Soul on Fire
Sometimes they'd go all day without seeing each other, but that wasn't unusual for them really. They had become used to fleeting glances and careful acknowledgements whenever there was a quietening in-between all the noise.
That's what it was, a quietening. All it would take would be brush of an elbow or the tentative squeeze of the shoulder after a particularly trying op, and the fuzz, the sand, the cacophony of their stifling surroundings would fade away. If only for a moment.
Bernie didn't notice it at first. At first, any semblance of human contact, physical or emotional, past mere the perfunctory was a happy bonus. Naturally, Bernie and Alex had begun simply as colleagues. In fact, there was always an ever so subtle spark of rivalry, which manifested itself into the usual practice of professional one-upmanship that always seemed to pervade the army, as well as a ward. In Alex, Bernie sensed an equal, a challenger to her rigidity. Alex was mischievous, with a wicked smile that spread widely across her whole face when she knew she was winning. Bernie's own smile would twist gingerly from the side of her mouth in response. Their days would often end with them in what would pass for the medical repository, laughing until Bernie's cheeks hurt. It felt good.
Bernie would remember their first kiss for as long as she lived. She had thought of it often, especially now that she was alone, living a half life at Holby. She thought it of now as she sat on the bench near by the vehicle drop-off point. What a fantastic cliché I am, she scoffed, she suddenly craving the horrid taste of a cigarette for the first time in years. Almost as if the pungent poison would mask the tingling she felt every time she thought of Alex when she would kiss the corner of her mouth, like she did the first time they finally found each other. And just like she did today, in the staff changing room.
She never considered that she could fall in love again. Her romantic life had faded not long after the children were born, and it just seemed to make sense to assume that part of her life was over once she had decided to resume her service. Her marriage had lost its potency, and only continued to fade once thousands of miles had been put between them. When she began to have an inkling of what was really going on between her and Alex, she floated in denial. Stoicism was her forte after all. Alex was a brilliant anaesthetist, a brave soldier and a patriot. As much as Alex liked to pretend to be restless spirit, Bernie knew she was just waiting for the right reason to stay. For Alex, it was Bernie. It was just a shame that they both had to realise that in a middle of warzone.