SEINFELD
THE SCARED
JOSH FAGAN
SCENE - JERRY'S APARTMENT
JERRY
You know you should really wash behind your ears.
GEORGE
What can I have behind my ears that needs washing? Do I work in a coal mine or something. Is dust settling there?
JERRY
Haven't you ever heard of washing behind your ears?
GEORGE
No. How are ears supposed to get dirty? What could I possibly do that would make my ears dirty.
JERRY
You know you should cut your nails too. I've been wanting to say something for a while, but it's getting disgusting. You're like Tina Turner.
GEORGE
I cut my nails last week.
JERRY
Then how come they're so long?
GEORGE
I like to be able to peel fruit. You ever tried to peel an orange with short fingernails? The juice gets in there, it stings.
JERRY
Have you ever heard of a knife?
GEORGE
I don't need help peeling, thank you very much. I think I can manage on my own.
JERRY
I don't get you. You know, I think you'd have no trouble living in the Stone Age. You're completely against modern science. Every household implement designed to make life easier for people has somehow personally offended you in some way.
GEORGE
Oh, is this the vacuum cleaner thing again? I told you I can't stand the noise. That sound, it's like fingernails on a blackboard.
JERRY
What about a microwave oven?
GEORGE
Radiation. I'm not putting that thing in my house. Who knows what those things do.
JERRY
Cook food.
GEORGE
Seemingly.
JERRY
Fine. Fine. What about an electric razor?
GEORGE
Whoa. Now there's your problem. Those things don't work. I had one fifteen years ago. I used to use it. After three weeks I looked like I'd been studying at a kabbala centre.
JERRY
What about credit cards?
GEORGE
Don't trust them. What if I lose one and someone else finds it? Then I'm paying for flights to Mexico, cruises.
JERRY
You report it stolen and they cancel the card. You don't pay for anything.
GEORGE
That's what they want you to think.
(Enter Kramer)
JERRY
Hey, do you own any credit cards?
KRAMER
No, I'm strictly cash.
JERRY
Why?
KRAMER
I like to be fluid.
JERRY
You mean liquid?
(Kramer is making a sandwich. He drops the plate and it shatters on the floor. Jerry and George both jump from fright. George is visibly shaken)
JERRY
What are you doing?
KRAMER
Sorry. It slipped.
JERRY
Are you alright?
GEORGE
Yeah, just a little shaken up.
JERRY
You look like you just saw LaGuardia's ghost, or something.
GEORGE
No. I'm fine.
JERRY
Will you look what you did.
KRAMER
I said I'm sorry. Where's your mayo?
JERRY
I'm out.
(George is still sitting, still as a rock)
JERRY
George. George! Is everything OK?
GEORGE
What?
JERRY
What's going on?
GEORGE
Just a little frightened, that's all.
JERRY
This is your fault.
KRAMER
Come on. Get over it. You know I don't know what the big deal is. I've been in restaurants where the busboy dropped a stack of plates this high (reaches arms out as far as they can go) on the floor. Shattered. Glass everywhere! And I didn't move an inch.
JERRY
You've got ice water running in those veins.
KRAMER
You can't be scared. You can't let yourself be scared. Because that's when they get you.
JERRY
Alright. Take your sandwich and get out of here.
KRAMER
You think you can scare me? Oh, no. I can't be scared. Never have, and never will.
GEORGE
Wait a second. You're immune to fear?
KRAMER
I've got fear antibodies.
JERRY
Don't listen to him. I've seen you scared a hundred times.
KRAMER
Maybe I jump. But I'm not scared.
JERRY
Then what is that?
KRAMER
It's a friendly greeting. Like tipping your hat.
(Exit Kramer)
GEORGE
Can you believe that?
JERRY
I'll believe anything.
GEORGE
Can't be scared. Who can't be scared? Everyone is scared.
JERRY
I'm scared right now.
SCENE - ELAINE'S OFFICE
ELAINE
Hey. Sally. Can you come here for a second.
SALLY
What's up?
ELAINE
I'm trying to get this fax machine to work. I think it's jammed. Do you have any idea how these things work?
SALLY
No. I'm no good with machines, Elaine. Sorry.
ELAINE
Don't worry about it.
SALLY
Hey, it's almost twelve. You want to go somewhere for lunch?
ELAINE
Sure. Sure.
