Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. If I did, I wouldn't be wasting my time writing fanfic.
The Escape
Leia was slowly coming undone. It seemed like a thousand years had passed since Han's unexpected and unwelcome death, but in reality it had only been twenty-eight days. Her lover's death had had brought her whole world crashing down, collapsing upon itself. It had been the final straw, the breaking point. It had left her dying inside. Or at least death was what she felt. The death of her soul. The death of her hopes. The demise of Han. Sometimes she doubted her own sanity. Sometimes she no longer knew who she was or what she was. She just was.
Time no longer held any meaning. It just went on forever. It was as if she was frozen in time, the way her soul seemed to be frozen in death. Life no longer had a meaning. It was an endless nightmare, one that Leia could never wake from. A prison she could never escape. Sometimes she wondered what kept her going. Why was she still fighting? Why did she persist? Why resist? The list of questions did not have an end. Only there were no answers to those questions. There never were. Not after Alderaan's destruction and the death of everyone she had once held dear. Not at Bespin. Not now. The nightmare continued, paying no heed to her questions. It followed her everywhere, so she hid behind her mask of cold indifference and determination. And she kept running.
As Leia was doing right now. The alliance had established a new base near the polar icecap of a small, unnamed planet. Han would have complained about how we had already seen enough snow and ice to last us a lifetime, Leia mused. At the time, they had been adamant that the empire would never find them there, but never was a strong word. Ironically, the empire had somehow discovered their "secret" base only days later. The alliance High Command had already been suspecting that there was a spy in their midst, and Leia was beginning to agree with them.
Leia shook herself awake. She was already running late; the majority of the base had been evacuated. This was no time for idle thoughts. Leia fervently hoped that Lando and Chewie would wait for her. Chewie would never abandon her. Distressed as he had been after the events of Bespin, Chewbacca had extended his life debt onto her, swearing to protect her with his life. Lando, on the other hand...Leia thought, her hatred flaring yet again. Who knew what the traitor would do? He had, after all, betrayed her and—Leia stopped in mid-thought. This was one of those things that she had forbidden herself to think about. Only now the list seemed to include all she lived for. Only life didn't matter anymore. Nothing did. Nothing. It was the perfect word to describe what she felt.
Leia raced past countless corridors, all an identical shade of sterile white. Blank. The color of nothing. Leia almost flew into the cavernous entrance of a hangar bay. It was much colder here, her breath visible against the freezing air, and all but empty. She could see a lone X-wing at the far end of the bay. No farther than twenty meters away, she could see someone sprinting toward it, someone she recognized as Luke. He turned around, as if shot, and made his way toward Leia.
"Leia...what are you doing here? You're in the wrong---"He blanched, not even bothering to complete his sentence. His eyes widened in fear. Without an explanation, he practically dragged her behind a pile of crates. Reflexively, Leia struggled against him and broke away. Luke tried to drag her back behind the crates, but at the worst possible time, a squad of stormtroopers burst in, firing their blasters nonstop. Leia was about to draw her own blaster when she saw the blaster bolt heading for her. She was almost entranced by it. She frantically tried to fire her own, only to find that she had run out of ammo. Leia could run, but the way was blocked. She would be dead before she hit the floor. This was the end.
The end did not come. Leia hit the floor alive. A fraction of a second later, white-hot agony lanced through her. Had she been shot after all? Leia wondered idly. Then she realized that the pain was not hers. Her friend fell down beside her, his blaster wound still smoking, his body limp, as if in death. Realization dawned on her. Luke had taken that shot for her. He had taken her blaster bolt. Would he die her death? No. Leia could tell that he was alive. She would have known if he wasn't. So why was he not showing any signs of life? Then she remembered that there were stormtroopers standing over them. She did not dare to breathe or move so much as an eyeball. She held her breath. Her heart seemed to stop. She seemed to fall into a relaxed state. Had the circumstances been different, it would have been peaceful.
The lead stormtrooper kicked Leia in the ribs. Hard. Biting back an outcry, Leia didn't budge.
"She's dead." the stormtrooper observed. With that, they turned around and swaggered out.
