was just making it all up? What if Regina really is just lonely and is inviting me for some food?
Either way, Emma was excited. She bounced excitedly as she turned the key in her Bug and rolled down the streets.
A/N – If you've read all of this, thank you so much! I really appreciate it. I'm not sure how long this story will be, but I'm aiming for about 40k words. From now on until I indicate otherwise, this story will be in flashback mode to tell the story of how Regina and Emma's relationship evolved. There will be fluff, angst, more fluff, some happy moments, some sad moments..more sad moments..Then we'll get on to the other stuff I have planned, which includes more sad moments.
Sorry I'm a bit wordy at times. I like to cover all my bases.