SALLY
OK. I just have to run some proofs. See you in the lobby in ten minutes?
ELAINE
Yeah.
(Exit Sally)
ELAINE
Work. Work!
SCENE - JERRY'S APARTMENT
(George is eating a chocolate bar, and Jerry is in the kitchen)
JERRY
I wonder how long it takes for fruit to go bad. It always seems to be changing. (George is motioning towards Jerry at the counter) Do you want something?
GEORGE
Bring me the cookies.
JERRY
Are you serious?
GEORGE
Yeah. Hey, I just had a great idea. I'm eating a Mounds. And I want a cookie. What about a cookie with Mounds in it?
JERRY
A candy bar cookie?
GEORGE
Yeah.
JERRY
Why not just eat a lump of sugar?
GEORGE
I think it's a great idea. I'm gonna look into this.
JERRY
Yeah, what are you gonna do? Write a letter.
GEORGE
I don't know.
(Buzzer sounds, and George jumps off his seat)
JERRY
What's this?
GEORGE
What?
JERRY
I could've slid a phone book under you.
GEORGE
I'm still a little jumpy from when Kramer dropped the plate.
JERRY
That was yesterday.
GEORGE
So? Lucy Turmen jumped out at me from behind a bush in sixth grade and I still wake up in a cold sweat sometimes.
(Jerry answers the buzzer)
ELAINE
It's me.
(Jerry buzzes her in)
GEORGE
What are you doing?
JERRY
Writing a cheque.
GEORGE
To who?
JERRY
Why is this any of your business?
GEORGE
It's a commercial here. (George points at the TV)
JERRY
It's for breast cancer research. Elaine's walking. I'm sponsoring her.
GEORGE
Whoa! Five hundred dollars!
JERRY
So.
GEORGE
That's a lot of money.
JERRY
It's for a good cause.
GEORGE
So what? Five hundred dollars. Do you at least get a hat, or something?
JERRY
Look. It's a write-off. And it's for Elaine.
GEORGE
Why couldn't you pick another charity?
JERRY
You don't like breast cancer research?
GEORGE
It's alright. It's a little...feminine.
JERRY
So you want me to donate to a men's charity?
GEORGE
Well you're a man.
JERRY
So what, like ear hair research? Impotence studies.
GEORGE
(Points to his head)
JERRY
It's amazing that with all these bald people walking around, they haven't found a cure yet. I can see it happening one day.
GEORGE
What do you think they're going to cure first? Baldness or cancer?
JERRY
I don't know. But I'll tell you what though. There are a lot of bald scientists.
(Enter Elaine)
ELAINE
I'm so hungry.
JERRY
Help yourself. Didn't you eat lunch?
ELAINE
No! I was trying to get my stupid fax machine to work and I got so preoccupied I missed it.
GEORGE
Why didn't you just look at the manual?
ELAINE
I did. It's wrong.
GEORGE
Maybe it's just the English. Did you try the Spanish? Or the French?
ELAINE
Wrong. Wrong. I stood up this new girl. We were supposed to have lunch. I really like her.
JERRY
In a non-sexual way of course.
ELAINE
Yeah. Was that necessary?
JERRY
You can never be too clear on these things.
ELAINE
She's so nice.
JERRY
Oh yeah, what's her number?
ELAINE
Oh, no.
JERRY
What?
ELAINE
You want to go out with her?
JERRY
Is she single?
ELAINE
Yeah.
JERRY
Then why not?
ELAINE
She's too good for you.
JERRY
Too good for me? How could anyone be too good for me?
GEORGE
Couldn't be too good.
ELAINE
I'm not giving you her number.
GEORGE
Potato chips someone. Chips. (George raises his arm to signal that he wants someone to bring him potato chips)
(Elaine sneaks up behind George with a bag of chips and slams her hands together on the middle of the bag, producing a loud "pop" sound. George, still feeling the effects of Kramer's plate drop, gets up and runs into Jerry's bedroom.)
SCENE - ELAINE'S OFFICE
ELAINE
Sally. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am I stood you up yesterday. I completely forgot you were waiting for me. It's this stupid fax machine. It's ruining my life. Aren't you? (Elaine throws a file folder at the fax machine)
SALLY
Don't worry. It's no big deal.
ELAINE
Really? Because I would be kind of mad if someone did that to me.
SALLY
No. It's OK. Really.
ELAINE
Really?