Hardly daring to breathe again, Leia picked herself off the cold, hard floor. That did not mean much, as the entire base was, in more than one way, cold as Hoth. Although, at the moment, that did not concern her. Leia gingerly picked Luke up, dragging the young jedi into a corner. She knelt beside him, not knowing what to say. Her mind was a blank slate.
Leia looked down at her friend. He was a deathly shade of white, and his breathing was shallow and ragged. Was he dying? Leia wondered for the thousandth time. He couldn't be. He was too strong for that. He had survived much worse than this. Luke Skywalker couldn't die. It was something that just didn't happen. Then why is he slipping away right before my eyes? He was her last anchor to reality. Her last reason to live. Her last hope.
Leia could not get her vocal cords to work. Her throat seemed to close tighter with every attempt. She could not even think of anything coherent to say. Finally, she gathered all her strength and said something.
"You're not..." Leia broke off.
"Dying?" Luke's voice was barely a whisper. "Yes. You cannot defy death."
"You can't die." Leia choked out, her voice cracking.
"Yes I can...It is inevitable. I can't stop it. It happens sooner or later. I guess I was destined to die early." There was something about the way he said the word "destined", but Leia could not put her finger on it.
"You don't mean that. You don't mean you're saying. You will live through this, I know you will!" As she said that, Leia began to regain her confidence, false as it was. False, like the mask she hid behind in desperate times. "You always have." She added, softening.
"Only because you were there for me. You've saved me too many times. Sometimes we have to save ourselves. Save ourselves from the lies we live. Save ourselves...from ourselves."
"Don't leave me to die alone. Don't let go." Leia sobbed desperately. She could feel him slowly fading away, like the blood flowing between her fingers. The tighter she grasped him, the further away he slipped.
"I've been falling...dying for a long time." Luke whispered, his voice lightyears away, as if he were already on another plane of existence. "When you fly above all else...the only way to go is down...be strong, Leia...save yourself...there is no death..."His mouth remained slightly open, as if he wanted to say something more. He stared at Leia through unfocused eyes, wanting to scream that he was sorry.
A tense silence formed. Blue eyes met brown, and something sparked between them, forming a link. It connected them deeply, deeper than the bond they had felt at Bespin. It wasn't love, but at the same time, it was love. Just not a romantic one. It was a brotherly love, one you would feel for a younger sibling. Their link was slowly fading. Leia tried to tighten he hold on his waning presence, but it was like trying to hold water in your palm. Somehow it slipped through her fingers. The more she held on, the faster he faded, until he was gone, his spirit vanished without a trace, leaving an empty shell. Yet somehow a tiny fragment of their link remained.
It was cold. Colder than a Hoth night, darker than the vast blackness of space. Luke's once bright eyes were now dead and empty, mirroring Leia's soul. Though she was still there, she felt as if she had died with Han twenty-eight days ago. Leia had never been truly alone. She had always had something to cling to. Now she was all alone.
Leia collapsed over the fallen jedi, still holding on to what had once been her friend. Her brother. Her brother in all but blood. For the first time in days, Leia wept, her tears flowing freely for the first time in a thousand years. Somehow, her tears filled the emptiness in her heart. Lying down next to her brother's corpse, she pressed her face against his chest.
He was still warm. Not dead. He had said there was no death. No death? Yes. There was no death. Han had never died. He was right there, in the Falcon's cockpit. She was also there, aboard the Falcon. There were no TIEs chasing them. The galaxy was a peaceful place. They were heading toward Alderaan right now.None of this had happened. None of what? It had all been a nightmare. She wasn't lying on the floor of a hangar bay. That was not her brother's body next to her. That was not Luke's blood on her hands. There was no blood, nor pain, nor death. There was only love peace and warmth. Warmth. It was so warm here. She could lie in her world forever. Here, she could do whatever she wanted. Here, all dreams came true. Leia was complete. She was safe. She didn't have to wear her mask. She no longer had to run. She was home.
Had someone been there, they would not have seen what Leia saw. They would have seen two slight figures, entwined on the floor of a hangar, their bodies crystallized with frost. Outside the deserted rebel base, the sun was setting. It was a red sunset, filling the sky with its bloody light. Some said that a red sunset meant that blood had been spilt.