"God dammit Gil! I've seen the marks on your hand from your brother's dog! It's been weeks and they still haven't healed! Why won't you just tell me what's wrong!"
Hot tears fell from the Canadians eyes. He knew the answer before Gil even had the answer, but he was tired of being lied to. He just wanted to hear the truth from his mouth for once, not everyone else's. It hurt him so badly to have this huge secret hidden from him. Gilbert had been getting paler over the last few weeks and his bright red eyes were losing their life and luster; his fate was obvious, yet everyone was choosing to ignore it.
The tears were too much for Gilbert to handle seeing right now. This was not how he had meant for this conversation to play out at all. While he didn't have much time left, he wanted the time they had left to be filled with happiness.
Okay that was partly a lie. The real reason he hadn't told Matthew, Ludwig, or even Francis and Toni yet, was because he was scared. The thought of dying and leaving behind everyone made him break down. At one point Gil thought he was going to live forever, the great nation of Prussia. Even after the dreaded unification day, he was still around.
But now that was all coming to an end.
"Birdie… Please don't do this" He reached his arm out to hold the other, but before he could reach his hand out to grab him, Matthew turned away, his arms crossed, the tears coming down harder this time.
"Say it Gil" He choked out between his tears, looking into the night sky. It was a cruel sense of irony that such a beautiful night had led to this conversation.
He turned back around and looked Gilbert in the eyes, his own violet eyes wet from tears and filled with hurt, confusion, and heart break, a heartbreak that could only come from knowing you're about to lose your lover forever.
"You're about to die aren't you"
"Well I wouldn't go as far as to say that…." He mumbled. If he said it out loud, that would mean that it was true.
The taller blonde threw his hands down in disgust; it was unbelievable what he was hearing.
"Why are you doing this Gil? Can't you see that by not admitting it you're hurting everyone! I love you, you idiot! Can't you get your head out of your ass for two seconds to realize this!? You're denying us closure and time with you before you go! What if tomorrow I wake up and you're gone? What if I never get a chance to say goodbye! Why can't you see that I will never forgive myself for this?"
Those last words cut the Prussian deep in his soul. The last thing he wanted to hurt his friends and that is exactly what he was doing. He could feel his own red eyes fill with tears, and no matter how hard he tried to hold them back, they were coming with gusto. He hated crying more than anything. He always felt weak, helpless, "un-awesome" when he cried.
"Matty… That is the last thing I would want to do to you, you know that"
At that Matthew's temper was growing short. "Say it Gilbert"
There was no way of getting around it this time. It was going to happen no matter how much he tried to stop it.
"I'M DYING. THERE I SAID IT!?" He yelled out, the tears breaking through the dam. "Are you happy now? I'm such a loser that I lost my status as a nation! Oh look at me, the poor pitiful Prussian is slowly disappearing!"
At that moment Matthew felt every muscle in his body go numb and collapsed forward into his lovers arms. The one person who saw him when no one else would was about to disappear in a cruel and twisted sense of irony. He held Gilbert as tight as he could, feeling a physical need to feel as much of him in his arms, for he had no idea if he would be there tomorrow, or one year from now.
"Are you sure you have to leave" He asked shyly.
"Ja, but this just means we have to make our time together the most awesome time anyone has ever had…. One that you will remember for the next eternity"