SALLY
Really.
ELAINE
Well do you want to go out today?
SALLY
Sure, that would be great! Oh, and I love those shoes. They're so cute on you.
ELAINE
Oh. Thanks.
(Jerry knocks on the door of Elaine's office and enters)
JERRY
Hello.
ELAINE
Jerry! What are you doing...Oh no.
SALLY
Hi.
(Elaine gets up and forces Jerry out the door after a brief struggle)
SALLY
Elaine! Who was that?
ELAINE
Oh. That's my...paperboy. You know, I already paid him this week, but he keeps following me around. I think he's kind of demented or something. He leaves me the Post and the Times. Like some kind of offering.
(Jerry opens the door and enters)
JERRY
Now that wasn't very nice. You must be Sally?
SALLY
Yeah, Hi. How did you know my name?
JERRY
(Very sweet and sincere sounding) I'm Elaine's friend. Jerry! Now I don't know what kind of silly stories Elaine has been telling you about me...
SALLY
You're not her paperboy?
JERRY
Not unless you're talking about wrapping paper. And the children's toys I decorate at Christmas AND Chanukah.
ELAINE
Sally should be getting back to work.
JERRY
I'll walk her to her office.
SALLY
What a gentleman.
ELAINE
Yeah.
(Jerry and Sally exit. Elaine sits down. Jerry returns, poking his head in at the door and smiling at Elaine. Elaine gets up and runs to the door.)
ELAINE
Sally! What about lunch?
SCENE - STREET
(Someone taps Kramer on the shoulder as he is staring into a shop window. He turns around as cool as can be.)
STEVE
Kramer?
KRAMER
Maybe.
STEVE
It's Steve Howson. Remember. Jerry's friend with purple Chevette.
KRAMER
Steve Howson.
STEVE
Right. Well how are you?
KRAMER
I'm OK.
STEVE
Oh. Well, how's your family?
KRAMER
OK too.
(Steve is obviously waiting for Kramer to ask him how he is, and how his family is doing. But Kramer is oblivious to this social custom of returning queries and he simply stands there.)
STEVE
And everything? Everything is good? You're good, the health is good, you're feeling good?
KRAMER
I can't complain.
STEVE
You're...good?
KRAMER
I'm great.
STEVE
Oh.
KRAMER
Well I'll see you later.
SCENE - RESTAURANT
(Jerry has put on a really sweet act to convince Sally that he's a good person. His voice is like Mr. Rogers', really kind and endearing)
JERRY
You know tartar sauce is actually made from the teeth of the fish. The ones with bad oral hygiene. It's a good thing fish don't brush their teeth because...no tartar sauce.
SALLY
That isn't true.
JERRY
You caught me again.
SALLY
This has been such a great evening.
JERRY
You know I didn't mind it.
SALLY
It's a shame it has to end.
JERRY
Well. The sun will rise. Light comes streaming in.
SALLY
Not if you keep your curtains closed.
JERRY
That's right. That's right. Unless they're venetian blinds and then they've got to be pointing the right way.
SALLY
You know which way my blinds are pointing.
JERRY
I've got an idea.
SCENE - COFFEE SHOP
(George is sitting in the booth, by himself, with a wide array of candy bars laid out in front of him. A waitress is standing by the table holding a cookie.)
GEORGE
Do you have anything bigger? Like the size of a soup plate?
WAITRESS
Sorry. That's the biggest one we've got.
GEORGE
Alright.
(Kramer comes through the door, taps George on the shoulder, and sits down. George is frightened and the cookie falls to the ground. Kramer picks it up and eats it.)
GEORGE
You're eating that?
KRAMER
What?
GEORGE
It was on the floor. I walked through the park on the way here. Do you know what that means?
KRAMER
So what? I've eaten dirt before. It's good for you. Gets the toxins out. What are you doing?
GEORGE
Nothing.
KRAMER
Is that a Clark bar?
GEORGE
Yeah.
KRAMER
I thought they didn't make those anymore.
GEORGE
Well they do.
KRAMER
But I thought they didn't.
GEORGE
Alright. That's enough.
(Steve enters the coffee shop with his wife. Kramer motions hello, but Steve gives him the cold shoulder.)
KRAMER
Did you see that?
GEORGE
That guy with the vest?
KRAMER
He shunned me.
GEORGE
He probably didn't see you.
KRAMER
Oh, he saw me. I just ran into him yesterday. That's Jerry's friend. The purple volvo.
GEORGE
So maybe you said something.
KRAMER
Why would I say something? You know me. I'm all about cordiality. I'm nothing if not cordial.
GEORGE
Right. I know you. You're cordial. Well, what happened?
KRAMER
I was looking at some lace in this store window. You know, because I'm out of doilies. And this guy taps me on the shoulder. And he asks me how I am, how I feel, how everyone is. And that was it.
GEORGE
What did you say?
KRAMER
I said I was great.
GEORGE
You didn't ask him how he was?
KRAMER
No.
GEORGE
And he asked you how your family was? And you didn't ask him?
KRAMER
No. Was I supposed to?
GEORGE
Of course you were supposed to. Someone comes up to you, asks how you are, asks how your family is, you've got to reciprocate.
KRAMER
No, no, no. So you're saying he only asked me so I would asking him back? That's crazy!
GEORGE
Why do you say, "Thank you?" So someone will say, "Don't worry about it, you're welcome."
KRAMER
I don't say thank you.
(Waitress comes by the table and gives Kramer a cup of coffee)
WAITRESS
Here you go. (Waiting for a thank you)
(The waitress is waiting for a thank you, and is looking at Kramer. Kramer refuses to give a thank you, and looks blankly at the waitress)
SCENE - JERRY'S APARTMENT
ELAINE
What's wrong?
JERRY
Nothing. I'm just a little tired?
ELAINE
Big night?
JERRY
It was kind of a 24 hour thing.
ELAINE
Oh. And now you're hungover?
JERRY
I didn't drink.
ELAINE
Sexual hangover. Bangover.
JERRY
You mean rollover.
ELAINE
Whatever.
JERRY
She's working me like a Clydesdale. I don't think I can keep this up. You know I don't know what it is about women that the nicer and gentler they are outside the bedroom, that it doesn't carry into their sex lives. They're completely different people. One minute this woman is helping a blind guy across the street, and the next thing you know she's smashing against the headboard like an iceberg and the Titanic. It's completely opposite in men. The biggest jerk you know is thinking about sex 24 hours a day. What you see is what you get.
ELAINE
You mean big hairy arms and one really thick eyebrow.
JERRY
Yes.
ELAINE
You know, I've never heard a man complain he's having too much sex before. It's kind of a turnoff.
JERRY
Too much? It was like some kind of carnal marathon. I was like some punch drunk boxer up against the ropes and she had me all tied up. (Feigns a punching motion and boxer's stance) Right, left, working the body.
ELAINE
So the relationship's over?
JERRY
Well, I wouldn't say that.
ELAINE
Why not. I know you Jerry, you can't keep up with her.
JERRY
Why not?
ELAINE
Because you're not that kind of guy.
JERRY
Really? So what kind of guy am I?
ELAINE
You know, the one who needs help carrying his suitcase.
JERRY
That was one time! I had paperweights in there.
ELAINE
I finally got that stupid fax machine to work. Finally. I faxed in my sponsor sheet to the breast cancer walk.
JERRY
Oh yeah. I'm gonna be out there tomorrow.
ELAINE
Why?
JERRY
Sally's making me go. Cheer her on. You know, it's a walk, not a steeplechase.
ELAINE
Won't you be busy?
JERRY
No. Her plumber's coming in tomorrow morning. Should be about a three hour break. Then it's onto the shower. And once you're in there, there's only one way out.
SCENE - COFFEE SHOP
(Jerry enters the coffee shop, alone. George is still there working on his cookie)
JERRY
What are you doing here?
GEORGE
I've almost got it figured out.
JERRY
Got what figured out? You've just got a cookie and some chocolate. Shouldn't you be doing this in a kitchen, or something.
GEORGE
Hey, it's all up here. What's in the box?
JERRY
Some stuff I'm taking down to donate. How are the nerves?
GEORGE
They're better, thank you.
(George looks at Jerry like he wants to see what's in the box)
JERRY
Fine! I guess this can be considered charity.
GEORGE
Hey, I'm disabled. When I go to a movie theatre I use those handicap doors. They're so heavy. It's like opening a bank vault.
JERRY
What do you do if someone asks you what you're doing?
GEORGE
Hey, I'm handicapped. I'm socially retarded.
JERRY
Take your time. (Thrusts the box at George)
GEORGE
You're getting rid of these clothes? But you wear these all the time.
JERRY
Yeah. Sally really likes them. I think they kind of...you know, turn her...
GEORGE
OK.
JERRY
Well, what was I supposed to say?
GEORGE
Nothing. (Picks up a baseball cap out of the box) Can I take these?
JERRY
Sure. Be my guest.
GEORGE
You're throwing this away?
(George produces Jerry's old electric razor from the box.)
JERRY
I thought you said you hated electric razors?
GEORGE
I do.
JERRY
Just not when they're free?
GEORGE
I've had enough of shaving cream.
JERRY
Just focus on the cookie, Sara Lee.
SCENE - SIDEWALK
JERRY
Don't you think "Hogwash" is an expression that should be retired? I mean who uses that word anymore? What does it even mean?
GEORGE
Yeah.
JERRY
It's like names. Do you ever hear any kids called Murray anymore? Or Henrietta?
(Steve and his wife are standing on the sidewalk in front of a card table they have set up on the street. They are both wearing matching outfits and caps. It appears they are collecting money for a charity.)
STEVE
Jerry?
JERRY
Hey! Steve. How are you?
STEVE
I'm fine. How are you?
JERRY
I'm great.
STEVE
That's good to hear. You know I saw your friend Kramer yesterday. What's wrong with that guy? I asked him how he was, he didn't say anything? Didn't ask me how I was, didn't ask me how my family was. Nothing.
JERRY
Oh really?
STEVE
Yeah.
JERRY
Well, Steve. You know, asking someone how they are is really just a formality. I mean, is anyone ever bad?
STEVE
Sometimes.
JERRY
So what are you doing out here?
STEVE
We're collecting donations for the breast cancer walk tomorrow.
JERRY
Oh, yeah. You're walking? Because my friend is walking too.
STEVE
Well, how about a little something for the charity?
JERRY
It's funny because I just got finished writing a check for my friend for five hundred dollars.
STEVE
Really?
JERRY
Yeah.
STEVE
Well, how about a dollar? Just so I can get your name down on the list.
JERRY
But I just wrote a check for five hundred.
STEVE
So what are you saying?
JERRY
Nothing.
STEVE
You won't give me anything?
JERRY
It's not the money. It's the principle. I can't just keep giving money to everyone with their hand out. I wouldn't have anything left.
STEVE
It's not for me, Jerry. We're walking for cancer.
JERRY
Really? I thought you'd be walking against cancer.
STEVE
Alright.
(Steve is obviously very upset with Jerry's refusal to donate even a dollar.)
JERRY
By the way, how's your wife?
STEVE
She has cancer.
SCENE - BREAST CANCER WALK
JERRY
Do they really need to have everyone lined up like this? They're not racing.
GEORGE
Maybe.
JERRY
Will you stop playing with that thing. (George is holding a cookie and studying it intensely)
GEORGE
This is it! This is the one. Finally, the right blend, the perfect cookie.
JERRY
There's Elaine.
ELAINE
Tired?
JERRY
No, not really. She ate some bad shellfish last night. The vomiting kind of spoiled the mood.
ELAINE
I was thinking, maybe you should get separate beds.
JERRY
She'd just push them together. Hey, I'm not sleeping in the crack.
ELAINE
What is that?
JERRY
It's the cookie of tomorrow.
ELAINE
Let me have a bite.
GEORGE
No! No eating.
ELAINE
Isn't it a cookie?
GEORGE
Lets just calm down here. Everyone settle down.
ELAINE
Hey. Aren't those your clothes?
(George is wearing Jerry's old clothes from the box that he took at the coffee shop)
JERRY
I let him have them. I was gonna give them away anyway.
ELAINE
But they don't fit.
GEORGE
They're good enough. What is this, a fashion show? You know how much sweatpants cost?
ELAINE
I'm gonna go. They're gonna start any minute.
(Exit Elaine)
GEORGE
Oh. Look at this, my shoe's untied.
JERRY
I'm gonna go look for Kramer.
SCENE - REGISTRATION TABLE
ELAINE
Elaine Benes. I'm checking in, I guess.
STEVE
Elaine Benes. Oh, there's a problem.
ELAINE
What problem?
STEVE
It looks like we never received your sponsor lists.
ELAINE
That's impossible. I faxed them over yesterday.
STEVE
Well it looks like we never got them.
ELAINE
That stupid fax machine! Alright, alright. So just give me the tag and I'll walk.
STEVE
We can't do that. No tag unless you have over $1000 in sponsors.
ELAINE
But I do.
STEVE
Well, we don't know that.
ELAINE
So what, you're telling me that I can't walk for breast cancer?
STEVE
It's against breast cancer.
ELAINE
Sor-ry. Well I'll tell you what. I'm walking.
STEVE
No you're not.
ELAINE
Yes I am. I'm walking.
STEVE
No you're not.
ELAINE
Give me that ribbon!
(Enter Jerry)
JERRY
Hey. What's going on here?
ELAINE
He won't let me walk because my stupid fax machine ate my sponsor list.
JERRY
Steve?
STEVE
What are you doing here?
JERRY
This is my friend, the one I wrote the check for. The five hundred dollars.
STEVE
Yeah, the alleged five hundred dollars.
JERRY
But I wrote the check.
STEVE
We see people like you all the time. They write the check, sure. But they post-date it. They sign the wrong name. We see people like you all the time. (Mimicking Jerry) "Oh look, I'll write a five hundred dollar check and sign it Werner Von Braun. No one will notice." Well, the bank notices! When you stop payment.
JERRY
You get a lot of donations from captured Nazi scientists?
STEVE
Why don't you just get out of here.
ELAINE
You can't throw us out. This is for charity.
STEVE
Officer!
JERRY
Alright. We're leaving. You just made a big mistake. Prostate cancer is going to get the biggest check they've ever seen!
SCENE - THE SIDEWALK
(George bends over to tie his shoe. He is wearing Jerry's old clothes and baseball cap. His butt is in the air. Sally walks up behind him and grabs at his backside, thinking he is Jerry.)
GEORGE
Whoa!
SALLY
Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I thought you were someone else.
(Enter Jerry)
JERRY
Sally.
SALLY
George? I'm so sorry.
GEORGE
No. (Trembling) It's, it's alright.
SALLY
Are you OK? You look a little flushed?
GEORGE
No. I'm fine.
(George's nerves are shot again, and he starts to tremble)
JERRY
Here we go.
(Enter Kramer)
KRAMER
Hey, Jerry. I saw that guy again. The one I didn't ask how he was. Yeah, he's looking for you.
JERRY
I know. I just saw him. What did you say?
KRAMER
Nothing. I didn't say anything. Only that you were here and you weren't walking. And I told him about the check. Yeah, I've never heard about it.
JERRY
You idiot. Why did you tell him about the check?
KRAMER
Well, he asked. It was only polite, Jerry. Come on!
JERRY
But I wrote the check!
KRAMER
Well no one told me!
Hey, that's a good looking cookie.
GEORGE
I know.
KRAMER
Here, give it to me.
GEORGE
No.
KRAMER
Why not?
GEORGE
No one can touch it. (George starts fidgeting with his chin, pulling at something)
JERRY
What are you doing?
GEORGE
It's this hair. I've got a hair right here. I can't pull it out. I can't get a grip on it. It's that razor you gave me. I told you it was a piece of junk.
JERRY
I didn't give it to you, you took it.
GEORGE
Electric razor? Why would anyone use shaving cream if those things worked? Huh. You think I like getting that stuff in my ears, all over my neck? Here, (hands Kramer the cookie) hold this.
KRAMER
Ow! Why don't you cut your fingernails. You skinned me.
GEORGE
Oranges!
(George begins to tug at his chin. As he does, the starter can be seen raising his pistol in the air and firing a blank to begin the walk. As the blank is shot, an unsuspecting Kramer jumps in fright and throws the cookie in the air. George sees it and follows its path right into the middle of the oncoming walkers)
JERRY
Can't be scared, huh?
(George rushes into the path of the walkers to retrieve the cookie. Kramer rushes beside him, his back turned to the walkers. Elaine has weaseled her way into the group of walkers. She is looking left and right, unaware that she is about to trample George and Kramer who are directly in her path. Right as he is about to be trampled, a stranger leaps out of the crowd and pushes him out of the way. Kramer is now on his back looking up at the person who rescued him. It is Bania.)
BANIA
Kramer. How are you? You hurt? You could've been killed.
KRAMER
I'm fine.
BANIA
Well? Aren't you gonna thank me?
THE END